# Hammacher Schlemmer: The pretentious catalogue that goes in The wastebin **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [May 11, 2021, 6:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hammacher-schlemmer-the-pretentious-catalogue-that-goes-in-the-wastebin/941857 "2021-05-11T18:45:06Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![mixdenny](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mixdenny/32/2962_2.png) [@mixdenny](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/mixdenny)\ **Post date:** [May 11, 2021, 8:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hammacher-schlemmer-the-pretentious-catalogue-that-goes-in-the-wastebin/941857/21 "2021-05-11T20:21:18Z")
I bet Martha Stewart doesn’t throw her catalogs out. You guys need to aspire to higher ideals. I was watching Jay Leno go on a tour of her Edsel Ford house. She pointed out the cedar (I think) needles covering all the paths which she has to get from other parts of the state since they don’t grow on her estate. Jay asked, “Why cedar needles?” She replied, “Because they are pretty!” The driveway is a half mile of crushed pink granite gravel. It is scraped up every fall and WASHED and stored until spring when it is returned. And I remember when she took a single egg - the most perfectly colored egg her hens ever laid - to the boatyard so they could make the yacht she had commissioned that exact color. And by golly they did it. Molded in, not painted. Why us peasants are getting the catalogs I don’t know. ---
**Author:** ![digs](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/digs/32/14889_2.png) [@digs](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/digs)\ **Post date:** [May 11, 2021, 8:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hammacher-schlemmer-the-pretentious-catalogue-that-goes-in-the-wastebin/941857/22 "2021-05-11T20:26:57Z")
> [@Northern\_Piper](#): > > Hammacher Schlemmer I only know HS from New Yorker cartoons… [![](https://imgc.allpostersimages.com/img/print/u-g-PGQVZ40.jpg?w=550&h=550&p=0) ](https://imgc.allpostersimages.com/img/print/u-g-PGQVZ40.jpg?w=550&h=550&p=0) ---
**Author:** ![QuickSilver](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/quicksilver/32/7832_2.png) [@QuickSilver](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/QuickSilver)\ **Post date:** [May 11, 2021, 8:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hammacher-schlemmer-the-pretentious-catalogue-that-goes-in-the-wastebin/941857/23 "2021-05-11T20:43:51Z")
> [@Riemann](#): > > That sounds like The Ology. Haven’t been to one of those in years. I’m exhausted just thinking about it. ---
**Author:** ![blabbermeister](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/e9a140/32.png) [@blabbermeister](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/blabbermeister)\ **Post date:** [May 11, 2021, 11:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hammacher-schlemmer-the-pretentious-catalogue-that-goes-in-the-wastebin/941857/24 "2021-05-11T23:29:58Z")
I sometimes read The catalog when I snag one from The recycling bin. They used to be fun but now I find them pathetic. I think HS purchased all the diabetic neuropathy and plantar fasciitis listings from the old Skymall catalogs you’d read on airplanes and the combination is a sad hybrid of overpriced medical supplies with the occasional talking dog statue thrown in. ---
**Author:** ![Monty](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/monty/32/47_2.png) [@Monty](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Monty)\ **Post date:** [May 12, 2021, 12:20am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hammacher-schlemmer-the-pretentious-catalogue-that-goes-in-the-wastebin/941857/25 "2021-05-12T00:20:35Z")
I cannot read that catalog’s title any other way than “Hammacher Schlammacher”, but perhaps I should be saying “The Hammacher Schlammacher”. ---
**Author:** ![Northern\_Piper](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/northern_piper/32/5304_2.png) [@Northern\_Piper](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Northern_Piper)\ **Post date:** [May 12, 2021, 12:32am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hammacher-schlemmer-the-pretentious-catalogue-that-goes-in-the-wastebin/941857/26 "2021-05-12T00:32:17Z")
That’s how I always pronounce it. ---
**Author:** ![Lamoral](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/lamoral/32/16078_2.png) [@Lamoral](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lamoral)\ **Post date:** [May 12, 2021, 12:36am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hammacher-schlemmer-the-pretentious-catalogue-that-goes-in-the-wastebin/941857/27 "2021-05-12T00:36:49Z")
I can’t speak to the quality of whatever their current catalog consists of, but I collect vintage magazines and catalogs, and I love Hammacher Schlemmer and Sharper Image catalogs from the 80s and early 90s. The images and copy are a blast to look at today in hindsight, at what was fairly advanced technology for the time (and described with breathless superlative puffery). I have around 5 each of Hammacher and Sharper Image catalogs from the mid-80s through 1993 or so, and several editions of a similar catalog called Herrington, which aped the style. I dearly love to read through these catalogs today. I grew up in the 90s and my parents were aspiring techno-geeks who loved to buy the products in them. ---
**Author:** ![SCAdian](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/scadian/32/3292_2.png) [@SCAdian](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SCAdian)\ **Post date:** [May 12, 2021, 12:44am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hammacher-schlemmer-the-pretentious-catalogue-that-goes-in-the-wastebin/941857/28 "2021-05-12T00:44:41Z")
_[Hammacher Schlemmer is selling a shelter](https://youtu.be/2dCUlS9U8Q0?t=29) Worthy of Kublai Khan’s Xanadu dome Plushy and swanky with posh hanky-panky That affluent Yankees can really call home_ – Yip Harburg ---
**Author:** ![JohnGalt](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/johngalt/32/184_2.png) [@JohnGalt](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/JohnGalt)\ **Post date:** [May 12, 2021, 1:52am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hammacher-schlemmer-the-pretentious-catalogue-that-goes-in-the-wastebin/941857/29 "2021-05-12T01:52:45Z")
Same here, except for the Lego catalogs we get on a regular basis. They’ve had some really cool kits (and some amazingly expensive ones too). How else would we find out about the Hummingbird Lego kit in [Lego Birds 21301](https://www.lego.com/en-us/product/birds-21301). ---
**Author:** ![susan](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/susan/32/17537_2.png) [@susan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/susan)\ **Post date:** [May 12, 2021, 3:06am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hammacher-schlemmer-the-pretentious-catalogue-that-goes-in-the-wastebin/941857/30 "2021-05-12T03:06:36Z")
My lovely wife is still using The Dawn Simulator Alarm Clock. Considering how frequently she knocks it off the nightstand, I rate it an excellent expenditure of The $50 15 years ago. ---
**Author:** ![Son\_of\_a\_Rich](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/son_of_a_rich/32/5439_2.png) [@Son\_of\_a\_Rich](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Son_of_a_Rich)\ **Post date:** [May 12, 2021, 4:03am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hammacher-schlemmer-the-pretentious-catalogue-that-goes-in-the-wastebin/941857/31 "2021-05-12T04:03:45Z")
It would be perfect for Raymond Scott compositions. ---
**Author:** ![Asuka](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/dec6dc/32.png) [@Asuka](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Asuka)\ **Post date:** [May 12, 2021, 4:19am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hammacher-schlemmer-the-pretentious-catalogue-that-goes-in-the-wastebin/941857/32 "2021-05-12T04:19:18Z")
What’s that one catalog that seems like it just deals with “As Seen ON TV” products like that Analog Clock that plays a different bird call every hour, but then there’s a random page in the middle that sells naked women playing cards and vibrators? Ill get a copy of it every 5 years or so in the mail randomly which is how I remember to look to find the dildo page again. ---
**Author:** ![Northern\_Piper](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/northern_piper/32/5304_2.png) [@Northern\_Piper](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Northern_Piper)\ **Post date:** [May 12, 2021, 4:33am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hammacher-schlemmer-the-pretentious-catalogue-that-goes-in-the-wastebin/941857/33 "2021-05-12T04:33:05Z")
That one I have never seen. It does not come to Chez Pipers. Unless Mrs Piper pitches it everytime it comes, dildo adverts and all, before it registers on my consciousness. ---
**Author:** ![Jackmannii](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jackmannii/32/311_2.png) [@Jackmannii](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jackmannii)\ **Post date:** [May 16, 2021, 3:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hammacher-schlemmer-the-pretentious-catalogue-that-goes-in-the-wastebin/941857/34 "2021-05-16T15:25:55Z")
I can’t see that working out. Hummingbirds are mean little territorial bastards; they’d probably dive bomb any birds attempting to access the seed portion of the feeder. ---
**Author:** ![squeegee](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/squeegee/32/14537_2.png) [@squeegee](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/squeegee)\ **Post date:** [May 16, 2021, 6:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hammacher-schlemmer-the-pretentious-catalogue-that-goes-in-the-wastebin/941857/35 "2021-05-16T18:26:02Z")
Of a piece with HS is Frontgate, where you can for example buy a cutting board for [$400](https://www.frontgate.com/personalized-black-walnut-butcher-board-with-monogram/tabletop-entertaining/cookware-tools/1301309?listIndex=0&uniqueId=1301309), a toaster for [$429](https://www.frontgate.com/wolf-gourmet-four-slice-toaster/tabletop-entertaining/appliances/806133?listIndex=6&uniqueId=806133), a dog bed for [~~$1099~~ On sale now for $879!!](https://www.frontgate.com/baleares-dog-bed/pet-home-care/pet/1462781?listIndex=0&uniqueId=1462781) ---
**Author:** ![erysichthon](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/d07c76/32.png) [@erysichthon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/erysichthon)\ **Post date:** [May 16, 2021, 6:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hammacher-schlemmer-the-pretentious-catalogue-that-goes-in-the-wastebin/941857/36 "2021-05-16T18:50:08Z")
I’m envious of you guys that get lots of catalogs in the mail. The only catalogs I get are from a company that sells holiday gift baskets, and that’s probably because I order from them at Christmas. I always found wacky catalogs like Hammacher Schlemmer and Archie McPhee to be entertaining and amusing, but I don’t get them anymore. I guess they gave up on me because I didn’t order stuff. One of my favorites was the Johnson Smith “Things You Never Knew Existed” catalog of overpriced, bizarro junk. I actually ordered something from that one years ago—the “radiometer” with the vanes that spin around in the sunlight. But they stopped sending the catalogs anyway! 🙁 ---
**Author:** ![Just\_Asking\_Questions](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/ba9def/32.png) [@Just\_Asking\_Questions](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Just_Asking_Questions)\ **Post date:** [May 16, 2021, 7:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hammacher-schlemmer-the-pretentious-catalogue-that-goes-in-the-wastebin/941857/37 "2021-05-16T19:06:13Z")
> [@Monty](#): > > I cannot read that catalog’s title any other way than “Hammacher Schlammacher” I have always called it “Hammer Schlammer.” Those extra letters are just waste. ---
**Author:** ![Spiderman](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/spiderman/32/230_2.png) [@Spiderman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Spiderman)\ **Post date:** [May 16, 2021, 7:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hammacher-schlemmer-the-pretentious-catalogue-that-goes-in-the-wastebin/941857/38 "2021-05-16T19:11:13Z")
Oh no, no, no! While certain catalogs immediately went into the recycle bin, the HS, Wireless, & camera porn aka [B&H](https://www.bhphotovideo.com) ( **Warning:** their persistent cookies mean you’ll see their ads on _at leas_t 80% of the websites you visit thereafter. I always open a separate, private browsing session to order something from them which is closed right after I’m done.) always immediately went to the little library. I’d spend countless hours perusing them while sitting in there. They’d only get tossed upon receiving their replacement. I’m sorry but that’s one thing that the modern intertubez has ruined. I just won’t pull out my phone to browse some website for stuff I’m not going to buy. Website catalogs have totally lost me as an impulse shopper. ---
**Author:** ![digs](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/digs/32/14889_2.png) [@digs](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/digs)\ **Post date:** [May 16, 2021, 7:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hammacher-schlemmer-the-pretentious-catalogue-that-goes-in-the-wastebin/941857/39 "2021-05-16T19:44:11Z")
My only contact with the catalog was a cartoon from the 70s. Looked very New Yorker, but google isn’t finding it. Anyhow… Puppy not playing with ball. Distraught couple. Man says: _“But it’s from Hammacher Schlemmer!”_ ---
**Author:** ![Jackmannii](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jackmannii/32/311_2.png) [@Jackmannii](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jackmannii)\ **Post date:** [May 16, 2021, 9:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hammacher-schlemmer-the-pretentious-catalogue-that-goes-in-the-wastebin/941857/40 "2021-05-16T21:49:17Z")
Dang, I haven’t gotten a B&H catalog in ever so long. It makes fabulous bathroom reading matter. Someday I’m going to get that 36 megapixel security camera with infrared capability and 200X zoom, to protect the $750K of recording studio equipment I’ll also be ordering. I just hope the truck will fit in my driveway… [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hammacher-schlemmer-the-pretentious-catalogue-that-goes-in-the-wastebin/941857.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hammacher-schlemmer-the-pretentious-catalogue-that-goes-in-the-wastebin/941857.md?page=3)