# Hamster Un-Dance **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [August 29, 2002, 2:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hamster-un-dance/126087 "2002-08-29T14:09:43Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![I\_can\_t\_believe\_that\_s\_butter](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/8edcca/32.png) [@I\_can\_t\_believe\_that\_s\_butter](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/I_can_t_believe_that_s_butter)\ **Post date:** [August 30, 2002, 5:31am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hamster-un-dance/126087/21 "2002-08-30T05:31:52Z")
The hamsters, indeed Like to cross-breed So, that is why Our posts sometimes die. Them I can’t blame; Their lives are quite tame. And, the service is free… Such ingrates are we. ---
**Author:** ![Wikkit](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/c0e974/32.png) [@Wikkit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Wikkit)\ **Post date:** [August 30, 2002, 6:00am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hamster-un-dance/126087/22 "2002-08-30T06:00:26Z")
Dang, I was hoping to get the Raven. And EN did end far too abruptly. How about a zinc haiku? Hamster named Hampster, Does his job very badly. Quit knawing zinc bars. Ok, not so much… ---
**Author:** ![december](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/838e76/32.png) [@december](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/december)\ **Post date:** [August 30, 2002, 12:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hamster-un-dance/126087/23 "2002-08-30T12:51:07Z")
She scored perfect eight hundreds on her College Board; This lady is quite the exam-ster. But, none of her brilliancies got to the board; They were all gobbled up by a hamster. ---
**Author:** ![matt\_mcl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/7ab992/32.png) [@matt\_mcl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/matt_mcl)\ **Post date:** [August 30, 2002, 12:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hamster-un-dance/126087/24 "2002-08-30T12:58:02Z")
Okay, I’m loving me some William Carlos Williams parody here. ---
**Author:** ![Cat\_Whisperer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cat_whisperer/32/4839_2.png) [@Cat\_Whisperer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cat_Whisperer)\ **Post date:** [August 30, 2002, 5:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hamster-un-dance/126087/25 "2002-08-30T17:58:48Z")
Are you enjoying both of them, **Matt**? You’d think after two years on the board I’d have learned not to hit submit twice when it seemed at post didn’t go through. (I was going to parody Margaret Atwood - maybe I’ll keep working on that.) ---
**Author:** ![Ethilrist](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ethilrist/32/4604_2.png) [@Ethilrist](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ethilrist)\ **Post date:** [August 30, 2002, 6:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hamster-un-dance/126087/26 "2002-08-30T18:30:53Z")
Every girl I go out with becomes my hamster in the end… Oh, every girl I go out with becomes my hamster in the end… I can hear my mother calling, but I don’t need her as a friend… every girl I go out with becomes my hamster in the end… ---
**Author:** ![december](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/838e76/32.png) [@december](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/december)\ **Post date:** [August 30, 2002, 7:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hamster-un-dance/126087/27 "2002-08-30T19:19:16Z")
REVENGE I mailed a hamster to my daugher Living on the other coast But, she never got the pet I bought her, The hamster was eaten by the post. ---
**Author:** ![The\_Ace\_of\_Swords](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/e495f1/32.png) [@The\_Ace\_of\_Swords](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_Ace_of_Swords)\ **Post date:** [August 30, 2002, 7:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hamster-un-dance/126087/28 "2002-08-30T19:57:30Z")
Twas the 'eve of Christ’s arrival I’d unwrapped a retroviral attending to my hosts revival Amazed by the shocking scene of Hamsters on my Bowflex machine Tiny rodents, pumped and oiled Drop power-lifts and straight-arm coils “Our problems posting soon be foiled!” I shouted, as the wheels begain to spin, into the fury’d din of our furry seraphim, Indeed! Our posts grew ever faster, But our blessing turned to disaster Swift the hamsters became OUR master So, dear reader: From my newfound cycling position Let me caution your condition Complain not in times of weal It might be YOU next on the wheel. ---
**Author:** ![detop](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/bcef8e/32.png) [@detop](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/detop)\ **Post date:** [August 31, 2002, 2:25am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hamster-un-dance/126087/29 "2002-08-31T02:25:07Z")
_ **Charge of the Teeming Millions** _ Half a thread, half a thread Half a thread onward, All in the Server of Death Posted the twenty thousand. "Forward, the Teeming Millions !” “Charge for the troll !” he said: Into the Server of Death Posted the twenty thousand. "Forward, the Teeming Millions !” Was there a member dismay’d? Not tho’ the poster knew Someone had blunder’d: Their’s not to make replies, Their’s not to reason with, Their’s but to do and writhe : Into the Server of Death Posted the twenty thousand. Hamsters to right of them, Hamsters to left of them, Hamsters behind them Squeek’d and nibbl’d; Storm’d at with pellets and smell, Boldly they posted and well, Into the Thread of Death, Into the Forum of Hell Posted the twenty thousand. Flash’d all their ideas bare, Flash’d as they debat’d with air, Scolding the sinners there, Charging an arm, while All the board wonder’d: Plunged in the debate smoke Right thro’ the argument they broke; Trolls and Socks Reel’d from the argument stroke Shatter’d and sunder’d. Then they posted back, but not Not the twenty thousand. Hamsters to right of them, Hamsters to left of them, Hamsters behind them Squeek’d and nibbl’d; Storm’d at with pellets and smell, While poster and lurker fell, They that had tought so well Came thro’ the Thread of Death Back from the Forum of Hell, All that was left of them, Left of twenty thousand. When can their glory fade? O the wild charge they made! All the Board wondered. Honor the charge they made, Honor the Teeming Millions, Noble twenty thousand. ---
**Author:** ![dreamer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/6bbea6/32.png) [@dreamer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dreamer)\ **Post date:** [August 31, 2002, 5:09am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hamster-un-dance/126087/30 "2002-08-31T05:09:44Z")
Oh little Hammie, I think it’s time you hide all these dopers are after you, they’re after you in stride they give you time and time again, their trust and then they boast but all you do is let them down and swallow all their posts ::prays for Hammie:: 😃 ---
**Author:** ![dreamer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/6bbea6/32.png) [@dreamer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dreamer)\ **Post date:** [August 31, 2002, 5:11am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hamster-un-dance/126087/31 "2002-08-31T05:11:56Z")
:smack: that is supposed to read ~prays for Hammie~ ---
**Author:** ![iampunha](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/74df32/32.png) [@iampunha](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/iampunha)\ **Post date:** [August 31, 2002, 5:47am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hamster-un-dance/126087/32 "2002-08-31T05:47:00Z")
Some of you need hobbies:D ---
**Author:** ![Dragwyr](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dragwyr/32/2855_2.png) [@Dragwyr](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dragwyr)\ **Post date:** [August 31, 2002, 4:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hamster-un-dance/126087/33 "2002-08-31T16:37:17Z")
You’re the “Slim Hampster”, Yes you’re the real Hampster. You are a chatter master that sounds like Meredith Baxter. So won’t the real "Slim Hampster, please shut up. Please shut up. Please shut up. (I make absolutely NO apologies to eminem for this. Heh!) ---
**Author:** ![apotheosis](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ba8739/32.png) [@apotheosis](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/apotheosis)\ **Post date:** [August 31, 2002, 6:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hamster-un-dance/126087/34 "2002-08-31T18:02:50Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by iampunha \* > \*\*Some of you need hobbies:D \*\* This doesn’t count? 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![kambuckta](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/53a042/32.png) [@kambuckta](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kambuckta)\ **Post date:** [September 1, 2002, 2:01am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hamster-un-dance/126087/35 "2002-09-01T02:01:00Z")
I had written out a letter which I had, for want of better Knowledge, posted on the M Board as I knew it months ago. It was speedy when I knew it, so I trusted it to do it Just as fast and as efficient, but the hamsters, they said NO. So I pressed another button, and I sat there strangely mutt’ring How I’d like to screw the hamsters as they’d screwed _me_ over raw. Send them off to hades squawkin’, for to pay for them abortin’ All my witty, clever postings that the MB never saw. (Humble apologies to Banjo Patterson for desecrating ‘Clancy of the Overflow’.) ---
**Author:** ![december](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/838e76/32.png) [@december](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/december)\ **Post date:** [September 1, 2002, 2:30am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hamster-un-dance/126087/36 "2002-09-01T02:30:11Z")
**Song of the Volga Hamsters** _(Very Slow)_ Yo, heave ho! Yo, heave ho! Slowly push the post along. Yo, heave ho. ---
**Author:** ![istara](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/e79b87/32.png) [@istara](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/istara)\ **Post date:** [September 1, 2002, 12:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hamster-un-dance/126087/37 "2002-09-01T12:08:28Z")
Wow - I forget about this thread for a couple of days and it is filled with **brushes back tears** some of the most moving, beautiful cyber-rodent poetry ever unleashed on the world! Thank you all so much for joining in my lamentation - if this doesn’t kick-start the furry little fukkas, nothing will. ---
**Author:** ![Princhester](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/3e96dc/32.png) [@Princhester](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Princhester)\ **Post date:** [September 2, 2002, 5:10am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hamster-un-dance/126087/38 "2002-09-02T05:10:42Z")
Waiting. Communication stilted, Hamsters. ---
**Author:** ![Rysdad](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/7cd45c/32.png) [@Rysdad](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rysdad)\ **Post date:** [September 2, 2002, 2:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hamster-un-dance/126087/39 "2002-09-02T14:39:22Z")
I think that I shall never see, My post here on SDMB, 'Cause hampsters in voracious quest, Did my posting full ingest. The hampsters run on rusted wheels, And of my posts they make their meals. Bloated now they all must be, From eating postings constantly. Scraps of words lay at their feet; They even eat those writ in l33t. There’s other boards, yea, verily, But only hampsters charge no fee. ---
**Author:** ![whitetho](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/whitetho/32/1059_2.png) [@whitetho](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/whitetho)\ **Post date:** [September 2, 2002, 4:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hamster-un-dance/126087/40 "2002-09-02T16:26:33Z")
Hamster is a hamster is a hamster is a hamster. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hamster-un-dance/126087.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hamster-un-dance/126087.md?page=3)