# Happy 6009th birthday Earth! **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [October 23, 2006, 8:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/happy-6009th-birthday-earth/377612 "2006-10-23T20:22:33Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 16\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Dunderman](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/ecb155/32.png) [@Dunderman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dunderman)\ **Post date:** [October 23, 2006, 8:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/happy-6009th-birthday-earth/377612/1 "2006-10-23T20:22:33Z")
James Ussher, archbishop of Armagh, revealed to us Earth’s birthday. As Earth turns 6009, it behooves us to celebrate it in a manner befitting its grandeur. So, what are you doing to honour this simple planet without which we would all float free? ---
**Author:** ![lieu](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/c2a13f/32.png) [@lieu](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lieu)\ **Post date:** [October 23, 2006, 8:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/happy-6009th-birthday-earth/377612/2 "2006-10-23T20:31:09Z")
Looking for something it’ll appreciate, like an itty bitty carbon footprint. ---
**Author:** ![Ethilrist](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ethilrist/32/4604_2.png) [@Ethilrist](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ethilrist)\ **Post date:** [October 23, 2006, 8:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/happy-6009th-birthday-earth/377612/3 "2006-10-23T20:38:24Z")
w00t! palindromic birthday, if you look at it upside down and backwards. ---
**Author:** ![alphaboi867](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/alphaboi867/32/3898_2.png) [@alphaboi867](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/alphaboi867)\ **Post date:** [October 23, 2006, 8:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/happy-6009th-birthday-earth/377612/4 "2006-10-23T20:38:31Z")
Let us take a moment to pray for the souls of the heretics who insist the Earth is a ball and that _it_ revolves around the Sun. ---
**Author:** ![mamboman](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/ecb155/32.png) [@mamboman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/mamboman)\ **Post date:** [October 23, 2006, 8:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/happy-6009th-birthday-earth/377612/5 "2006-10-23T20:42:23Z")
I dunno. What’s it done for me lately? mm ---
**Author:** ![The\_Chao\_Goes\_Mu](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/the_chao_goes_mu/32/3191_2.png) [@The\_Chao\_Goes\_Mu](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_Chao_Goes_Mu)\ **Post date:** [October 23, 2006, 8:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/happy-6009th-birthday-earth/377612/6 "2006-10-23T20:45:58Z")
I, personally, am going to pour myself a glass of Merlot, put on a little Beethoven, probably the 9th Symphony, strip off my clothes, and take a steaming shit on a stack of books in support of “creationism.” ---
**Author:** ![Malacandra](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/45deac/32.png) [@Malacandra](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Malacandra)\ **Post date:** [October 23, 2006, 8:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/happy-6009th-birthday-earth/377612/7 "2006-10-23T20:59:11Z")
[QUOTE=The Chao Goes Mu] I, personally, am going to pour myself a glass of Merlot, put on a little Beethoven, probably the 9th Symphony, strip off my clothes, and take a steaming shit on a stack of books in support of “creationism.” [/QUOTE] Why will taking a steaming shit on a stack of books demonstrate support for creationism, and why would you want to given the sentiments expressed in your signature? 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Hal\_Briston](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/a9a28c/32.png) [@Hal\_Briston](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hal_Briston)\ **Post date:** [October 23, 2006, 9:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/happy-6009th-birthday-earth/377612/8 "2006-10-23T21:58:47Z")
Well I gotta say, it sure looks great for its age! Although I have to think there may be a wee bit of fibbing involved. ---
**Author:** ![Merhouse](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/b5a626/32.png) [@Merhouse](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Merhouse)\ **Post date:** [October 23, 2006, 10:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/happy-6009th-birthday-earth/377612/9 "2006-10-23T22:04:56Z")
[QUOTE=Hal Briston] Well I gotta say, it sure looks great for its age! Although I have to think there may be a wee bit of fibbing involved. [/QUOTE] Rumor is, it’s had a lot of work done. ---
**Author:** ![Marley23](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/45deac/32.png) [@Marley23](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Marley23)\ **Post date:** [October 23, 2006, 11:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/happy-6009th-birthday-earth/377612/10 "2006-10-23T23:20:19Z")
Let there be partying! ---
**Author:** ![The\_Chao\_Goes\_Mu](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/the_chao_goes_mu/32/3191_2.png) [@The\_Chao\_Goes\_Mu](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_Chao_Goes_Mu)\ **Post date:** [October 25, 2006, 10:43am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/happy-6009th-birthday-earth/377612/11 "2006-10-25T10:43:33Z")
[QUOTE=Malacandra] Why will taking a steaming shit on a stack of books demonstrate support for creationism, and why would you want to given the sentiments expressed in your signature? 😃 [/QUOTE] Uhhhhhh…Embrace Ambiguity!!! and stuff. 😉 ---
**Author:** ![Nava](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/da6949/32.png) [@Nava](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Nava)\ **Post date:** [October 25, 2006, 10:47am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/happy-6009th-birthday-earth/377612/12 "2006-10-25T10:47:49Z")
[QUOTE=alphaboi867] Let us take a moment to pray for the souls of the heretics who insist the Earth is a ball and that _it_ revolves around the Sun. [/QUOTE] Actually, the whole thing is not that “the earth revolves around the sun”, it’s “calculations are much easier if we assume that the earth and other planets revolve around the sun following eliptical orbits than if we assume that the sun and planets revolve around the earth following circular orbits compounded to suborbits as many times as required”. After all, we could as well do the whole thing assuming square orbits around Alpha Centauri, but it would be a bitch. As my college Physics liked to say “we’re engineers 'cause we know how to change the frame of reference to make calculations easier.” ---
**Author:** ![Mindfield](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mindfield/32/19759_2.png) [@Mindfield](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mindfield)\ **Post date:** [October 25, 2006, 11:04am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/happy-6009th-birthday-earth/377612/13 "2006-10-25T11:04:48Z")
Me, I’m gonna go round up a few Ardipithecus buddies of mine and go drink our sloped foreheads off. ---
**Author:** ![scareyfaerie](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/scareyfaerie/32/3135_2.png) [@scareyfaerie](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/scareyfaerie)\ **Post date:** [October 25, 2006, 11:14am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/happy-6009th-birthday-earth/377612/14 "2006-10-25T11:14:03Z")
Jelly and ice-cream of course, it’s a party, right? ---
**Author:** ![Crotalus](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/crotalus/32/41_2.png) [@Crotalus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Crotalus)\ **Post date:** [October 25, 2006, 11:57am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/happy-6009th-birthday-earth/377612/15 "2006-10-25T11:57:10Z")
I can’t put my finger on what it is, but to me it looks much, much older. ---
**Author:** ![Cluricaun](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/bb73d2/32.png) [@Cluricaun](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cluricaun)\ **Post date:** [October 25, 2006, 12:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/happy-6009th-birthday-earth/377612/16 "2006-10-25T12:36:14Z")
[QUOTE=Crotalus] I can’t put my finger on what it is, but to me it looks much, much older. [/QUOTE] It’s Death Valley. Lack of proper moisturizing leads to premature aging.