# Happy anniversary, happy anniversary, happy anniversary. . **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [October 3, 2020, 8:03am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/happy-anniversary-happy-anniversary-happy-anniversary/922096 "2020-10-03T08:03:31Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 19\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Face\_Intentionally\_Left\_Blank](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/face_intentionally_left_blank/32/288_2.png) [@Face\_Intentionally\_Left\_Blank](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Face_Intentionally_Left_Blank)\ **Post date:** [October 3, 2020, 8:03am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/happy-anniversary-happy-anniversary-happy-anniversary/922096/1 "2020-10-03T08:03:31Z")
[HAAAA-PY ANNIVERSARY!](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BKSkBsnfkFA) **(TMI warning)** It’s my stoma’s 2nd anniversary today! I’ll have to get some gluten-free cake to celebrate! It’s been a great improvement. It’s amazing how much better you feel when you cut out five or six feet of diseased tissue. I’ve got a big old hernia there though, so I have a lopsided belly. They won’t fix it unless there’s a problem, so I live with the lopsided belly and wait for the day I suddenly have a great deal of pain. Then there will be a lot of dicking around for a couple days while I’m in a great deal of pain, THEN they fix it. I wish that weren’t the case, but otherwise, I’ve been pretty happy with how much better I feel now. On the 12th, I’m going back in to finish the other part of the job: a proctectomy, where they remove the last part of my rectum/colon and sew my butt up. Those of us in the ostomy community jokingly refer to it as “Ken-butt” or “Barbie-butt” surgery, because we have silly names for everything. Removing the rectum is pretty involved. A lot of things connect to other things, and they have to be careful not to cut things they shouldn’t. It’s a robot-assisted surgery, so that sounds kinda neat and space-age-y. Too bad I won’t be able to fully appreciate that, as I’ll be asleep. Hope they gork me up pretty good for a few days. Not looking forward to the aftermath, as it will take a couple months to heal. I’m very fond of that area, as I find it useful for sitting upon. I’ve tried sitting [Mork-from-Ork-style](https://i.imgur.com/a1ZLpZR.jpg), but I have to rotate my monitor and it’s difficult to touch-type that way. I won’t be able to sit while I’m healing, and I’m not real good at standing anymore, so that leaves lying down. Ever notice how most everything we do is geared for sitting or standing? Bah. Oh well, when I get through this, I’ll be even better than I am now. Just one more bad month or two and I’ll be rid of the last of my damned colon. I just wish I’d been able to do all of this a decade ago. HAAAA-PY ANNIVERSARY! ---
**Author:** ![not\_what\_you\_d\_expect](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/not_what_you_d_expect/32/3246_2.png) [@not\_what\_you\_d\_expect](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/not_what_you_d_expect)\ **Post date:** [October 3, 2020, 2:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/happy-anniversary-happy-anniversary-happy-anniversary/922096/2 "2020-10-03T14:04:20Z")
Oh my goodness. That all sounds horrible. :shivers: Wishing you the very best outcome. ---
**Author:** ![VOW](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/vow/32/3043_2.png) [@VOW](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/VOW)\ **Post date:** [October 3, 2020, 4:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/happy-anniversary-happy-anniversary-happy-anniversary/922096/3 "2020-10-03T16:19:05Z")
You’ve had a long, hard, miserable ride so far. I’m glad for you that things are improving! My best wishes for an excellent recovery! ~VOW ---
**Author:** ![kayT](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kayt/32/3633_2.png) [@kayT](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kayT)\ **Post date:** [October 3, 2020, 4:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/happy-anniversary-happy-anniversary-happy-anniversary/922096/4 "2020-10-03T16:44:01Z")
A relative of mine had all these procedures done and says his life is the best it has ever been and, like you OP, wishes he’d done it many years ago. He’s working two jobs right now and up til the surgery he could never hold even one job due to too many “sick days”. So good for you getting it all done and feel better soon! ---
**Author:** ![Face\_Intentionally\_Left\_Blank](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/face_intentionally_left_blank/32/288_2.png) [@Face\_Intentionally\_Left\_Blank](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Face_Intentionally_Left_Blank)\ **Post date:** [October 3, 2020, 9:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/happy-anniversary-happy-anniversary-happy-anniversary/922096/5 "2020-10-03T21:28:59Z")
I think doctors are a bit too hesitant to do this procedure. I understand that they don’t want to rush to do a major operation like this, but I’ve heard it too many times: “I wish I’d had this done years ago.” If you listen to everyone saying that, it means a whole lot of people are having difficult and painful lives for years longer than they need to. I’m trying to sort out how long I can be in rehab before they stop my SSI payments. It’s commonly said that it’s 30 days, but [I’ve found it can be extended to as long as 90 days.](https://www.ssa.gov/ssi/spotlights/spot-temp-institution.htm) It would be nice to have a little more time, in case I need more than 30 days to heal. Thanks for the well-wishes. ---
**Author:** ![Die\_Capacitrix](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/die_capacitrix/32/9_2.png) [@Die\_Capacitrix](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Die_Capacitrix)\ **Post date:** [October 4, 2020, 1:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/happy-anniversary-happy-anniversary-happy-anniversary/922096/6 "2020-10-04T13:25:19Z")
Good luck with the surgery and I hope that everything goes as smooth as possible. ---
**Author:** ![Beckdawrek](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/beckdawrek/32/3647_2.png) [@Beckdawrek](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Beckdawrek)\ **Post date:** [October 4, 2020, 11:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/happy-anniversary-happy-anniversary-happy-anniversary/922096/7 "2020-10-04T23:03:23Z")
Ditto. Good luck ---
**Author:** ![Mama\_Zappa](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/71e660/32.png) [@Mama\_Zappa](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mama_Zappa)\ **Post date:** [October 5, 2020, 11:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/happy-anniversary-happy-anniversary-happy-anniversary/922096/8 "2020-10-05T23:01:13Z")
Good luck!! And just think of all the “asshole” jokes you can now counter. Like when someone calls you one, and you can counter with “I am NOT - and I can PROVE it!”. ---
**Author:** ![Face\_Intentionally\_Left\_Blank](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/face_intentionally_left_blank/32/288_2.png) [@Face\_Intentionally\_Left\_Blank](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Face_Intentionally_Left_Blank)\ **Post date:** [October 6, 2020, 5:35am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/happy-anniversary-happy-anniversary-happy-anniversary/922096/9 "2020-10-06T05:35:17Z")
Eeeyah, they’ll just say I don’t HAVE one because I AM one. 🙂 Just found out that Nashville (where I’m getting operated on) is currently one of the hottest places for COVID. Just my luck. Really hoped I’d get in there in the slack period between the first wave and the impending winter wave. ---
**Author:** ![nelliebly](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/nelliebly/32/5422_2.png) [@nelliebly](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/nelliebly)\ **Post date:** [October 6, 2020, 6:11am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/happy-anniversary-happy-anniversary-happy-anniversary/922096/10 "2020-10-06T06:11:00Z")
I salute your attitude. Good luck with the surgery, and may your recovery be swift! How long will they keep you in the hospital? ---
**Author:** ![Face\_Intentionally\_Left\_Blank](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/face_intentionally_left_blank/32/288_2.png) [@Face\_Intentionally\_Left\_Blank](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Face_Intentionally_Left_Blank)\ **Post date:** [October 6, 2020, 6:48am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/happy-anniversary-happy-anniversary-happy-anniversary/922096/11 "2020-10-06T06:48:33Z")
I figure I’ll be in the hospital for 3-4 days. After that, I’ll be spending some time in a nursing home for rehab. Don’t know how long. It would be nice if it were 30 days or less, but it depends on how I heal and how much/often I need bandages and packing changed. I can’t pack a wound back there, and I don’t have anyone at home to help me with it, so I’ll need home-care visits. I don’t think medicaid is very generous with that. I have to call SSI this week. They’re supposed to call me back, but I don’t think I’ll wait for that. If you’re on SSI and Medicaid, if you spend more than 30 days in rehab, they stop giving you your SSI. I believe there is a way to get that extended to 90 days, and I’m going to try to do that and get some breathing room in case I need more time to heal. I need my SSI to have an apartment to come back to. ---
**Author:** ![nelliebly](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/nelliebly/32/5422_2.png) [@nelliebly](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/nelliebly)\ **Post date:** [October 6, 2020, 4:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/happy-anniversary-happy-anniversary-happy-anniversary/922096/12 "2020-10-06T16:01:37Z")
Wow, the hassles trying to get the after-care you’ll need sound pretty trying. If only the U.S. had–oh, wait, not supposed to talk politics here. I hope the paperwork goes smoothly ---
**Author:** ![Mama\_Zappa](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/71e660/32.png) [@Mama\_Zappa](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mama_Zappa)\ **Post date:** [October 6, 2020, 5:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/happy-anniversary-happy-anniversary-happy-anniversary/922096/13 "2020-10-06T17:44:10Z")
> [@Face\_Intentionally\_Left\_Blank](#): > > I won’t be able to sit while I’m healing, and I’m not real good at standing anymore, so that leaves lying down. Ever notice how most everything we do is geared for sitting or standing? Bah. Oooh - this reminds me of how I managed for several weeks after my first kid was born. Not quite the same injury - but I had pretty bad tearing which did partially extend into “that” area, enough so that sitting upright was nearly impossible (the ride home from the hospital was not fun). I had an upholstered “easy chair” - fairly similar-looking to [this one](https://www.stickley.com/furniture/living-room-furniture/chairs/oberlin-easy-chair/) - and for 2 weeks, if I was not lying down, I was sitting crossways in that - back supported on one arm, legs draped over the other. It wasn’t super-relaxing - I mean, I had to support my head - but it was “upright” enough that I could rest a plate of food on my belly to eat. I don’t know if that would be enough to take the pressure off of your surgical area, but figured I’d mention it in case you think it would work and you’re able to source an inexpensive chair. ---
**Author:** ![Face\_Intentionally\_Left\_Blank](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/face_intentionally_left_blank/32/288_2.png) [@Face\_Intentionally\_Left\_Blank](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Face_Intentionally_Left_Blank)\ **Post date:** [October 12, 2020, 4:06am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/happy-anniversary-happy-anniversary-happy-anniversary/922096/14 "2020-10-12T04:06:33Z")
Well, the time is nearly here. I’m going in early in the morning. I think I sorted out the SSI issue. I should be able to stay up to 90 days without losing my SSI payments and my apartment. I’m not looking forward to another operation and more time in a nursing home. If I don’t do it though, I’ll probably need more operations every year or two anyway, and this way, if all goes well, my health will improve as well. ---
**Author:** ![needscoffee](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/needscoffee/32/1076_2.png) [@needscoffee](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/needscoffee)\ **Post date:** [October 12, 2020, 4:13am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/happy-anniversary-happy-anniversary-happy-anniversary/922096/15 "2020-10-12T04:13:35Z")
Here’s to a swift recovery! ---
**Author:** ![Happy\_Lendervedder](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/happy_lendervedder/32/8488_2.png) [@Happy\_Lendervedder](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Happy_Lendervedder)\ **Post date:** [October 12, 2020, 4:21am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/happy-anniversary-happy-anniversary-happy-anniversary/922096/16 "2020-10-12T04:21:35Z")
I wish you all the best in the surgery and recovery. Sounds like it’s going to be a difficult few months. But may your Ken ass bring you many years of happiness! Does this help or hurt your chances for ass modeling? ---
**Author:** ![Face\_Intentionally\_Left\_Blank](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/face_intentionally_left_blank/32/288_2.png) [@Face\_Intentionally\_Left\_Blank](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Face_Intentionally_Left_Blank)\ **Post date:** [October 13, 2020, 12:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/happy-anniversary-happy-anniversary-happy-anniversary/922096/17 "2020-10-13T12:52:18Z")
I’m still here. I got out of surgery at 3:30 PM yesterday and was in surgery for almost eight hours. I slept most of the time between then and now. Everyone is very happy with how things went, and the nurses couldn’t be nicer. Don’t like typing on these tablets, and my vision"s bad from the lidocaine, so that"s all the update for now. It must have taken me a half hour to write this, but I have to pass the time anyway. ---
**Author:** ![not\_what\_you\_d\_expect](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/not_what_you_d_expect/32/3246_2.png) [@not\_what\_you\_d\_expect](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/not_what_you_d_expect)\ **Post date:** [October 13, 2020, 12:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/happy-anniversary-happy-anniversary-happy-anniversary/922096/18 "2020-10-13T12:54:44Z")
Oh I’m glad for the update. Get well quick. ---
**Author:** ![kayT](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kayt/32/3633_2.png) [@kayT](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kayT)\ **Post date:** [October 13, 2020, 2:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/happy-anniversary-happy-anniversary-happy-anniversary/922096/19 "2020-10-13T14:34:17Z")
Thanks for letting us know. I’m glad it went well and I hope your recovery does as well. Will be thinking of you.