# Happy (Jewish) New Year! **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [October 3, 2005, 8:01am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/happy-jewish-new-year/324544 "2005-10-03T08:01:28Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Noone\_Special](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/noone_special/32/2863_2.png) [@Noone\_Special](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Noone_Special)\ **Post date:** [October 3, 2005, 8:01am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/happy-jewish-new-year/324544/1 "2005-10-03T08:01:28Z")
Tonight (Monday oct. 3) is Rosh HaShana – the Jewish New Year. I would like to take this opportunity to wish a year of peace, success and prosperity to all the Jewish Dopers, as well as to all those Dopers not fortunate enough to have been born Jewish ;j _Shana Tova!_ לשנה טובה תכתבו ותחתמו (And also – _Blessed Ramadan_ to all Muslim Dopers) Dani ---
**Author:** ![QuickSilver](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/quicksilver/32/7832_2.png) [@QuickSilver](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/QuickSilver)\ **Post date:** [October 3, 2005, 12:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/happy-jewish-new-year/324544/2 "2005-10-03T12:45:48Z")
Oy to the world! Shalom. ;j ---
**Author:** ![marque\_elf](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/71c47a/32.png) [@marque\_elf](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/marque_elf)\ **Post date:** [October 3, 2005, 2:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/happy-jewish-new-year/324544/3 "2005-10-03T14:42:39Z")
May you all be inscribed in the Book of Life for another year. ;j ---
**Author:** ![Anne\_Neville](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/b9e5f3/32.png) [@Anne\_Neville](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Anne_Neville)\ **Post date:** [October 3, 2005, 8:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/happy-jewish-new-year/324544/4 "2005-10-03T20:41:53Z")
Shanah Tovah! ;j ---
**Author:** ![Good\_Egg](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/96bed5/32.png) [@Good\_Egg](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Good_Egg)\ **Post date:** [October 3, 2005, 8:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/happy-jewish-new-year/324544/5 "2005-10-03T20:55:22Z")
La Chayam! ---
**Author:** ![Plynck](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/3e96dc/32.png) [@Plynck](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Plynck)\ **Post date:** [October 3, 2005, 9:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/happy-jewish-new-year/324544/6 "2005-10-03T21:15:29Z")
A Jewish girl tells her Catholic college roommate that she’s going home for Rosh Hashanah. The Catholic girl asks the Jewish girl, “Is that the holiday when you light the eight candles?” “No,” the Jewish girl replies. “That’s Hanukah.” The Catholic girl then asks the Jewish girl, “Is that the holiday when you eat the unleavened bread?” “No,” the Jewish girl replies. “That’s Passover. Rosh Hashanah is the holiday when we blow the shofar.” “See,” the Catholic Girl replies. “That’s what I like about you Jews…you’re so good to your help.” * * * L’chaim and Sholom. ---
**Author:** ![Tamryne](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/3e96dc/32.png) [@Tamryne](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tamryne)\ **Post date:** [October 3, 2005, 9:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/happy-jewish-new-year/324544/7 "2005-10-03T21:53:02Z")
Shanah Tovah everyone! ---
**Author:** ![Anaamika](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/5f9b8f/32.png) [@Anaamika](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Anaamika)\ **Post date:** [October 3, 2005, 9:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/happy-jewish-new-year/324544/8 "2005-10-03T21:54:55Z")
Happy New Year! (A chance to use the Happy Jewish Man smiley? How could I pass it up?) ;j ---
**Author:** ![QuickSilver](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/quicksilver/32/7832_2.png) [@QuickSilver](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/QuickSilver)\ **Post date:** [October 3, 2005, 10:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/happy-jewish-new-year/324544/9 "2005-10-03T22:11:35Z")
> [@Anaamika](#): > > Happy New Year! (A chance to use the Happy Jewish Man smiley? How could I pass it up?) ;j I assign **Anaamika** to be the official _shabbis goy_. 🙂 Revenge for the pirate ship thread… 😛 ---
**Author:** ![QuickSilver](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/quicksilver/32/7832_2.png) [@QuickSilver](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/QuickSilver)\ **Post date:** [October 3, 2005, 10:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/happy-jewish-new-year/324544/10 "2005-10-03T22:13:37Z")
Def: \*\*Shabbos Goy \*\* - A non-Jew who does work on Sabbath that a Jew cannot do. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Noone\_Special](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/noone_special/32/2863_2.png) [@Noone\_Special](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Noone_Special)\ **Post date:** [October 4, 2005, 6:24am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/happy-jewish-new-year/324544/11 "2005-10-04T06:24:28Z")
> [@QuickSilver](#): > > I assign **Anaamika** to be the official _shabbis goy_. 🙂 _Shabbes **Shikse** _, please! 😃 Last I heard, **mika** was very definitely female 🙂 And **Anaamika** – when’s your (Hindi) new year? ---
**Author:** ![MsRobyn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/90ced4/32.png) [@MsRobyn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MsRobyn)\ **Post date:** [October 4, 2005, 11:11am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/happy-jewish-new-year/324544/12 "2005-10-04T11:11:12Z")
Thanks! Unfortunately, I can’t do much to observe it this year. I’ve got a major paper due and since Rosh Hashanah and Yom Kippur fall on Tuesday and Thursday, I can’t skip the same classes twice. ☹ Robin ---
**Author:** ![Revtim](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/revtim/32/1042_2.png) [@Revtim](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Revtim)\ **Post date:** [October 4, 2005, 1:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/happy-jewish-new-year/324544/13 "2005-10-04T13:10:50Z")
Dang it, I just wrote a check and still put 5765 as the year… ---
**Author:** ![Anaamika](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/5f9b8f/32.png) [@Anaamika](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Anaamika)\ **Post date:** [October 4, 2005, 2:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/happy-jewish-new-year/324544/14 "2005-10-04T14:09:37Z")
> [@QuickSilver](#): > > I assign **Anaamika** to be the official _shabbis goy_. 🙂 > > Revenge for the pirate ship thread… 😛 > [@Quicksilver](#): > > Def: Shabbos Goy - A non-Jew who does work on Sabbath that a Jew cannot do. > [@Noone Special\[/quote](#): > > Shabbes Shikse, please! > Last I heard, mika was very definitely female > > And Anaamika – when’s your (Hindi) new year? I am most definitely female, and \*\*Quickie \*\* most definitely knows it. After all, he was a concubine on my all-female pirate ship. **Quickie** , thanks for translating, I would not have known what it meant. And, I gladly accept, provided it’s not a joke. _bows deeply_ **Noone Special** , \*\*Diwali \*\* (festival of lights) is coming up next month, which is the biggest holiday of our year, and our New Year, as well. ---
**Author:** ![Noone\_Special](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/noone_special/32/2863_2.png) [@Noone\_Special](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Noone_Special)\ **Post date:** [October 4, 2005, 2:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/happy-jewish-new-year/324544/15 "2005-10-04T14:23:27Z")
> [@Anaamika](#): > > I am most definitely female, and \*\*Quickie \*\* most definitely knows it. After all, he was a concubine on my all-female pirate ship. Hey, how did I miss out on _that_ job application!? :smack: :mad: > [@](#): > > **Quickie** , thanks for translating, I would not have known what it meant. And, I gladly accept, provided it’s not a joke. _bows deeply_ I can assure you, it wasn’t a joke – A _Shabbes Goy_ is hired help with observant Jewish households whose job it is to do various things (like turn lights on and off) that are forbidden to observant Jews on the Sabbath. My own interjection, however, **was** a joke – a _Shikseh_ is what a Jewish Mother calls a _Goya_ (a gentile (non-Jewish) woman) when her son is going out with her… :eek: > [@](#): > > **Noone Special** , \*\*Diwali \*\* (festival of lights) is coming up next month, which is the biggest holiday of our year, and our New Year, as well. Cool… kind of early, however, no? Aren’t most of the Light Festivals all clustered around the Winter Solstice? ---
**Author:** ![asterion](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/4da419/32.png) [@asterion](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/asterion)\ **Post date:** [October 4, 2005, 2:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/happy-jewish-new-year/324544/16 "2005-10-04T14:26:48Z")
Happy Jewish New Year to you guys. Or, as Biff put it, Happy Newish Jew Year. ---
**Author:** ![Anaamika](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/5f9b8f/32.png) [@Anaamika](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Anaamika)\ **Post date:** [October 4, 2005, 2:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/happy-jewish-new-year/324544/17 "2005-10-04T14:30:10Z")
Ok, so what do you guys need me to do? Turn lights on and off? Just remember, I’m not all that reliable, and I’d rather play instead. Let’s see…maybe I could turn on the wrong light every time? In regards to Diwali: :rolleyes: Just because all the \*other \* light festivals… 😃 Seriously, it doesn’t have much to do with the Winter Solstice, at least I don’t think so. Diwali is the epic day when Rama returns, having defeated Ravana in the jungle and restored order to Ayodha & Sri Lanka. We light every light in the house to a) guide him home b) Guide the Goddess Lakshmi, the Goddess of Wealth, into our home. Diwali is the 1st of November, so anyone who is waiting for a winning Lotto ticket, that is the day to leave a light burning all night. As for the pirate ship, your own bloody fault…it was on the boards and went to 5 pages, as I recall! ---
**Author:** ![Beware\_of\_Doug](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/278dde/32.png) [@Beware\_of\_Doug](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Beware_of_Doug)\ **Post date:** [October 4, 2005, 2:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/happy-jewish-new-year/324544/18 "2005-10-04T14:30:47Z")
There’s also such a thing as a _shegetz_, which is a non-J boy going with a J girl. At least there used to be. I was one myself once. ---
**Author:** ![Malacandra](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/45deac/32.png) [@Malacandra](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Malacandra)\ **Post date:** [October 4, 2005, 2:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/happy-jewish-new-year/324544/19 "2005-10-04T14:36:02Z")
> [@Anaamika](#): > > Ok, so what do you guys need me to do? Turn lights on and off? Just remember, I’m not all that reliable, and I’d rather play instead. Let’s see…maybe I could turn on the wrong light every time? > > In regards to Diwali: > > :rolleyes: Just because all the \*other \* light festivals… 😃 > > Seriously, it doesn’t have much to do with the Winter Solstice, at least I don’t think so. Diwali is the epic day when Rama returns, having defeated Ravana in the jungle and restored order to Ayodha & Sri Lanka. We light every light in the house to > a) guide him home > b) Guide the Goddess Lakshmi, the Goddess of Wealth, into our home. > Diwali is the 1st of November, so anyone who is waiting for a winning Lotto ticket, that is the day to leave a light burning all night. > > As for the pirate ship, your own bloody fault…it was on the boards and went to 5 pages, as I recall! You never did catch that stinker who kept trying to sink your ship, did you? 😛😃 ---
**Author:** ![QuickSilver](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/quicksilver/32/7832_2.png) [@QuickSilver](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/QuickSilver)\ **Post date:** [October 4, 2005, 3:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/happy-jewish-new-year/324544/20 "2005-10-04T15:06:29Z")
> [@Anaamika](#): > > Ok, so what do you guys need me to do? Turn lights on and off? Just remember, I’m not all that reliable, and I’d rather play instead. Let’s see…maybe I could turn on the wrong light every time? You can dress in some flowy robes and peel me a grape. We’ll see what gets turned on as things go… 😉 [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/happy-jewish-new-year/324544.md?page=2)