# Happy New Bitchfest! **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [January 1, 2014, 12:37am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/happy-new-bitchfest/677605 "2014-01-01T00:37:10Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 18
**Author:** ![Nava](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/da6949/32.png) [@Nava](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Nava)\ **Post date:** [January 15, 2014, 11:24am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/happy-new-bitchfest/677605/341 "2014-01-15T11:24:54Z")
Cousin Dearest wants me to fix Grandma’s flat before I rent it. No fucking way: I’m fixing it as part of the rental agreement, and Grandma is perfectly happy about that. Cousin Dearest has asked “a trustworthy electrician” for an electrical budget. Under the table. Cousin Dearest has asked “a trustworthy bricklayer” for a wall-work budget. Under the table. Cousin Dearest was aiming to rent Grandma’s flat to “someone trustworthy”, namely her boyfriend, whose second job consists of being an accountant. Under the table, of course. I get paid above the table, money I spend on this above the table will be deductible, the only place I’d trust anybody who’s a friend of Cousin Dearest is at the bottom of the ocean (and we’d have to put a “poison” warning on them) and I’m seriously considering hitting Cousin Dearest with Grandma’s table. Pity the table is damn heavy and the room isn’t big enough to swing it around 😛 Cousin Dearest the law-degree-holder was also thinking she’d “just use one of your” (i.e. mine) “old rental contracts as a model” for this one. Apparently there isn’t any other source for contract models, you see :rolleyes: Nope, that’s going via an agent… and above the fucking table. ---
**Author:** ![Helena330](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/helena330/32/531_2.png) [@Helena330](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Helena330)\ **Post date:** [January 15, 2014, 9:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/happy-new-bitchfest/677605/342 "2014-01-15T21:19:49Z")
> [@MagicEyes](#): > > This is as bad as people who say “conversate.” You know, there’s already a perfectly good verb for that, and it’s shorter!! Although it is easy to avoid that word if you don’t watch any court-related TV shows. It seems to be mostly people on Judge Judy or People’s Court who use that word. In the opposite direction, but it gets on my nerves: when did “invite” become a noun? 😕 Is it really so difficult to say two more syllables? ---
**Author:** ![SerafinaPekala](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ecae2f/32.png) [@SerafinaPekala](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SerafinaPekala)\ **Post date:** [January 15, 2014, 11:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/happy-new-bitchfest/677605/343 "2014-01-15T23:12:47Z")
> [@Cat\_Whisperer](#): > > \ > My _rant du jour_ - we were having a lovely soak in the hot (soaking) pool on our last night here, when half an hour before closing time, in comes a family with four small kids that proceed to splash and shriek for the last half hour of relaxy-soaky-time. I don’t think parents get it - this is a SOAKING pool, not a swimming pool - it isn’t a splash around and make all kinds of noise pool. The staff at this pool are unfailingly nice, but they need to get a little more stern and explain that to people who don’t seem to know. Lawd yesss! I try to find Non-Breeder Resorts when we travel, as in, adults only, for this very reason. Its bad enough they bring the whole screaming herd on the plane. It would be nice if there was some signage to the effect: “Adults Only in This Soaking Pool After XXXXPM”, but hotels dont want to offend the paying customers I guess. Obnoxious as they are. ---
**Author:** ![GuanoLad](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/guanolad/32/42_2.png) [@GuanoLad](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/GuanoLad)\ **Post date:** [January 16, 2014, 6:12am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/happy-new-bitchfest/677605/344 "2014-01-16T06:12:54Z")
_Doge_ meme. Not funny. Not clever. Not any more, please. ---
**Author:** ![Silver\_Fire](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/a88e4f/32.png) [@Silver\_Fire](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Silver_Fire)\ **Post date:** [January 16, 2014, 6:39am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/happy-new-bitchfest/677605/345 "2014-01-16T06:39:38Z")
I genuinely believe that MPSIMS should be hidden for the first 30 days or so of any new membership so newcomers don’t think that everybody here is retarded. Cite: every single “hi, I’m new here” thread ever. ---
**Author:** ![Silver\_Fire](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/a88e4f/32.png) [@Silver\_Fire](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Silver_Fire)\ **Post date:** [January 16, 2014, 6:46am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/happy-new-bitchfest/677605/346 "2014-01-16T06:46:27Z")
Also, red wine makes me bitchy and very “hey, I don’t give a fuck!” at the same time. I bitched about fat chicks on my Facebook a few nights ago and said flat out I don’t care if it’s offensive. Same with this post. I know there’s a fair bit of overlap between these threads and the “hurr, who brought the squid?!” crowd and I really just don’t care. White wine makes me cuddly. I still like red better. This post isn’t really a rant. ---
**Author:** ![SeaDragonTattoo](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/df705f/32.png) [@SeaDragonTattoo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SeaDragonTattoo)\ **Post date:** [January 16, 2014, 7:15am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/happy-new-bitchfest/677605/347 "2014-01-16T07:15:40Z")
Waiting until the 31st to efile tax returns. Well, the fed return is in the queue, but I can’t even access my state return to start it. Fuckers. ---
**Author:** ![Catamount](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/catamount/32/2840_2.png) [@Catamount](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Catamount)\ **Post date:** [January 16, 2014, 11:27am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/happy-new-bitchfest/677605/348 "2014-01-16T11:27:33Z")
> [@GuanoLad](#): > > _Doge_ meme. Not funny. Not clever. Not any more, please. I didn’t even know what this was until yesterday and I’m already tired of it. ---
**Author:** ![WolfpackJeep](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/wolfpackjeep/32/2921_2.png) [@WolfpackJeep](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/WolfpackJeep)\ **Post date:** [January 16, 2014, 2:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/happy-new-bitchfest/677605/349 "2014-01-16T14:02:02Z")
_such meme_ - many picture\* _very irritate_ _wow_ 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Lacunae\_Matata](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/8491ac/32.png) [@Lacunae\_Matata](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lacunae_Matata)\ **Post date:** [January 16, 2014, 6:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/happy-new-bitchfest/677605/350 "2014-01-16T18:19:52Z")
Dammit, just discovered that someone siphoned all the gas out of the ATV, and that they apparently stole a brand-new jerry can to do so. I’m guessing that must have been while we were out of town for Christmas, because I can’t see someone doing that while the dogs are here. Assholes. ---
**Author:** ![Cat\_Whisperer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cat_whisperer/32/4839_2.png) [@Cat\_Whisperer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cat_Whisperer)\ **Post date:** [January 16, 2014, 7:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/happy-new-bitchfest/677605/351 "2014-01-16T19:50:00Z")
> [@Silver\_Fire](#): > > I genuinely believe that MPSIMS should be hidden for the first 30 days or so of any new membership so newcomers don’t think that everybody here is retarded. Cite: every single “hi, I’m new here” thread ever. > [@Silver\_Fire](#): > > Also, red wine makes me bitchy and very “hey, I don’t give a fuck!” at the same time. I bitched about fat chicks on my Facebook a few nights ago and said flat out I don’t care if it’s offensive. Same with this post. I know there’s a fair bit of overlap between these threads and the “hurr, who brought the squid?!” crowd and I really just don’t care. > > White wine makes me cuddly. I still like red better. > > This post isn’t really a rant. SOMEbody’s squidding didn’t take! ---
**Author:** ![Rhiannon8404](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/rhiannon8404/32/17929_2.png) [@Rhiannon8404](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rhiannon8404)\ **Post date:** [January 16, 2014, 8:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/happy-new-bitchfest/677605/352 "2014-01-16T20:10:16Z")
My kid is sick. It’s not too bad - sore throat, low fever, achy. He’s home from school, obviously. So it sucks that he’s not feeling well, but he won’t even let me take care of him. Me: Ack! Why are you up? What are you doing? Kid: I was hungry so I’m making some soup. Me: I said I would do that for you! I’m your mom, let me do it. Kid: I feel bad having you wait on me. Me: But I’m THE MOM! It’s my job when you’re sick to take care of you. Kid: But I’m not that sick and you were doing stuff (the stuff was laundry and knitting, not important stuff). He was very rarely sick when he was little and I’m really thankful for that. Now that he’s 15 and 6 ft tall, I guess I still want to baby him, and he’s ready to be independent. I should be glad, but I’m a little sad that he won’t let me take care of him. It’s silly, I know. His future wife/girlfriends will be pleased, I think, that they don’t have one of those guys who falls to pieces and can’t function the moment they get a sniffle. ---
**Author:** ![elucidator](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/8edcca/32.png) [@elucidator](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/elucidator)\ **Post date:** [January 16, 2014, 8:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/happy-new-bitchfest/677605/353 "2014-01-16T20:10:58Z")
> [@](#): > > SOMEbody’s squidding didn’t take! I have two definitions for “squidding” available from the Goog: > [@](#): > > The masturbatory act of massaging the head of your cock in a squid-like motion. from the Urban Dictionary > [@](#): > > “Squid” is a term used by the riding community. It has many, many MANY definitions and that definition varies depending on who you are asking the question to. Ask us? A squid is someone on a motorcycle who is unprepared, uneducated, and/or unsafe. [http://www.nosquidding.com/](http://www.nosquidding.com/) I’m assuming these definitions are mutually exclusive, and I have no curiosity whatsoever. ---
**Author:** ![Lacunae\_Matata](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/8491ac/32.png) [@Lacunae\_Matata](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lacunae_Matata)\ **Post date:** [January 16, 2014, 8:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/happy-new-bitchfest/677605/354 "2014-01-16T20:20:13Z")
> [@Rhiannon8404](#): > > My kid is sick. It’s not too bad - sore throat, low fever, achy. He’s home from school, obviously. So it sucks that he’s not feeling well, but he won’t even let me take care of him. > > Me: Ack! Why are you up? What are you doing? > Kid: I was hungry so I’m making some soup. > Me: I said I would do that for you! I’m your mom, let me do it. > Kid: I feel bad having you wait on me. > Me: But I’m THE MOM! It’s my job when you’re sick to take care of you. > Kid: But I’m not that sick and you were doing stuff (the stuff was laundry and knitting, not important stuff). > > He was very rarely sick when he was little and I’m really thankful for that. Now that he’s 15 and 6 ft tall, I guess I still want to baby him, and he’s ready to be independent. I should be glad, but I’m a little sad that he won’t let me take care of him. It’s silly, I know. His future wife/girlfriends will be pleased, I think, that they don’t have one of those guys who falls to pieces and can’t function the moment they get a sniffle. Please please please encourage him to behave exactly as he is today. My poor husband has had the Man Flu lately. It’s exactly the flu I had when I filled Christmas stockings and cooked a holiday meal and fed, clothed, mothered four children and two dogs, cuddled and doctored a couple of sick little girls, finished DIY projects at the new house, packed boxes, signed school paperwork… and brought meals in bed, found TV remotes that migrated into the sheets, made a store run for different bath tissue, (because the 12 rolls I bought weren’t quite cushy enough for his tushie,) etc. The flu sucks, but the Man Flu sucks a whole lot more. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Cat\_Whisperer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cat_whisperer/32/4839_2.png) [@Cat\_Whisperer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cat_Whisperer)\ **Post date:** [January 16, 2014, 11:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/happy-new-bitchfest/677605/355 "2014-01-16T23:35:57Z")
> [@elucidator](#): > > I have two definitions for “squidding” available from the Goog: > from the Urban Dictionary > [http://www.nosquidding.com/](http://www.nosquidding.com/) > > I’m assuming these definitions are mutually exclusive, and I have no curiosity whatsoever. The Straight Dope initiation squidding does not resemble either of those two things. Well, maybe one of them, a little. ---
**Author:** ![Seanette](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/seanette/32/9139_2.png) [@Seanette](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Seanette)\ **Post date:** [January 17, 2014, 2:04am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/happy-new-bitchfest/677605/356 "2014-01-17T02:04:04Z")
> [@Rhiannon8404](#): > > His future wife/girlfriends will be pleased, I think, that they don’t have one of those guys who falls to pieces and can’t function the moment they get a sniffle. Too independent isn’t great, either. My husband just wants to be left alone when ill, I want to take care of him. To make things worse, I’d appreciate a mild-to-moderate amount of care and sympathy when ill, but he gives me the treatment he’d want, which is “leave the sick person alone”. ☹ ---
**Author:** ![Chimera](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/8e8cbc/32.png) [@Chimera](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chimera)\ **Post date:** [January 17, 2014, 2:10am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/happy-new-bitchfest/677605/357 "2014-01-17T02:10:46Z")
Look, as a guy, I’ll tell you that most men ignore minor illnesses and keep soldiering on through moderate illnesses. So if we’re laid out, it’s because we’re actually laid out by it. We’re not pretending, we’re not exaggerating it. I can’t tell you how many times I’ve gone to work with some combination of serious pain, incoherence, high fever, wracking cough, deep fatigue, etc. Especially when I lived paycheck to paycheck and didn’t have sick time. I fucking went, unless I physically could not. ---
**Author:** ![Projammer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/projammer/32/559_2.png) [@Projammer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Projammer)\ **Post date:** [January 17, 2014, 2:27am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/happy-new-bitchfest/677605/358 "2014-01-17T02:27:09Z")
Amazon product reviews. There are check boxes for whether the review was useful. Now I just need one for this reviewer is too fecking stupid to have an opinion. ---
**Author:** ![flatlined](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/eb9ed0/32.png) [@flatlined](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/flatlined)\ **Post date:** [January 17, 2014, 3:16am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/happy-new-bitchfest/677605/359 "2014-01-17T03:16:34Z")
> [@Projammer](#): > > Amazon product reviews. There are check boxes for whether the review was useful. > > Now I just need one for this reviewer is too fecking stupid to have an opinion. Cracks up! Female here, but I’m also one of those people who just soldier on when I’m sick or hurt. During the early part of our relationship, my not-yet husband had a quad-bypass. I flew out to be with him and he was a very easy patient, but while I was there when needed, I gave him the level of care that I would have wanted. He later told me that I did just what he wanted and needed. (Of course this did include helping him get into shape so he could climb 3 flights of stairs, so we could have sex. Doctor’s orders and all.) He’s not nearly so nice when I’m sick. He just won’t leave me alone. Do I want soup, do I want some juice/tea/cold water, should the change the heat/AC, do I need blankets, should he keep the cats out, are the light levels OK, etc., etc., ETC!!! Makes me totally nuts, but I do kinda understand. His wife of 30 years died of cancer. He loved and cared for her until the end. This is why I didn’t shoot him when I had a migraine last month. Well, that and the part about the lightshow being so intense that I couldn’t see well enough to point gun or even fling a cat at him. I sure did think about violence and bloodshed, though. ---
**Author:** ![madrabbitwoman](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/c37758/32.png) [@madrabbitwoman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/madrabbitwoman)\ **Post date:** [January 17, 2014, 3:38am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/happy-new-bitchfest/677605/360 "2014-01-17T03:38:18Z")
It is 44.8ºc outside but I still had jobs to do (like try and save some plants) so now I have prickly heat and I wish to scratch my entire epidermis off. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/happy-new-bitchfest/677605.md?page=17) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/happy-new-bitchfest/677605.md?page=19)