# Happy New Rants!! **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [January 1, 2018, 11:12am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/happy-new-rants/805683 "2018-01-01T11:12:19Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 4
**Author:** ![Projammer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/projammer/32/559_2.png) [@Projammer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Projammer)\ **Post date:** [January 3, 2018, 11:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/happy-new-rants/805683/61 "2018-01-03T23:31:32Z")
> [@Beckdawrek](#): > > I may not ever pee again. Just eat a couple of pounds of steamed asparagus first and fumigate them. ---
**Author:** ![Beckdawrek](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/beckdawrek/32/3647_2.png) [@Beckdawrek](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Beckdawrek)\ **Post date:** [January 3, 2018, 11:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/happy-new-rants/805683/62 "2018-01-03T23:48:43Z")
I went upstairs to the bathroom. I have decided if my friendly ‘house-o-pede’ cannot climb up the pipes. So I am safe. Please, don’t burst my bubble. I am in a fragile state. Mr.Wrekker just told me there are probably thousands of them under the back deck. He is laughing his ass off, I don’t see what’s so funny! At all! ---
**Author:** ![digs](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/digs/32/14889_2.png) [@digs](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/digs)\ **Post date:** [January 3, 2018, 11:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/happy-new-rants/805683/63 "2018-01-03T23:49:12Z")
If you need any how-to’s on standing up to pee… ---
**Author:** ![Spice\_Weasel](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/spice_weasel/32/5435_2.png) [@Spice\_Weasel](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Spice_Weasel)\ **Post date:** [January 3, 2018, 11:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/happy-new-rants/805683/64 "2018-01-03T23:56:12Z")
> [@digs](#): > > If you need any how-to’s on standing up to pee… [We’ve got that covered.](https://www.target.com/p/gogirl-female-urination-device-45-lavender/-/A-12892210?ref=tgt_adv_XS000000&AFID=google_pla_df&CPNG=PLA_Health+Beauty+Shopping&adgroup=SC_Health+Beauty&LID=700000001170770pgs&network=g&device=c&location=9016970&gclid=CjwKCAiAm7LSBRBBEiwAvL1-LxmZYHyoSJozpm6lg-5s-ZEgPNsbZ70Pv0s77pf1goryYzGV51tnlhoCxwMQAvD_BwE&gclsrc=aw.ds) ---
**Author:** ![Beckdawrek](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/beckdawrek/32/3647_2.png) [@Beckdawrek](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Beckdawrek)\ **Post date:** [January 4, 2018, 12:10am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/happy-new-rants/805683/65 "2018-01-04T00:10:24Z")
Thx, Spice, so enlightening. I will be ordering one. I want purple. ---
**Author:** ![Eyebrows\_0f\_Doom](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/eyebrows_0f_doom/32/3119_2.png) [@Eyebrows\_0f\_Doom](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Eyebrows_0f_Doom)\ **Post date:** [January 4, 2018, 12:50am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/happy-new-rants/805683/66 "2018-01-04T00:50:55Z")
> [@Beckdawrek](#): > > Thx, Spice, so enlightening. I will be ordering one. I want purple. I have one of those and it works very well! ---
**Author:** ![Catamount](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/catamount/32/2840_2.png) [@Catamount](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Catamount)\ **Post date:** [January 4, 2018, 1:10am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/happy-new-rants/805683/67 "2018-01-04T01:10:59Z")
> [@Spice\_Weasel](#): > > Was it a [house centipede](https://bugguide.net/images/cache/HSA/QY0/HSAQY01QV05K2KSKNKRKNKSKNKGQ2KSKNK5QY08QNKRKA0SKUK0KT04QB02QV0PQA0GQNK8QT01Q30BQOKMK30NQLS.jpg)? > > I actually like bugs a lot. Spiders, crickets, mantises, millipedes, centipedes, you name it, they delight me. I would have never fathomed I could ever meet a bug I didn’t like. > > The first time I ever saw a house centipede, I totally lost my shit. Those things radiate malevolence. And the way they move! Gah! House centipedes eat ants. I hate ants and I will burn the house down to get rid of them. Give me a house centipede any day. My rant is my anxiety. I’ve been working a temp job for the last three months. Yesterday they offered to make it permanent; all I have to do is fill out the application. Now I’m freaking out because I’m afraid they will reject my application. I know this is my brain being stupid but it’s really hard to make it shut up right now. Stupid brain. ---
**Author:** ![Chimera](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/8e8cbc/32.png) [@Chimera](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chimera)\ **Post date:** [January 4, 2018, 1:13am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/happy-new-rants/805683/68 "2018-01-04T01:13:21Z")
If you fill it out, they might reject you. If you don’t fill it out, you’re rejecting the job. So the question is, do you want the job? If so, fill out the paperwork. ---
**Author:** ![Spice\_Weasel](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/spice_weasel/32/5435_2.png) [@Spice\_Weasel](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Spice_Weasel)\ **Post date:** [January 4, 2018, 1:25am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/happy-new-rants/805683/69 "2018-01-04T01:25:29Z")
> [@Catamount](#): > > House centipedes eat ants. I hate ants and I will burn the house down to get rid of them. Give me a house centipede any day. > > My rant is my anxiety. I’ve been working a temp job for the last three months. Yesterday they offered to make it permanent; all I have to do is fill out the application. Now I’m freaking out because I’m afraid they will reject my application. I know this is my brain being stupid but it’s really hard to make it shut up right now. Stupid brain. When I struggled in the past with feeling good enough for a position, I took an attitude, “Well, I’ll just apply and let them decide.” Let them decide. 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![Catamount](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/catamount/32/2840_2.png) [@Catamount](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Catamount)\ **Post date:** [January 4, 2018, 12:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/happy-new-rants/805683/70 "2018-01-04T12:41:50Z")
> [@Spice\_Weasel](#): > > When I struggled in the past with feeling good enough for a position, I took an attitude, “Well, I’ll just apply and let them decide.” > > Let them decide. 🙂 That’s what I did. It sounds promising, but I’m still going to be an anxious mess until the decision is made. Part of my anxiety is me not wanting to go back on the temp merry-go-round. ---
**Author:** ![Eureka](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/74df32/32.png) [@Eureka](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Eureka)\ **Post date:** [January 4, 2018, 3:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/happy-new-rants/805683/71 "2018-01-04T15:25:18Z")
I fear I saw a dog hit by a car and die this morning. I feel sorry for the driver, and the owner, and the dog. But I’m also very unhappy with the person who was responsible for the dog. The road we were on is way too major and busy to have a dog OFF LEASH and at least twenty feet away from the person. ---
**Author:** ![Morgenstern](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/f9ae1b/32.png) [@Morgenstern](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Morgenstern)\ **Post date:** [January 4, 2018, 3:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/happy-new-rants/805683/72 "2018-01-04T15:33:04Z")
Damn refer quit running yesterday. It’s old, but I didn’t want to spend the first week of the new year buying a new refrigerator. It’ll be here tomorrow morning. Then the dryer quit, needs new belt, and that’s a fun fix. And the dishwasher is really weird but the old way of dish cleaning is working for now. The battery in my car is dead, but we always use the other car. And the damn smoke detector is beeping again. The one I can’t reach without a ladder and a nose bleed fro altitude. Screw 2018 so far. ---
**Author:** ![Spice\_Weasel](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/spice_weasel/32/5435_2.png) [@Spice\_Weasel](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Spice_Weasel)\ **Post date:** [January 4, 2018, 3:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/happy-new-rants/805683/73 "2018-01-04T15:53:48Z")
In the TMI department… I have a urology appointment for physical therapy referral due to lifelong pelvic pain and I’m not looking forward to it. It’s a painful appointment to be assessed for future regular painful appointments likely to stretch on for months. I will also be asked to do painful things at home. I couldn’t sleep last night, had to get up much earlier than I’m used to to attend a work meeting (I’m supposed to be on vacation), it’s freezing ass cold outside and now I’m sitting, bored and exhausted, in a Panera Bread for the next hour since I was so tired I miscalculated the time I had to leave for my appointment. An appointment I dread. I just spilled liquid egg yolk all over my pants and I’m sitting right by the side door so I keep getting blasted with cold air. Can I go back to sleep please? ---
**Author:** ![minor7flat5](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/minor7flat5/32/258_2.png) [@minor7flat5](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/minor7flat5)\ **Post date:** [January 4, 2018, 6:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/happy-new-rants/805683/74 "2018-01-04T18:13:38Z")
> [@Catamount](#): > > House centipedes eat ants. I hate ants and I will burn the house down to get rid of them. Give me a house centipede any day. > > My rant is my anxiety. I’ve been working a temp job for the last three months. Yesterday they offered to make it permanent; all I have to do is fill out the application. Now I’m freaking out because I’m afraid they will reject my application. I know this is my brain being stupid but it’s really hard to make it shut up right now. Stupid brain. They wouldn’t have said anything at all if they weren’t serious. They know you and they know your work. As long as there aren’t any nasty skeletons in your closet you ought to be in like Flynn. Go for it! (and house centipedes are disgusting and creepy, while ants are clean and I can abide with them. just my opinion) ---
**Author:** ![mischievous](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/c2a13f/32.png) [@mischievous](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/mischievous)\ **Post date:** [January 4, 2018, 6:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/happy-new-rants/805683/75 "2018-01-04T18:21:34Z")
> [@Spice\_Weasel](#): > > My reservations about house centipedes notwithstanding, I think you and I would get on quite well. Indeed! > [@Spice\_Weasel](#): > > I have a urology appointment for physical therapy referral due to lifelong pelvic pain and I’m not looking forward to it. It’s a painful appointment to be assessed for future regular painful appointments likely to stretch on for months. I will also be asked to do painful things at home… I’m sitting, bored and exhausted, in a Panera Bread… I just spilled liquid egg yolk all over my pants and I’m sitting right by the side door so I keep getting blasted with cold air. > > Can I go back to sleep please? Find the warmest place in the Panera, curl up on the carpet, take a nap. If anyone disturbs you, start talking about house centipedes. If possible, illustrate the way their legs move, using all of your fingers. Good luck! ---
**Author:** ![carnivorousplant](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/carnivorousplant/32/3563_2.png) [@carnivorousplant](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/carnivorousplant)\ **Post date:** [January 4, 2018, 6:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/happy-new-rants/805683/76 "2018-01-04T18:35:47Z")
> [@mischievous](#): > > Find the warmest place in the Panera, curl up on the carpet, take a nap. If anyone disturbs you, start talking about house centipedes. If possible, illustrate the way their legs move, using all of your fingers. Did you pick your own user name? :dubious: ---
**Author:** ![jayjay](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jayjay/32/6765_2.png) [@jayjay](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jayjay)\ **Post date:** [January 4, 2018, 7:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/happy-new-rants/805683/77 "2018-01-04T19:07:41Z")
Dear women in my office (to whom I would never be allowed to speak to about this myself): The plastic bin hanging by the toilet in the unisex/handicapped restroom (and, I assume, in the Ladies’) with the little wax-paper bags in it is a DISPENSER, not a receptacle. You shouldn’t really be filling a wax-paper (for a reason, please!) bag with what it’s meant to be filled with then leaving it in the plastic bin with the clean bags for someone else to put in the trash. Please take care of your own hygienic clean-up. Thank you for your time. Signed, a concerned co-worker who had to carefully pick up said filled bag and put it in the trash. ---
**Author:** ![Beckdawrek](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/beckdawrek/32/3647_2.png) [@Beckdawrek](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Beckdawrek)\ **Post date:** [January 4, 2018, 7:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/happy-new-rants/805683/78 "2018-01-04T19:23:41Z")
Eeewwwww. I would’ve left it there and called janitorial service. Above my pay grade, to clean up after someone like that. Nope! P.S. good luck Spice!! ---
**Author:** ![Spice\_Weasel](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/spice_weasel/32/5435_2.png) [@Spice\_Weasel](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Spice_Weasel)\ **Post date:** [January 4, 2018, 7:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/happy-new-rants/805683/79 "2018-01-04T19:39:27Z")
> [@mischievous](#): > > Indeed! > > Find the warmest place in the Panera, curl up on the carpet, take a nap. If anyone disturbs you, start talking about house centipedes. If possible, illustrate the way their legs move, using all of your fingers. > > Good luck! It was fucking awful. Great doctors, just really painful exam. I have something called vestibulodynia caused by 21 years on birth control. The standard treatment would be to take me off birth control. I can’t do that, Hal. I’m a fucking mess without it. Endometriosis and PMDD for the win. So she’s trying to keep me on BC and have me use an estrogen and testosterone treatment for eight weeks to see if it helps. Plus intensive physical therapy. They said, “Don’t worry, you’re in the right place.” I’m happy to have a diagnosis after 12 years of pain. But I’m doubtful I’ll make much progress while I’m on BC. And the last time I was off BC my entire life fell apart. I wanna cry. ---
**Author:** ![mischievous](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/c2a13f/32.png) [@mischievous](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/mischievous)\ **Post date:** [January 4, 2018, 8:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/happy-new-rants/805683/80 "2018-01-04T20:02:52Z")
> [@carnivorousplant](#): > > Did you pick your own user name? :dubious: It’s a direct translation of my given name. Sometimes, you just gotta live up to your heritage. > [@Spice\_Weasel](#): > > It was fucking awful. Great doctors, just really painful exam… But I’m doubtful I’ll make much progress while I’m on BC. And the last time I was off BC my entire life fell apart. > > I wanna cry. Ugh. I’m sending you hugs, for what they’re worth. Give it time. You will probably need to try multiple approaches. But odds are good that one of them will work, even if imperfectly. Does it make any sense at all to get a hysterectomy or oophorectomy to control the hormonal issues? Spend the rest of the day with warm compresses and tea. You deserve it. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/happy-new-rants/805683.md?page=3) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/happy-new-rants/805683.md?page=5)