# Happy Thanksbitching! November is here! **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [November 1, 2011, 2:49am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/happy-thanksbitching-november-is-here/601451 "2011-11-01T02:49:52Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 18
**Author:** ![aruvqan](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/aruvqan/32/2891_2.png) [@aruvqan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/aruvqan)\ **Post date:** [November 19, 2011, 1:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/happy-thanksbitching-november-is-here/601451/341 "2011-11-19T13:52:52Z")
> [@flatlined](#): > > My doctor is a meany. He says he’s happy with the xrays and that everything is looking good. Can I walk yet? NO! Can I at least have some crutches? NO! He wants me on my butt with my leg propped up and he doesn’t trust me with crutches. He seems to think that I’d overdue it or something. Can I drive yet? NO! When can I go back to work? We aren’t even going to talk about it for another 2 weeks. Butbutbut!!! Consider yourself lucky that I haven’t put a walking cast on your leg, Flattlined. Now go home and keep off your foot. > > There were more mean things said, but at least I can fly now…as long as its business class or better. While wearing my oh so fashionable black nylon with velcro straps boot. And how the fuck does he expect you to get to the bathroom without crutches? A [palanequin](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Litter_%28vehicle%29) with 4 husky slaves? Actually, you can buy your own sticks at a pharmacy, run you about $35 or so for classic wooden or aluminum [axillarys](http://www.amazon.com/JAC-Healthcare-Weight-Aluminum-Crutches/dp/B000H9RU8Y), though I recommend getting [canadians](http://www.activeforever.com/p-742-drive-steel-forearm-crutches.aspx?cm_mmc=froogle-_-na-_-drive-steel-forearm-crutches-_-1821). Stability is better with canadians, and you don’t risk nerve damage to the underarms =) Oddly enough, the cost is about the same - go figure. I have [purple](http://www.awardprosthetics.com/c-folding.html) ones =) ---
**Author:** ![FatBaldGuy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/ecd19e/32.png) [@FatBaldGuy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/FatBaldGuy)\ **Post date:** [November 19, 2011, 2:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/happy-thanksbitching-november-is-here/601451/342 "2011-11-19T14:18:26Z")
I got a letter from my bank yesterday. The free checking account I’ve had with them since 1983 is no longer free. They’re converting it to “Checking Plus” with a monthly fee of $7 per month. Of course, the fee can be “waived” if I either 1) Keep a minimum balance of $300, 2) Sign up for a credit card and use it at least once per month, or 3) Have other accounts with the bank and pay a minimum of $20 in fees for those accounts. If those requirements are too tough, I can change to “Basic Checking” which is “free” unless I write more than 5 checks per month, then it has a $2 fee. Ironically, this bank’s advertising slogan is “We haven’t forgotten who keeps us in business.” The cynical side of me has been saying for years, “Yes, and it’s the big commercial accounts, not the little guys.” Well, they just proved me right. Goodbye bank, hello Credit Union. ---
**Author:** ![Ferret\_Herder](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/e47774/32.png) [@Ferret\_Herder](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ferret_Herder)\ **Post date:** [November 19, 2011, 3:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/happy-thanksbitching-november-is-here/601451/343 "2011-11-19T15:32:05Z")
> [@Alice\_The\_Goon](#): > > Thanks, lady. I feel like I’m being a big baby when other people have really serious and life-threatening problems, but I can’t help it. I’m trying to get more involved in the community and I’m going to start working on Obama’s campaign, so I hope to meet a lot of new people and form a new family of sorts. No, don’t feel like this is nothing. My now-elderly father-in-law has been an extremely abusive asshole all his life, but most of his (adult) kids either just shrug and say “that’s how he is” or have varying degrees of Stockholm Syndrome and stick on his side because they don’t want to disrupt the status quo. I know what it’s like to stand up against someone and watch everyone else in that family just blithely go off to holidays and the like with them because that’s just how it’s done, and they’d rather not make waves by saying something like how they’d like to just see their mom and not him. ---
**Author:** ![Canadjun](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/76d3ee/32.png) [@Canadjun](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Canadjun)\ **Post date:** [November 19, 2011, 5:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/happy-thanksbitching-november-is-here/601451/344 "2011-11-19T17:07:06Z")
> [@aruvqan](#): > > though I recommend getting [canadians](http://www.activeforever.com/p-742-drive-steel-forearm-crutches.aspx?cm_mmc=froogle-_-na-_-drive-steel-forearm-crutches-_-1821). > Stability is better with canadians, and you don’t risk nerve damage to the underarms =) Canadians? I’ve always thought we were more stable than you guys south of the border, but I never heard of us holding you guys up! ---
**Author:** ![Catamount](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/catamount/32/2840_2.png) [@Catamount](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Catamount)\ **Post date:** [November 19, 2011, 11:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/happy-thanksbitching-november-is-here/601451/345 "2011-11-19T23:23:26Z")
My friends just lost their baby after 25 weeks of pregnancy. I want to go visit them and give them a hug and shoulder to cry on, but I can’t afford the gas to go down there right now. ☹ ---
**Author:** ![flatlined](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/eb9ed0/32.png) [@flatlined](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/flatlined)\ **Post date:** [November 20, 2011, 12:24am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/happy-thanksbitching-november-is-here/601451/346 "2011-11-20T00:24:59Z")
> [@Alice\_The\_Goon](#): > > Thanks, lady. I feel like I’m being a big baby when other people have really serious and life-threatening problems, but I can’t help it. I’m trying to get more involved in the community and I’m going to start working on Obama’s campaign, so I hope to meet a lot of new people and form a new family of sorts. You are not being a big baby. Your problems are very valid and worth ranting about. You do have my sympathy. I divorced my family years ago, it was the best thing I’ve ever done. I have a new family now, the aformentioned Marines and bikers are more than just riding buddies, they are true and loyal friends. I’m sure that when you are able to make your new family, you will be as happy as me. > [@aruvqan](#): > > And how the fuck does he expect you to get to the bathroom without crutches? A [palanequin](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Litter_%28vehicle%29) with 4 husky slaves? While I would love the idea of 4 husky slaves with or without palanequin, I guess I need to confess that I was just bitching. I think I’ve got a great doctor and I would (and do) recommend him to anyone who asks. I knew what I was getting into before the surgery. My doctor knows that I’m not very complient. (the time that I took advantage of him being out of town to get his staff to give me a work release comes to mind.) This is just how we relate to each other. I’m allowed to hobble to the bathroom because that means the pain will stop me from trying to do anything else but hobble somewhere when I’m done and put my foot back up. This is so I will recover properly. I do get it. I’ve cut way back on the pain meds because I agree that I need this reminder. I’m just super bored. My plan is to keep whining but do has I’m told. > [@Canadjun](#): > > Canadians? I’ve always thought we were more stable than you guys south of the border, but I never heard of us holding you guys up! Laughed at this 🙂 > [@SpazCat](#): > > My friends just lost their baby after 25 weeks of pregnancy. I want to go visit them and give them a hug and shoulder to cry on, but I can’t afford the gas to go down there right now. ☹ That really bites. I"m so sorry for them and for you. ---
**Author:** ![not\_what\_you\_d\_expect](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/not_what_you_d_expect/32/3246_2.png) [@not\_what\_you\_d\_expect](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/not_what_you_d_expect)\ **Post date:** [November 20, 2011, 12:33am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/happy-thanksbitching-november-is-here/601451/347 "2011-11-20T00:33:15Z")
> [@SpazCat](#): > > My friends just lost their baby after 25 weeks of pregnancy. I want to go visit them and give them a hug and shoulder to cry on, but I can’t afford the gas to go down there right now. ☹ Oh gosh, I’m so very sorry. ---
**Author:** ![vivalostwages](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/d07c76/32.png) [@vivalostwages](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/vivalostwages)\ **Post date:** [November 20, 2011, 12:47am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/happy-thanksbitching-november-is-here/601451/348 "2011-11-20T00:47:37Z")
> [@Isamu](#): > > I have an M.D. from Harvard. I am board certified in cardiothoracic medicine and trauma surgery. I have been awarded citations from seven different medical boards in New England and I am never, ever sick at sea. So I ask you; when someone goes into that chapel and they fall on their knees and they pray to God that their wife doesn’t miscarry or that their daughter doesn’t bleed to death or that their mother doesn’t suffer acute neural trauma from postoperative shock, who do you think they’re praying to? Now you go ahead and read your bible-Dennis. And you go to your church and with any luck you might even win the annual raffle. But if you’re looking for God, he was in operating room number two, on November 17th, and he doesn’t like being second guessed. You ask me if I have a God complex? Let me tell you something: I am God. // Dr. Jed Hill Is this from a movie? It sounds vaguely familiar. ---
**Author:** ![vivalostwages](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/d07c76/32.png) [@vivalostwages](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/vivalostwages)\ **Post date:** [November 20, 2011, 12:59am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/happy-thanksbitching-november-is-here/601451/349 "2011-11-20T00:59:26Z")
> [@Rilchiam](#): > > Campaigning. It’s in his hands to help you…or not. You have to make sure he chooses in your favor. My niece is parroting her mom now, begging for prayers and relinquishing control at the same time, wondering why job-searching is so frustrating and fruitless. She says God is using her lack of employment to teach her lessons. What lessons they are, I cannot imagine. ---
**Author:** ![kaylasdad99](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kaylasdad99/32/3398_2.png) [@kaylasdad99](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kaylasdad99)\ **Post date:** [November 20, 2011, 1:08am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/happy-thanksbitching-november-is-here/601451/350 "2011-11-20T01:08:06Z")
> [@vivalostwages](#): > > Is this from a movie? It sounds vaguely familiar. [Here’s](http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0107497/quotes) the “quotes” page from _Malice_. Fourth quote. ---
**Author:** ![Kolga](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/e56c9b/32.png) [@Kolga](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kolga)\ **Post date:** [November 20, 2011, 1:15am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/happy-thanksbitching-november-is-here/601451/351 "2011-11-20T01:15:59Z")
Malice > [@vivalostwages](#): > > Is this from a movie? It sounds vaguely familiar. ---
**Author:** ![aruvqan](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/aruvqan/32/2891_2.png) [@aruvqan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/aruvqan)\ **Post date:** [November 20, 2011, 3:26am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/happy-thanksbitching-november-is-here/601451/352 "2011-11-20T03:26:44Z")
> [@Canadjun](#): > > Canadians? I’ve always thought we were more stable than you guys south of the border, but I never heard of us holding you guys up! 😃 > [@flatlined](#): > > While I would love the idea of 4 husky slaves with or without palanequin, I guess I need to confess that I was just bitching. > > I’m allowed to hobble to the bathroom because that means the pain will stop me from trying to do anything else but hobble somewhere when I’m done and put my foot back up. This is so I will recover properly. I do get it. I’ve cut way back on the pain meds because I agree that I need this reminder. I’m just super bored. My plan is to keep whining but do has I’m told. Well you could imagine 4 husky slaves as you hobble to the bathroom, and add one peeling your grapes and one fanning you while you are at it =) ---
**Author:** ![gonzomax](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/e8c25b/32.png) [@gonzomax](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/gonzomax)\ **Post date:** [November 20, 2011, 5:33am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/happy-thanksbitching-november-is-here/601451/353 "2011-11-20T05:33:18Z")
Eight o clock Thanksgiving Day …Punkin Chunkin. After the Lion game, that makes it a great day. ---
**Author:** ![flatlined](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/eb9ed0/32.png) [@flatlined](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/flatlined)\ **Post date:** [November 20, 2011, 5:59am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/happy-thanksbitching-november-is-here/601451/354 "2011-11-20T05:59:11Z")
> [@aruvqan](#): > > 😃 > > Well you could imagine 4 husky slaves as you hobble to the bathroom, and add one peeling your grapes and one fanning you while you are at it =) Grins and licks lips. I have Marines for that sort of things. The grapes might be smooshed and they are the sort to add apps to my roomba because they are bored. Be jealous!!! A, B and C are now trying to beat the door down. Rotten kittens seem to think that now that they have names, they deserve to be out of their room and invading the house. ---
**Author:** ![Nava](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/da6949/32.png) [@Nava](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Nava)\ **Post date:** [November 20, 2011, 8:13am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/happy-thanksbitching-november-is-here/601451/355 "2011-11-20T08:13:44Z")
OK, but… are they husky Marines? And can we get pics? ---
**Author:** ![aruvqan](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/aruvqan/32/2891_2.png) [@aruvqan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/aruvqan)\ **Post date:** [November 20, 2011, 1:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/happy-thanksbitching-november-is-here/601451/356 "2011-11-20T13:25:40Z")
I have to admit, I am considering building some sort of palanquin shroud for a power chair for going to SCA events … and a steampunk shroud for cons 😃 ---
**Author:** ![RedWood](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/f08c70/32.png) [@RedWood](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RedWood)\ **Post date:** [November 20, 2011, 6:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/happy-thanksbitching-november-is-here/601451/357 "2011-11-20T18:20:58Z")
GRAAGH! Thanksbitching, indeed! I found out I was cooking The Big Dinner instead of my sister a few days ago by reading a Facebook reply of hers directed to my Mom. I can certainly make it happen (breadcubes are drying in the oven right now!) but I’d have liked a little direct notice earlier so I could have invited more folks. It will be a small party. O well. Party will happen. Turkey will occur. Mom will be happy (I hope!) ---
**Author:** ![Cat\_Whisperer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cat_whisperer/32/4839_2.png) [@Cat\_Whisperer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cat_Whisperer)\ **Post date:** [November 20, 2011, 7:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/happy-thanksbitching-november-is-here/601451/358 "2011-11-20T19:17:30Z")
> [@aruvqan](#): > > \and a steampunk shroud for cons 😃 You should totally do that. I saw something like that at last year’s convention, and it looked very, very cool. ---
**Author:** ![stegon66](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ee59a6/32.png) [@stegon66](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/stegon66)\ **Post date:** [November 20, 2011, 10:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/happy-thanksbitching-november-is-here/601451/359 "2011-11-20T22:26:30Z")
If I hear “who dey!” one more fucking time, I’m gonna shove a goddamned football up someone’s ass. Fuck! ---
**Author:** ![nashiitashii](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/7c8e57/32.png) [@nashiitashii](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/nashiitashii)\ **Post date:** [November 21, 2011, 1:47am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/happy-thanksbitching-november-is-here/601451/360 "2011-11-21T01:47:55Z")
I’ve got a couple of things to bitch about: 1. I had what I thought was a chest cold for a month. About a week ago, I discover it’s allergies. Allergies that are bad enough that I need the fancy “only exists behind the counter” Claritin-D and I frequently have the “muffled hearing where everything is unclear and yet still too loud” effect. All this coupled with random throat spasms and the rare cough makes me miserable, especially since I still get sleepy-foggy from the “non-drowsy” formula. 2. Some dickwad was singing Christmas carols in the Winn Dixie yesterday. I’m in one aisle, looking for stuff, and all of a sudden I hear “We wish you a merry Christmas, we wish you a merry Christmas, we wish you a merry Christmas” and I mentally thought “It’s not Thanksgiving yet” in tune. I sincerely wish I had the willingness at the time to sing that last line out quite loudly. After all, dickwad was in another aisle and wouldn’t be able to figure out who responded, right? [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/happy-thanksbitching-november-is-here/601451.md?page=17) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/happy-thanksbitching-november-is-here/601451.md?page=19)