# Happy Thanksbitching! November is here! **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [November 1, 2011, 2:49am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/happy-thanksbitching-november-is-here/601451 "2011-11-01T02:49:52Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 23
**Author:** ![Cat\_Whisperer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cat_whisperer/32/4839_2.png) [@Cat\_Whisperer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cat_Whisperer)\ **Post date:** [November 25, 2011, 8:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/happy-thanksbitching-november-is-here/601451/441 "2011-11-25T20:14:16Z")
> [@Alice\_The\_Goon](#): > > I’ve been going to the mall lately, just because we now live within walking distance of it and it’s something to do sometimes. There was a period of several years where I hardly ever went to the mall. They now have these people that, every few feet as you’re walking along, will step out from their kiosks and fuck with you. They will tell you that your skin sucks and that your hair could be much better and that you need a new cellphone, their cellphone. These losers are barely one step up from phone telemarketers. I used to be nice but now I just growl “leave me alone” and so I’m sure I look like a crazy lady but goddamn who said they could do this?? I hate those fuckers, too (yes, autocorrect, “fuckers” is a word - now you have learned it). My husband and I were taking a Friday night constitutional at a local mall, and we were deep in conversation about something. One of these cocklamps came up and started spouting his spiel at us, and apparently I looked at him with such withering rage that he shrank back and went away. There are about three or four that jump out at us in our local mall; the first couple get a polite, “No thank you.” After that, my thin veneer of civilization has worn away and they get whatever comes out of my mouth. ETA: My husband fantasizes about taking the sample of whatever shit they’re peddling and launching it as far as he can across the mall. “Hey, you’re right, those really DO fly well!” ---
**Author:** ![Alice\_The\_Goon](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ed8c4c/32.png) [@Alice\_The\_Goon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Alice_The_Goon)\ **Post date:** [November 25, 2011, 8:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/happy-thanksbitching-november-is-here/601451/442 "2011-11-25T20:29:17Z")
I would like to go to the mall with some Dopers. Imagine the ways we could fuck with those fuckers. ---
**Author:** ![overlyverbose](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/9dc877/32.png) [@overlyverbose](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/overlyverbose)\ **Post date:** [November 25, 2011, 9:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/happy-thanksbitching-november-is-here/601451/443 "2011-11-25T21:09:49Z")
Shit. My 2-year-old daughter is smarter than I am. She’s entered her hitting phase and now, every time she takes a swing, she giggles, puts herself in time out, pretends to cry for about a minute (very obviously faking), then chirps “Time out all done, Mommy!” and goes back to whatever it was she was doing. Dammit. Now I have to get more creative. This just isn’t fair. I couldn’t figure out what the hell she was doing at first, but after the third time, it was pretty obvious. Bloody hell. ---
**Author:** ![alice\_in\_wonderland](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/alice_in_wonderland/32/176_2.png) [@alice\_in\_wonderland](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/alice_in_wonderland)\ **Post date:** [November 25, 2011, 9:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/happy-thanksbitching-november-is-here/601451/444 "2011-11-25T21:30:24Z")
> [@Cat\_Whisperer](#): > > There are about three or four that jump out at us in our local mall; the first couple get a polite, “No thank you.” After that, my thin veneer of civilization has worn away and they get whatever comes out of my mouth. Balzac, by chance? If so, I hate those rat-bastards as well. I feel a twing of sympathy, because they _ALL_ have super thick eastern European accents and I wonder if they don’t make their sales quota if their ‘sponser’ is going to ship their ass back to the balkins, or whatever, but the sympathy passes after about the third one. FWIW, they all seem to open with ‘Can I ask you a question?’ You’re supposed to answer ‘Ok’ and then they kick into their skin care speil or whatever. I always answer ‘You just did.’ and keep walking. ---
**Author:** ![Sierra\_Indigo](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/f0a364/32.png) [@Sierra\_Indigo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sierra_Indigo)\ **Post date:** [November 25, 2011, 9:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/happy-thanksbitching-november-is-here/601451/445 "2011-11-25T21:44:17Z")
> [@overlyverbose](#): > > Shit. My 2-year-old daughter is smarter than I am. She’s entered her hitting phase and now, every time she takes a swing, she giggles, puts herself in time out, pretends to cry for about a minute (very obviously faking), then chirps “Time out all done, Mommy!” and goes back to whatever it was she was doing. Dammit. Now I have to get more creative. This just isn’t fair. > > I couldn’t figure out what the hell she was doing at first, but after the third time, it was pretty obvious. Bloody hell. So put her back in time out? She’s not in time out until you say she is, and she’s not done in time out until you say she’s done. ---
**Author:** ![EmAnJ](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/d2c977/32.png) [@EmAnJ](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/EmAnJ)\ **Post date:** [November 25, 2011, 10:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/happy-thanksbitching-november-is-here/601451/446 "2011-11-25T22:19:53Z")
> [@alice\_in\_wonderland](#): > > Balzac, by chance? If so, I hate those rat-bastards as well. I feel a twing of sympathy, because they _ALL_ have super thick eastern European accents and I wonder if they don’t make their sales quota if their ‘sponser’ is going to ship their ass back to the balkins, or whatever, but the sympathy passes after about the third one. > > FWIW, they all seem to open with ‘Can I ask you a question?’ You’re supposed to answer ‘Ok’ and then they kick into their skin care speil or whatever. I always answer ‘You just did.’ and keep walking. Ohhh, I like your response! I’m heading out to Crossiron Mills tonight I think…I shall use that line with glee! ---
**Author:** ![Chimera](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/8e8cbc/32.png) [@Chimera](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chimera)\ **Post date:** [November 26, 2011, 12:01am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/happy-thanksbitching-november-is-here/601451/447 "2011-11-26T00:01:58Z")
Man people were assholes today. Back in the day when I had this day off, I could at least prepare ahead of time, turn off my phone and stay home so as not to have to interact with people. ---
**Author:** ![Tracyfish](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/f14d63/32.png) [@Tracyfish](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tracyfish)\ **Post date:** [November 26, 2011, 2:00am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/happy-thanksbitching-november-is-here/601451/448 "2011-11-26T02:00:20Z")
I’m glad I’m not the only one who has had to get mean with someone selling something at a mall kiosk lately. The same asshole tried to stop me repeatedly when I was in a hurry to find something a few weeks ago, and I had to get nasty to drive home the point that he needed to leave me the fuck alone. ---
**Author:** ![aruvqan](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/aruvqan/32/2891_2.png) [@aruvqan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/aruvqan)\ **Post date:** [November 26, 2011, 2:41am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/happy-thanksbitching-november-is-here/601451/449 "2011-11-26T02:41:11Z")
> [@kaylasdad99](#): > > If you don’t speak a foreign language, you can just ostentatiously drag out a phrase book, make a great show of rifling through the pages, then triumphantly shout “MY HOVERCRAFT IS FULL OF EELS!” > > Try to cultivate a foreign-sounding accent to do this in. The only thing I can say in Russian is “My brother is being eaten by lions” which is fairly useless because my brother pretty much refuses to travel more than about 75 miles away from home. He will never travel to Russia, let alone visit a Russian zoo where is could possibly be eaten by a lion. _sigh_ ---
**Author:** ![Flutterby](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/6f9a4e/32.png) [@Flutterby](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Flutterby)\ **Post date:** [November 26, 2011, 3:14am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/happy-thanksbitching-november-is-here/601451/450 "2011-11-26T03:14:27Z")
> [@alice\_in\_wonderland](#): > > Balzac, by chance? If so, I hate those rat-bastards as well. I feel a twing of sympathy, because they _ALL_ have super thick eastern European accents and I wonder if they don’t make their sales quota if their ‘sponser’ is going to ship their ass back to the balkins, or whatever, but the sympathy passes after about the third one. > > FWIW, they all seem to open with ‘Can I ask you a question?’ You’re supposed to answer ‘Ok’ and then they kick into their skin care speil or whatever. I always answer ‘You just did.’ and keep walking. I will keep this in mind, I hate those fuckers. The last one I was bored so I started to listen to the spiel (waiting for a friend, I do odd things when bored) and she started out by telling me ‘No offense but you have blackheads and this will help you get rid of them’. Yeah, fuck that. I haven’t had blackheads since I was in my teens, not going to sell me anything that way. ---
**Author:** ![overlyverbose](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/9dc877/32.png) [@overlyverbose](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/overlyverbose)\ **Post date:** [November 26, 2011, 4:51am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/happy-thanksbitching-november-is-here/601451/451 "2011-11-26T04:51:17Z")
> [@Sierra\_Indigo](#): > > So put her back in time out? She’s not in time out until you say she is, and she’s not done in time out until you say she’s done. What I’ve started doing is if she hits someone, I simply hold her hand down to her side. If she kicks, I hold her legs still. I don’t hurt her, just don’t let her move. It’s the only thing that really seems to bother her. I can get her to stay put for several minutes, but then she busts out into a chorus of Baa Baa Black Sheep. Though I could try doing it for even longer. So far I’ve been holding to the theory that you have them sit for one minute for every year. ---
**Author:** ![flatlined](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/eb9ed0/32.png) [@flatlined](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/flatlined)\ **Post date:** [November 26, 2011, 5:24am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/happy-thanksbitching-november-is-here/601451/452 "2011-11-26T05:24:28Z")
> [@aruvqan](#): > > The only thing I can say in Russian is “My brother is being eaten by lions” which is fairly useless because my brother pretty much refuses to travel more than about 75 miles away from home. He will never travel to Russia, let alone visit a Russian zoo where is could possibly be eaten by a lion. _sigh_ But, that would work very well. Can you post it so we can speak it? It doesn’t really matter that we would mangle it 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![Cat\_Whisperer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cat_whisperer/32/4839_2.png) [@Cat\_Whisperer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cat_Whisperer)\ **Post date:** [November 26, 2011, 6:14am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/happy-thanksbitching-november-is-here/601451/453 "2011-11-26T06:14:08Z")
> [@alice\_in\_wonderland](#): > > Balzac, by chance? If so, I hate those rat-bastards as well.\ > [@EmAnJ](#): > > Ohhh, I like your response! I’m heading out to Crossiron Mills tonight I think…I shall use that line with glee! Yup - Crossiron Mills has the thickest infestation of them. Stupid pop-ups - I’m trying to read here! I thought I had pop-up blockers on my computer - why aren’t they blocking this shit? ---
**Author:** ![Moonlitherial](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/4bbf92/32.png) [@Moonlitherial](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Moonlitherial)\ **Post date:** [November 26, 2011, 6:45am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/happy-thanksbitching-november-is-here/601451/454 "2011-11-26T06:45:26Z")
> [@flatlined](#): > > But, that would work very well. Can you post it so we can speak it? It doesn’t really matter that we would mangle it 🙂 The key is to sound confident while mangling! ---
**Author:** ![flatlined](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/eb9ed0/32.png) [@flatlined](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/flatlined)\ **Post date:** [November 26, 2011, 8:13am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/happy-thanksbitching-november-is-here/601451/455 "2011-11-26T08:13:00Z")
**Cat Whisperer** , I’m now getting noisy ads. Very loud. I started my very first thread in ATMB to find out if there is someway to shut them off. **Moonlitherial** , you are so right. That is one of the live lessons I have learned…just act like you know what you are doing and nobody will ever question. But…thinking about yelling out that my brother is getting eaten by lions in Russian just sounds so very cool! **aruvqan** , if you can tell me how to say it, I’ll try to figure out how to send my big orange cat to visit your brother and bite him on the toes. He’s not really a lion, but he gets hair cuts that make him look like one. ---
**Author:** ![flatlined](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/eb9ed0/32.png) [@flatlined](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/flatlined)\ **Post date:** [November 26, 2011, 8:29am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/happy-thanksbitching-november-is-here/601451/456 "2011-11-26T08:29:42Z")
oh, heck. I forgot my real rant. Bill is a nag. He went to work for a couple of hours today and when he got home, I hobbled out to the kitchen to get him some food. Did he appreciate my efforts? No, he did not. His voice rose to scolding cats for being on the counter levels while he told me to go sit down. I officially hates him now. The only difference between being bored at home and being bored here is that there are different people nagging me. I hate my doctor as well. Doctor told me that this would take about 3 months to recover. I’m young and healthy. I should have recovered from this last week. I hates my boss as well. She won’t let me go back to work until I have a note from my doctor saying its OK. And my laptop is flacking out. Just what I need ☹ ---
**Author:** ![Morgyn](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/morgyn/32/3041_2.png) [@Morgyn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Morgyn)\ **Post date:** [November 26, 2011, 3:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/happy-thanksbitching-november-is-here/601451/457 "2011-11-26T15:55:40Z")
> [@flatlined](#): > > oh, heck. I forgot my real rant. Bill is a nag. He went to work for a couple of hours today and when he got home, I hobbled out to the kitchen to get him some food. Did he appreciate my efforts? No, he did not. His voice rose to scolding cats for being on the counter levels while he told me to go sit down. I officially hates him now. > > The only difference between being bored at home and being bored here is that there are different people nagging me. I hate my doctor as well. Doctor told me that this would take about 3 months to recover. I’m young and healthy. I should have recovered from this last week. I hates my boss as well. She won’t let me go back to work until I have a note from my doctor saying its OK. > > And my laptop is flacking out. Just what I need ☹ There’s an actual bright side to this: the longer it takes the doctor to let you go back to work, the more time your boss has with SG. If you think her emails are frantic _now_, imagine what they’ll look like by the time Christmas rolls around. The entertainment value will be off the scale. ---
**Author:** ![Carol\_the\_Impaler](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/6a8cbe/32.png) [@Carol\_the\_Impaler](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Carol_the_Impaler)\ **Post date:** [November 26, 2011, 4:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/happy-thanksbitching-november-is-here/601451/458 "2011-11-26T16:44:22Z")
My mini-rant for today is websites that don’t let you go back to the previous page when you click the back arrow. Why the fuck not? I end up using the “Recent Page” drop-down, but for chrissakes, why does the Back button not work on some sites? Jerks. 😛 ---
**Author:** ![Carol\_the\_Impaler](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/6a8cbe/32.png) [@Carol\_the\_Impaler](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Carol_the_Impaler)\ **Post date:** [November 26, 2011, 4:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/happy-thanksbitching-november-is-here/601451/459 "2011-11-26T16:46:52Z")
Also, it’s November 26th and my allergies are kicked up today. Feel like I can’t breathe, want to sleep and sleep, my one eyeball feels like it’s too big for the socket… It’s November 26th! We’ve already had a hard freeze and we’ve already had snow. Everything should be dead! ---
**Author:** ![aruvqan](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/aruvqan/32/2891_2.png) [@aruvqan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/aruvqan)\ **Post date:** [November 26, 2011, 5:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/happy-thanksbitching-november-is-here/601451/460 "2011-11-26T17:58:54Z")
> [@flatlined](#): > > But, that would work very well. Can you post it so we can speak it? It doesn’t really matter that we would mangle it 🙂 sounds like Zloyt lyev yesta bratva! said with feeling I would suppose 🙂 [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/happy-thanksbitching-november-is-here/601451.md?page=22) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/happy-thanksbitching-november-is-here/601451.md?page=24)