# Hard to find dates in 30's? **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [October 29, 2013, 12:31am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hard-to-find-dates-in-30s/672510 "2013-10-29T00:31:48Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 14\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![interface2x](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/c0e974/32.png) [@interface2x](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/interface2x)\ **Post date:** [October 30, 2013, 11:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hard-to-find-dates-in-30s/672510/41 "2013-10-30T23:33:40Z")
> [@control-z](#): > > A 33 year old woman with no kids is really a prime dating candidate. Old enough to hopefully be settled down a little, but not too old to do most any activity. Exactly, I’m a 36 year old guy and if I saw a 33 year old childless divorcee on that site that I found attractive or with whom I had mutual interests, I’d totally message her. The divorce would really mean nothing to me. ---
**Author:** ![ScrubJay81](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/76d3ee/32.png) [@ScrubJay81](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ScrubJay81)\ **Post date:** [October 31, 2013, 12:02am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hard-to-find-dates-in-30s/672510/42 "2013-10-31T00:02:33Z")
[quote=“bienville, post:25, topic:672510”] Well, **ScrubJay81** , I was all ready to date you until you mentioned the donated kidney. I need a women who’s still got a kidney to spare. Never know when I might need an extra kidney. I was worried about that as well. Thanks your your honesty. ---
**Author:** ![Spud](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/spud/32/347_2.png) [@Spud](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Spud)\ **Post date:** [October 31, 2013, 12:19am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hard-to-find-dates-in-30s/672510/43 "2013-10-31T00:19:29Z")
You think you have it bad trying to date in your 30’s… someone in GQ is asking about dating St Paul’s Epistles. ---
**Author:** ![ScrubJay81](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/76d3ee/32.png) [@ScrubJay81](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ScrubJay81)\ **Post date:** [October 31, 2013, 12:21am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hard-to-find-dates-in-30s/672510/44 "2013-10-31T00:21:24Z")
Thanks for all the advice everyone I really appreciate it. @Rachellelogram " Unless, of course, she’s very overweight. In which case, she should stuff her hopes and dreams behind all the ice cream cartons in her freezer." Actually, I am rather petite 5’2 110lbs. ---
**Author:** ![Fubaya](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/c2a13f/32.png) [@Fubaya](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Fubaya)\ **Post date:** [October 31, 2013, 12:37am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hard-to-find-dates-in-30s/672510/45 "2013-10-31T00:37:32Z")
> [@ScrubJay81](#): > > Actually, I am rather petite 5’2 110lbs. Well that cinches it. I’m betting you won’t stay single long enough for the ink to dry on the divorce papers. ---
**Author:** ![Ambivalid](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/a5b964/32.png) [@Ambivalid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ambivalid)\ **Post date:** [October 31, 2013, 12:38am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hard-to-find-dates-in-30s/672510/46 "2013-10-31T00:38:56Z")
> [@tullsterx](#): > > I think its all personal. Trends don’t really matter when it comes right down to it. Just get out there and find someone you like, or just be active and social in general and they’ll find you. Trends mean little. Just do what you want and try to have fun with it. It’s only life. What else can you do? Really, this. If you meet someone you click with, then that’s all that matters. I am a 33 year old guy and I am dating a woman five years older than myself who is divorced with children. It’s different that other dating/relationship experiences I’ve had, sure, but in the end we have great chemistry and we really enjoy each other’s company. ---
**Author:** ![TokyoBayer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tokyobayer/32/13989_2.png) [@TokyoBayer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TokyoBayer)\ **Post date:** [October 31, 2013, 1:17am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hard-to-find-dates-in-30s/672510/47 "2013-10-31T01:17:15Z")
> [@robert\_columbia](#): > > What you wrote about your devotion to him and your seemingly inexplicable falling-away is greatly alarming and would frighten me off from getting closer, and probably would for a lot of guys. Sorry to say it, but it’s the truth. The only Great Truth[sup]TM[/sup] in the dating world is that there isn’t any Great Truth[sup]TM[/sup] . There are always going to be deal breakers for people. You can show up in a nice yellow sweater and there will be someone who is going to write you off because he hates women who wear yellow sweaters. I think many people can t realize that feelings can change in one set of circumstances but not in another. I would not worry any more about that than being paranoid about the choice of your wardrobe. > [@ScrubJay81](#): > > > [@bienville](#): > > > > Well, **ScrubJay81** , I was all ready to date you until you mentioned the donated kidney. I need a women who’s still got a kidney to spare. Never know when I might need an extra kidney. > > I was worried about that as well. Thanks your your honesty. I presume this was a woosh. I’m sure that most people wouldn’t care at all. My wife was your age when we met. I’m older and had been married before, without kids. I may draw a lot of ire for this, but when I was in my 40s, I did a lot of dating women in their 30s because I had wanted children. We really liked each other, fell in love, both wanted kids and decided to do what it took to make the relationship work. It’s not all smooth sailing, but we’ve got a good family. > [@PookahMacPhellimey](#): > > The only thing I think that can be a problem is to be in your thirties, \*\*childless and \*\*unhappy about it. I’m personally fine with never having kids, but I have various friends who are desperate to have kids. Guys somehow smell the desperation and run away. Personally, I think that when you’re single and around my age you should try, if you can, to make peace with the idea of possibly not having children or your dating experience is going to be frustrating rather than fun. I think this is great advice, and it works well even without the bolded part or limiting the unattractiveness of desperation to men. Anytime anyone wants to get paired up quickly because they are unhappy being single for whatever reason, isn’t attractive to anyone. ---
**Author:** ![bienville](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/4bbf92/32.png) [@bienville](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/bienville)\ **Post date:** [October 31, 2013, 3:08am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hard-to-find-dates-in-30s/672510/48 "2013-10-31T03:08:34Z")
> [@ScrubJay81](#): > > > [@bienville](#): > > > > Well, **ScrubJay81** , I was all ready to date you until you mentioned the donated kidney. I need a women who’s still got a kidney to spare. Never know when I might need an extra kidney. > > I was worried about that as well. Thanks your your honesty. Ha! No, **ScrubJay81** , I was only kidding! If I need a kidney, I’ll find some drifter whom no one will miss! I can’t imagine the kidney being a deal breaker for anyone. On the contrary, it shows just how dedicated you are to your loved ones. It shows what a very special person you are. ---
**Author:** ![Robot\_Arm](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/robot_arm/32/18280_2.png) [@Robot\_Arm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Robot_Arm)\ **Post date:** [October 31, 2013, 4:46am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hard-to-find-dates-in-30s/672510/49 "2013-10-31T04:46:07Z")
> [@bienville](#): > > I can’t imagine the kidney being a deal breaker for anyone. I don’t think it’s even one of the questions on OKCupid, and they ask _everything_. ---
**Author:** ![PookahMacPhellimey](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/pookahmacphellimey/32/3175_2.png) [@PookahMacPhellimey](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/PookahMacPhellimey)\ **Post date:** [October 31, 2013, 12:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hard-to-find-dates-in-30s/672510/50 "2013-10-31T12:19:41Z")
> [@DigitalC](#): > > It’s slightly harder for women but tons of people still find someone in their 30s. Or 40s, 50’s or 60’s also. It is easier if you are ok with dating older guys, i guess as long as you don’t mind making it worse for older women. And the opposite. I’ve been “cougaring” around some. It’s not that I really like the idea of a young, fit, toyboy (though not at all a bad thing), but perhaps my outlook (my immaturity!) and also the demographis of guys on OKC where I live mean that a fair few of my dates have been younger than me. ---
**Author:** ![Galwegian](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/galwegian/32/3426_2.png) [@Galwegian](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Galwegian)\ **Post date:** [September 2, 2014, 1:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hard-to-find-dates-in-30s/672510/52 "2014-09-02T13:37:03Z")
Reported the zombie spam ---
**Author:** ![GrumpyBunny](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/bc8723/32.png) [@GrumpyBunny](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/GrumpyBunny)\ **Post date:** [September 2, 2014, 1:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hard-to-find-dates-in-30s/672510/53 "2014-09-02T13:48:59Z")
There is a shortage of good dating material, no matter your age. I think it _is_ harder to meet people after college. In college, you get up, you go to class, you go out with friends. Statistics are on your side. Single people everywhere. Less so when you’re \>30. I actually prefer dating now (I’m 44). I’m less pretty than I was in college (but I still don’t frighten children or animals), so the worst of the shallow jerks pass me by. (That sounds like I’m vain; I’m not really. I’m looking at old pics and thinking, “Girl, you had NO beauty issues!”) I met the best guy \*ever \*when I was 35. I’d still be with him if he hadn’t died. They’re out there. The difference is that you have to put yourself out there and take leaps of faith. Hey, dates. It’s eating. You have to eat, right? Just go out to meet friends, and with luck one will be luuuurrrrrvvvv. ---
**Author:** ![GrumpyBunny](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/bc8723/32.png) [@GrumpyBunny](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/GrumpyBunny)\ **Post date:** [September 2, 2014, 1:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hard-to-find-dates-in-30s/672510/54 "2014-09-02T13:52:19Z")
> [@BlinkingDuck](#): > > Contrary to popular belief, women don’t lose ‘value’ in the dating market being in their 30’s. > > Women lose their ‘value’ by: > > - Being very overweight Eh, even that may not be a factor. My weight fluctuates (medication-dependent), and yeah, I’m rather overweight, but I don’t have a problem attracting guys. But I’m also reasonably sane and have no children, so you know. ---
**Author:** ![Dung\_Beetle](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dung_beetle/32/7945_2.png) [@Dung\_Beetle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dung_Beetle)\ **Post date:** [September 2, 2014, 5:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hard-to-find-dates-in-30s/672510/55 "2014-09-02T17:59:03Z")
> [@GrumpyBunny](#): > > But I’m also reasonably sane and have no children, so you know. I think there’s a connection between those two things. -Dung Beetle, parent [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hard-to-find-dates-in-30s/672510.md?page=2)