# Hardened criminals on the loose

**URL:** <https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hardened-criminals-on-the-loose/612271>\
**Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\
**Created:** [February 9, 2012, 3:52am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hardened-criminals-on-the-loose/612271 "2012-02-09T03:52:46Z")\
**Posts on this page:** 5\
**Page:** 2

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**Author:** ![Count\_Blucher](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/c5a1d2/32.png) [@Count\_Blucher](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Count_Blucher)\
**Post date:** [February 10, 2012, 3:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hardened-criminals-on-the-loose/612271/21 "2012-02-10T15:17:38Z")

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I can see the ripped-from-the-headlines movie now:

Andrew McCarthey - Tractor Man  
Kim Cattrall- Dolly

Corporate Logo Sponsor: John Deere  
soundtrack by Jefferson Starship  
“…cause we can be as one forever, pull down this wall together, nothings gonna stop us now…”

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**Author:** ![kirk1168](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/45deac/32.png) [@kirk1168](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kirk1168)\
**Post date:** [February 10, 2012, 11:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hardened-criminals-on-the-loose/612271/22 "2012-02-10T23:33:39Z")

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> [@Zsofia](#):
>
> The last toy mentioned is evidently “a replica of a woman from the waist down” - you mean, like, it cuts off at the waist? It has feet and legs but just stops at the waist? Is that not amazingly creepy?

OH. MY. GOD.

I googled it. It’s on Amazon (all of them actually). I… I really don’t know what to say…

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**Author:** ![Hypno-Toad](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/b2d939/32.png) [@Hypno-Toad](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hypno-Toad)\
**Post date:** [February 11, 2012, 1:52am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hardened-criminals-on-the-loose/612271/23 "2012-02-11T01:52:25Z")

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“Mega Masturbation” sounds so… Hentai.

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**Author:** ![Little\_Nemo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/little_nemo/32/3120_2.png) [@Little\_Nemo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Little_Nemo)\
**Post date:** [February 11, 2012, 2:30am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hardened-criminals-on-the-loose/612271/24 "2012-02-11T02:30:31Z")

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> [@rachelellogram](#):
>
> How does a guy escape apprehension on a _tractor_?

He just plowed through the roadblock.

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**Author:** ![Senegoid](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/senegoid/32/6606_2.png) [@Senegoid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Senegoid)\
**Post date:** [February 11, 2012, 3:24am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hardened-criminals-on-the-loose/612271/25 "2012-02-11T03:24:57Z")

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> [@Soylent\_Juicy](#):
>
> “ **Hardened** ” criminal.
> 
> I see what you did there.
> 
> And I approve.

It’s a case of “before and after”. Hardened, before. After usage of stolen product, hardened criminal gets softened up somewhat.

THEN, maybe, they can catch him and his tractor.

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