# Harmless Doper Crushes **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [May 27, 2005, 8:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/harmless-doper-crushes/305805 "2005-05-27T20:04:29Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 6
**Author:** ![joyfool](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/df788c/32.png) [@joyfool](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/joyfool)\ **Post date:** [May 30, 2005, 9:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/harmless-doper-crushes/305805/101 "2005-05-30T21:47:08Z")
> [@The Mad Hermit](#): > > I’ve thought about this long and hard, and I’ve come to the conclusion that there’s only one person on the SDMB that fits the bill- a thread I will look forward to reading. > > And she started the thread. ::: faints ::: That **Campion** is really good! Now, my favorite **Hermit** , I’ll be emailing you as soon as I can get gmail to _not_ crater my computer every time I try to use it. I’d kick my CPU if I thought it’d help. I think I’ll fan myself some more. And blush. ---
**Author:** ![swampbear](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/swampbear/32/467_2.png) [@swampbear](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/swampbear)\ **Post date:** [May 30, 2005, 9:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/harmless-doper-crushes/305805/102 "2005-05-30T21:51:39Z")
> [@chaoticdonkey](#): > > I think it’s been pretty obvious that **swampbear** is my big SDMB crush. > > Also, there’s **Bambi Hassenpfeffer** and **Sampiro** , even if he thinks that everyone hates him. > > (Is it OK to have 3 board crushes?) Of course it’s ok to have multiple board crushes. For what it’s worth, I’m kinda glad you’re my stalker **chaoticdonkey** even though I’m so way older than you it ain’t even funny, you are a cute lil’ ol’ cubbybear. So, I guess that makes you one of my board crushes. **Homebrew** let his SDMB membership expire but he has always been my big board crush. Fortunately I can still crush him on another board. **Auntie Em** and **Sperfur** are supposed to kidnap him and mail him to me one of these days. As far as other crushes, **jayjay** and **Mockingbird** are two other big crushes. I gots me a lot of doper girlfriends, too. Just to name a few: **FairyChatMom** , **Scotticher** , **Auntie Em** , **sperfur** (does she even post here anymore?), **Kallessa** (she smokes, drinks and gambles what’s not to love!), **Taters** , **Tupug Anachi** , **LifeOnWry**. **picunurse** (she painted me the coolest placard for swampfest in Seattle!) and a bunch of others. There’s some of the straight doper guys I’m crushed on too and they know who they are. I ain’t sayin’ no more about that. Those are my confessions. For now, anyways. ---
**Author:** ![Feydeau](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/df788c/32.png) [@Feydeau](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Feydeau)\ **Post date:** [May 30, 2005, 10:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/harmless-doper-crushes/305805/103 "2005-05-30T22:13:08Z")
Well, after my last pit thread I think everyone thinks I’m a total ass. But yknow, **Sampiro** could eat crackers in my bed any day. Or any night. Or, well, anytime, really. I’m flexible. It’s that whole southern-guy-working-in-a-library thing. _So_ hot. Okay. I’ve said too much. :::runs away from thread::: ---
**Author:** ![Campion](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/4491bb/32.png) [@Campion](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Campion)\ **Post date:** [May 30, 2005, 10:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/harmless-doper-crushes/305805/104 "2005-05-30T22:37:51Z")
> [@faithfool](#): > > That **Campion** is really good! Thank you; I try to use my powers only for good. I’m still working on the other two for you. _::squinches eyes, looks thoughtful::_ Any minute now . . . ---
**Author:** ![DirkGntly](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/d9b06d/32.png) [@DirkGntly](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DirkGntly)\ **Post date:** [May 30, 2005, 10:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/harmless-doper-crushes/305805/105 "2005-05-30T22:52:23Z")
Gosh, where to start - I’m such a DOM (Dirty Old Man)… **baker** **Harimad-sol** (yes, I know she’s bi - something about that really appeals to my naughty, naughty side) **hillbilly queen** , without a doubt **vivalostwages** There have been others, to be certain, but they have moved along to other boards, or just don’t post here regularly anymore… …and I don’t think anyone’s crushing on me. I’m not a very prolific poster, and not a very witty wordsmith…but if anyone’s interested, [here](http://galaxybilliards.homestead.com/dirk.html) I am. (I’m the GUY on that page, people!!) So, maybe I can make it on my _looks_, if you like the 6ft-tall linebacker-type, that is… ---
**Author:** ![Telperien](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/65b543/32.png) [@Telperien](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Telperien)\ **Post date:** [May 30, 2005, 10:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/harmless-doper-crushes/305805/106 "2005-05-30T22:58:29Z")
> [@DirkGntly](#): > > **Harimad-sol** (yes, I know she’s bi - something about that really appeals to my naughty, naughty side) Thank you. Though I’m probably the least naughty bi girl anyone’s ever likely to meet. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![DirkGntly](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/d9b06d/32.png) [@DirkGntly](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DirkGntly)\ **Post date:** [May 30, 2005, 11:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/harmless-doper-crushes/305805/107 "2005-05-30T23:21:10Z")
> [@Harimad-sol](#): > > Thank you. Though I’m probably the least naughty bi girl anyone’s ever likely to meet. 😃 Now, don’t go killing my little Doper-fantasy… ---
**Author:** ![Telperien](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/65b543/32.png) [@Telperien](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Telperien)\ **Post date:** [May 31, 2005, 12:08am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/harmless-doper-crushes/305805/108 "2005-05-31T00:08:59Z")
> [@DirkGntly](#): > > Now, don’t go killing my little Doper-fantasy… Perhaps I’ll go chat up some of the ladies, if that would help. ---
**Author:** ![Sampiro](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/2acd7d/32.png) [@Sampiro](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sampiro)\ **Post date:** [May 31, 2005, 12:16am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/harmless-doper-crushes/305805/109 "2005-05-31T00:16:17Z")
_Comic Book Guy: There is… no emoticon… to describe what I’m feeling._ Why can’t you people live in Tuscaloosa, Alabama? (Wait, strike that, I wouldn’t wish that on you.) Dope crushes, I’ve had a few, but then again, too many to mention, and if I named names I’d leave somebody out and Chad Lowe’s tears would have been in vain. (I will say that when my _Benevolent Oligarchy_ takes power, I intend to install Eve as my combination Queen Consort & Minister of Culture & Enlightened Commentary, but biocultural orientations being what they are she’ll be free to return to her own ample apartments at evenings end.) ---
**Author:** ![MikeG](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mikeg/32/4329_2.png) [@MikeG](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MikeG)\ **Post date:** [May 31, 2005, 12:18am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/harmless-doper-crushes/305805/110 "2005-05-31T00:18:57Z")
I’ve had a couple. Nothing much came of them and I have remained good friends with some. ---
**Author:** ![chaoticbear](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/f07891/32.png) [@chaoticbear](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/chaoticbear)\ **Post date:** [May 31, 2005, 1:32am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/harmless-doper-crushes/305805/111 "2005-05-31T01:32:40Z")
> [@swampbear](#): > > I’m kinda glad you’re my stalker **chaoticdonkey** even though I’m so way older than you it ain’t even funny, you are a cute lil’ ol’ cubbybear. So, I guess that makes you one of my board crushes. That’s OK. My last boyfriend was 56. 😛 No, seriously, he was. But yay! I’m a board crush for _someone_, even if it is only you. ---
**Author:** ![Liz](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/liz/32/17737_2.png) [@Liz](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Liz)\ **Post date:** [May 31, 2005, 2:03am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/harmless-doper-crushes/305805/112 "2005-05-31T02:03:56Z")
**Eve**. Yeah, yeah. She’s straight and I already have a girlfriend, but those are tiny, insignificant obstacles. Miniscule! Right? Right? Hey, guys? Damn it. ---
**Author:** ![Sampiro](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/2acd7d/32.png) [@Sampiro](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sampiro)\ **Post date:** [May 31, 2005, 2:14am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/harmless-doper-crushes/305805/113 "2005-05-31T02:14:26Z")
> [@chaoticdonkey](#): > > That’s OK. My last boyfriend was 56. 😛 > > No, seriously, he was. > [@Psychiatrist](#): > > It is known as the Oedipus Complex, a very common neurosis, particularly in this society, whereby the male child subconsciously wishes to sleep with his mother. Of course, what puzzles me, Harold, is that you want to sleep with your grandmother. As somebody with an 18 year old nephew (actually he’s 17 or 13 or one of those ages with a ‘1’ in front of it and I barely know him, but consanguinity helps in faking righteous indignation) I have to say “Eww!” and “Howl! Howl! Howl!” to Ol’ Grampa Walton for hooking up with such an innocent lad. OTOH, as somebody who’s as close to 56 as he is to your age I have say “Yeaaaa!” The last two guys I dated were separated by 40 years- one was a 60 year old on rebound from his partner of 30 years (who I’m glad to say he went back to- I hate for such tenured relationships to cease) and I never thought of the age difference. He really was young at heart without being immature and through countless hours of tennis had a far better body than I do (not that that’s saying [a lot)](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=318937). The other, who I mentioned [here on the board](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=298245&highlight=young+handsome+sampiro), is young and brilliant and cute as hell, and while it didn’t blossom into a great gay novel we’re still friends and talk over e-mail and see each other with some regularity and the age difference wasn’t near as trying as I imagined. (Music was the main difference, but I rarely meet anybody my own age with the same musical tastes- actually, the 60 year old was the closest it came to that.) ---
**Author:** ![Mirror\_Image\_egamI\_rorriM](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/e56c9b/32.png) [@Mirror\_Image\_egamI\_rorriM](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mirror_Image_egamI_rorriM)\ **Post date:** [May 31, 2005, 4:19am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/harmless-doper-crushes/305805/114 "2005-05-31T04:19:52Z")
I love **Electronic Chaos** very much, although mostly off-board. ---
**Author:** ![Regallag\_The\_Axe](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/regallag_the_axe/32/445_2.png) [@Regallag\_The\_Axe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Regallag_The_Axe)\ **Post date:** [May 31, 2005, 4:57am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/harmless-doper-crushes/305805/115 "2005-05-31T04:57:08Z")
I have and still do look forwrd to posts by people whom I find funny/entertaining/informative, but that’s all. I’ve never had a crush on someone whom I’ve not met in person, here, or anywhere else, though, so maybe I’m just wierd. ---
**Author:** ![inkleberry](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/f17d59/32.png) [@inkleberry](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/inkleberry)\ **Post date:** [May 31, 2005, 6:33am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/harmless-doper-crushes/305805/116 "2005-05-31T06:33:15Z")
I admit it. I have a bit of a crush on **Snooooopy**. But I’m married with a Tinkleberry, and so I’ll just continue to blush madly and pretend I never posted this. ---
**Author:** ![chaoticbear](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/f07891/32.png) [@chaoticbear](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/chaoticbear)\ **Post date:** [May 31, 2005, 12:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/harmless-doper-crushes/305805/117 "2005-05-31T12:51:43Z")
> [@Sampiro](#): > > As somebody with an 18 year old nephew (actually he’s 17 or 13 or one of those ages with a ‘1’ in front of it and I barely know him, but consanguinity helps in faking righteous indignation) I have to say “Eww!” and “Howl! Howl! Howl!” to Ol’ Grampa Walton for hooking up with such an innocent lad. Well, I must say that he was neither a grandparent nor a Walton. Or close to a Walton. Or vaguely approaching a Walton. > [@](#): > > The other, who I mentioned [here on the board](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=298245&highlight=young+handsome+sampiro), is young and brilliant and cute as hell, and while it didn’t blossom into a great gay novel we’re still friends and talk over e-mail and see each other with some regularity and the age difference wasn’t near as trying as I imagined. I’m going to have to admit to reading that and going “20 years? Pshhhh.” 😛 We didn’t write a novel (probably because no one would ever be able to read it… he had a very eccentric set of vocabulary, due to his liking languages. He corrupted every word in every language he spoke at some point. :D) or anything, but I speak with him about as much as I do my other friends. ---
**Author:** ![dropzone](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dropzone/32/7515_2.png) [@dropzone](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dropzone)\ **Post date:** [May 31, 2005, 1:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/harmless-doper-crushes/305805/118 "2005-05-31T13:59:01Z")
> [@Big Bad Voodoo Lou](#): > > Nobody mentioned me? Nor me. I prefer to think there can be no _harmless_ crushes on me, only highly destructive ones. ---
**Author:** ![Sunspace](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/sunspace/32/1250_2.png) [@Sunspace](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sunspace)\ **Post date:** [May 31, 2005, 3:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/harmless-doper-crushes/305805/119 "2005-05-31T15:10:28Z")
> [@Kythereia](#): > > I am totally and completely crushing on… **Sunspace** … ::blush :: Aww… your posts are so enthusiastic… I have a BoardCrush on you too, **Kyth** … alas that we are separated by such tragic barriers of age and generation… And of course I have BoardCrushes for **Anaamika** , **Angua** , **Twickster** , **Eve** , **Harimad-Sol** (chimes in with **DrkGntly** : “yes, I know she’s bi - something about that really appeals to my naughty, naughty side” 😃 ), **Scotticher** , **Hillbilly Queen** , **Atheist Princess** , **Eats\_Crayons** , **emeraldgrue** , **calm\_kiwi** … and I’m sure I’ve missed more than a few… and then there’s **faeriebeth** in this thread: > [@](#): > > [I h]ave always been a Maryann, rather than a Ginger. Well, there’s a new crush right there. 😉 ---
**Author:** ![av8rmike](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/edb3f5/32.png) [@av8rmike](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/av8rmike)\ **Post date:** [May 31, 2005, 3:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/harmless-doper-crushes/305805/120 "2005-05-31T15:51:53Z")
I just don’t post enough to get a mention anymore. … not like I ever did before… 🙂 [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/harmless-doper-crushes/305805.md?page=5) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/harmless-doper-crushes/305805.md?page=7)