# Harry Potter and the Amazingly Stupid Fuckwits **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [January 16, 2003, 11:37am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/harry-potter-and-the-amazingly-stupid-fuckwits/148948 "2003-01-16T11:37:07Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![scout1222](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/34f0e0/32.png) [@scout1222](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/scout1222)\ **Post date:** [January 16, 2003, 5:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/harry-potter-and-the-amazingly-stupid-fuckwits/148948/21 "2003-01-16T17:30:17Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Jack Batty \* > \*\*Besides it takes time to come up with all those Huffle-Rumple Lickle-Dickle names. \*\* Bwa ha ha ha!!! Yeah, those things just don’t roll of the tongue, now, do they?? ---
**Author:** ![Duck\_Duck\_Goose](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/50afbb/32.png) [@Duck\_Duck\_Goose](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Duck_Duck_Goose)\ **Post date:** [January 16, 2003, 8:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/harry-potter-and-the-amazingly-stupid-fuckwits/148948/22 "2003-01-16T20:42:03Z")
Tansu, I think you’re probably right. It hadn’t occurred to me that B & N would do that, but I suppose that any hype is better than no hype. > [@](#): > > _Steve:_ > **there appears to be no limit to the dimwittedness of amateur book reviewers on Amazon and Barnes & Noble.** And I think we’re actually seeing the dimwittedness bar being raised with Harry Potter. From Book 4 [reviews:](http://search.barnesandnoble.com/booksearch/isbninquiry.asp?userid=19K9Z8D9FI&ean=9780439139601&displayonly=CRV&idx=0#CRV) > [@](#): > > January 9, 2003, > > this is by far the best book. two questions. when is the next book? and, how long is the next book? > > … > > January 6, 2003, > > These books are so interesting I read them all day long.I can’t wait for the fifth book if there is going to be a fifth book. These two evidently didn’t get the memo. > [@](#): > > AMY, IN LOVE WITH HARRY POTTER BOOKS!, December 20, 2002, > THE BEST BOOK EVER!! > THIS BOOK IS SOO GOOD!! I HAVE READ IT 4 TIMES AND IM ON MY 5TH BUT ALMOST DONE!! IT IS SOOO GOOD! BUY IT! YOU WILL LOVE IT I GARENTEE!!! ITS THE BEST BOOK IN THE WORLD!! I WILL BET THAT THE NEXT ONE (HARRY POTTER AND THE ORDER OF THE PHEONIX) WILL BE JUST AS GOOD AND IF NOT BETTER! READ IT!! \<\< struggling to feet after being blown away by Caps Lock barrage \>\> > [@](#): > > Karen, a high school student, December 30, 2002, > > Despite the fact that Ms. Rowling’s Harry Potter stories are fantastic, what makes me appreciate the series more is the extent to which children are willing to read. As a senior in high school, I try to do as little reading as possible. I read all four Harry Potter books in one week, despite my previous disliking to reading… And the scary thing is that next year, Karen will be old enough to vote, and presumably as a voter, she will still try to do as little reading as possible… ---
**Author:** ![Duck\_Duck\_Goose](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/50afbb/32.png) [@Duck\_Duck\_Goose](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Duck_Duck_Goose)\ **Post date:** [January 17, 2003, 6:47am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/harry-potter-and-the-amazingly-stupid-fuckwits/148948/23 "2003-01-17T06:47:51Z")
> [@](#): > > New Potter already No. 1 seller > Thursday, January 16, 2003 > > LONDON, England (AP) – Muggles mania has arrived with the publication date of J.K. Rowling’s fifth book about wide-eyed junior wizard Harry Potter. > > Within hours of Wednesday’s announcement that “Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix” would be in bookstores on June 21, the book hit No. 1 on [Amazon.com](http://Amazon.com)’s best-seller list. Oy. :smack: [http://www.cnn.com/2003/SHOWBIZ/books/01/16/harry.potter.ap/index.html](http://www.cnn.com/2003/SHOWBIZ/books/01/16/harry.potter.ap/index.html) ---
**Author:** ![DreadCthulhu](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/db5fbb/32.png) [@DreadCthulhu](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DreadCthulhu)\ **Post date:** [January 17, 2003, 6:47am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/harry-potter-and-the-amazingly-stupid-fuckwits/148948/24 "2003-01-17T06:47:55Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Steve Wright \* > \*\* The _real_ explanation, of course, is that the books can only come out when the Stars Are Right … \*\* YOU STOLE MY LINE!!! 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![susan](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/susan/32/17537_2.png) [@susan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/susan)\ **Post date:** [January 17, 2003, 7:18am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/harry-potter-and-the-amazingly-stupid-fuckwits/148948/25 "2003-01-17T07:18:37Z")
It’s number one on the bestseller list because people have preordered it. This has nothing to do with whether it’s any good. When B&N enabled the review link, do you really think the children who wrote the “reviews” gave a damn about whether the book’s out? This is their way to say “I’m excited!” Does it really matter how many stars it gets on Amazon? Is that going to influence whether you buy it or not? Yeesh. ---
**Author:** ![Cisco](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/ccd318/32.png) [@Cisco](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cisco)\ **Post date:** [January 17, 2003, 7:23am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/harry-potter-and-the-amazingly-stupid-fuckwits/148948/26 "2003-01-17T07:23:51Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Shoshana \* > \*\*Does it really matter how many stars it gets on Amazon? Is that going to influence whether you buy it or not? > \*\* Well, I hate to sound like an automaton but uhhh yea, kinda. That _is_ what the system is there for. ---
**Author:** ![Ukulele\_Ike](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/u/df788c/32.png) [@Ukulele\_Ike](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ukulele_Ike)\ **Post date:** [January 17, 2003, 2:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/harry-potter-and-the-amazingly-stupid-fuckwits/148948/27 "2003-01-17T14:12:45Z")
Not in this case. HP-V is a prime example of what the book professionals call a “review-proof” product. ---
**Author:** ![Jackmannii](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jackmannii/32/311_2.png) [@Jackmannii](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jackmannii)\ **Post date:** [January 17, 2003, 2:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/harry-potter-and-the-amazingly-stupid-fuckwits/148948/28 "2003-01-17T14:28:29Z")
I “garantee” I’m a-gonna puke. ---
**Author:** ![catsix](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/e19b73/32.png) [@catsix](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/catsix)\ **Post date:** [January 17, 2003, 2:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/harry-potter-and-the-amazingly-stupid-fuckwits/148948/29 "2003-01-17T14:51:36Z")
> [@](#): > > And the scary thing is that next year, Karen will be old enough to vote, and presumably as a voter, she will still try to do as little reading as possible… And if she reads as little as possible, why on earth would she pick up a newspaper to find out where her local polling place is, or read the voter registration form in order to fill it out, or hell even bother to show up at a voting booth, because after all, you gotta read the damn ballot. ---
**Author:** ![Catamount](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/catamount/32/2840_2.png) [@Catamount](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Catamount)\ **Post date:** [January 17, 2003, 2:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/harry-potter-and-the-amazingly-stupid-fuckwits/148948/30 "2003-01-17T14:55:34Z")
Does anybody else have the sneaking suspicion that book 5 is going to suck worse than books 1-4? Boy I sure do! ---
**Author:** ![istara](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/e79b87/32.png) [@istara](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/istara)\ **Post date:** [January 17, 2003, 3:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/harry-potter-and-the-amazingly-stupid-fuckwits/148948/31 "2003-01-17T15:41:07Z")
Yes - I do. I know I will still enjoy it, but it will be tinged with that same disappointment I got from Book 4 - that it wasn’t tightly written enough to be as gripping or well structured as the first three (particularly book 3 which was excellent) and that it needed a damn good edit. I also got sick of the Unquestionable Superlativeness of Harry. It was sickmaking that a whole contest had to be invented just so he could win it - and by that I mean for the sake of the author, not the feeble plot denouement reason that is written down the in book. Yeah - it’s nice to have a bit of Harry heroics on the sporting field. It’s great that he has some special powers. But he’s rapidly becoming a Straight-A Student Bore. ---
**Author:** ![Duck\_Duck\_Goose](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/50afbb/32.png) [@Duck\_Duck\_Goose](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Duck_Duck_Goose)\ **Post date:** [January 17, 2003, 10:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/harry-potter-and-the-amazingly-stupid-fuckwits/148948/32 "2003-01-17T22:22:54Z")
I enjoy pretending to myself that somewhere in the depths of Book Five, someone will hand Harry a joint and turn him on to _druuuuuugs_… hey, it could happen ---
**Author:** ![DrFidelius](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/drfidelius/32/3447_2.png) [@DrFidelius](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DrFidelius)\ **Post date:** [January 18, 2003, 3:18am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/harry-potter-and-the-amazingly-stupid-fuckwits/148948/33 "2003-01-18T03:18:02Z")
> [@](#): > > ## quote: > > ## And the scary thing is that next year, Karen will be old enough to vote, and presumably as a voter, she will still try to do as little reading as possible… > > And if she reads as little as possible, why on earth would she pick up a newspaper to find out where her local polling place is, or read the voter registration form in order to fill it out, or hell even bother to show up at a voting booth, because after all, you gotta read the damn ballot. She won’t have to do all that if she’s a Democrat. ---
**Author:** ![Jurhael](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/cab0a1/32.png) [@Jurhael](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jurhael)\ **Post date:** [January 18, 2003, 3:57am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/harry-potter-and-the-amazingly-stupid-fuckwits/148948/34 "2003-01-18T03:57:00Z")
Dr. Fidelius: “She won’t have to do all that if she’s a Democrat.” Or a Republican. Hey, it HAD to be done. Eheheh Anyway, I started on the first book now. It’s okay, I guess. The only person that interests me is Severus Snape! 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Badtz\_Maru](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/e36b37/32.png) [@Badtz\_Maru](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Badtz_Maru)\ **Post date:** [January 18, 2003, 6:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/harry-potter-and-the-amazingly-stupid-fuckwits/148948/35 "2003-01-18T18:31:19Z")
Well, I just submitted a review, criticizing the strong sexual content in book 5 and suggesting she should have saved the homosexual sex and bestiality for a later book when Harry was older, but I don’t know if it will show up. ---
**Author:** ![grendel72](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/91b2a8/32.png) [@grendel72](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/grendel72)\ **Post date:** [January 18, 2003, 6:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/harry-potter-and-the-amazingly-stupid-fuckwits/148948/36 "2003-01-18T18:49:50Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Duck Duck Goose \* > **And I think we’re actually seeing the dimwittedness bar being raised with Harry Potter.** Jesus H. Christ people. These are kids books, those reviews are being written by kids. What the fuck do you expect? Opening the reviews before the new book is released is rediculous, but making fun of little kids is just fucking vile. ---
**Author:** ![istara](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/e79b87/32.png) [@istara](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/istara)\ **Post date:** [January 18, 2003, 8:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/harry-potter-and-the-amazingly-stupid-fuckwits/148948/37 "2003-01-18T20:37:59Z")
I have the sneaking horrible suspicion they’re not so “little”… maybe well into their teens. ---
**Author:** ![Nutty\_Bunny](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/d07c76/32.png) [@Nutty\_Bunny](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Nutty_Bunny)\ **Post date:** [January 18, 2003, 8:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/harry-potter-and-the-amazingly-stupid-fuckwits/148948/38 "2003-01-18T20:53:43Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Badtz Maru \* > \*\*Well, I just submitted a review, criticizing the strong sexual content in book 5 and suggesting she should have saved the homosexual sex and bestiality for a later book when Harry was older, but I don’t know if it will show up. \*\* Are you serious?!? :eek: Do you really think it’s appropriate to mention sex and beastiality in a place where a lot of children will be reading? Although, if I’ve just been whooshed, it wouldn’t be the first time. ---
**Author:** ![Duck\_Duck\_Goose](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/50afbb/32.png) [@Duck\_Duck\_Goose](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Duck_Duck_Goose)\ **Post date:** [January 18, 2003, 9:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/harry-potter-and-the-amazingly-stupid-fuckwits/148948/39 "2003-01-18T21:18:19Z")
Grendel, you might bear in mind that unless the reviewer puts an age in the review, we actually have no way of knowing whether the author of, “_Read the other 4 and can’t wait for more! The other 4 books were so great!! I recomended them to my sister and now she’s yelling at me to get her more!! I couldn’t put any of them down! I gotta get the other book!_” is 10 years old, or 16, or 23, or 59. We are _assuming_, jokingly, that they’re all 10-year-olds, because of the level of burbling dimwittedness, but the fact is that these reviews could just as easily have been written by adults with 10-year-old reading levels. As a matter of fact, the writing style reminds me strongly of a cross between Martha Stewart and that _Entertainment Tonight_ popsy, what was her name anyway… Now, if these were reviews from a kids website like Disney or Nickelodeon, that would be different. But Barnes and Noble is an adult website–how are all these kids getting here? Therefore, it’s not unreasonable to assume that the majority of these dimwitted B & N Harry Potter reviews are actually being written by dimwitted teens and adults. So, no, we are not necessarily, automatically, “making fun of little kids”. And, besides, making fun of dimwittedness is **never** vile. It’s almost a public service. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![grendel72](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/91b2a8/32.png) [@grendel72](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/grendel72)\ **Post date:** [January 18, 2003, 9:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/harry-potter-and-the-amazingly-stupid-fuckwits/148948/40 "2003-01-18T21:25:51Z")
Well, _vile_ was an overstatement. I’m just saying that these are children’s books, so it would seem logical to assume that a poorly written review is coming from a child (who is not “ignorant”, but in the process of learning) rather than an adult. The level of enthusiasm displayed would also indicate, to me, that the writers are not very mature. I am in full agreement that accepting reviews before the book is released is stupid, it just seems a little mean to be making fun of the writers. The people who screwed up are the ones running the B&N website, IMHO. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/harry-potter-and-the-amazingly-stupid-fuckwits/148948.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/harry-potter-and-the-amazingly-stupid-fuckwits/148948.md?page=3)