# Harry Potter V is here! **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [July 5, 2002, 6:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/harry-potter-v-is-here/117523 "2002-07-05T18:37:26Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![zev\_steinhardt](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/97f17d/32.png) [@zev\_steinhardt](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/zev_steinhardt)\ **Post date:** [July 5, 2002, 6:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/harry-potter-v-is-here/117523/1 "2002-07-05T18:37:26Z")
… well, actually it’s in China. And [it’s a fake.](http://story.news.yahoo.com/news?tmpl=story&ncid=529&e=2&cid=529&u=/ap/20020705/ap_en_ot/china_potter_purloined_3) Harry Potter and and Leopard-Walk-Up-To-Dragon has been released in China. The book has J.K. Rowling’s name on the cover, and her bio on the inside, but it’s a fake. Rowling didn’t write it. Zev Steinhardt ---
**Author:** ![Amp](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/6a8cbe/32.png) [@Amp](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Amp)\ **Post date:** [July 5, 2002, 6:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/harry-potter-v-is-here/117523/2 "2002-07-05T18:53:48Z")
Damn you. My heart skipped a few beats as I read the title and waited for the page to load. ---
**Author:** ![VenusGirlTrap](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/58956e/32.png) [@VenusGirlTrap](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/VenusGirlTrap)\ **Post date:** [July 5, 2002, 6:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/harry-potter-v-is-here/117523/3 "2002-07-05T18:58:45Z")
I didn’t even know there was a fourth book yet. What is it called? ---
**Author:** ![partly\_warmer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/bc8723/32.png) [@partly\_warmer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/partly_warmer)\ **Post date:** [July 5, 2002, 7:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/harry-potter-v-is-here/117523/4 "2002-07-05T19:04:56Z")
Wait a minute, there’s a third book? ---
**Author:** ![lawoot](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/35a633/32.png) [@lawoot](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lawoot)\ **Post date:** [July 5, 2002, 7:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/harry-potter-v-is-here/117523/5 "2002-07-05T19:13:22Z")
When did she finish the **second** one? ---
**Author:** ![Mtgman](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/b5a626/32.png) [@Mtgman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mtgman)\ **Post date:** [July 5, 2002, 7:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/harry-potter-v-is-here/117523/6 "2002-07-05T19:25:02Z")
Here are the titles in order of publication. Harry Potter and the Sorcerer’s Stone Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire The fifth book has not yet been released. Enjoy, Steven ---
**Author:** ![Inky\_1](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/7feea3/32.png) [@Inky\_1](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Inky_1)\ **Post date:** [July 5, 2002, 7:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/harry-potter-v-is-here/117523/7 "2002-07-05T19:27:11Z")
**Other poorly translated Chinese Harry Potter books you can expect:** Harry Potter and Joyful Adventure with Magical Stick Harry Potter and Adventure of Pre-Teen Beast Riding. Harry Potter and Morning of Giant Surprise. ---
**Author:** ![zev\_steinhardt](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/97f17d/32.png) [@zev\_steinhardt](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/zev_steinhardt)\ **Post date:** [July 5, 2002, 7:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/harry-potter-v-is-here/117523/8 "2002-07-05T19:27:21Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Mtgman \* > \*\*The fifth book has not yet been released. > > \*\* But the title has been released. It’s [drumroll] Harry Potter and the Order of the Pheonix. Zev Steinhardt ---
**Author:** ![PlanMan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/2bfe46/32.png) [@PlanMan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/PlanMan)\ **Post date:** [July 5, 2002, 7:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/harry-potter-v-is-here/117523/9 "2002-07-05T19:40:35Z")
Is it going to be longer than its predecessors, like each of its predecessors has been? If so, you’ll need a hand truck to carry it around. JK seems to have Tom Clancy-itis - remember how short and economical of words “Hunt For Red October” was, and how each of Tom’s subsequent fiction books got longer and more involved? ---
**Author:** ![partly\_warmer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/bc8723/32.png) [@partly\_warmer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/partly_warmer)\ **Post date:** [July 5, 2002, 7:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/harry-potter-v-is-here/117523/10 "2002-07-05T19:59:48Z")
Yes, as someone once said “Sorry for the long letter, but I didn’t have enough time to make it shorter.” ---
**Author:** ![partly\_warmer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/bc8723/32.png) [@partly\_warmer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/partly_warmer)\ **Post date:** [July 5, 2002, 8:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/harry-potter-v-is-here/117523/11 "2002-07-05T20:03:11Z")
It’s taking longer because this time she’s decided to write it in English… ---
**Author:** ![Munch](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/munch/32/5281_2.png) [@Munch](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Munch)\ **Post date:** [July 5, 2002, 8:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/harry-potter-v-is-here/117523/12 "2002-07-05T20:12:21Z")
I heard that it, and the subsequent VI and VII, will be shorter than Goblet of Fire. Goblet is supposed to be the centerpiece. ---
**Author:** ![Gozu\_Tashoya](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/7993a0/32.png) [@Gozu\_Tashoya](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gozu_Tashoya)\ **Post date:** [July 5, 2002, 8:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/harry-potter-v-is-here/117523/13 "2002-07-05T20:26:27Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by zev\_steinhardt \* > \*\* > > But the title has been released. It’s > > [drumroll] > > Harry Potter and the Order of the Pheonix. > > Zev Steinhardt \*\* This is, of course, likely to change. Harry Potter and the Doomspell Tournament, anyone? ---
**Author:** ![KneadToKnow](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kneadtoknow/32/3999_2.png) [@KneadToKnow](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/KneadToKnow)\ **Post date:** [July 5, 2002, 8:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/harry-potter-v-is-here/117523/14 "2002-07-05T20:49:11Z")
> [@](#): > > Leopard-Walk-Up-To-Dragon That damn leopard always gets it wrong. It’s walk up to Dragon, turn left, walk over to Third, turn right, coffee shop second on the left, three creams, four sugars. Goddamn leopards always screwing up my orders gonna get fired one of these goddamn days when we get some better help around here. ---
**Author:** ![FisherQueen](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/58f4c7/32.png) [@FisherQueen](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/FisherQueen)\ **Post date:** [July 5, 2002, 9:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/harry-potter-v-is-here/117523/15 "2002-07-05T21:56:03Z")
Don’t DO that! You are a sick, sick person. I read the title, and got all anticipatory, and now it’s back to a sad, dark, potterless world. Let me tell you, at this point I’m about ready to read the Chinese version on the grounds that it’s better than nothing. ---
**Author:** ![mobo85](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/b19c9b/32.png) [@mobo85](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/mobo85)\ **Post date:** [July 6, 2002, 12:35am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/harry-potter-v-is-here/117523/16 "2002-07-06T00:35:20Z")
> [@](#): > > “Harry is wondering in his bath how long it will take to wash away the creamy cake from his face. To a grown-up, handsome young man, it is disgusting to have filthy dirt on his body. Lying in a luxurious bathtub and rubbing his face with his hands, he thinks about Dudley’s face, which is as fat as Aunt Petunia’s bottom.” > -First paragraph of _Harry Potter and Leopard-Walk-Up-To-Dragon_ Sounds wonderful. I never knew Harry was that interested in personal hygine. I wonder if he touts the joys of communism later on in the book. ---
**Author:** ![Speaker\_for\_the\_Dead](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/c77e96/32.png) [@Speaker\_for\_the\_Dead](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Speaker_for_the_Dead)\ **Post date:** [July 6, 2002, 1:14am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/harry-potter-v-is-here/117523/17 "2002-07-06T01:14:12Z")
Am I the only one that laughed when I read “creamy cake”? ---
**Author:** ![Inky\_1](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/7feea3/32.png) [@Inky\_1](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Inky_1)\ **Post date:** [July 6, 2002, 2:22am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/harry-potter-v-is-here/117523/18 "2002-07-06T02:22:36Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Speaker for the Dead \* > \*\*Am I the only one that laughed when I read “creamy cake”? \*\* Wow! And I thought _I_ was overdoing the double entendres. ---
**Author:** ![Necris](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/e47c2d/32.png) [@Necris](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Necris)\ **Post date:** [July 6, 2002, 10:13am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/harry-potter-v-is-here/117523/19 "2002-07-06T10:13:53Z")
hmm…i wish we could get the fake one here…it seems rather enjoyable. I’d really like to read more about Aunt Petunias bottom. ---
**Author:** ![carnivorousplant](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/carnivorousplant/32/3563_2.png) [@carnivorousplant](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/carnivorousplant)\ **Post date:** [July 6, 2002, 4:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/harry-potter-v-is-here/117523/20 "2002-07-06T16:57:26Z")
Harry Potter and His Flying Lab. [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/harry-potter-v-is-here/117523.md?page=2)