# Harry Potter V is here! **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [July 5, 2002, 6:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/harry-potter-v-is-here/117523 "2002-07-05T18:37:26Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 11\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![d12](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/71c47a/32.png) [@d12](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/d12)\ **Post date:** [July 6, 2002, 6:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/harry-potter-v-is-here/117523/21 "2002-07-06T18:03:35Z")
Harry’s next course material: Communism: We Love You How To Subdue A Democractic System Lover IV How To Cook Creamy Cakes. ---
**Author:** ![carnivorousplant](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/carnivorousplant/32/3563_2.png) [@carnivorousplant](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/carnivorousplant)\ **Post date:** [July 6, 2002, 6:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/harry-potter-v-is-here/117523/22 "2002-07-06T18:17:58Z")
Harry Potter and The Five Yead Plan. The Little Red Book of Harry Potter. Harry Potter and the Runaway Province. Harry Potter and the Capitalist Running Dogs. ---
**Author:** ![carnivorousplant](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/carnivorousplant/32/3563_2.png) [@carnivorousplant](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/carnivorousplant)\ **Post date:** [July 6, 2002, 6:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/harry-potter-v-is-here/117523/23 "2002-07-06T18:21:29Z")
Harry Potter and the Spell Checker. Harry Potter and the Five YEAR plan. ---
**Author:** ![partly\_warmer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/bc8723/32.png) [@partly\_warmer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/partly_warmer)\ **Post date:** [July 6, 2002, 6:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/harry-potter-v-is-here/117523/24 "2002-07-06T18:59:18Z")
Bertie Bott’s All Preservative Beans HP and the Internet Owls Young Wizards Do 10,000 Hours Community Service Marvellous Wee Me ---
**Author:** ![Speaker\_for\_the\_Dead](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/c77e96/32.png) [@Speaker\_for\_the\_Dead](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Speaker_for_the_Dead)\ **Post date:** [July 10, 2002, 5:57am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/harry-potter-v-is-here/117523/25 "2002-07-10T05:57:00Z")
Wait wait wait, I though Aunt Pentunia was _bony_, so doesn’t that mean that if Dudley’s face was as fat as her bottom, either she has some fat butt, or he has a thin face… Or maybe I remember wrong. ---
**Author:** ![booklover](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/85f322/32.png) [@booklover](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/booklover)\ **Post date:** [July 10, 2002, 1:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/harry-potter-v-is-here/117523/26 "2002-07-10T13:43:00Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by zev\_steinhardt \* > \*\* > > But the title has been released. It’s > > [drumroll] > > Harry Potter and the Order of the Pheonix. > > Zev Steinhardt \*\* But if her publisher has a good proofreader, it might be changed to **Phoenix**. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![screech-owl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/82dd89/32.png) [@screech-owl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/screech-owl)\ **Post date:** [July 10, 2002, 2:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/harry-potter-v-is-here/117523/27 "2002-07-10T14:17:56Z")
> [@](#): > > \*\*_Originally posted by zev\_steinhardt_ > > But the title has been released. It’s > [drumroll] > Harry Potter and the Order of the Pheonix. > > \*Originally posted by booklover \* > > But if her publisher has a good proofreader, it might be changed to **Phoenix**. 😃 \*\* Phunny. **Pheonix** is the spelling used by Thomas Abrams for charitable and financial corporations fronting his Ponzi schemes. Where did these happen? Why West Palm Beach (FL), of course! Looks like Harry’s in cahoots as the Chinese connection. ---
**Author:** ![Olentzero](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/90ced4/32.png) [@Olentzero](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Olentzero)\ **Post date:** [July 10, 2002, 6:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/harry-potter-v-is-here/117523/28 "2002-07-10T18:34:39Z")
“Of course, wizarding have not the power to command minds of simpler men as does four principles of Chairman Mao,” Harry said. “Chairman Mao has filthy dirt on his body,” Drako sneer in simpering upper-class drawl. nuts, I have no idea how to continue this. It seemed like a good idea at the time. ---
**Author:** ![carnivorousplant](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/carnivorousplant/32/3563_2.png) [@carnivorousplant](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/carnivorousplant)\ **Post date:** [July 10, 2002, 6:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/harry-potter-v-is-here/117523/29 "2002-07-10T18:43:25Z")
“Red Guardius Summonus!” Harry clapped his hands. A red mist arose, and slowly seven blood red figures emerged, bearing wands made with the hair of Mao Tse Tung (May his memory be revered for ever) in their right hands and bronze short swords in their left. “Re-educate the running dog capitalists!” Hissed Harry. The figures moved forward, towards the cowering capitalist swine… ---
**Author:** ![Sunspace](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/sunspace/32/1250_2.png) [@Sunspace](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sunspace)\ **Post date:** [July 10, 2002, 11:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/harry-potter-v-is-here/117523/30 "2002-07-10T23:58:22Z")
Suddenly the lead Capitalist motioned the other Capitalists behind him into a defensive formation, then pulled out his wand. “By Enron! By Nortel! I invoke the power of the New Economy!” A haze of stinging greenish-grey smoke, flickering with numbers, enveloped everyone. The Red Warriors strode forweard, unhesitating. But the Capitalists were nowhere to be seen! The Red Warriors stopped in dismay. “Curses! They have run like the cowards they are!” Harry Potter stopped too. He heard a chilling laugh from behind him, and words meant only for him. “The SEC will never find us here, Harry. You are mine…” ---
**Author:** ![carnivorousplant](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/carnivorousplant/32/3563_2.png) [@carnivorousplant](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/carnivorousplant)\ **Post date:** [July 11, 2002, 12:58am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/harry-potter-v-is-here/117523/31 "2002-07-11T00:58:24Z")
A quote from the Revered Marx came to Harry; “Yesterday I shot an elephant in my pajamas. How he got into my paja…” No, wait, thought Harry. It was the Honored Lenin; “Imagine all the people, living for to…” No. Harry cowered. SEC? Special Ethical Communists? Strange Enron Capitalists? Harry bravely awaited his fate, concentrating on words from the Little Red Book; “There’s one born every minute.” [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/harry-potter-v-is-here/117523.md?page=1)