# Has a celebrity ever "come out" as asexual? **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Created:** [February 17, 2014, 4:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/has-a-celebrity-ever-come-out-as-asexual/681544 "2014-02-17T16:06:13Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![Ethilrist](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ethilrist/32/4604_2.png) [@Ethilrist](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ethilrist)\ **Post date:** [February 18, 2014, 4:21am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/has-a-celebrity-ever-come-out-as-asexual/681544/41 "2014-02-18T04:21:49Z")
Has he said he’s asexual? ---
**Author:** ![Kimstu](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/ecd19e/32.png) [@Kimstu](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kimstu)\ **Post date:** [February 18, 2014, 4:51am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/has-a-celebrity-ever-come-out-as-asexual/681544/42 "2014-02-18T04:51:41Z")
> [@Ethilrist](#): > > Has he said he’s asexual? Exactly. Once again, “celibate” != “asexual”. Though, of course, there’s no reason an asexually-oriented person couldn’t be Pope, AFAIK. ---
**Author:** ![Rushgeekgirl](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/rushgeekgirl/32/3715_2.png) [@Rushgeekgirl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rushgeekgirl)\ **Post date:** [February 18, 2014, 5:27am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/has-a-celebrity-ever-come-out-as-asexual/681544/43 "2014-02-18T05:27:42Z")
> [@Esco](#): > > Wow, total number is at 1%. That means in North-America aboot 3.6 million dont enjoy sex. > > These poor, poor people ☹ > > [Asexuality - Wikipedia](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Asexuality) It’s really not that big a deal. If you don’t enjoy something you don’t enjoy something. Besides, I see a lot of people who make foolish choices due to their dicks getting caught in a windstorm. I don’t have to worry about that. Not that I have a dick. But anyway, it’s only a problem when we find someone we really care about and we have to battle with doing something we don’t enjoy to make our partners happy, or hope we have partners who understand and don’t expect it. You can imagine how often that happens. And we miss out on a lot of affection that’s often tied with sex. I would truly love to have a friendly cuddle buddy but nobody gets in to that sort of thing these days, it seems. ---
**Author:** ![Acsenray](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/acsenray/32/4519_2.png) [@Acsenray](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Acsenray)\ **Post date:** [February 18, 2014, 5:34am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/has-a-celebrity-ever-come-out-as-asexual/681544/44 "2014-02-18T05:34:46Z")
Regarding Garofalo, it sounds like to me that she has lost interest in having sex. I’m not sure that this is exactly the same as being asexual. She has been living with the same man for more than 10 years. Even if they’re not engaging in activities involving stimulating each other’s sex organs, I suspect that that’s not necessarily an asexual relationship. Plenty of couples stop having sex. Does that necessarily mean their relationship is asexual? ---
**Author:** ![nearwildheaven](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/90db22/32.png) [@nearwildheaven](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/nearwildheaven)\ **Post date:** [February 18, 2014, 5:39am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/has-a-celebrity-ever-come-out-as-asexual/681544/45 "2014-02-18T05:39:15Z")
> [@Rushgeekgirl](#): > > Besides, I see a lot of people who make foolish choices due to their dicks getting caught in a windstorm. Oh, heck, genitalia. Women get in some really big trouble with theirs too (and no, I’m not referring to pregnancy). ---
**Author:** ![Sampiro](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/2acd7d/32.png) [@Sampiro](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sampiro)\ **Post date:** [February 18, 2014, 5:44am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/has-a-celebrity-ever-come-out-as-asexual/681544/46 "2014-02-18T05:44:01Z")
> [@njtt](#): > > Boy George famously declared that he would rather have “[a nice cup of tea](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Boy_George#Sexual_orientation)” than sex. Other things he has said, however, seem to contradict this. And would rather have a couple of lines of coke than either. ---
**Author:** ![Mississippienne](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/d2c977/32.png) [@Mississippienne](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mississippienne)\ **Post date:** [February 18, 2014, 6:57am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/has-a-celebrity-ever-come-out-as-asexual/681544/47 "2014-02-18T06:57:25Z")
Singer Emilie Autumn formerly said she was asexual, but later found that she liked sex just fine. She said that at the time she identified as asexual, she hadn’t yet met any partners who were “any good at” sex. ---
**Author:** ![AppallingGael](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/b9bd4f/32.png) [@AppallingGael](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AppallingGael)\ **Post date:** [February 18, 2014, 9:45am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/has-a-celebrity-ever-come-out-as-asexual/681544/48 "2014-02-18T09:45:13Z")
> [@Wendell\_Wagner](#): > > And besides the Wikipedia entry that LibrarySpy links to, there’s this entry: > > [Category:Asexual men - Wikipedia](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Category:Asexual_men) Having looked at both links, it seems there is an asexual woman for every asexual man out there. ---
**Author:** ![alexandra](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/e68b1a/32.png) [@alexandra](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/alexandra)\ **Post date:** [February 18, 2014, 12:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/has-a-celebrity-ever-come-out-as-asexual/681544/49 "2014-02-18T12:49:56Z")
> [@nearwildheaven](#): > > Morrissey has stated that he’s asexual. Whatever he is is his own business. I have never seen a direct quote from Moz saying he’s asexual, and I’ve read a _lot_ of Morrissey interviews. 🆒 :o I know Wikipedia claims that he’s said that, but there’s no direct quote there either, and a lot of people do confuse it with celibacy - which is a behavioural choice, not an orientation. A lot of the interviews with Morrissey in which he discussed being celibate are from the 80s, when no-one talked about ‘asexuality’ by its modern definition. More recently, he’s been in relationships and has discussed this in interviews and his autobiography. And as any fan knows, romantic and sexual attraction has always been a theme in his lyrics. ---
**Author:** ![Kimstu](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/ecd19e/32.png) [@Kimstu](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kimstu)\ **Post date:** [February 18, 2014, 4:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/has-a-celebrity-ever-come-out-as-asexual/681544/50 "2014-02-18T16:05:51Z")
I don’t know how broadly we’re defining “celebrity”, but the great mathematician Paul Erdos did unambiguously “come out” as asexual late in his life, in interviews and in a biographical documentary. He described sexual pleasure as being “painful” to him, or as something he “couldn’t stand”, and he certainly never seems to have had or sought anything like a sexual relationship with anybody. (I don’t have any personal understanding of asexuality and don’t know what Erdos actually meant by that description; I’ve wondered if it might be something as anatomically straightforward as, say, a condition of phimosis where erection causes physical pain. But I’m going to assume he knew the difference between a physical pathology that interferes with natural sexual desires and a natural psychological orientation that makes sexual desire actively repulsive. Can anybody explain in more detail what an asexually-oriented person might mean by saying that sexual pleasure is painful?) ---
**Author:** ![Loach](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/loach/32/350_2.png) [@Loach](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Loach)\ **Post date:** [February 18, 2014, 4:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/has-a-celebrity-ever-come-out-as-asexual/681544/51 "2014-02-18T16:17:25Z")
> [@Loach](#): > > In another thread I was able to quote John Mahoney on the subject. I was not able to find the cite again. > > Mahoney long has been the subject of gay rumors. In the cite he still wouldn’t confirm or deny but basically said that due to decades of health issues(including a colostomy) sex was something that was in his past. Ok found it. > **[John Mahoney | Interview](https://www.timeout.com/chicago/theater/john-mahoney-interview)** > > John Mahoney | Interview From 2008: TOC: In everything I’ve read about you, I haven’t seen any mention of a partner or a romantic life. John Mahoney: Yeah, it doesn’t exist for me anymore. [Laughs] I think that’s dead and buried. Twenty-three years ago I had cancer of the colon. I had to have major surgery, and I have a colostomy. I really couldn’t have sex after that. I’m very happy by myself and with my friends, but no, I’m definitely not involved with anybody. Nor do I ever look to be. ---
**Author:** ![Marley23](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/45deac/32.png) [@Marley23](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Marley23)\ **Post date:** [February 18, 2014, 4:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/has-a-celebrity-ever-come-out-as-asexual/681544/52 "2014-02-18T16:30:00Z")
> [@Esco](#): > > Man, I couldnt even fathom being asexual. I’m one of the horniest guys in the world, wind blows too hard and I have an erection 😃 > [@Esco](#): > > Wow, total number is at 1%. That means in North-America aboot 3.6 million dont enjoy sex. > > These poor, poor people ☹ > > [Asexuality - Wikipedia](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Asexuality) That’s enough, **Esco**. The thread is about asexual people, not your sex life or what you personally think of asexual people. ---
**Author:** ![Kimstu](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/ecd19e/32.png) [@Kimstu](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kimstu)\ **Post date:** [February 18, 2014, 4:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/has-a-celebrity-ever-come-out-as-asexual/681544/53 "2014-02-18T16:43:33Z")
> [@DMark](#): > > I am not sure who said it (Ian McKellen?) but I recall one actor saying, “I’m gay, but at my age, it is all just in theory anyway.” Sounds like you’re thinking of the character Graham Dashwood’s line from _The Best Exotic Marigold Hotel_: “I’m gay - although nowadays more in theory than in practice”. (Dashwood is played by Tom Wilkinson, who happens to be straight, or at least so I deduce from the fact that he’s been married for decades to a woman with whom he has two children.) ---
**Author:** ![Wendell\_Wagner](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/8491ac/32.png) [@Wendell\_Wagner](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Wendell_Wagner)\ **Post date:** [February 19, 2014, 1:35am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/has-a-celebrity-ever-come-out-as-asexual/681544/54 "2014-02-19T01:35:51Z")
Kimstu writes: \> I don’t know how broadly we’re defining “celebrity”, but the great mathematician \> Paul Erdos did unambiguously “come out” as asexual late in his life, in interviews \> and in a biographical documentary. Paul Erdős is also someone who people have speculated have Asperger’s syndrome or something on the autistic spectrum. This is such a broad and vaguely defined area that it’s hard to tell whether the current categories make any sense, let alone whether any particular person who is dead and can’t be examined by professionals have any such condition. He basically had no life outside of mathematics. The only way he could relate to other people was to work on a mathematics paper with them, and that’s part of the reason that he had 511 co-authors during his lifetime. I don’t know if Erdős in claiming to be asexual was saying that he couldn’t relate in any romantic sense to anyone, so he didn’t even try sex, or if he just disliked sexual intercourse. ---
**Author:** ![Kimstu](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/ecd19e/32.png) [@Kimstu](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kimstu)\ **Post date:** [February 19, 2014, 3:52am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/has-a-celebrity-ever-come-out-as-asexual/681544/55 "2014-02-19T03:52:26Z")
> [@Wendell\_Wagner](#): > > He basically had no life outside of mathematics. The only way he could relate to other people was to work on a mathematics paper with them, and that’s part of the reason that he had 511 co-authors during his lifetime. Except that he apparently had a very close and affectionate relationship with his parents, particularly his mother, until their deaths. That doesn’t rule out an Asperger’s-like condition, of course, but it does add some emotional range. Moreover, even though all his friendships were with other mathematicians and his personal activities were almost exclusively mathematical, that doesn’t mean that he “couldn’t relate” to his collaborators as people too. He seems to have had many collaborators who liked him personally in addition to enjoying their shared work. > [@Wendell Wagner](#): > > I don’t know if Erdős in claiming to be asexual was saying that he couldn’t relate in any romantic sense to anyone, so he didn’t even try sex, or if he just disliked sexual intercourse. Well, the quotes I referred to were very specifically describing his negative reactions to what he unambiguously called “sexual pleasure”. That doesn’t sound to me like “I don’t like romantic relationships” but rather “I don’t like sexual pleasure”. ---
**Author:** ![Lamia](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/8e7dd6/32.png) [@Lamia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lamia)\ **Post date:** [February 19, 2014, 4:08am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/has-a-celebrity-ever-come-out-as-asexual/681544/56 "2014-02-19T04:08:03Z")
> [@Kimstu](#): > > Well, the quotes I referred to were very specifically describing his negative reactions to what he unambiguously called “sexual pleasure”. That doesn’t sound to me like “I don’t like romantic relationships” but rather “I don’t like sexual pleasure”. That’s not what being asexual is, though. Asexual people don’t find sex to be painful or repulsive, or if they do it’s for reasons other than asexuality. Asexual people simply aren’t interested in sex and experience little if any sexual desire. Did Erdos actually describe himself as asexual, or are you assuming that’s the reason for his aversion to sex? ---
**Author:** ![Kimstu](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/ecd19e/32.png) [@Kimstu](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kimstu)\ **Post date:** [February 19, 2014, 4:13am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/has-a-celebrity-ever-come-out-as-asexual/681544/57 "2014-02-19T04:13:28Z")
> [@Lamia](#): > > That’s not what being asexual is, though. Asexual people don’t find sex to be painful or repulsive, or if they do it’s for reasons other than asexuality. Asexual people simply aren’t interested in sex and experience little if any sexual desire. > > Did Erdos actually describe himself as asexual, or are you assuming that’s the reason for his aversion to sex? See the earlier post I mentioned above: > [@Kimstu](#): > > He described sexual pleasure as being “painful” to him, or as something he “couldn’t stand”, and he certainly never seems to have had or sought anything like a sexual relationship with anybody. > > (I don’t have any personal understanding of asexuality and don’t know what Erdos actually meant by that description; I’ve wondered if it might be something as anatomically straightforward as, say, a condition of phimosis where erection causes physical pain. But I’m going to assume he knew the difference between a physical pathology that interferes with natural sexual desires and a natural psychological orientation that makes sexual desire actively repulsive. Can anybody explain in more detail what an asexually-oriented person might mean by saying that sexual pleasure is painful?) ---
**Author:** ![astro](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/9dc877/32.png) [@astro](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/astro)\ **Post date:** [February 19, 2014, 4:33am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/has-a-celebrity-ever-come-out-as-asexual/681544/58 "2014-02-19T04:33:04Z")
If you look at the wiki bios of some of these asexual men like Edward Gorey they seem to be living lifestyles (sex aside) that are a lot more in line with gay sensibilities than otherwise. ---
**Author:** ![Esco](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/9de053/32.png) [@Esco](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Esco)\ **Post date:** [February 19, 2014, 4:48am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/has-a-celebrity-ever-come-out-as-asexual/681544/59 "2014-02-19T04:48:12Z")
> [@astro](#): > > If you look at the wiki bios of some of these asexual men like Edward Gorey they seem to be living lifestyles (sex aside) that are a lot more in line with gay sensibilities than otherwise And how accurate are all those wiki entries??? ---
**Author:** ![Wendell\_Wagner](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/8491ac/32.png) [@Wendell\_Wagner](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Wendell_Wagner)\ **Post date:** [February 19, 2014, 11:17am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/has-a-celebrity-ever-come-out-as-asexual/681544/60 "2014-02-19T11:17:49Z")
What Erdős says in the documentary I assume you’re talking about (_N Is a Number_) is “Actually, I have an abnormality. I can’t stand sexual pleasure. It’s a curious abnormality, it’s almost unique.”: [![]( " - YouTube") ](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5iflQseSSfA) (at 48:20) I have no idea what that means. He doesn’t say that intercourse is painful to him. He says that he can’t stand the pleasure of it. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/has-a-celebrity-ever-come-out-as-asexual/681544.md?page=2) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/has-a-celebrity-ever-come-out-as-asexual/681544.md?page=4)