# Has a celebrity ever "come out" as asexual? **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Created:** [February 17, 2014, 4:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/has-a-celebrity-ever-come-out-as-asexual/681544 "2014-02-17T16:06:13Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 4
**Author:** ![alexandra](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/e68b1a/32.png) [@alexandra](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/alexandra)\ **Post date:** [February 19, 2014, 1:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/has-a-celebrity-ever-come-out-as-asexual/681544/61 "2014-02-19T13:08:44Z")
> [@Esco](#): > > And how accurate are all those wiki entries??? Well TE Lawrence is [listed](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Category:Asexual_men) as a man who has come out as asexual and [apparently](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/T._E._Lawrence#Sexuality) his friends thought he was asexual.:rolleyes: The man died over seventy years ago. (I’m guessing some of his friends noted his lack of interest in women but wouldn’t have thought or certainly wouldn’t have said he might be gay, which may have been the case.) There must be a contingent of Wiki editors bent on increasing asexual visibility. ---
**Author:** ![Mississippienne](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/d2c977/32.png) [@Mississippienne](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mississippienne)\ **Post date:** [February 20, 2014, 12:05am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/has-a-celebrity-ever-come-out-as-asexual/681544/62 "2014-02-20T00:05:54Z")
> [@Wendell\_Wagner](#): > > I have no idea what that means. He doesn’t say that intercourse is painful to him. He says that he can’t stand the pleasure of it. He could’ve had some kind of sensory processing issue. We’ll probably never know for sure, considering Erdős caught a case of Death awhile back. ---
**Author:** ![Esco](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/9de053/32.png) [@Esco](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Esco)\ **Post date:** [February 20, 2014, 12:08am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/has-a-celebrity-ever-come-out-as-asexual/681544/63 "2014-02-20T00:08:33Z")
> [@alexandra](#): > > Well TE Lawrence is [listed](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Category:Asexual_men) as a man who has come out as asexual and [apparently](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/T._E._Lawrence#Sexuality) his friends thought he was asexual.:rolleyes: The man died over seventy years ago. (I’m guessing some of his friends noted his lack of interest in women but wouldn’t have thought or certainly wouldn’t have said he might be gay, which may have been the case.) > > There must be a contingent of Wiki editors bent on increasing asexual visibility Thing is though, anyone can edit wikipedia. So it leaves itself wide open for trolls to post whatever they want ---
**Author:** ![panache45](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/panache45/32/64_2.png) [@panache45](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/panache45)\ **Post date:** [February 20, 2014, 12:39am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/has-a-celebrity-ever-come-out-as-asexual/681544/64 "2014-02-20T00:39:00Z")
Hopefully, Abe Vigoda. ---
**Author:** ![Acsenray](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/acsenray/32/4519_2.png) [@Acsenray](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Acsenray)\ **Post date:** [February 20, 2014, 1:41am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/has-a-celebrity-ever-come-out-as-asexual/681544/65 "2014-02-20T01:41:11Z")
> [@panache45](#): > > Hopefully, Abe Vigoda. That seems kind of mean. ---
**Author:** ![Lamia](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/8e7dd6/32.png) [@Lamia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lamia)\ **Post date:** [February 20, 2014, 2:06am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/has-a-celebrity-ever-come-out-as-asexual/681544/66 "2014-02-20T02:06:30Z")
> [@Kimstu](#): > > See the earlier post I mentioned above: I saw it, and I could not determine from it whether Erdos actually described himself as asexual. You said that he “did unambiguously ‘come out’ as asexual”, which I would take to mean he said something along the lines of “I am asexual”, but the only statements you specifically mention are about how he didn’t enjoy sex. Did he unambiguously come out as asexual or not? ---
**Author:** ![Kimstu](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/ecd19e/32.png) [@Kimstu](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kimstu)\ **Post date:** [February 20, 2014, 2:58am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/has-a-celebrity-ever-come-out-as-asexual/681544/67 "2014-02-20T02:58:07Z")
> [@Lamia](#): > > I saw it, and I could not determine from it whether Erdos actually described himself as asexual. You said that he “did unambiguously ‘come out’ as asexual”, which I would take to mean he said something along the lines of “I am asexual”, but the only statements you specifically mention are about how he didn’t enjoy sex. Did he unambiguously come out as asexual or not? IIRC he never used the word “asexual”, which even recently wasn’t widely recognized as a specific sexual orientation. But according to the documentary and to anecdotes recorded in Bruce Schechter’s biography, Erdos was always uncomfortable with physical contact of any kind and never had or pursued a sexual relationship. (Although he does seem to have enjoyed and needed friendly companionship, usually talking about mathematics but also including other friendly conversation, so I don’t really buy the blanket explanation that he just couldn’t relate to others socially at all.) What I meant by his “unambiguously coming out” was that he made no secret of never wanting or seeking a physical relationship and never enjoying sexual feelings. To me, that seems to imply asexuality, but as I said, I don’t have any personal comprehension of that orientation. If that’s not what Erdos meant by what he said, then what might he have meant? ---
**Author:** ![Wendell\_Wagner](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/8491ac/32.png) [@Wendell\_Wagner](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Wendell_Wagner)\ **Post date:** [February 20, 2014, 3:03am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/has-a-celebrity-ever-come-out-as-asexual/681544/68 "2014-02-20T03:03:11Z")
You said that he described sexual pleasure as being painful to him. That wasn’t what he said at all. Having problems with anyone else touching him sounds to me more like autism: > **[Understanding Why Autistic People May Reject Social Touch | TIME.com](https://healthland.time.com/2012/03/19/understanding-why-autistic-people-may-reject-social-touch/)** > > One of the hardest challenges for families facing autism is the problem of touch. Often, autistic children resist hugging and other types of physical contact, causing distress all around. ---
**Author:** ![Slow\_Moving\_Vehicle](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/slow_moving_vehicle/32/291_2.png) [@Slow\_Moving\_Vehicle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Slow_Moving_Vehicle)\ **Post date:** [February 20, 2014, 5:55am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/has-a-celebrity-ever-come-out-as-asexual/681544/69 "2014-02-20T05:55:42Z")
> [@vontsira](#): > > Malacandra quotes Stephen Fry: > > “I would be greatly in the debt of the man who could tell me what could tell me what could ever be appealing about those damp, dark, foul-smelling and revoltingly tufted areas of the body that constitute the main dishes in the banquet of love.” > > I would suggest that here, Stephen is just expressing – in a slightly novel way – a sentiment that many others (who have often not been asexual) have voiced in the past. I recall – from memory, probably not with great accuracy – something similar from Leonardo da Vinci, to the general effect of: “The sexual act, and the areas of the body most closely involved with it, are so disgusting; that the human race would have died out long ago if there were not pretty faces and sensual natures.” I have to feel that it’s possible to see where these folk are coming from with these views. Looking at the copulation thing coolly and objectively, it can indeed seem pretty revolting. “Sex: the pleasure is momentary, the position ridiculous, and the expense damnable” - Lord Chesterfield. ---
**Author:** ![Annie-Xmas](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ecc23a/32.png) [@Annie-Xmas](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Annie-Xmas)\ **Post date:** [February 20, 2014, 2:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/has-a-celebrity-ever-come-out-as-asexual/681544/70 "2014-02-20T14:44:56Z")
Interesting article [The rise of the asexual](http://www.dailymail.co.uk/femail/article-321874/Rise-asexual.html) I’ve come out as asexual on this message board, and I’ve started talking about it in public. Every asexual person I’ve spoken to has remarked that they know if they would be straight or gay if they were interested in sexual matters, but they are not. I think asexuals are seen as worse off than gays. Whose fucking business is it anyways? ---
**Author:** ![gytalf2000](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/ac91a4/32.png) [@gytalf2000](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/gytalf2000)\ **Post date:** [February 20, 2014, 2:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/has-a-celebrity-ever-come-out-as-asexual/681544/71 "2014-02-20T14:51:09Z")
> [@Annie-Xmas](#): > > Interesting article [The rise of the asexual](http://www.dailymail.co.uk/femail/article-321874/Rise-asexual.html) > > I think asexuals are seen as worse off than gays. Whose fucking business is it anyways? That’s my take on the matter. People differ in so many different ways – it just stands to reason that, out of a population of 7+ billion, there are going to be some individuals that aren’t interested in sex. Not a big deal… ---
**Author:** ![KneadToKnow](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kneadtoknow/32/3999_2.png) [@KneadToKnow](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/KneadToKnow)\ **Post date:** [February 20, 2014, 3:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/has-a-celebrity-ever-come-out-as-asexual/681544/72 "2014-02-20T15:05:53Z")
> [@Esco](#): > > Didnt she get caught with an underage girl or boy?? > > Or was she just emotionally and not sexually attracted to the child?? She was charged in 2001 with committing a lewd act on an underage girl. The prosecution dropped those charges, so we cannot say what the deal was but it doesn’t sound like they could make the case. She was also charged with “child endangerment.” That had nothing to do with sex. She was driving drunk with kids in the car. [Wikipedia Cite](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Paula_Poundstone#Personal_life). ---
**Author:** ![Annie-Xmas](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ecc23a/32.png) [@Annie-Xmas](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Annie-Xmas)\ **Post date:** [February 20, 2014, 3:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/has-a-celebrity-ever-come-out-as-asexual/681544/73 "2014-02-20T15:17:14Z")
> [@gytalf2000](#): > > That’s my take on the matter. People differ in so many different ways – it just stands to reason that, out of a population of 7+ billion, there are going to be some individuals that aren’t interested in sex. Not a big deal… Thank you so much. Every asexual person I’ve spoken to is so tired of the “all you need is one good lay” approach. Similar to gay people being told “you just haven’t met the right person of the opposite sex.” Asexual people do get STD’s or face unwanted pregnancies. It’s worth it. ---
**Author:** ![Nava](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/da6949/32.png) [@Nava](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Nava)\ **Post date:** [February 20, 2014, 3:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/has-a-celebrity-ever-come-out-as-asexual/681544/74 "2014-02-20T15:40:14Z")
> [@Annie-Xmas](#): > > I think asexuals are seen as worse off than gays. Whose fucking business is it anyways? I see what you did there… ---
**Author:** ![gytalf2000](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/ac91a4/32.png) [@gytalf2000](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/gytalf2000)\ **Post date:** [February 20, 2014, 3:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/has-a-celebrity-ever-come-out-as-asexual/681544/75 "2014-02-20T15:43:50Z")
> [@Annie-Xmas](#): > > Thank you so much. Every asexual person I’ve spoken to is so tired of the “all you need is one good lay” approach. Similar to gay people being told “you just haven’t met the right person of the opposite sex.” > > Asexual people do get STD’s or face unwanted pregnancies. It’s worth it. You are very welcome! I’m a paraphiliac myself. What I want to do sexually differs dramatically from the norm, so I appreciate the fact that some of us are just different. ---
**Author:** ![KneadToKnow](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kneadtoknow/32/3999_2.png) [@KneadToKnow](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/KneadToKnow)\ **Post date:** [February 20, 2014, 3:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/has-a-celebrity-ever-come-out-as-asexual/681544/76 "2014-02-20T15:50:21Z")
> [@Annie-Xmas](#): > > Asexual people do get STD’s or face unwanted pregnancies. It’s worth it. Is there a word missing from this? ---
**Author:** ![Loach](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/loach/32/350_2.png) [@Loach](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Loach)\ **Post date:** [February 20, 2014, 4:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/has-a-celebrity-ever-come-out-as-asexual/681544/77 "2014-02-20T16:33:53Z")
> [@KneadToKnow](#): > > Is there a word missing from this? I hope so. ---
**Author:** ![Lemur866](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/lemur866/32/434_2.png) [@Lemur866](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lemur866)\ **Post date:** [February 20, 2014, 5:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/has-a-celebrity-ever-come-out-as-asexual/681544/78 "2014-02-20T17:36:53Z")
> [@Annie-Xmas](#): > > Thank you so much. Every asexual person I’ve spoken to is so tired of the “all you need is one good lay” approach. Similar to gay people being told “you just haven’t met the right person of the opposite sex.” Yeah…but there really are plenty of people who don’t see what the big deal with sex is. Then they eventually discover X. And they finally understand what the big deal is. And “X” could be homosexuality, BDSM, the clitoris, or whatever. So people lie about their sexual behavior all the time, often for understandable reasons. And people often don’t understand their own sexual behavior. And people often don’t have the time or mental resources to devote to understanding themselves, they’re too busy struggling with other things. I certainly agree that if someone isn’t interested in sex it’s not my job to ask them if they’ve, like, really tried to like sex. Because they probably have, and even if they haven’t, that’s their problem not mine. Unless I’m in a romantic relationship with you, I don’t care if you enjoy sex or not. As long as the lack of enjoyment of sex isn’t causing you pain. ---
**Author:** ![CatherineZeta](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/e95f7d/32.png) [@CatherineZeta](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CatherineZeta)\ **Post date:** [February 21, 2014, 2:26am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/has-a-celebrity-ever-come-out-as-asexual/681544/79 "2014-02-21T02:26:50Z")
> [@alexandra](#): > > I have never seen a direct quote from Moz saying he’s asexual, and I’ve read a _lot_ of Morrissey interviews. 🆒 :o I know Wikipedia claims that he’s said that, but there’s no direct quote there either, and a lot of people do confuse it with celibacy - which is a behavioural choice, not an orientation. > > A lot of the interviews with Morrissey in which he discussed being celibate are from the 80s, when no-one talked about ‘asexuality’ by its modern definition. More recently, he’s been in relationships and has discussed this in interviews and his autobiography. And as any fan knows, romantic and sexual attraction has always been a theme in his lyrics. Here is a direct quote clearing up the asexual thing (he is not asexual)- [statement from his website](http://true-to-you.net/morrissey_news_131019_01). ---
**Author:** ![Hershele\_Ostropoler](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/e47c2d/32.png) [@Hershele\_Ostropoler](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hershele_Ostropoler)\ **Post date:** [February 23, 2014, 12:17am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/has-a-celebrity-ever-come-out-as-asexual/681544/80 "2014-02-23T00:17:42Z")
> [@ekedolphin](#): > > Thank you! If it’s not cool to judge someone for being LGBT (and frankly, society has a long way to go before they truly accept transgendered people), it’s not cool to judge someone for being asexual, either. In my experience, asexual people are way more judgmental of LGB people than gay people of straight people, or than transgender people are of cisgender people. (That is to say, I’ve encountered more aces who are judgmental, though still a minority.) > [@Lamia](#): > > That’s not what being asexual is, though. Asexual people don’t find sex to be painful or repulsive, or if they do it’s for reasons other than asexuality. Going by the orientation model, I don’t see why it would be any more wrong to say that an asexual person finds sex “repulsive” than it is to say a gay person finds sex with someone of the different sex repulsive. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/has-a-celebrity-ever-come-out-as-asexual/681544.md?page=3) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/has-a-celebrity-ever-come-out-as-asexual/681544.md?page=5)