# Has a crime been committed here? A case of goose theft. **URL:** \ **Category:** Factual Questions\ **Created:** [October 31, 2019, 12:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/has-a-crime-been-committed-here-a-case-of-goose-theft/842758 "2019-10-31T12:39:14Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![Musicat](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/musicat/32/20189_2.png) [@Musicat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Musicat)\ **Post date:** [October 31, 2019, 7:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/has-a-crime-been-committed-here-a-case-of-goose-theft/842758/21 "2019-10-31T19:02:57Z")
> [@TriPolar](#): > > Ever heard anyone say “…like crap through a sparrow.”? I have now. ---
**Author:** ![Procrustus](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/procrustus/32/2994_2.png) [@Procrustus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Procrustus)\ **Post date:** [October 31, 2019, 7:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/has-a-crime-been-committed-here-a-case-of-goose-theft/842758/22 "2019-10-31T19:06:21Z")
> [@Musicat](#): > > You do realize that all wild animals, even bears, shit in the woods? Do you hate them all, or just the mega-pooping ones? Although I like the geese more than **Annie** , the problem is not shitting _in the woods_. The woods would be okay. The geese, however, end up on peoples lawns, in parks, and on beaches. ---
**Author:** ![Musicat](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/musicat/32/20189_2.png) [@Musicat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Musicat)\ **Post date:** [October 31, 2019, 7:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/has-a-crime-been-committed-here-a-case-of-goose-theft/842758/23 "2019-10-31T19:12:19Z")
Maybe we need smarter birds. So they stay out of cars and in the woods, where they belong. ---
**Author:** ![Dinsdale](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/97f17d/32.png) [@Dinsdale](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dinsdale)\ **Post date:** [October 31, 2019, 7:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/has-a-crime-been-committed-here-a-case-of-goose-theft/842758/24 "2019-10-31T19:17:36Z")
> [@Musicat](#): > > Is their poop relative to body size any different from, say, a sparrow? Is your objection due to the absolute poop volume or the poop volume / body volume? > … Amusing - I’m pretty sure I read about the “local goose counting” in the paper and ink Reader - back in the day. Probably late 80s-90s. ISTR either the same or another Reader article - possible SD, discussed goose-pooping habits. As I recall, the article said an “unladen” 😉 goose is right around the maximum weight to allow flight. Their food of choice has very low nutritional value, so they have to eat a lot of it. But, in order to be able to take off to flee predators, they must process it thru their body very quickly, and often shit when taking off. Hence the saying … Of course, I may well misremember everything. It’s the circle. The circle of Dope! 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Colibri](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/colibri/32/1841_2.png) [@Colibri](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Colibri)\ **Post date:** [October 31, 2019, 7:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/has-a-crime-been-committed-here-a-case-of-goose-theft/842758/25 "2019-10-31T19:25:28Z")
> [@Musicat](#): > > Is their poop relative to body size any different from, say, a sparrow? Is your objection due to the absolute poop volume or the poop volume / body volume? > > You do realize that all wild animals, even bears, shit in the woods? Do you hate them all, or just the mega-pooping ones? > [@Dinsdale](#): > > Amusing - I’m pretty sure I read about the “local goose counting” in the paper and ink Reader - back in the day. Probably late 80s-90s. > > ISTR either the same or another Reader article - possible SD, discussed goose-pooping habits. As I recall, the article said an “unladen” 😉 goose is right around the maximum weight to allow flight. Their food of choice has very low nutritional value, so they have to eat a lot of it. But, in order to be able to take off to flee predators, they must process it thru their body very quickly, and often shit when taking off. Hence the saying … > > Of course, I may well misremember everything. > > It’s the circle. The circle of Dope! 😃 **Dinsdale** is right. Geese are largely herbivores, while sparrows eat mostly seeds, so their poop is both quantitatively and qualitatively different. A lot of a goose’s food is indigestible, so the amount of poop produced is proportionately greater. One goose pooping on a lawn is going to be much worse than 100 sparrows. ---
**Author:** ![Jackmannii](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jackmannii/32/311_2.png) [@Jackmannii](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jackmannii)\ **Post date:** [October 31, 2019, 7:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/has-a-crime-been-committed-here-a-case-of-goose-theft/842758/26 "2019-10-31T19:44:08Z")
The landlord OP should probably be most concerned that the presence of one happy treat-fed goose will lead to others learning of the free lunch. Eventually there could be dozens waddling around the property, leaving slimy goose poop, raising goslings and attacking people who get too close. Then the landlord will be faced with the necessity of broadcasting goose distress calls, setting off fireworks and/or calling in goose-chasing dogs. It could get ugly. :eek::smack: I would see about having an Official Agency (ICE? MBICE\*?) deport this goose back to where it came from. \*Migratory Bird Immigration and Customs Enforcement. ---
**Author:** ![Hari\_Seldon](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/hari_seldon/32/5173_2.png) [@Hari\_Seldon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hari_Seldon)\ **Post date:** [October 31, 2019, 11:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/has-a-crime-been-committed-here-a-case-of-goose-theft/842758/27 "2019-10-31T23:06:05Z")
How can you tell they are migratory? Do they have visas? ---
**Author:** ![Melbourne](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/b5e925/32.png) [@Melbourne](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Melbourne)\ **Post date:** [October 31, 2019, 11:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/has-a-crime-been-committed-here-a-case-of-goose-theft/842758/28 "2019-10-31T23:27:36Z")
> [@Colibri](#): > > sparrows eat mostly seeds …Such as beetles, caterpillars, flies and aphids. Hence the huge city populations of sparrows back when horses were more common. ---
**Author:** ![Guinastasia](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/guinastasia/32/5751_2.png) [@Guinastasia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Guinastasia)\ **Post date:** [November 1, 2019, 1:52am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/has-a-crime-been-committed-here-a-case-of-goose-theft/842758/29 "2019-11-01T01:52:26Z")
> [@Musicat](#): > > Is their poop relative to body size any different from, say, a sparrow? Is your objection due to the absolute poop volume or the poop volume / body volume? > > You do realize that all wild animals, even bears, shit in the woods? Do you hate them all, or just the mega-pooping ones? We’re talking ultra-mega poopers here. Back when I was working at the Science Center, I would sometimes skip getting the 2nd bus on nice days, and just walk over to the North Shore. You should have SEEN the sidewalk by the river, it was absolutely covered in goose turds. How did they even manage to eat that much? They’re cute…but trust me. You would NOT want one on your property. (Why did I walk then? Because otherwise, the weather was nice, it was good exercise, and the view is absolutely gorgeous) ---
**Author:** ![Ruken](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/f475e1/32.png) [@Ruken](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ruken)\ **Post date:** [November 1, 2019, 1:54am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/has-a-crime-been-committed-here-a-case-of-goose-theft/842758/30 "2019-11-01T01:54:34Z")
“I do not like the cobra duck” ---
**Author:** ![Colibri](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/colibri/32/1841_2.png) [@Colibri](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Colibri)\ **Post date:** [November 1, 2019, 2:35am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/has-a-crime-been-committed-here-a-case-of-goose-theft/842758/31 "2019-11-01T02:35:08Z")
> [@Melbourne](#): > > Hence the huge city populations of sparrows back when horses were more common. True. House sparrows used to pick through horse manure in search of undigested oats, the source of the rhyme, "Pretty little birdies, picking in the turdies.: ---
**Author:** ![Dag\_Otto](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/439d5e/32.png) [@Dag\_Otto](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dag_Otto)\ **Post date:** [November 1, 2019, 4:36am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/has-a-crime-been-committed-here-a-case-of-goose-theft/842758/32 "2019-11-01T04:36:49Z")
> [@Bayaker](#): > > Of course, it is hard to believe that the goose “simply climbed in” his car, but. I think the tenant is planning on a nice fattened goose for Christmas dinner. Ass, grass, or foie gras, nobody rides for free. ---
**Author:** ![Dinsdale](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/97f17d/32.png) [@Dinsdale](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dinsdale)\ **Post date:** [November 1, 2019, 12:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/has-a-crime-been-committed-here-a-case-of-goose-theft/842758/33 "2019-11-01T12:03:40Z")
> [@Colibri](#): > > **Dinsdale** is right. … Dayum - this from **Colibri** - in a BIRD thread! I might have to change my sig! 😃 In HS my kids were in the marching band. Their practice field was between the football field and a lake. They had t-shirts made up that said something like “The goose-poop steppers”. :eek: Some golf courses “employ” dogs - generally border collies - to harass geese. Without them, goose poop can - um - be a bit of an issue. It is cute seeing the dog ride in or run along the cart with the greenskeeper, alert for geese to harass. > [@](#): > > House sparrows used to pick through horse manure in search of undigested oats,… At the risk of being political in GQ, one of the best descriptions I ever heard of trickle down economics was that if you feed the horses more and more oats, there will be more little bits for the birds to peck out of the manure. 😉 Apologies if that was inappropriate. ---
**Author:** ![Annie-Xmas](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ecc23a/32.png) [@Annie-Xmas](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Annie-Xmas)\ **Post date:** [November 1, 2019, 1:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/has-a-crime-been-committed-here-a-case-of-goose-theft/842758/34 "2019-11-01T13:09:31Z")
Goose turds are big slimy green shit. A friend slipped on one, fell and broke her arm. And if you go any place there are geese and try to sit down and eat your nice little snack, those birds will be all over you, trying to get some. They are nasty beggers and poopers. ---
**Author:** ![Jasmine](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jasmine/32/2964_2.png) [@Jasmine](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jasmine)\ **Post date:** [November 1, 2019, 1:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/has-a-crime-been-committed-here-a-case-of-goose-theft/842758/35 "2019-11-01T13:39:30Z")
> [@Annie-Xmas](#): > > Goose turds are big slimy green shit. A friend slipped on one, fell and broke her arm. > > And if you go any place there are geese and try to sit down and eat your nice little snack, those birds will be all over you, trying to get some. They are nasty beggers and poopers. Yep! I was golfing once on a course that had a very large flock of geese all over the course. There were so many turds on many of the greens that we just had to concede a 2-putt score to one another when we reached the greens because it was impossible to putt without clearing a copious amount of crap out of one’s way. ---
**Author:** ![TriPolar](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tripolar/32/3008_2.png) [@TriPolar](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TriPolar)\ **Post date:** [November 1, 2019, 1:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/has-a-crime-been-committed-here-a-case-of-goose-theft/842758/36 "2019-11-01T13:43:05Z")
My son used to play soccer on a field next to a pond. When they’re done and coated in goose shit you still have to get them home somehow. Thanks Canada! ---
**Author:** ![wevets](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/e9a140/32.png) [@wevets](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/wevets)\ **Post date:** [November 1, 2019, 1:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/has-a-crime-been-committed-here-a-case-of-goose-theft/842758/37 "2019-11-01T13:48:59Z")
> [@md2000](#): > > There was a movie (in IMAX?) made with some fellow who trained Canada Geese to fly alongside his ultralight to get some incredible footage of geese in flight. He got into trouble with the Canadian government because you are not allowed to keep wild migratory birds as pets. Do you mean [Bill Lishman](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bill_Lishman)? The wikipedia article doesn’t mention any legal troubles… ---
**Author:** ![Jasmine](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jasmine/32/2964_2.png) [@Jasmine](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jasmine)\ **Post date:** [November 1, 2019, 2:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/has-a-crime-been-committed-here-a-case-of-goose-theft/842758/38 "2019-11-01T14:01:37Z")
> [@TriPolar](#): > > Thanks Canada! Hey, they’re “Canada Geese”, not Canadian geese. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Bear\_Nenno](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bear_nenno/32/3358_2.png) [@Bear\_Nenno](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bear_Nenno)\ **Post date:** [November 1, 2019, 2:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/has-a-crime-been-committed-here-a-case-of-goose-theft/842758/39 "2019-11-01T14:43:47Z")
Well, since you’ve clarified that this was an _Asian_ tenant as opposed to some ordinary tenant, I think you might want to call the authorities to be sure. ---
**Author:** ![Bryan\_Ekers](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bryan_ekers/32/183_2.png) [@Bryan\_Ekers](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bryan_Ekers)\ **Post date:** [November 1, 2019, 4:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/has-a-crime-been-committed-here-a-case-of-goose-theft/842758/40 "2019-11-01T16:15:27Z")
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