Reminds me of another one – after the first AbramsTrek “reboot” movie, I didn’t even bother with the other two or however many more they did.
Bakshi LOTR, not only disappointing but laughable. Gollum’s lisp, a cartoonish Treebeard animation, jaw droppingly bad dialogue, really unconvincing rotoscoping, pronouncing Saruman as Aruman (why?), the list goes on and on.
Phantom Menace, of course. Jar jar binks, midichlorians, ack!
I decided not to see “American Beauty” in the theater, because it had such mixed reviews. I did finally see it about 5 years later, and loved it - although I could certainly understand why some people wouldn’t have liked it, because they were living it.
About “Crash”, are you referring to the movie about people who are sexually aroused by car crashes, or the movie about a bunch of people in L.A. who are not nice to each other? Didn’t see the former, but did see the latter and didn’t care for it.
Many years ago, there was a much-hyped movie that we went to in the first week or two of release. Because of the hype. DesertDog mentioned in passing, the film that is fondly referred to as “Kevin’s Gate”. The thing they did at the beginning with the Universal logo was quite creative. After that, well, you know the story: road warrior with boats. I mean, we were led to believe it might be good, but. No.
The Westing Game, all Star Wars movies but the original one, the remake of Murder on the Orient Express and my expectations were already low; The Greatest Showman.
Didn’t read the whole thread.
I’m glad of the opportunity to bitch about a long-standing book–>movie gripe.
The 39 Steps by John Buchan is a fabulous WWI spy story with a dashing hero and a bunch of linked adventures. I’ve read it many times. It’s also been made into several movies, each one (that I’ve seen) a total disaster.
The first atrocity (that I’ve seen) was committed by none other than Alfred Hitchcock. The latest one was on PBS a few years ago. It’s a great story with a straightforward plot–why can’t someone just make a movie of the book as it was written? I know the answer to that: there is no love interest for the hero in the book. So each of the bad movies has introduced a woman and that has sent the entire plot off the rails.
If I’m mistaken and there IS a filmed version of The 39 Steps that closely follows the book, will someone direct me to it?
Let me add Stop or My Mom Will Shoot. No, I never expected it to be Oscar worthy, but I did expect that Stallone and Estelle Getty would be comedy gold together. It may actually be the worst comedy I’ve ever seen.
Stop Or My Mom Will Shoot A Sequel.
:eek::eek:
Another example of a great adventure book filmed numerous times but (allegedly) always horribly badly - H. Rider Haggard’s King Solomon’s Mines.
Apparently, it’s been adapted for film six times! Plus a TV mini-series.
I’ve not seen all of the versions, but I understand they are all terrible (often making Allan Quatermain a young dude and adding a love interest for him).
The Golan/Globus version from 1984 was particularly awful. It had almost nothing to do with the Haggard novel, but used an astonishing array of talent (Richard Chamberlin, Sharon Stone, John Rhys-Davies, Herbert Lom) VERY badly. I understand the Stewart Granger version is considered about the best, but I’ve only seen clips. One of these days they may do a decent version, but I wouldn’t hold my breath. As I’ve mentioned above, Haggard’s She has been done before, at least five times (It’s also been adapted as a comic book at least three times, but not by Classics Illustrated – who DID do King Solomon’s Mines) Two of those were brief silent versions. One was in the 1960s with Christopher and Ursula Andress in the title role. I understand it’s awful. Last night I was watching what is considered the definitive version – Merian C. Cooper’s, made by a lot of the team that had done King Kong the previous year. It stars Randolph Scott, a pre-Sherlock Holmes Nigel Bruce (who nevertheless seems rto be playing Dr. Watson) and, in her one and only starring role, Helen Gahagan. After this, she went into politics. It’s good (especially when colorized under the guiding hand of Ray Harryhausen), but it still strays pretty far from the book.
Phantom Menace by a mile.
For me it would be Hail, Caesar!. I like Coen Brothers movies, I liked every actor in the film, I liked the setting, I was really looking forward to their take on 1950s Hollywood - instead it was just a nonsensical mess which didn’t seem to have any direction, or point. I saw it on an aeroplane and still thought it was a waste of time.
The Mist, because Darabont completely subverted the entire thing with his ending, which simultaneously violated the characters and resembled the alternate ending mocked by King himself in the short story.
And World War Z, which has nothing to do with the source movie.
But I do find myself occasionally saying “you kids with your hippity-hop music”, so there’s that.
Watched It (2017) last weekend. Everyone said it was super scary, including Dopers. I thought it was a terrible film. Not scary at all, zero suspense, and the CGI looked terrible.
Arrival.
The hard SF based on linguistics! This will be great!
No.
No chemistry between the male and female scientists, no explanation of translation process - that part was fast-forwarded with a voiceover (!!!), stupid, nonsencial political relations, military clichés. And the main philosophical idea about cyclical time arrow simply didn’t work for me. Perhaps because I watched a movie with a similar idea, only 1000 times better a few days before (Triangle).
I loved Star Trek: The Motion Picture when it first came out because I wanted to love it. Time and reflection have not been kind.
It has a certain stage quality to it. The lead characters are introduced as if they are Elizabeth Taylor and Richard Burton doing a Noel Coward piece in Boise Idaho - merely walking onto the stage is expected to trigger a standing O, and the pacing is set accordingly. But that is small beans compared to the real problems.
At the time ST:TMP was made, there were two approaches to science fiction movies that were in tension with one another. The first was that exemplified by Kubrick’s 2001. Glacial pace. Great deal of space given to revel in the special effects.
The glacial pace worked best in the extremely claustrophobic scenes with HAL. It heightened the excruciating tension. “What do you think you’re doing, Dave? … I can feel my mind going… I’m afraid, Dave…” is utterly masterful to the point where I can easily forgive the excesses of the Star Child sequences.
The other pole is exemplified by Lucas, whose theory was that it didn’t matter how much you spent on the set, you didn’t indulge yourself with onscreen self-congratulatory shots of it except in service of the narrative.
ST:TMP got it wrong. The excruciatingly protracted scenes as the stars left to approach V’ger were obviously modelled on 2001, and designed to provoke wonder. But without the claustrophobia of the HAL scenes or the deep strangeness of the Keir Dullea transformation scenes, they were just…long. Painful lying so. Constantly-checking-the-watch so. ST:TMP hadn’t learned the lessons of introducing characters in the middle of a crisis, or the Lucas principle of the primacy of narrative over the idea that the expense of a set or special effect is proportionate to its screen time.
My biggest disappointment evah was a Tarantino piece I was looking forward to. Tarantino has done amazing work. Then he did a piece called Death Proof as the second part of a larger joint work called Grindhouse. Paying full respect and credit to the eccentric homage ideas embedded in it, it was terrible. Absolute misfire. Should never have seen the light of day.
I don’t know the real answer, but having the two main bad guys be named Saruman and Sauron is a formula for confusion. So maybe the director changed one of the brunettes to a blonde.
And yeah, the film (which I saw in a theater) sucked. I couldn’t believe they were trying to pawn off the rotoscoping as animation — and the movie ads didn’t say it was only the first half of the story.
Okay, but… giant sentient squids!!!
Pretty much nothing will ever kill the joy of that for me.