# Has Any Famous Person Who "Came Out" Ever Truly Surprised You? **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Created:** [February 21, 2010, 1:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/has-any-famous-person-who-came-out-ever-truly-surprised-you/529867 "2010-02-21T13:52:45Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![Rrose\_Selavy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/bcef8e/32.png) [@Rrose\_Selavy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rrose_Selavy)\ **Post date:** [February 21, 2010, 8:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/has-any-famous-person-who-came-out-ever-truly-surprised-you/529867/41 "2010-02-21T20:44:04Z")
She never actually came out as such but I was surprised (though in a way I shouldn’t have been) later learning about Susan Sontag after her death.. She could be pretentious in her wrting and stuff but for me as a student , she sure strikingly looked the part as the [“thinking Man’s Crumpet”](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Thinking_man's_crumpet) - > [@](#): > > Sontag became aware of her attraction to women in her early teens and wrote in her diary aged 15, “so now I feel I have lesbian tendencies (how reluctantly I write this).” Aged 16, she had her first sexual encounter with a woman: “Perhaps I was drunk, after all, because it was so beautiful when H began making love to me … It had been 4:00 before we had gotten to bed … I became fully conscious that I desired her, she knew it, too…”[21][22] > > In the early 1970s, Sontag was romantically involved with Nicole Stéphane (1923-2007), a Rothschild banking heiress turned movie actress.[23] Sontag later engaged in a committed relationship with photographer Annie Leibovitz, with whom she was close during her last years; choreographer Lucinda Childs, writer Maria Irene Fornes, and other women.[24] > > In an interview in The Guardian in 2000, Sontag was quite open about her bisexuality:[25] > > “Shall I tell you about getting older?”, she says, and she is laughing. “When you get older, 45 plus, men stop fancying you. Or put it another way, the men I fancy don’t fancy me. I want a young man. I love beauty. So what’s new?” She says she has been in love seven times in her life, which seems quite a lot. “No, hang on,” she says. “Actually, it’s nine. Five women, four men.” > Many of Sontag’s obituaries failed to mention her significant same-sex relationships, most notably that with Leibovitz. In response to this criticism, The New York Times’ Public Editor, Daniel Okrent, defended the newspaper’s obituary, stating that at the time of Sontag’s death, a reporter could make no independent verification of her romantic relationship with Leibovitz (despite attempts to do so).[26] After Sontag’s death, Newsweek published an article about Leibovitz that made clear reference to her decade-plus relationship with Sontag, stating: “The two first met in the late '80s, when Leibovitz photographed her for a book jacket. They never lived together, though they each had an apartment within view of the other’s.”[27] Susan Sontag’s son, David Rieff, the executor of Susan’s estate, has stated that only sentimental items were bequeathed to Leibovitz.[28] > > Sontag was quoted by Editor-in-Chief Brendan Lemon of Out magazine as saying “I grew up in a time when the modus operandi was the ‘open secret’. I’m used to that, and quite OK with it. Intellectually, I know why I haven’t spoken more about my sexuality, but I do wonder if I haven’t repressed something there to my detriment. Maybe I could have given comfort to some people if I had dealt with the subject of my private sexuality more, but it’s never been my prime mission to give comfort, unless somebody’s in drastic need. I’d rather give pleasure, or shake things up.” > **[Susan Sontag](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Susan_Sontag#Private_life)** > > Susan Lee Sontag (/ˈsɒntæɡ/; January 16, 1933 – December 28, 2004) was an American writer and critic. She mostly wrote essays, but also published novels; she published her first major work, the essay "Notes on 'Camp' ", in 1964. Her best-known works include the critical works Against Interpretation (1966), On Photography (1977), Illness as Metaphor (1978) and Regarding the Pain of Others (2003), the short story "The Way We Live Now" (1986) and the novels The Volcano Lover (1992) and In America... ---
**Author:** ![Beware\_of\_Doug](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/278dde/32.png) [@Beware\_of\_Doug](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Beware_of_Doug)\ **Post date:** [February 21, 2010, 8:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/has-any-famous-person-who-came-out-ever-truly-surprised-you/529867/42 "2010-02-21T20:44:50Z")
> [@Mahaloth](#): > > 1. That guy who played the hyperheterosexual sports DJ on Fraser. AIUI (and ICBW), with the exception of Kelsey Grammer, _only_ gay male actors appeared in continuing roles on the show. ---
**Author:** ![Lamia](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/8e7dd6/32.png) [@Lamia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lamia)\ **Post date:** [February 21, 2010, 9:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/has-any-famous-person-who-came-out-ever-truly-surprised-you/529867/43 "2010-02-21T21:13:06Z")
> [@Uncle\_Brother\_Walker](#): > > I was really confused when Pete Townsend made his announcement. Sheesh, really? Rob I can figure. He’s got a pretty hard bod and all that leather. But _Pete_? C’mon, he’s old, right? > [@Bijou\_Drains](#): > > Townshend said he had 1 gay encounter, that might be what confused the poster above. > > He got divorced from his long time wife and his current girlfriend is Rachel Fuller who is 36 - younger than his 2 daughters. > [@installLSC](#): > > I think you’re referring to a interview he did in 1990. [Here’s a typical contemporary account.](http://news.google.com/newspapers?id=gPkaAAAAIBAJ&sjid=mkcEAAAAIBAJ&pg=5452,1839851&dq=pete+townshend+woman&hl=en) I’ve never heard him mention being gay since, so I wonder if it was a one time phase or a bout of gender confusion. I don’t think Townshend was ever really confused, but he made statements that were confusing to others. His infamous “I know what it feels like to be a woman” remark was in reference to a song he’d written from a woman’s perspective. He has been pretty open about the fact that in Swinging London he, like many others, did all kinds of experimenting. For many years Townshend would, if asked, say that he wasn’t going to deny being bisexual because he had a lot of gay/bi friends and fans and wasn’t going to treat the question like it was something shocking that had to be denied. He also seemed to find it rather amusing that people were so curious about the subject. In a [2002 _Rolling Stone_ interview](http://www.rollingstone.com/artists/petetownshend/articles/story/5939827/pete_townshend_the_rs_interview) he did, when pressed by the interviewer, say that he had a couple of physical encounters with other men when he was young but that he’s never considered himself to be bisexual. ---
**Author:** ![joebuck20](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/74df32/32.png) [@joebuck20](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/joebuck20)\ **Post date:** [February 21, 2010, 9:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/has-any-famous-person-who-came-out-ever-truly-surprised-you/529867/44 "2010-02-21T21:59:28Z")
> [@Rodgers01](#): > > Learning Lily Tomlin was lesbian made me do a double take. Actually, I would have been really surprised to find out she wasn’t gay. > [@Slithy\_Tove](#): > > For years, a complaint trope from the black community was that they were invisible in history books expect for the token appearance of George Washington Carver. > > To which the gay community could say “you think _you’re_ invisible? Only one black guy acknowledged, but what’s the one thing about him not acknowledged?” George Washington Carver was gay? ---
**Author:** ![RealityChuck](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/realitychuck/32/195_2.png) [@RealityChuck](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RealityChuck)\ **Post date:** [February 21, 2010, 10:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/has-any-famous-person-who-came-out-ever-truly-surprised-you/529867/45 "2010-02-21T22:29:08Z")
I’ve never been surprised because I really don’t care whether anyone is gay or not. If they are, that’s OK; also if they’re not. I think it the height of pointlessness to speculate and finding out is no different to me than discovering they were born in Ohio. It’s just a fact about them. So what? ---
**Author:** ![ElvisL1ves](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/5daacb/32.png) [@ElvisL1ves](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ElvisL1ves)\ **Post date:** [February 21, 2010, 10:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/has-any-famous-person-who-came-out-ever-truly-surprised-you/529867/46 "2010-02-21T22:30:07Z")
I knew Pete Townshend got busted for kiddie porn, but not that it was about little boys. But _Raymond Burr_? There’s my winner, too. ---
**Author:** ![statsman1982](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/e79b87/32.png) [@statsman1982](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/statsman1982)\ **Post date:** [February 21, 2010, 10:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/has-any-famous-person-who-came-out-ever-truly-surprised-you/529867/47 "2010-02-21T22:44:46Z")
> [@MPB\_in\_Salt\_Lake](#): > > The actor who played Bulldog Briscoe (Dan Butler) did a great job with the character, as did John Mahoney (also gay) who played Fraiser’s police officer father, Martin Crane. > > ETA—Jim J Bullock?!? John Mahoney is gay? ---
**Author:** ![MPB\_in\_Salt\_Lake](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/c0e974/32.png) [@MPB\_in\_Salt\_Lake](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MPB_in_Salt_Lake)\ **Post date:** [February 21, 2010, 10:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/has-any-famous-person-who-came-out-ever-truly-surprised-you/529867/48 "2010-02-21T22:51:55Z")
> [@statsman1982](#): > > John Mahoney is gay? Well, I certainly can’t personally attest to it, but I have read that both here on SDMB, and other places as well. (and until I first read that John Mahoney was gay, probably right here on The Dope, I also had no idea, and the thought would have never crossed my mind) ---
**Author:** ![Starving\_Artist](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/aeb1de/32.png) [@Starving\_Artist](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Starving_Artist)\ **Post date:** [February 21, 2010, 11:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/has-any-famous-person-who-came-out-ever-truly-surprised-you/529867/49 "2010-02-21T23:32:58Z")
Rock Hudson was the big surprise to me, even though I’d heard the old “marriage to Jim Nabors” joke more than a few times. My stepfather also worked for a while for a true Hollywood biggie by the name of Bill Goetz, and as a result he got to know lots of movie business people, and he told me that it was pretty much an open secret that Hudson was gay. Still, I just chalked all that up to baseless gossip (and perhaps jealousy), so it did come as something of a surprise to me when it turned out that Hudson really was gay after all. Raymond Burr would have been more of a surprise except for the fact that he’d been single for so long and and had the long term live in arrangement with Robert Benevides. Plus I’d read/heard rumblings for years. But just to look at either of them during their heyday and think they were gay? Not at all. ---
**Author:** ![kushiel](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/bbce88/32.png) [@kushiel](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kushiel)\ **Post date:** [February 21, 2010, 11:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/has-any-famous-person-who-came-out-ever-truly-surprised-you/529867/50 "2010-02-21T23:46:24Z")
Okay, you’re all going to have to give me a break on this one. So I was slowly getting into the fantasy genre, having read LotR when I was 13, and I think the first movie came out that year. I had never seen Ian McKellan in anything else (I didn’t come from a movie watching family). So imagine my surprise when I’m watching the Oscars and it shows a shot of him holding hands with this much longer man. I was like…okay, that’s not the way you hold hands with your son, so…whoa, he’s gay! Okay, you can stop laughing at me now. ---
**Author:** ![Rrose\_Selavy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/bcef8e/32.png) [@Rrose\_Selavy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rrose_Selavy)\ **Post date:** [February 22, 2010, 12:22am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/has-any-famous-person-who-came-out-ever-truly-surprised-you/529867/51 "2010-02-22T00:22:08Z")
A longer man? Is that the same as a taller man? - ---
**Author:** ![Rachael\_Rage](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/71c47a/32.png) [@Rachael\_Rage](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rachael_Rage)\ **Post date:** [February 22, 2010, 12:46am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/has-any-famous-person-who-came-out-ever-truly-surprised-you/529867/52 "2010-02-22T00:46:27Z")
> [@statsman1982](#): > > John Mahoney is gay? Crazier still, [he’s British](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/John_Mahoney#Early_life)! ---
**Author:** ![Cazzle](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cazzle/32/75_2.png) [@Cazzle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cazzle)\ **Post date:** [February 22, 2010, 1:23am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/has-any-famous-person-who-came-out-ever-truly-surprised-you/529867/53 "2010-02-22T01:23:46Z")
> [@RealityChuck](#): > > I’ve never been surprised because I really don’t care whether anyone is gay or not. If they are, that’s OK; also if they’re not. > > I think it the height of pointlessness to speculate and finding out is no different to me than discovering they were born in Ohio. It’s just a fact about them. So what? I’m surprised you even clicked on the thread. Portia De Rossi, Sarah Paulson and Amanda Peet surprised me. ---
**Author:** ![Walloon](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/fbc32d/32.png) [@Walloon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Walloon)\ **Post date:** [February 22, 2010, 1:24am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/has-any-famous-person-who-came-out-ever-truly-surprised-you/529867/54 "2010-02-22T01:24:39Z")
> [@kushiel](#): > > So imagine my surprise when I’m watching the Oscars and it shows a shot of him holding hands with this much longer man. I was like…okay, that’s not the way you hold hands with your son, so…whoa, he’s gay! _Entertainment Weekly_ captioned the photo: "Ian McKellan’s career: Hot! Ian McKellen’s Oscar date: Hotter! ---
**Author:** ![middleman](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/e9a140/32.png) [@middleman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/middleman)\ **Post date:** [February 22, 2010, 1:33am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/has-any-famous-person-who-came-out-ever-truly-surprised-you/529867/55 "2010-02-22T01:33:42Z")
> [@Cazzle](#): > > I’m surprised you even clicked on the thread. > > Portia De Rossi, Sarah Paulson and Amanda Peet surprised me. You just told me Peet was gay! ---
**Author:** ![MPB\_in\_Salt\_Lake](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/c0e974/32.png) [@MPB\_in\_Salt\_Lake](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MPB_in_Salt_Lake)\ **Post date:** [February 22, 2010, 1:35am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/has-any-famous-person-who-came-out-ever-truly-surprised-you/529867/56 "2010-02-22T01:35:46Z")
> [@Cazzle](#): > > I’m surprised you even clicked on the thread. > > Portia De Rossi, Sarah Paulson and Amanda Peet surprised me. Is Amanda Peet gay? I ask because I have always found her to be really beautiful, but I can’t seem to find anyone else who agrees with me. None of my friends get it, they all say she is odd looking, but I think she is amazing. (I also saw her on a talk show fairly recently, and she said she had just had a baby, though of course that dosent address her sexual preference) ---
**Author:** ![Bijou\_Drains](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bijou_drains/32/2814_2.png) [@Bijou\_Drains](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bijou_Drains)\ **Post date:** [February 22, 2010, 1:37am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/has-any-famous-person-who-came-out-ever-truly-surprised-you/529867/57 "2010-02-22T01:37:53Z")
Amanda Peet has been married to a guy since 2006 , she had 1 kid with him and is pregnant again. [Celebrity Moms, Adorable Baby Names and Birth Announcements - Us Weekly](http://www.usmagazine.com/momsbabies/news/amanda-peet-were-having-a-baby-girl-2010261) ---
**Author:** ![MPB\_in\_Salt\_Lake](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/c0e974/32.png) [@MPB\_in\_Salt\_Lake](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MPB_in_Salt_Lake)\ **Post date:** [February 22, 2010, 1:40am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/has-any-famous-person-who-came-out-ever-truly-surprised-you/529867/58 "2010-02-22T01:40:35Z")
> [@Bijou\_Drains](#): > > Amanda Peet has been married to a guy since 2006 , she had 1 kid with him and is pregnant again. > > [Celebrity Moms, Adorable Baby Names and Birth Announcements - Us Weekly](http://www.usmagazine.com/momsbabies/news/amanda-peet-were-having-a-baby-girl-2010261) Lucky guy; his wife is stunning. (maybe not exactly the worlds greatest actress, but really good looking, in a unique way) ---
**Author:** ![Cazzle](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cazzle/32/75_2.png) [@Cazzle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cazzle)\ **Post date:** [February 22, 2010, 1:49am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/has-any-famous-person-who-came-out-ever-truly-surprised-you/529867/59 "2010-02-22T01:49:27Z")
Ha, oops! I thought Sarah Paulson was involved with Amanda Peet - turns out, not so much 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![Walloon](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/fbc32d/32.png) [@Walloon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Walloon)\ **Post date:** [February 22, 2010, 2:02am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/has-any-famous-person-who-came-out-ever-truly-surprised-you/529867/60 "2010-02-22T02:02:47Z")
> [@Cazzle](#): > > Ha, oops! I thought Sarah Paulson was involved with Amanda Peet - turns out, not so much 🙂 Maybe you’re thinking of Amanda Bearse of _Married … With Children_. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/has-any-famous-person-who-came-out-ever-truly-surprised-you/529867.md?page=2) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/has-any-famous-person-who-came-out-ever-truly-surprised-you/529867.md?page=4)