I think you’re vastly overestimating the importance of tourists here. If a Caribbean vendor grabs an American tourist, and that tourist hits back, that will, most likely, not even cause the police to be called in unless there’s a serious injury. If there is a serious injury, the police will be called in and the tourist tried in accordance with local law (which may or may not result in an acquittal on the basis of self-defence, as the case may be). That doesn’t cause an international incident; tourists don’t have immunity from the jurisdiction of the countries they visit, and the State Department does not assert that they do. As long as basic fair trial rules and the provisions of the Vienna Convention on Consular Relations (which provide that detainees must be given an opportunity to contact their consulate) are observed, the American embassy won’t interfere, other than perhaps help you get advice from a local lawyer.
My elderly mother worked in a hotel in the Cotswolds, popular with American tourists. When she worked behind the bar and a customer failed to say “please” she would ignore them. If they persisted, she would tell them, as one talking to a three-year-old, why she was not serving them,
Ok, I’ll bite.
What about the Flemish-speaking parts of Belgium?
Probably, yeah. I mean, how much room do you need for cigarettes?
Forgive me, I was being hyperbolic, and failed to make that clear.
Heh, a local guy approached us and started that “I bet I can tell you where you got your shoes” thing. My gf laughed at this and asked him if he wanted to join us for drinks at whichever bar we were headed to.
We ended up buying him a few drinks and sharing some snacks. He definitely added to our experience.
In my case the eldest of the group of “got shoes” con artists was about 15. No free drinks for them.
But you’re certainly right that it would have been an interesting slice-of-another-life conversation had I been able to get them out of their con artist character actoring and into their genuine selves.
IMO/IME those convos are the high point of every trip. You and GF seem especially talented at finding and nurturing them. Bravo for doing it right!
What’s the follow-up and the scam? Do they try to sell you shoes?
They assure you they’ll be able to tell you where you got your shoes, and they try to get you to play along and bet them $20 or whatever.
Then the reveal: “You gotcher shoes on Bourbon Street” meaning where you are standing, not the original place of purchase.
Or: “You got those shoes … on your feet.”
That sounds more like a harmless joke than a scam (unless efforts are made to enforce the $20 “winnings” violently).
The whole con works much better if the conman (always male IME) speaks with the AAVE dialect to a generic white bread suburbanite tourist.
Con Artist (CA): Ah knows where yo got dem shoes.
Mark: No you don’t. You couldn’t possibly.
CA: Oh yeah, ya wants ta bet?
Mark: Sure (thinking “you ignorant idiot”). How much?
CA: Twenny bucks.
Mark: Twenty dollars it is. You’re on.
CA: Yo got dem shoes on yo feet! Hee hee.
Mark: Shit. [feeling stupid while peeling off a Jackson for the kid].
The con works much better on somebody with a wife or a couple of friends in tow. The mark is torn between being a stand up guy admitting he was conned far and square, and trying to renege on the deal and loose face with his audience.
Why is the “where you got your shoes” thing always associated with New Orleans?
Other cities aren’t good enough? 
Apparently, due to a particular reputation for street scams and con artists who prey upon tourists.
In Paris its the “I found this gold ring next to you scam”. I think that I read about it here first and then actually experianced it in Paris. I played along and still have my gold ring today, I paid 5 Euros to be entertained.
I heard about it before my first trip there and was actually happy to hear someone doing it.
I encountered it in Chicago (“on your feet”) along with an attempt to clean my shoes followed by a demand for payment.
We have an Irish friend who lives in Paris. She says there are a lot of (I assume government-sponsored) ads on TV emphasizing the importance of tourism to the economy and treating tourists in a friendly manner. The ads are widely ridiculed by the French public.
That cracks me up! I can visualize that easily and the probable astonishment on the part of the American as I happen to be reading and enjoying this book, there’s a quote that has come up a few times “ It’s the English you know, they’ll do you every time”
I wouldn’t characterize this as unapologetically hostile, but I think it pretty much fits the OP’s bill.
Local vendors and private companies virtually taking over chunks of prime public tourist areas when it’s been technically against municipal code for years. The yoga crackdown has gotten some national press. Is it a free speech issue when 100+ yoga people lay down their mats and effectively block off a small scenic public park overlooking the beach? Maybe it is, but it’s also fucking rude.