# Has anybody ever attended a wedding that ended up not happening? **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [February 15, 2013, 3:25am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/has-anybody-ever-attended-a-wedding-that-ended-up-not-happening/650363 "2013-02-15T03:25:46Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 16\ **Page:** 4
**Author:** ![septimus](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/septimus/32/410_2.png) [@septimus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/septimus)\ **Post date:** [February 19, 2013, 8:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/has-anybody-ever-attended-a-wedding-that-ended-up-not-happening/650363/61 "2013-02-19T20:22:02Z")
There was [a related thread, “Dramatic wedding cancellation stories”](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?p=12828181). There I posted about a canceled wedding I learned of second-hand. ---
**Author:** ![Dr.Girlfriend](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dr.girlfriend/32/193_2.png) [@Dr.Girlfriend](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dr.Girlfriend)\ **Post date:** [February 19, 2013, 8:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/has-anybody-ever-attended-a-wedding-that-ended-up-not-happening/650363/62 "2013-02-19T20:35:59Z")
Almost. My cousin was supposed to get married this weekend, but I got an email from his mom last night saying the wedding is off. No idea what happened, I’m hoping my mom talked to his mom and will then tell me. ---
**Author:** ![bup](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/6bbea6/32.png) [@bup](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/bup)\ **Post date:** [February 19, 2013, 11:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/has-anybody-ever-attended-a-wedding-that-ended-up-not-happening/650363/63 "2013-02-19T23:09:06Z")
> [@Dr.Girlfriend](#): > > Almost. My cousin was supposed to get married this weekend, but I got an email from his mom last night saying the wedding is off. No idea what happened, I’m hoping my mom talked to his mom and will then tell me. And then you’ll tell all of us! ---
**Author:** ![Shoeless](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/shoeless/32/7099_2.png) [@Shoeless](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shoeless)\ **Post date:** [February 19, 2013, 11:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/has-anybody-ever-attended-a-wedding-that-ended-up-not-happening/650363/64 "2013-02-19T23:53:38Z")
Almost, once. The first wedding for one of my college roommates. The bride and two of her bridesmaids took off the morning of the wedding with a bottle of something and went and got drunk. An hour before the wedding, most of us in the wedding party were already at the church, nobody had any clue where the bride was, and everybody was wondering whether the wedding was going to happen or not. Finally there was a phone call from the bride’s parents’ house, they had finally showed up and they were getting dressed and ready. (One of the bridesmaids was tall and thin, one was short and stocky, and they were so drunk they wound up putting each other’s dresses on, and couldn’t figure out why they didn’t fit.) I think the minister was seriously thinking about calling it off, and the bride’s father told my ex-roommate “If you want to back out now, I’d understand.” But the wedding went on. The bride staggering down the aisle of the church was like a scene out of “Sixteen Candles”. Needless to say, that marriage didn’t last more than a couple of years. ---
**Author:** ![Morbo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/morbo/32/389_2.png) [@Morbo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Morbo)\ **Post date:** [February 20, 2013, 12:07am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/has-anybody-ever-attended-a-wedding-that-ended-up-not-happening/650363/65 "2013-02-20T00:07:37Z")
I posted in the [link](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showpost.php?p=12787449&postcount=2) in post #61 above, but mine was basically not that bad. I went to a college friend’s wedding years ago where they got in a fight the night before, so we all spent the weekend hanging out and having fun, since most of us knew each other in college and treated it like a fun reunion. The main reason was that the wedding planning brought out the worst in her, and the groom called it off. They never spoke again. ---
**Author:** ![AngelSoft](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/angelsoft/32/440_2.png) [@AngelSoft](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AngelSoft)\ **Post date:** [February 20, 2013, 1:04am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/has-anybody-ever-attended-a-wedding-that-ended-up-not-happening/650363/66 "2013-02-20T01:04:07Z")
As much as it sucks for the other party, I applaud the people who realize it’s a mistake and call it off. It’s something I wish I’d done but it’s so much pressure. The money spent, the time lost, the inconvenience it would cause numerous people. Good on them for not just going through with it and regretting it. ---
**Author:** ![Nawth\_Chucka](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/c57346/32.png) [@Nawth\_Chucka](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Nawth_Chucka)\ **Post date:** [February 20, 2013, 1:47am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/has-anybody-ever-attended-a-wedding-that-ended-up-not-happening/650363/67 "2013-02-20T01:47:18Z")
My brother and his most recent wife got in a screaming match on the way from their house to the city building where the J of P ceremony was. (They lived together w/ her two daughters). By the time they got to where we, their invited guests, were waiting for them in the library they were no longer speaking to each other (they made that very clear). Their vows were the only thing they said to each other for the rest of the day and it made even the small lunch afterward at their house so miserable I begged off to drive 2.5 hours home. They made it another few years but it would have been better in the long run if they hadn’t gotten married. ---
**Author:** ![bengangmo](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/50afbb/32.png) [@bengangmo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/bengangmo)\ **Post date:** [February 20, 2013, 7:27am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/has-anybody-ever-attended-a-wedding-that-ended-up-not-happening/650363/68 "2013-02-20T07:27:59Z")
> [@delphica](#): > > Not me, but my mom got a phone call the morning of a wedding – the daughter of a family friend (so I had known her while growing up) was set to get married, and I guess that morning decided she couldn’t go through with it. My mom reports the phone call was from the mother of the bride (so my mom’s friend) who simply said “We will not be having the wedding today, I’m sorry for any inconvenience.” And my mom, who is very polite, simply said “Please be assured there is no inconvenience.” Then she called me. 😃 > > In the movies, when this happens sometimes they have a big party because they’ve already paid for the reception hall and food and alcohol, etc. but that did not happen here. I guess they just took the financial hit. It was a large wedding, too – church, elegant reception hall, 200+ guests, the whole shebang. > > Piecing together more information after the fact, what seems to have happened is that the intended bride realized that she did not want to be married to this person, but the arrangements were already underway and she felt embarrassed to call things off. I think she was also hopeful that maybe her feelings were more like “pre-wedding nerves” and that by the time the wedding happened, she would have resolved her misgivings. The closer the wedding got, the more she felt trapped into it, until late the night before, she panicked and finally talked to her parents and they supported her decision to cancel. As far as I know, the guy didn’t “do” anything - he hadn’t cheated on her, he hadn’t secretly gambled away their savings. She just realized he wasn’t the one for her, and felt guilty and mortified about backing out of the engagement. I attended a wedding of a school friend under the exact same circumstances. Except in this case, the parents said to the bride “Either get married or pay us back for the wedding” She got married I understand they were divorced less than 2 weeks later. ---
**Author:** ![Junkman209](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/junkman209/32/5522_2.png) [@Junkman209](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Junkman209)\ **Post date:** [February 20, 2013, 6:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/has-anybody-ever-attended-a-wedding-that-ended-up-not-happening/650363/69 "2013-02-20T18:08:32Z")
> [@AngelSoft](#): > > As much as it sucks for the other party, I applaud the people who realize it’s a mistake and call it off. It’s something I wish I’d done but it’s so much pressure. The money spent, the time lost, the inconvenience it would cause numerous people. Good on them for not just going through with it and regretting it. Ditto. In the dressing room, just before my wedding, my brother (also my best man) quietly told me, “You know, it’s not too late to back out. Are you sure you want to get married?” I should have listened to him. ---
**Author:** ![rowrrbazzle](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/rowrrbazzle/32/414_2.png) [@rowrrbazzle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/rowrrbazzle)\ **Post date:** [February 21, 2013, 6:15am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/has-anybody-ever-attended-a-wedding-that-ended-up-not-happening/650363/70 "2013-02-21T06:15:52Z")
When I was very young, I went to a wedding with my family. The reception was small and was at someone’s house. I knew something was wrong, but I was too young to make sense of it. Years later I learned that the groom had been somewhat pressured to marry this woman (not very attractive, unfortunately). At the reception he just decided enough was enough and left. Shortly thereafter the marriage was annulled. ---
**Author:** ![Hari\_Seldon](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/hari_seldon/32/5173_2.png) [@Hari\_Seldon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hari_Seldon)\ **Post date:** [February 21, 2013, 2:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/has-anybody-ever-attended-a-wedding-that-ended-up-not-happening/650363/71 "2013-02-21T14:02:07Z")
It has never happened to anyone I knew (although I was supposed to be best man to my best friend, but the wedding was called off a week or so before), but it was close. My sister was pregnant. Both she and her boyfriend were happy to marry (and are still married almost 47 years later). A small wedding was prepared, at my mother’s house, with maybe 20 guests. The morning of the wedding, my sister started staining. Off to the hospital where she had a miscarriage. Wedding off. They did a D & C and then she came home. Suddenly she and her boyfriend looked at each other and said, “Why not?” So the wedding took place as planned. But it was a near thing. ---
**Author:** ![GESancMan](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/gesancman/32/2923_2.png) [@GESancMan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/GESancMan)\ **Post date:** [February 21, 2013, 3:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/has-anybody-ever-attended-a-wedding-that-ended-up-not-happening/650363/72 "2013-02-21T15:32:31Z")
Yep. When I was around ten years old we went to my cousin’s wedding - it was an out-of-town trip for us, three hours away, so we went for the weekend. The night before the wedding my cousin and his fiancee got in a huge fight, and my cousin hit the road. He didn’t come back until a couple of hours before the wedding was supposed to happen, at which point his girlfriend told him it was over. The wedding and reception was to take place at his parents’ house, so with such short notice they just had a party. Cousin and his girlfriend did wind up getting married for real, about a year later (on their own dime, and they planned it themselves). The divorce followed within a couple of years after that. ---
**Author:** ![Dr.Girlfriend](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dr.girlfriend/32/193_2.png) [@Dr.Girlfriend](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dr.Girlfriend)\ **Post date:** [February 21, 2013, 5:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/has-anybody-ever-attended-a-wedding-that-ended-up-not-happening/650363/73 "2013-02-21T17:11:16Z")
> [@bup](#): > > And then you’ll tell all of us! Ok, here’s the story. The wedding has been “postponed indefinitely”. Cousin had been getting cold feet, thinking he was too young to get married. He’s 21, she’s 20. He finally got the nerve to say something to her, and to his surprise she agreed that they were too young. She wants to finish school first. Good for them, I wish I had done that when I was getting married at 19! ---
**Author:** ![Hottius\_Maximus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/3ab097/32.png) [@Hottius\_Maximus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hottius_Maximus)\ **Post date:** [February 21, 2013, 9:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/has-anybody-ever-attended-a-wedding-that-ended-up-not-happening/650363/74 "2013-02-21T21:53:46Z")
> [@Dr.Girlfriend](#): > > Ok, here’s the story. The wedding has been “postponed indefinitely”. Cousin had been getting cold feet, thinking he was too young to get married. He’s 21, she’s 20. He finally got the nerve to say something to her, and to his surprise she agreed that they were too young. She wants to finish school first. > > Good for them, I wish I had done that when I was getting married at 19! Thanks for the update and GOOD FOR THEM! I wish them much success and happiness, even if it happens to be apart from each other. This brings up an interesting point, however. Why do people propose (and accept, for that matter) if they think they are too young? Family pressures? Avoidance of hurt feelings? (which will only surface much worse later on). Just curious. ---
**Author:** ![AngelSoft](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/angelsoft/32/440_2.png) [@AngelSoft](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AngelSoft)\ **Post date:** [February 21, 2013, 10:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/has-anybody-ever-attended-a-wedding-that-ended-up-not-happening/650363/75 "2013-02-21T22:08:14Z")
> [@Hottius\_Maximus](#): > > Thanks for the update and GOOD FOR THEM! I wish them much success and happiness, even if it happens to be apart from each other. This brings up an interesting point, however. Why do people propose (and accept, for that matter) if they think they are too young? Family pressures? Avoidance of hurt feelings? (which will only surface much worse later on). Just curious. This is just a guess, but maybe they just caught up in the moment. I have a cousin who’s barely 19 who just announced her engagement to her boyfriend of like…a year. I think she’s absolutely idiotic to be doing it, but she just ‘loves him so much, it just feels right’. I think that the younger people are still kinda stuck in the high school mentality of ‘this is true love and it will never stop!’ ---
**Author:** ![Dr.Girlfriend](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dr.girlfriend/32/193_2.png) [@Dr.Girlfriend](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dr.Girlfriend)\ **Post date:** [February 22, 2013, 12:59am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/has-anybody-ever-attended-a-wedding-that-ended-up-not-happening/650363/76 "2013-02-22T00:59:47Z")
> [@AngelSoft](#): > > This is just a guess, but maybe they just caught up in the moment. I have a cousin who’s barely 19 who just announced her engagement to her boyfriend of like…a year. I think she’s absolutely idiotic to be doing it, but she just ‘loves him so much, it just feels right’. I think that the younger people are still kinda stuck in the high school mentality of ‘this is true love and it will never stop!’ I think the high school mentality is correct. My cousin and his fiancee have been dating since high school, and everyone just “assumed” they were getting married. Maybe they still will, they haven’t broken up. He just posted a picture of them on Facebook looking all cozy, so who knows. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/has-anybody-ever-attended-a-wedding-that-ended-up-not-happening/650363.md?page=3)