Has anyone else ever known someone who was a child molester?

Yes, unfortunately, I know four of them.

My great-uncle, maternal grandmother’s brother. I’m a bit hazy on the details of this one but he did something inappropriate with one of my mom’s cousins and my grandmother banned him from her presence. I’m not even sure if he’s still alive at this point.

Former boss’s dad. Guy spent some time in prison when he got caught with a girl he was tutoring. He’s out of jail now.

Friend’s husband got caught molesting my friend’s daughter. My friend wasn’t married to this guy at the time but she went ahead and married him even after the abuse came to light. I don’t really have much to do with this friend anymore and not surprisingly neither does her daughter. He’s still in jail and will be for a long time.

Aunt by marriage’s brother, he was also a friend of my dad’s from high school. His granddaughter accused him of molesting her. Aunt and uncle swear up and down that he’s innocent and that the girl’s parents made her say it to keep him from seeing her. But the guy plead guilty and as far as I know he’s still in jail.

My uncle’s ex-wife’s brother (so, my cousins’ uncle) was sent away for messing with his stepdaughter, I believe it was. Stupid family, stupid dude. Good riddence.

It was recently posted on Facebook that this younger kid we used to let hang out with us grew up to be a martial arts instructor and purveyor of child porn. So that’s awesome.

By official count three accused; two totally exonerated and one simply not convicted.

One was a teacher I worked with and even the kids parents knew going in that it was bogus but the accusation was made (page 1) and she was totally cleared (page 27).

The other was a priest; in his case he was basically proven not to have done anything himself but he had loaned some family retreat to another priest who did. I honestly believe he didn’t know what was happening - he was just stupid and loved showing off his family’s wealth any way he could.

Number 3 was a coin flip; no real evidence there and he was tried and released as not guilty but I wouldn’t want to place a bet either way.

Unofficially the odd thing is that I know a couple who probably should have been arrested and convicted but this was back in the 60s and 70s when sometimes things happened that shouldn’t have. And when other kids were the only people who knew ------

One girl I graduated with was abused by her father and a couple of his “friends” starting around age 14; it was fairly common knowledge among us kids and she even showed us a couple polaroids he had taken but the couple adults we told were basically “don’t spread stories like that”. She disappeared during our senior year and no one ever heard from her again. We were basically told she ran away but I always had my doubts. Thinking back one of us should have stolen those snapshots and shoved them in someone’s face.

The other was a teacher who started “paying attention” to this one girl in 9th grade – and married her the month after graduation. Last I knew was when they celebrated their 10th anniversary and I met their two little daughters. Something in that always worried me. This was ages ago but I still keep half expecting to see his name pop up on the nightly news.

My grandfather didn’t “get on me”, on his daughters or on my female cousin until we were teenagers, but he molested one of my brothers and my male cousin when they were kids (starting at age 5 or 6). Specifically, he taught them to masturbate in front of his friends. My other brother escaped his attentions simply because he hated (and hates) spectator sports, as the abuse would take place when grandpa took the boys to soccer matches.

One of my college teachers was part of his circle of “mutual favors” and a coach for a local boys’ soccer team - while I’m not 100% sure the teacher was a child molester, being part of those circles makes him a high candidate.

Grandpa had been pimped out by his mother at age 11: she sent him to visit certain… women of the neighborhood in exchange, again, for favors. While I didn’t get to meet these women, I did meet the old bitch, who was also extremely abusive to my great-aunt (“where is that imbecile” was the usual call).

From 6th-12th grade I attended school with a boy named Robert. He attracted a fair amount of attention, none of it good: He was obese and very slovenly, and his behavior was thoroughly obnoxious.

In August of our Junior year (11th grade), at schedule pickup day, I noticed Robert walking through the cafeteria, trailing behind his swiftly striding, disdainful-looking father. Robert looked like he’d cleaned up rather nicely, to my great surprise. I mentioned this to my mother. She told me that, earlier in the year, Robert had apparently been arrested for raping his five-year-old sister.

“He’s a predator,” she (my mother) said. “Stay away from him.” She elaborated that Robert’s mother was dead and his father didn’t want anything to do with him, and thus was never around. I distinctly remember Robert being dropped off at school one day from a vehicle that never even pulled into the parking lot, and may not have come to a complete stop.

I can’t really say I was surprised, in contrast to many stories like this. It was creepy to see him in school for the next two years, but for whatever reason I have more memories of the times I would run into him in the couple of years after graduation. I could see his sex-offender registration periodically updated online for several years with new photos and new information, such as a period of homelessness.

Eventually, since he was still a juvenile at the time of his arrest and sentencing, he was removed from the registry (his youth also saved him from a very long prison sentence.) He’s gone to community college and worked on campus, and seems to have gone into game design. He has a Facebook page, and nobody from school seems to be on his friends list.

I wonder how his sister is doing. I hope she’s OK. I shudder to think of what it was like in that household, and what exactly transpired during and after the crime itself, since he was arrested quite a long way from home.

That’s generally the case for people who are into prepubescent children, who haven’t really started to express any secondary sexual characteristics yet. Since the teacher mentioned was a middle school teacher, he might have been going after thirteen or fourteen year olds - kids who are starting to get some grown-up features. Technically speaking, the guy wouldn’t be a pedophile. But still very much a child molester.

I do. He was a coach.

I haven’t heard that before. Can you tell me where you got that information?

I could swear I’ve read not just this story, but these exact words, before here on the Dope or elsewhere, but searching seems to turn up nothing. Weird. (Not intending here to cast any aspersions–none are applicable–just noting this really strong sense of deja vu I’m getting.)

I’ve told the story here before.

Well my sixth grade teacher had a thing for boys and just boys.
He was the “cool” teacher till one day he wasn’t there anymore.

When I went to high school, the neighborhood I lived in was in the city, but abutted the county line. The bus I rode, when I rode it, which wasn’t consistently, was about a ten minute walk from the house, and then just a six or seven minute ride to school. There was a girl who lived along the rural rode that ran through the county not very far from the county line, and the bus that was supposed to take her to school was something like an hour-long ride that went up along the whole rural road, so she cut through the field, and someone’s yard, and walked to our bus stop, which was probably a twenty minute walk, and took our bus.

I used to talk to her sometimes, especially my freshman year, when I was new, and didn’t know anyone but my cousin, and we ended up in a class together. We never got to be close friends, but she had a horse, which I thought was the coolest thing ever, and I went over to her place a few times to see the horse. I’d just moved from New York, where only really rich people owned horses.

She lived with her grandmother in some sort of story where her parents lost custody of her, that I never was clear on, and didn’t want to pry-- I found out later her father was in prison, and she didn’t know where her mother was.

She had an uncle who used to come over, and her was very affectionate with her. Now, I was living with my aunt and uncle at the time, which sort of gave us something in common, I guess, and my uncle was affectionate with me, but in a fatherly way. There was something creepy about her uncle. He used to rub her back and her butt constantly whenever he talked to her.

Anyway, toward the end of our sophomore year, she shot and killed him, after he tried to rape her one more time than she could take. She ended up going to the women’s prison for it, and she started out with a pretty long sentence, but this was before the battered women’s defense was available. She got her sentence commuted at an appeal, because she hadn’t been able to use self-defense at her original trial, and then was paroled early for good behavior. I ran into her a couple of times, and things turned out surprisingly well for her. I won’t go onto the details, but she was in a good marriage, and she and her husband had taken over a crap business and turned it completely around, and performed a public service at the same time.

Really, she ought to write a book.

The uncle’s grave has a huge headstone, in the cemetery in the middle of town, where I know several people who are buried; I guess the grandmother really mourned him. She had one son in prison, while this son had honorable military service, and an advanced degree, and worked in aeronautics. She’d been proud of him, and her world just fell apart. I think she blamed the granddaughter; at any rate, she died just a few years later.

I wrote letters to the girl when she was in prison, but after she was released, we lost touch for years until we happened to run into each other. I didn’t recognize her, but she recognized me. She had little kids at the time, and they were beautiful.

Because he had actually done something to someone, or because it was just a matter of time until he did?

Well you get pedophiles who primarily or only abuse children of a particular gender, certainly.
However, it’s a bit misleading to refer to them as “straight” or “gay” because you get cases where the abuser dates women in his adult relationships, but then also abuses boys, for example.
Are those men in the closet, or is it that boys look androgynous anyway, and the reason for targeting boys is something else?

I think it’s a complex subject, which would be interesting if it were not so unpleasant to think about.

Child molesters pick their victims for all kinds of weird reasons. Some molest only their own children, because those children “belong” to them, and others avoid their own children because of the incest taboo, or a desire not to get caught, or a preference for a “fresh” victim each time.

Some men who are attracted to young teens have a virginity fetish.

The list goes on.

Someone I was in high school with is now in prison for molesting his underage step-daughter. We weren’t friends, exactly, but we were friendly - we were both members of the speech and debate team, so we spent a fair amount of time together on tournament days.

I contributed to getting one child molester locked up after he made admissions of his crime while chatting over the internet. I turned the chat logs over to the state police who continued the investigation from there and arrested him.

He was a school teacher and apparently his arrest provoked a lot of disbelief in the community. Nevertheless he confessed and pled guilty. He served a few years but is out of prison now.

Yeah, an uncle (generically called uncle because of his age bracket, but actually the husband of my first cousin once removed). He routinely molested several of his eight children for years, was convicted multiple times before his wife left him, went to prison for it for a while, and is now non grata to his (now adult) kids.

It was a sad, dark, and ugly story, as I imagine all of the ones in this thread are, and most of his kids are fucked up to some degree as adults.

I know two - one of whom had a son on my baseball team for several years and one who I worked closely with at church. Never suspected either and each arrest took me completely by surprise. Both were male, married, had kids and liked sex with young boys other than their own.

I only know of one case-the man was a catholic priest. As far as i know, he had been accused (by a man who claimed the abuse took place 25 years earlier), but never prosecuted. in fact, he died soon after the accusation.
So I really don’t know if the priest had actually abused anyone.