# Has anyone else gone completely stupid? **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [September 15, 2001, 7:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/has-anyone-else-gone-completely-stupid/81865 "2001-09-15T19:54:03Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 18\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![LifeOnWry](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/96bed5/32.png) [@LifeOnWry](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/LifeOnWry)\ **Post date:** [September 16, 2001, 3:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/has-anyone-else-gone-completely-stupid/81865/21 "2001-09-16T15:52:03Z")
> [@](#): > > Why is it always the men who get the bum rap? Well, I can’t speak for anyone else, but in this instance, the man gets the bum rap for two reasons: 1) he happens to be the guilty party and 2) he’s not posting here.😃 ---
**Author:** ![Mobius74](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/b19c9b/32.png) [@Mobius74](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mobius74)\ **Post date:** [September 16, 2001, 4:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/has-anyone-else-gone-completely-stupid/81865/22 "2001-09-16T16:21:09Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by LouisB \* > \*\*Why is it always the men who get the bum rap? If I didn’t clean up after Marcie… \*\* Better check Marcie’s birth records and geneology - I think she may be related to Mrs. Mobius… Sorry, gotta go - have to clear that counter, close some cupboards, get the clothes off the floor… ---
**Author:** ![samclem](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/a9a28c/32.png) [@samclem](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/samclem)\ **Post date:** [September 16, 2001, 4:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/has-anyone-else-gone-completely-stupid/81865/23 "2001-09-16T16:43:26Z")
> [@](#): > > This is just a question which occurred to me while reading this thread…is there something in the male psyche that doesn’t register anything to do with basic housekeeping or what? …It’s not as though I’m Martha Stewart, either. But I’ve found this behavior, as well as related others, to be in the male realm. Is it genetic? Or just pure male laziness? > Or is there another reason which hasn’t occurred to me? I am male, about as lazy as they come, can live with dirty dishes piled high, etc. But my answer is: the offending parties, whether male or female(as posters have offered) have been **enabled** to be this way all their lives. First, by mothers and fathers who pick up after them as children. Who over-protect them much of the time, and think that they are doing their kids a favor. Then, the _enabling_ is continued by a spouse(or a yeoman in some cases). I have nothing to back up my answer other than I have been enabled all my life and I can’t get out of my own way. ---
**Author:** ![Zyada](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/zyada/32/3028_2.png) [@Zyada](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Zyada)\ **Post date:** [September 16, 2001, 5:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/has-anyone-else-gone-completely-stupid/81865/24 "2001-09-16T17:53:32Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by kiz \* > \*\*It’s not as though I’m Martha Stewart, either. But I’ve found this behavior, as well as related others, to be in the male realm. Is it genetic? Or just pure male laziness? > Or is there another reason which hasn’t occurred to me? 😕 \*\* Nope, not in the male realm at all. I’ve been reading this thread thinking “Damn, y’all should be glad your not married to me!” So why do we blame males for this? I believe is is because of the expectations that our culture still has. Women are supposed to keep a clean house, but this isn’t expected of men. So, first, a woman won’t let people visit her unless she’s cleaned the house first even if she’s doesn’t normally keep it clean. OTOH a man is not as likely to clean house before visitors come over. Then, if you have a relationship where the man is neat and the woman is messy, he says “That’s _her_ way” (e.g. focusing on the individual). If you have the reverse, the woman will say “He is such a _man_” (e.g. focusing on the role). Finally, we tend to choose people who have opposite temperaments for our SO, but people of similar temperaments for our friends. So if your a female neatnik, it’s probable that all your friends are neatniks, but your husband and all your friends husbands are slobs. Which tends to reinforce the roles for that group of people, while the opposite group isn’t even seeing this as a role. **Lib** - I prefer Expressive and Analytical ( [The 4 Personality Types: Equivalents & Comparisons - Kindred Grace](http://www.ylcf.org/you/personality-equivalents.htm) ) **SpiderWoman** - you fold underwear? 😕 ---
**Author:** ![lurkernomore](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/d6d6ee/32.png) [@lurkernomore](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lurkernomore)\ **Post date:** [September 16, 2001, 6:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/has-anyone-else-gone-completely-stupid/81865/25 "2001-09-16T18:00:09Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by kiz \* > \*\*This is just a question which occurred to me while reading this thread…is there something in the male psyche that doesn’t register anything to do with basic housekeeping or what? > > My SO will pile a week’s worth of dishes in the sink (he has a dishwasher, BTW), and would add another week’s worth to it if you-know-who wouldn’t rinse and put them in the dishwasher. I don’t have a problem with leaving a couple of dishes/cups/whatever in the sink, but a _week’s_ worth??? > > It’s not as though I’m Martha Stewart, either. But I’ve found this behavior, as well as related others, to be in the male realm. Is it genetic? Or just pure male laziness? > Or is there another reason which hasn’t occurred to me? 😕 \*\* umm…\*\* WATER CONSERVATION!!!\*\* The ecology!!! Save the planet!!! Only do full loads! Same for laundry! Turn it inside out and wear it again! That’s the ticket!!! [sub] well, that’s my story, and I’m sticking to it.[/sub] ---
**Author:** ![Spider\_Woman](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/cdc98d/32.png) [@Spider\_Woman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Spider_Woman)\ **Post date:** [September 17, 2001, 12:37am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/has-anyone-else-gone-completely-stupid/81865/26 "2001-09-17T00:37:06Z")
[QUOTE] \*Originally posted by Zyada \* \*\* > [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by kiz \*. . . > **SpiderWoman** - you fold underwear? 😕 \*\* Either that, or stack it in neat piles for the particular wearer. AND I turn it right side out. But lately I haven’t been keeping up with the laundry very well. Not for the last two or three months. ---
**Author:** ![Whammo](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/8dc957/32.png) [@Whammo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Whammo)\ **Post date:** [September 17, 2001, 1:50am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/has-anyone-else-gone-completely-stupid/81865/27 "2001-09-17T01:50:55Z")
You sound like my GF… My philosophy is this… “dont sweat the small stuff”. He could be dead or trapped under rubble and dying. The small shit wouldn’t seem so annoying, you’d give anything to have those small annoyances back. So thats what I always say. Dont sweat the small stuff. ---
**Author:** ![toshirodragon](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/e68b1a/32.png) [@toshirodragon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/toshirodragon)\ **Post date:** [September 17, 2001, 4:27am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/has-anyone-else-gone-completely-stupid/81865/28 "2001-09-17T04:27:12Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by FairyChatMom \* > \*\*Have no fear! There is hope!! As I approach my 18th anniversary, I have just about succeeded in getting my husband to turn off lights when he leaves a room. I no longer come home to find the bathroom fully aglow. \*\* NIce to know I am not the only one to come home to find the bathroom lights on… “Umm have you been home today?” “No not since I left” “Oh, did you think the cats would get lost in a dark bathroom trying to find their waterdish…?” ---
**Author:** ![Shirley\_Ujest](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/45deac/32.png) [@Shirley\_Ujest](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shirley_Ujest)\ **Post date:** [September 17, 2001, 5:08am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/has-anyone-else-gone-completely-stupid/81865/29 "2001-09-17T05:08:19Z")
**LifeOnWry** I thought I had written your OP. You mean, MY HUSBAND is not the ONLY one who suffers from _Locatus Dishwasherus_? My theory is that if a tool or remote control is not involved, men ( in general) are not interested. I would like it known for the records that my own tool box is routinely raped and pillaged by Mr. Wonderful because, well, he can never locate his tools \*\*because he never freakin’ puts them away \* Does any one else suffer this same dilemma? Presently, I am working on a very manly kitchen sized excavator that will clean out our sink and deposit the dishes into the dishwasher. (Actually, I am working on - in theory only - a self cleaning dish cupboard.) ---
**Author:** ![Spider\_Woman](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/cdc98d/32.png) [@Spider\_Woman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Spider_Woman)\ **Post date:** [September 17, 2001, 10:48am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/has-anyone-else-gone-completely-stupid/81865/30 "2001-09-17T10:48:32Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Shirley Ujest \* > . . .\*\*because he never freakin’ puts them away \* Does any one else suffer this same dilemma? > \*\* **imthjckaz** leaves tools scattered all over the house. **Whammo** , you’re probably right about not sweating the small stuff. But I wish at least one other person in my house would. It is true, though, that this week’s events sure put a different light on my little problems. ---
**Author:** ![Diane](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/2acd7d/32.png) [@Diane](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Diane)\ **Post date:** [September 17, 2001, 1:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/has-anyone-else-gone-completely-stupid/81865/31 "2001-09-17T13:36:40Z")
> [@](#): > > Turn it inside out and wear it again . . . . > > . . . I’m sticking to it. Yeah, I bet you are. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Saint\_Zero](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/c4cdca/32.png) [@Saint\_Zero](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Saint_Zero)\ **Post date:** [September 17, 2001, 1:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/has-anyone-else-gone-completely-stupid/81865/32 "2001-09-17T13:52:37Z")
now wait a durn minute… My wife and I share a lot, but one trait most of all. Both of us are slobs. Fortunately, I’m very quick at washing dishes (dishwasher? You mean they have machines that can do that? A-freaking-mazing!!). The rest of it usually gets done eventually. I have found I have to leave certain things certain places, otherwise it’s lost totally. Like my shoes, which I only found this morning after being missing all weekend. ---
**Author:** ![kabbes](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/e99b99/32.png) [@kabbes](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kabbes)\ **Post date:** [September 17, 2001, 2:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/has-anyone-else-gone-completely-stupid/81865/33 "2001-09-17T14:05:50Z")
The poor **kabbess** is inflicted with an unfortunate condition. This renders her incapable of carrying cups, plates and glasses downstairs after she has used them. I do my best to assist her by taking them down instead and I fear that no cure shall ever be found. The problem manifests itself in other ways. Clothes are impossible to lift from the floor where they are inevitably dropped. Papers are destined to not be placed in their proper place. Items are condemned to be strewn around the house. Apparel and washing are incompatible concepts. However in the kitchen she becomes cleanliness incarnate. I always thought I was quite neat, making sure I washed up after EVERY meal and so forth. It seemed that I had a lot to learn. It needs to _glitter_. It’s a _team_ effort, I guess. Just wish that I could be the substitute. pan ---
**Author:** ![TroubleAgain](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/e480ec/32.png) [@TroubleAgain](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TroubleAgain)\ **Post date:** [September 17, 2001, 2:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/has-anyone-else-gone-completely-stupid/81865/34 "2001-09-17T14:12:17Z")
[QUOTE] \*Originally posted by samclem \* \*\* > [@](#): > > But my answer is: the offending parties, whether male or female(as posters have offered) have been **enabled** to be this way all their lives. First, by mothers and fathers who pick up after them as children. Who over-protect them much of the time, and think that they are doing their kids a favor. Then, the _enabling_ is continued by a spouse(or a yeoman in some cases). > \*\* We are both slobs at my house. I have never been “enabled” to be a slob, and absolutely resent the fact that all my life I’ve been looked to as an unpaid housekeeper (parents and husband), which might account for how much I HATE housework. I admit to having “enabled” my hubby when we first got married because it was all new and sweet and I wanted to “do things for him”. Now, dammit, I’m working 50 hours a week and I want him to be a grownup. As far as “not sweating the small stuff”, well, okay, I can go with that to a degree, but somebody better start sweating it, or we’ll get buried under dishes and laundry. We can’t let things like what happened this week become an excuse for ignoring responsibility. Time to get back to LIFE for those of us who still have ours. ---
**Author:** ![Cazzle](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cazzle/32/75_2.png) [@Cazzle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cazzle)\ **Post date:** [September 17, 2001, 2:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/has-anyone-else-gone-completely-stupid/81865/35 "2001-09-17T14:30:48Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by LouisB \* > \*\*Why is it always the men who get the bum rap? If I didn’t clean up after Marcie, the kitchen counter would collapse under the weight of dirty dishes. \*\* **Mr Cazzle** , who gave you permission to broadcast the intimate details of my bad habits to all these people? Oh, sure, you call yourself **“LouisB”** and refer to me as **“Marcie”** , but I’m on to you. And the day you can start picking on me is the day you don’t leave your dirty socks under the computer desk. Not that it’s my problem now I’ve started leaving them there for you to wash. The very worse bad habit you have, however, is putting the vacuum cleaner away **without retracting the cord**. All you need to do is put your foot on the little button with the picture of the cord on it, but can you do this? Apparently not. My worst habits include: Washing most of the dishes (eventually), but shirking when it comes time to wash frypans and other large dishes. They only get done when I need to use them or I know my mother is coming to visit. Forgetting to put things away. Piling masses of books on my bedside table because I always forget to return the one I’ve finished to the bookshelf when I go to get another one to read. Your worst habits include: Leaving the toilet lids open, despite my repeated requests that you try to recall that the cats think an open toilet is a kitty wading pool. Leaving your breakfast bowl where ever you happen to be when eating. Sometimes you run out of space on your desk, and balance the bowl on your computer where a cat is sure to knock it over, leaving me to both clean the bowl and the carpet. Leaving your shaving cream on the cream bench in the bathroom, where it leaves rust stains that take me an hour to scrub off. When I eventually get around to cleaning the bathroom. ---
**Author:** ![LifeOnWry](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/96bed5/32.png) [@LifeOnWry](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/LifeOnWry)\ **Post date:** [September 17, 2001, 2:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/has-anyone-else-gone-completely-stupid/81865/36 "2001-09-17T14:40:45Z")
All right, all right. In the interest of being fair, I will 'fess up to my own faults (well, some of them. I realize you people don’t have all day here.) I am not so good about emptying my ashtrays, and I tend to pick up and carry whatever one I am using and take it with me wherever I go. Which means that sometimes there are seven ashtrays by the computer and none in the kitchen. I never put the blowdryer away. Ever. All my crafty things are currently in the middle of the kitchen table. When it is time to eat, I will move them all to the sideboard. Where they will most likely stay until I need to use the sideboard, whereupon the things will be on the dining room table. Until I need the dining room table, whereupon they will all get stacked on the ironing board. Lather, rinse, repeat ad infinitum. ---
**Author:** ![kabbes](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/e99b99/32.png) [@kabbes](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kabbes)\ **Post date:** [September 17, 2001, 2:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/has-anyone-else-gone-completely-stupid/81865/37 "2001-09-17T14:47:15Z")
_Please_ don’t leave your half-full tea mug on the floor and wander off. You _know_ how clumsy I am! You also know who’ll clean it up, damn you. ---
**Author:** ![Feynn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/ecb155/32.png) [@Feynn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Feynn)\ **Post date:** [September 17, 2001, 2:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/has-anyone-else-gone-completely-stupid/81865/38 "2001-09-17T14:50:57Z")
I have this problem too, training the people I share this home with seems to be nearly impossible. When I come home in the evening our house is usually lit up like the surface of the sun, I have actually checked and every light in the house has been on despite the fact that everyone is sitting in the livingroom. No-one can give me a reaon why all the lights need to be on. Perhaps all this light is a good thing because it illuminates the entry which is usually piled high with shoes and backpacks. I put up shelves for these items but I guess that moving them five feet to WHERE THEY BELONG is too much effort. Does it take a rocket scientist to change the toilet paper roll? It seems like it. How difficult is it to take your clothes to the hamper after you have a shower? The boy was asked repeatedly to take out the garbage yesterday and I hit the point where I was tired of nagging him to do it. I was too busy doing laundry and dishes and cleaning up the house to stay on his case. I ended up taking out the garbage myself. The boy is none too happy that he has had his priviledges revoked until he starts showing some initiative. I’m done nagging, when I see results the priviledges will be reinstated. This goes for the other boy as well. I don’t think that I can ground Lola for leaving her stuff lying around. 🙂 [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/has-anyone-else-gone-completely-stupid/81865.md?page=1)