# Has anyone else seen this? **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [April 29, 2000, 11:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/has-anyone-else-seen-this/16873 "2000-04-29T23:11:51Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![aha](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/eada6e/32.png) [@aha](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/aha)\ **Post date:** [April 29, 2000, 11:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/has-anyone-else-seen-this/16873/1 "2000-04-29T23:11:51Z")
The NMP Body Toner. I saw it advertised on Howard Stern the other night. It is suppose to hook up to your body and recreate the same stimuli in your brain as is there when you lift weights and work out. So…you get to workout without working out!! HAHAHAHA Sorry, It works like this, you attach these electrode thingies to your chest and waist, ( or to your nipples I suppose if you are turned that way) and just plug the unit into an electrical outlet, turn it on and wala’ if you are not instantly electrocuted, you are doing a full burner workout! And it is portable too so you can take it with you to the office and piss off your boss or to your favorite Dunkin Doughnut shop. And the clincher is…easily affordable with payments starting at $49.95. _Starting??_ lol They don’t even bother to tell you the full price. It’s the dumbing of the whole world folks…I tell ya. Oops can they sue me for this? heh heh sorry the opinions above are expressly my own and are not those of the SDMB… the toner is really a breakthrough device in health and I was only kidding. ---
**Author:** ![ultress](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/u/7c8e57/32.png) [@ultress](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ultress)\ **Post date:** [April 29, 2000, 11:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/has-anyone-else-seen-this/16873/2 "2000-04-29T23:24:15Z")
hmmmm you think I could get the same results by sticking a fork in an electrical outlet? ---
**Author:** ![Nanno](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/e9c0ed/32.png) [@Nanno](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Nanno)\ **Post date:** [April 29, 2000, 11:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/has-anyone-else-seen-this/16873/3 "2000-04-29T23:36:28Z")
## And I just joined a fitness club, silly me “I’ll sleep when I’m dead” W. Zevon ---
**Author:** ![aha](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/eada6e/32.png) [@aha](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/aha)\ **Post date:** [April 29, 2000, 11:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/has-anyone-else-seen-this/16873/4 "2000-04-29T23:36:34Z")
I am coming up on my 900th post ultress… you had better get ready to have a spumanti par-tay! ---
**Author:** ![ultress](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/u/7c8e57/32.png) [@ultress](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ultress)\ **Post date:** [April 29, 2000, 11:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/has-anyone-else-seen-this/16873/5 "2000-04-29T23:44:10Z")
Ok, I’m getting ready. But it’s Cristi that jumps out of the cake. How did you join two months after me and have twice the number of posts? I must be a slacker. ---
**Author:** ![Whammo](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/8dc957/32.png) [@Whammo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Whammo)\ **Post date:** [April 29, 2000, 11:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/has-anyone-else-seen-this/16873/6 "2000-04-29T23:49:23Z")
over 10 years ago a highschool friend of mine had a gizmo that sounds like the same type of thing. I tried it… it felt like electricity contracting my muscles… not real pleasent. He paid about $400 for it then (late 80’s). ---
**Author:** ![Osip](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/4491bb/32.png) [@Osip](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Osip)\ **Post date:** [April 30, 2000, 2:53am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/has-anyone-else-seen-this/16873/7 "2000-04-30T02:53:23Z")
Is this thing similar to the wonderous toy used by many Chiropractors? ---
**Author:** ![Llardball](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/f6c823/32.png) [@Llardball](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Llardball)\ **Post date:** [April 30, 2000, 3:27am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/has-anyone-else-seen-this/16873/8 "2000-04-30T03:27:44Z")
I saw a special on MSNBC about these devices. The program showed that the electrode devices only contract the muscle about 4% of complete contraction. For a muscle to gain strength, it must be contracted to 80% of full power. These devices are such a crock of crap it is unbelievable. ---
**Author:** ![Ringo](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/779978/32.png) [@Ringo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ringo)\ **Post date:** [April 30, 2000, 3:44am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/has-anyone-else-seen-this/16873/9 "2000-04-30T03:44:03Z")
So, I’m guessing then that the electronic virtual orgasm boxes fall shy of the mark, as well? ---
**Author:** ![Homer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/df788c/32.png) [@Homer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Homer)\ **Post date:** [April 30, 2000, 8:02am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/has-anyone-else-seen-this/16873/10 "2000-04-30T08:02:08Z")
So I guess the workout thing that Bruce Lee wore in that one movie that he claims is equal to 200 pushups in 3 minutes doesn’t actually work, eh? –Tim ---
**Author:** ![voguevixen](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/b5ac83/32.png) [@voguevixen](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/voguevixen)\ **Post date:** [April 30, 2000, 7:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/has-anyone-else-seen-this/16873/11 "2000-04-30T19:00:33Z")
> [@](#): > > \*\*turn it on and wala’ if you are not instantly electrocuted, you are doing a full burner workout! > …It’s the dumbing of the whole world folks…I tell ya. > \*\* It’s effected you already, just look how you spelled _voila_! ---
**Author:** ![aha](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/eada6e/32.png) [@aha](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/aha)\ **Post date:** [April 30, 2000, 7:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/has-anyone-else-seen-this/16873/12 "2000-04-30T19:09:52Z")
> [@](#): > > It’s effected you already, just look how you spelled voila! Dammit vogue ain’t the voila a musical instrument??? ---
**Author:** ![voguevixen](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/b5ac83/32.png) [@voguevixen](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/voguevixen)\ **Post date:** [April 30, 2000, 8:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/has-anyone-else-seen-this/16873/13 "2000-04-30T20:13:00Z")
Sigh, as pricciar kindly pointed out to me: pricciar: And you spelled affected wrong, spelling queen. ::slapping self on forhead:: Anywho, I have a feeling you’re joking, but in case you’re not: Viola, is the instrument you’re thinking of. Or maybe the Suzaphone. 😉 ---
**Author:** ![dragonlady](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/5f8ce5/32.png) [@dragonlady](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dragonlady)\ **Post date:** [April 30, 2000, 8:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/has-anyone-else-seen-this/16873/14 "2000-04-30T20:33:10Z")
Isn’t that “souzaphone”, as in John Phillips Souza?? God I love this board!!! ---
**Author:** ![aha](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/eada6e/32.png) [@aha](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/aha)\ **Post date:** [April 30, 2000, 8:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/has-anyone-else-seen-this/16873/15 "2000-04-30T20:36:18Z")
> [@](#): > > \*\* > Sigh, as pricciar kindly pointed out to me: > > pricciar: And you spelled affected wrong, spelling queen. > > ::slapping self on forhead:: > > Anywho, I have a feeling you’re joking, but in case you’re not: Viola, is the instrument you’re thinking of. Or maybe the Suzaphone. 😉 > \*\* Yes mam, you have it correct, I _was_ joking. 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![voguevixen](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/b5ac83/32.png) [@voguevixen](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/voguevixen)\ **Post date:** [May 1, 2000, 12:12am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/has-anyone-else-seen-this/16873/16 "2000-05-01T00:12:41Z")
> [@](#): > > \*\* > Isn’t that “souzaphone”, as in John Phillips Souza?? > God I love this board!!! > \*\* Of course it is…why did I get out of bed this morning? (For some reason, though, I was under the impression it had been bastardized to “suzaphone” over the years.) Yes, I assume “bastardized” is misspelled too, lol. ---
**Author:** ![malden](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/7bcc69/32.png) [@malden](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/malden)\ **Post date:** [May 1, 2000, 1:42am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/has-anyone-else-seen-this/16873/17 "2000-05-01T01:42:51Z")
“Sousaphone.” ---
**Author:** ![malden](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/7bcc69/32.png) [@malden](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/malden)\ **Post date:** [May 1, 2000, 1:43am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/has-anyone-else-seen-this/16873/18 "2000-05-01T01:43:29Z")
“Sousaphone.” ---
**Author:** ![Persephone](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/ecc23a/32.png) [@Persephone](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Persephone)\ **Post date:** [May 1, 2000, 2:15am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/has-anyone-else-seen-this/16873/19 "2000-05-01T02:15:57Z")
Sorry aha, I missed your 900th post. I was busy trying to rewire my husband’s speaker cabinet through my daughter’s Tickle Me Cookie Monster, in a vain attempt to try & create one of those fat-burning devices myself. It’s not working. I think it’s because the speaker cabinet is a Peavey, and you just can’t hook anything up to this damn thing without it crapping out on ya. Anyway, I’ll do the cake thing for your 1000th post, 'mkay? 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![aha](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/eada6e/32.png) [@aha](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/aha)\ **Post date:** [May 1, 2000, 2:22am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/has-anyone-else-seen-this/16873/20 "2000-05-01T02:22:26Z")
> [@](#): > > \*\* > Anyway, I’ll do the cake thing for your 1000th post, 'mkay? 🙂 > \*\* You got a deal Cristi!!!