# Has anyone here ever seen someone in public and....... **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [May 10, 2013, 5:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/has-anyone-here-ever-seen-someone-in-public-and/658011 "2013-05-10T17:15:50Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![epbrown01](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/7ba0ec/32.png) [@epbrown01](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/epbrown01)\ **Post date:** [May 11, 2013, 2:10am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/has-anyone-here-ever-seen-someone-in-public-and/658011/21 "2013-05-11T02:10:06Z")
> [@nearwildheaven](#): > > I’m mentioning this because there are a lot of people who are hesitant to go out in public, or take their kids out, because they believe people will do this. No there aren’t. ---
**Author:** ![kjbrasda](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/74df32/32.png) [@kjbrasda](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kjbrasda)\ **Post date:** [May 11, 2013, 2:56am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/has-anyone-here-ever-seen-someone-in-public-and/658011/22 "2013-05-11T02:56:19Z")
I have often felt that people are doing this to me, but I also recognize that I have a mental problem relating to my social anxiety and they aren’t really talking about me. ---
**Author:** ![monstro](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/ba9def/32.png) [@monstro](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/monstro)\ **Post date:** [May 11, 2013, 3:02am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/has-anyone-here-ever-seen-someone-in-public-and/658011/23 "2013-05-11T03:02:42Z")
It seems to me that the OP is arguing against a straw man. Social phobics don’t fear that people will talk about them incessantly for the “rest of the day”. But they do worry about leaving a bad impression or embarrassing themselves. Or doing something that will piss someone off. You only have to spend five minutes in the Pit to realize that indeed, strangers frequently create bad first impressions, embarrass themselves, and piss people off. The way to help someone get over this fear is not to say “You big silly, you’re invisible to strangers and no one is even thinking about you!” No, the way to conquer the fear is to embrace the reality that you WILL sometimes create bad impressions and sometimes you WILL make a big fool of yourself, but it won’t be the end of the world when it happens. Because whatever you do, it will likely soon be forgotten. And everyone makes mistakes. ---
**Author:** ![Little\_Nemo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/little_nemo/32/3120_2.png) [@Little\_Nemo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Little_Nemo)\ **Post date:** [May 11, 2013, 3:13am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/has-anyone-here-ever-seen-someone-in-public-and/658011/24 "2013-05-11T03:13:44Z")
Let’s take a step back here. The OP said they’ve never had this feeling or experience. But apparently the OP knows people who feel this way. So could we hear the details on what these people are saying? Because like most people who’ve responded, I’ve never had anyone express this feeling to me. ---
**Author:** ![msmith537](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/d9b06d/32.png) [@msmith537](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/msmith537)\ **Post date:** [May 11, 2013, 12:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/has-anyone-here-ever-seen-someone-in-public-and/658011/25 "2013-05-11T12:59:49Z")
> [@olivesmarch4th](#): > > Everyone in this thread has said, ‘‘no, never have I felt that way.’’ Where are you getting mental illness from? The bizarre OP. ---
**Author:** ![DrFidelius](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/drfidelius/32/3447_2.png) [@DrFidelius](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DrFidelius)\ **Post date:** [May 11, 2013, 1:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/has-anyone-here-ever-seen-someone-in-public-and/658011/26 "2013-05-11T13:07:29Z")
Hellfire. I consider it a wasted day if I were to go out and have no one notice me. Why do you think I wear bow ties? ---
**Author:** ![monstro](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/ba9def/32.png) [@monstro](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/monstro)\ **Post date:** [May 11, 2013, 1:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/has-anyone-here-ever-seen-someone-in-public-and/658011/27 "2013-05-11T13:29:07Z")
> [@msmith537](#): > > The bizarre OP. But the OP isn’t being exactly “supportive” of mental illness, though. Rather, he or she seems to be belittling the fears of the socially anxious by completely mischaracterizing what’s troubling them. Re the mothers with “bad” acting kids–whether autistic or not. These people DO get judged. All the time. Almost daily on the Straight Dope. Hecklers won’t point and laugh at you in the store, but they sure as hell will take their asses home and rant on the internets. And hell, sometimes it’s deserved! The fear of judgment is not an unrealistic fear. It isn’t a healthy one, but it’s not like socially anxious people are suffering from delusions. ---
**Author:** ![CatherineZeta](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/e95f7d/32.png) [@CatherineZeta](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CatherineZeta)\ **Post date:** [May 11, 2013, 6:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/has-anyone-here-ever-seen-someone-in-public-and/658011/28 "2013-05-11T18:55:48Z")
I don’t know about the OP, but the only thing I can think of vaguely related to this is a friend of mine would worry about talking about personal issues in public (such as on the subway) because she was concerned someone she knew might be listening. I think she’s overly paranoid and I haven’t seen her in a while. But even if I do happen to notice someone I usually forget within the hour, even if they did something totally ridiculous. ---
**Author:** ![nearwildheaven](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/90db22/32.png) [@nearwildheaven](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/nearwildheaven)\ **Post date:** [February 4, 2014, 6:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/has-anyone-here-ever-seen-someone-in-public-and/658011/29 "2014-02-04T18:51:19Z")
> [@elbows](#): > > When someone ‘feels’ judgement from others, or tells you they ‘knew’ everyone was looking at them, or they are ‘getting looks’, it’s almost always projection of their issues, it seems to me. There is little point in pointing it out, as they are usually totally blind to it, don’t bother. But should recognize it when you see it regardless. This thread came up in my feed, for some reason. You expressed this better than I ever could. I also happened to think about this kind of thing earlier today, because I have a relative whose tween daughter is autistic (she appears to have a normal IQ but will never live independently :() and she says that when they go out in public, if they see other kids, the other kids will call her names even if they have never seen her before in their life. :eek: Having experienced this myself as a kid, I do find it quite believable. ---
**Author:** ![kayaker](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kayaker/32/441_2.png) [@kayaker](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kayaker)\ **Post date:** [February 4, 2014, 7:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/has-anyone-here-ever-seen-someone-in-public-and/658011/30 "2014-02-04T19:06:40Z")
> [@nearwildheaven](#): > > This thread came up in my feed, for some reason. You wrote the OP. ---
**Author:** ![Boyo\_Jim](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/87869e/32.png) [@Boyo\_Jim](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Boyo_Jim)\ **Post date:** [February 4, 2014, 7:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/has-anyone-here-ever-seen-someone-in-public-and/658011/31 "2014-02-04T19:06:46Z")
> [@cmyk](#): > > Likewise, I have never seen someone follow a mother around at a Kids R Us, setting fire to everything she touches, and screaming “Be Thou Cleansed!” > [@colander](#): > > well, of course not. that’s really more a craft store thing. > [@cmyk](#): > > Yeh, see, I’ve _heard_ that. I don’t frequent craft stores though. That’s because there aren’t many of them left. 😛 ---
**Author:** ![Sterling\_Archer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/f1d935/32.png) [@Sterling\_Archer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sterling_Archer)\ **Post date:** [February 4, 2014, 7:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/has-anyone-here-ever-seen-someone-in-public-and/658011/32 "2014-02-04T19:55:20Z")
> [@nearwildheaven](#): > > I also happened to think about this kind of thing earlier today, because I have a relative whose tween daughter is autistic (she appears to have a normal IQ but will never live independently :() and she says that when they go out in public, if they see other kids, the other kids will call her names even if they have never seen her before in their life. :eek: > > Having experienced this myself as a kid, I do find it quite believable. What do you find believable, that people spend all day talking/thinking about someone else that they saw? Or that kids will call people names that they have never seen before? I think for the sake of the discussion, you need to explain to us in **exact words** what **other people are saying** that makes you feel they have the concerns you claim they are having. I suspect what is going on is that people tend to talk in hyperbole when expressing their worries, and you are taking them too literally. ---
**Author:** ![Ferret\_Herder](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/e47774/32.png) [@Ferret\_Herder](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ferret_Herder)\ **Post date:** [February 4, 2014, 8:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/has-anyone-here-ever-seen-someone-in-public-and/658011/33 "2014-02-04T20:45:59Z")
> [@kayaker](#): > > You wrote the OP. About nine months ago, even. 😛 ---
**Author:** ![Skywatcher](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/skywatcher/32/254_2.png) [@Skywatcher](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Skywatcher)\ **Post date:** [February 4, 2014, 8:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/has-anyone-here-ever-seen-someone-in-public-and/658011/34 "2014-02-04T20:47:01Z")
> [@nearwildheaven](#): > > I have also never seen a crowd of people following a woman around the grocery store while she shopped, laughing at her, and I worked in a grocery store for 3 years, and 4 years at Target. OTOH, I’ve worked in a grocery store for six months; one day we spent my shift talking about the apparently homeless woman who stank up the store. ---
**Author:** ![Amateur\_Barbarian](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/59ef9b/32.png) [@Amateur\_Barbarian](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Amateur_Barbarian)\ **Post date:** [February 4, 2014, 8:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/has-anyone-here-ever-seen-someone-in-public-and/658011/35 "2014-02-04T20:57:14Z")
I once went into my usual grocery store and found it graced by one of the most staggeringly beautiful women I’ve ever seen - not only was she Playboy/Vogue quality, she was dressed to the nine and a halfs and trailing the perfume of the goddesses. Yes, she was being followed around the store… by me and every other male who found some reason to go down those same aisles. I’m sure much talking was done about it. ---
**Author:** ![GrizzRich](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/7ba0ec/32.png) [@GrizzRich](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/GrizzRich)\ **Post date:** [February 4, 2014, 9:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/has-anyone-here-ever-seen-someone-in-public-and/658011/36 "2014-02-04T21:53:22Z")
I’ve done this… But to be fair, if you’d have seen the 60yo+ couple, in matching green tee-shirts, sitting across from each other at McDonalds, talking incessantly to each other/over each other… about completely separate topics. ---
**Author:** ![Amateur\_Barbarian](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/59ef9b/32.png) [@Amateur\_Barbarian](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Amateur_Barbarian)\ **Post date:** [February 4, 2014, 10:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/has-anyone-here-ever-seen-someone-in-public-and/658011/37 "2014-02-04T22:05:48Z")
> [@GrizzRich](#): > > I’ve done this… > But to be fair, if you’d have seen the 60yo+ couple, in matching green tee-shirts, sitting across from each other at McDonalds, talking incessantly to each other/over each other… about completely separate topics. The ur-reality show _Real People_ had a segment like that, long ago. They were interviewing an older couple about some strange hobby, and it turned into an extended take on them both speaking at once, completely ignoring the other, on completely different topics. Very strange and a little sad and exploitative… but tame, of course, compared to much that’s followed. ---
**Author:** ![xizor](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/xizor/32/102_2.png) [@xizor](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/xizor)\ **Post date:** [February 4, 2014, 10:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/has-anyone-here-ever-seen-someone-in-public-and/658011/38 "2014-02-04T22:30:54Z")
Nowadays we don’t talk about them, just take their picture and post it [here](http://www.peopleofwalmart.com/) ---
**Author:** ![nearwildheaven](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/90db22/32.png) [@nearwildheaven](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/nearwildheaven)\ **Post date:** [February 4, 2014, 11:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/has-anyone-here-ever-seen-someone-in-public-and/658011/39 "2014-02-04T23:18:23Z")
> [@kayaker](#): > > You wrote the OP. Actually, I AM the OP. ---
**Author:** ![kayaker](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kayaker/32/441_2.png) [@kayaker](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kayaker)\ **Post date:** [February 4, 2014, 11:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/has-anyone-here-ever-seen-someone-in-public-and/658011/40 "2014-02-04T23:32:35Z")
Glad we straightened that out, then. ETA: maybe somebody else could esplain. I’m tired. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/has-anyone-here-ever-seen-someone-in-public-and/658011.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/has-anyone-here-ever-seen-someone-in-public-and/658011.md?page=3)