# Has Anyone In Your Family Ever Had Their Own Chair? Side Of The Bed? Place On The Couch? **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [October 28, 2010, 1:42am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/has-anyone-in-your-family-ever-had-their-own-chair-side-of-the-bed-place-on-the-couch/558608 "2010-10-28T01:42:58Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![Snowboarder\_Bo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/snowboarder_bo/32/229_2.png) [@Snowboarder\_Bo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Snowboarder_Bo)\ **Post date:** [October 28, 2010, 5:46am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/has-anyone-in-your-family-ever-had-their-own-chair-side-of-the-bed-place-on-the-couch/558608/21 "2010-10-28T05:46:10Z")
> [@Markxxx](#): > > You know you can go to hell for that šŸ˜ƒ I think hellā€™s got all the good bands anyway. ---
**Author:** ![Electric\_Warrior](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/ee7513/32.png) [@Electric\_Warrior](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Electric_Warrior)\ **Post date:** [October 28, 2010, 7:16am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/has-anyone-in-your-family-ever-had-their-own-chair-side-of-the-bed-place-on-the-couch/558608/22 "2010-10-28T07:16:06Z")
We all have ā€˜ourā€™ chairs at the dinner table. Nothing horrible would happen, I donā€™t think, if someone hypothetically were to sit at someone elseā€™s chair, but it simply doesnā€™t happen. Unless itā€™s someoneā€™s birthday and they get the special place at the end of the table. The kids in my family were all born in the early 90s so I donā€™t think itā€™s an age thing. ---
**Author:** ![Nava](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/da6949/32.png) [@Nava](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Nava)\ **Post date:** [October 28, 2010, 7:45am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/has-anyone-in-your-family-ever-had-their-own-chair-side-of-the-bed-place-on-the-couch/558608/23 "2010-10-28T07:45:58Z")
Oh yes. Thereā€™s Momā€™s armchair, and Dadā€™s armchair (which now belongs to Littlebro, but if someone else is using it heā€™ll let them stay, whereas we would never even have considered the notion of sitting down in Dadā€™s armchair). Thereā€™s a lot of confusion setting up spots at the table if there are more people than usual, but eventually the spots get ā€œsetā€ on the second try at most. When we eat at Momā€™s, she has the spot closest to both the pot of food and the door which belongs to The Lady Of The House, and donā€™t even think of moving her even though she will never be the person serving and her being there blocks the logistic chain for those of us who actually do the job; at SiLā€™s, that spot is assigned to the person who will be serving (SiLā€™s-Mom if sheā€™s in, Middlebro if not). The Kidletsā€™ positions determine the positions of their parents around any table. And Momā€™s side of the bed is always defined as ā€œthe one closest to the bathroomā€. ---
**Author:** ![Gatopescado](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/gatopescado/32/5711_2.png) [@Gatopescado](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gatopescado)\ **Post date:** [October 28, 2010, 1:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/has-anyone-in-your-family-ever-had-their-own-chair-side-of-the-bed-place-on-the-couch/558608/24 "2010-10-28T13:03:04Z")
> [@Alice\_The\_Goon](#): > > The left side of the bed is mine, always and forever. Amen. Ah, but from _which perspective_? ---
**Author:** ![The\_wind\_of\_my\_soul](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/ecc23a/32.png) [@The\_wind\_of\_my\_soul](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_wind_of_my_soul)\ **Post date:** [October 28, 2010, 1:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/has-anyone-in-your-family-ever-had-their-own-chair-side-of-the-bed-place-on-the-couch/558608/25 "2010-10-28T13:09:48Z")
If Iā€™m in bed with another person, and the bed is up against a wall, I get the spot away from the wall. Oddly enough, Iā€™m not married, and over the years Iā€™ve slept with a few men (not a ton, mind you, just two or three), but with each one I took the outside. ---
**Author:** ![Sigmagirl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/c89c15/32.png) [@Sigmagirl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sigmagirl)\ **Post date:** [October 28, 2010, 1:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/has-anyone-in-your-family-ever-had-their-own-chair-side-of-the-bed-place-on-the-couch/558608/26 "2010-10-28T13:11:42Z")
Just a few months ago, my friendā€™s husband died suddenly, shortly after their 25th anniversary. She has decided that she is going to switch bedrooms and make the guest bedroom into her room and the previous master bedroom is going to be the guest room. I think it is a good idea, and I hope it will help. (This is extending the topic a bit, I know.) ---
**Author:** ![Shodan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/9f8e36/32.png) [@Shodan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shodan)\ **Post date:** [October 28, 2010, 1:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/has-anyone-in-your-family-ever-had-their-own-chair-side-of-the-bed-place-on-the-couch/558608/27 "2010-10-28T13:28:35Z")
> [@Rita Rudner](#): > > Middle age is the discovery that you have a favorite chair. Mine is the La-Z-Boy in the family room. It has the pillow for my back. No one is allowed there. Other people move around at the dining table, but I always sit at the head. And nobody touches anything in my office. Regards, Shodan ---
**Author:** ![Sattua](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/sattua/32/11906_2.png) [@Sattua](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sattua)\ **Post date:** [October 28, 2010, 1:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/has-anyone-in-your-family-ever-had-their-own-chair-side-of-the-bed-place-on-the-couch/558608/28 "2010-10-28T13:36:02Z")
My parents feel so strongly about right of place that my mother will tell me to give way to my dad _on my own sofa in my own house_. ---
**Author:** ![Malthus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/85f322/32.png) [@Malthus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Malthus)\ **Post date:** [October 28, 2010, 1:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/has-anyone-in-your-family-ever-had-their-own-chair-side-of-the-bed-place-on-the-couch/558608/29 "2010-10-28T13:51:49Z")
Yup, very much. Everyone has ā€œtheirā€ spots. When I was growing up, my grandfather had ā€œhisā€ chair in my parentā€™s house; he always sat in it, and I would never dream of sitting in it - not because someone would tell me not to, but because it was _his_ chair. He died when I was quite young - I think I was 5 or so - and for years after, I would not sit in that chair, to honour his memory - not so much conciously, but it just felt ā€˜wrongā€™ to do so. To this day, I prefer not to sit in it, and heā€™s been gone almost 40 years. ---
**Author:** ![Spice\_Weasel](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/spice_weasel/32/5435_2.png) [@Spice\_Weasel](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Spice_Weasel)\ **Post date:** [October 28, 2010, 1:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/has-anyone-in-your-family-ever-had-their-own-chair-side-of-the-bed-place-on-the-couch/558608/30 "2010-10-28T13:55:57Z")
When I was growing up, my parents had their own couch, that I was not allowed to sit on, even when they werenā€™t home. This wasnā€™t a $3,000 loveseat, it was a plain old sofa. Itā€™s exactly as stupid as it sounds. ---
**Author:** ![BobLibDem](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/boblibdem/32/3149_2.png) [@BobLibDem](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BobLibDem)\ **Post date:** [October 28, 2010, 2:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/has-anyone-in-your-family-ever-had-their-own-chair-side-of-the-bed-place-on-the-couch/558608/31 "2010-10-28T14:22:55Z")
> [@Alice\_The\_Goon](#): > > The left side of the bed is mine, always and forever. Amen. Is that the left side of the bed when you face it from the foot or the left side as you lay in it on your back? ---
**Author:** ![Hello\_Again](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/85e7bf/32.png) [@Hello\_Again](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hello_Again)\ **Post date:** [October 28, 2010, 2:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/has-anyone-in-your-family-ever-had-their-own-chair-side-of-the-bed-place-on-the-couch/558608/32 "2010-10-28T14:30:12Z")
Me and my father are right handed, and my mom & brother are left-handed, so seating order at the table followed a certain logic so no one got jabbed by an elbow. That said, I wouldnā€™t dream of sitting down to dinner in my motherā€™s spot, even if no one else was at the table. It wouldnā€™t feel ā€œrightā€ although my mom would never forbid it (in fact, sheā€™s the one that would try and make us switch around our seats, but the rest of us were territorial). ---
**Author:** ![Antigen](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/848f3c/32.png) [@Antigen](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Antigen)\ **Post date:** [October 28, 2010, 2:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/has-anyone-in-your-family-ever-had-their-own-chair-side-of-the-bed-place-on-the-couch/558608/33 "2010-10-28T14:44:55Z")
Are there people out there who do **not** have a side of the bed? Couples who randomly trade sides now and then and donā€™t feel funny about it? What about the nightstands full of your stuff? What about the right pillows? We have our sides of the bed. Itā€™s automatic. Even in hotel rooms we always end up the same way. If we try switching, it feels _so weird_ and we canā€™t take it. Weā€™re more flexible with the couch, though. I usually sit on the far side, but sometimes he does, and it doesnā€™t bug me. Given a choice, Iā€™ll choose ā€œmyā€ side, but if Iā€™m not given a choice Iā€™m not upset about it. ---
**Author:** ![slightly\_askew](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/d07c76/32.png) [@slightly\_askew](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/slightly_askew)\ **Post date:** [October 28, 2010, 2:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/has-anyone-in-your-family-ever-had-their-own-chair-side-of-the-bed-place-on-the-couch/558608/34 "2010-10-28T14:59:18Z")
In our house the cats think every piece of furniture is theirs. Iā€™m always having to move one of the little fuzzers to sit down. Of course they also think that we are furniture to be sat upon. ---
**Author:** ![purplehorseshoe](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/purplehorseshoe/32/2996_2.png) [@purplehorseshoe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/purplehorseshoe)\ **Post date:** [October 28, 2010, 3:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/has-anyone-in-your-family-ever-had-their-own-chair-side-of-the-bed-place-on-the-couch/558608/35 "2010-10-28T15:13:01Z")
The Other Shoe is a lefty at the dinnertable, so he always sits to my left because of the aforementioned elbow-jabbing. He also always sits to my left on the couch. The reverse feels very weird. Lying in bed facing the ceiling, he is always to my right. He likes to sleep on his right side facing the edge, and vice-versa for me, so this is how we sleep even when travelling. Our respective parents also have ā€œtheirā€ chairs, and so to this day I donā€™t sit in my momā€™s chair (or didnā€™t back when I was still vising) and he wonā€™t sit in his dadā€™s chair. (I will, though - itā€™s not sacred to _me!_ :D) ---
**Author:** ![Minnie\_Luna](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/4bbf92/32.png) [@Minnie\_Luna](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Minnie_Luna)\ **Post date:** [October 28, 2010, 3:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/has-anyone-in-your-family-ever-had-their-own-chair-side-of-the-bed-place-on-the-couch/558608/36 "2010-10-28T15:47:21Z")
We each have our own laptops and sides of the bed. We use the dining room three or four times a year, so we donā€™t have regular seats there. We eat in the family room in front of the TV, but we regularly switch spots between the couch and the chair with the ottoman. Growing up everyone had their regular spots at the dining room table, in the living room watching TV and even in the car. It is just the way it was. Grampa has his chair, although he did give it up briefly while Gramma was recovering from hip replacement. When we visit them, whatever seats we take at the first meal are our seats for the rest of the visit. Even when playing cards, so pick your seat well. No one wants to sit behind my sister or my gramma, they are the cut throat players and will sabotage their own hands to make you lose. ---
**Author:** ![brad\_d](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/50afbb/32.png) [@brad\_d](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/brad_d)\ **Post date:** [October 28, 2010, 3:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/has-anyone-in-your-family-ever-had-their-own-chair-side-of-the-bed-place-on-the-couch/558608/37 "2010-10-28T15:50:40Z")
Regarding sides of the bed, Iā€™m reminded of Patrick Warburtonā€™s character (Jeff) responding to Jen & Adamā€™s admission on the show _Rules of Engagement_: > [@](#): > > ā€œWe donā€™t have set sides of the bed.ā€ ā€“ Jen > ā€œWe sort of lie down wherever.ā€ ā€“ Adam > ā€œWhat are you, farm animals?ā€ ā€“ Jeff šŸ˜ƒ ---
**Author:** ![What\_Exit](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/what_exit/32/10652_2.png) [@What\_Exit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/What_Exit)\ **Post date:** [October 28, 2010, 3:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/has-anyone-in-your-family-ever-had-their-own-chair-side-of-the-bed-place-on-the-couch/558608/38 "2010-10-28T15:54:30Z")
Absolutely. My parents did and we do. I have a particular seat on the couch and I canā€™t imagine not having a side of the bed. I even have a spot at the dinner table. That seems the most old fashion to me. The others just seem normal. ---
**Author:** ![IvoryTowerDenizen](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ivorytowerdenizen/32/17937_2.png) [@IvoryTowerDenizen](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/IvoryTowerDenizen)\ **Post date:** [October 28, 2010, 4:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/has-anyone-in-your-family-ever-had-their-own-chair-side-of-the-bed-place-on-the-couch/558608/39 "2010-10-28T16:00:06Z")
I always take the side of the bed away from the door and closest to the window. Except when my husband travels for work, then I always sleep on his side of the bed. ---
**Author:** ![Markxxx](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/5daacb/32.png) [@Markxxx](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Markxxx)\ **Post date:** [October 28, 2010, 4:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/has-anyone-in-your-family-ever-had-their-own-chair-side-of-the-bed-place-on-the-couch/558608/40 "2010-10-28T16:14:08Z")
> [@Antigen](#): > > Are there people out there who do **not** have a side of the bed? Iā€™ve never been had a ā€œside of the bedā€ or favourite place to sit, or my own chair. I donā€™t really care where I sit or sleep or anything. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/has-anyone-in-your-family-ever-had-their-own-chair-side-of-the-bed-place-on-the-couch/558608.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/has-anyone-in-your-family-ever-had-their-own-chair-side-of-the-bed-place-on-the-couch/558608.md?page=3)