holding it ** for** ransom.
And Twisty, you officially get props for the steller combination of Simpsons and Fear and Loathing references. (By the way, I had a plan to become an Irish national, and it all feel through. Long Story.)
Did it involve marrying me?
Umm, I thought I saw you sister wearing the tank top, so I ripped it off her. Turns out she never heard of you.
Maybe the check could be for my bail?
This has got to be the worst Three Minute Mystery I’ve ever seen.
I sooo need to hang out around you more often.
Tripler
One simple vodka-tonic man.
The check was for a really great wedding present. They’re going to love it.
And if you banked at the same credit union I use, you would have a carbonless copy of the check.
Oh, and if you happen to find an OP than vanished out of General Questions, it’s mine…
I was walking down St. Marks Place, where people sell used books and other junk on the street. I saw your Red Tank Top lying on a blanket next to a broken toaster oven. Some guy was selling it, I had to buy it from him. He wanted 22 bucks but I talked him down to 17. I took it home, washed it off and put it on.
People tell me I look like a jerk in lace, but I don’t know. Even though sometimes it’s a pain in the ass, I like having a red, rayon, Gap tanktop.
I think I saw the tank top dancing with some hottie at Retronome.
I have the weirdest tanktop story. When we first moved to Boston, I had this tank top I adored…it was a purple strappy tank from Old Navy, gave me awesome cleavage. I know I wore it since I moved here…it just disappeared one day. I assumed it was lost in the shuffle, gave up. I had looked everywhere. Two years later, it showed up one night on the top of my shirt drawer. I had gone through those clothes at least 10 times since I lost it…it wasnt there before.
I still hold to my belief that my house is possessed by an evil spirit with a really bad sense of humor.
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No, Twisty, dear, though clever fellows with charming accents bearing are a dangerous temptation. My slightly evil plan involved my great-grandfathers (two of them) being Irish emigrants, which I thought qualified me for Irish citizenship. That means I could have moved to your fair land and gone to school for far less than I ever could have here. Unfortuantely, in order for me, a third generation, to get citizenship, my father would have had to become a citizen before I was born. Which he didn’t. I yelled at him for this gross over-sight, and he said “Hey. I had already been drafted by ONE country, the last thing I needed was to be drafted by another.” Bah. So it’s back to boring FAFSAs and single citizenship for me. Yet another plan for world domination squashed.
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The tricky thing about Long Island Iced Teas, Trip, is that sometimes they make you into something out of an E! Wild On Burlington special, and sometimes they just make you horridly drunk, and you end up whispering sweet nothings to your porcelain friend. Terribly unpredictable, those things.
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And JohnBckWLD, I suppose that’s what happens when one has a detachable tank top, huh?
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New theory: the check was an electric bill I paid. I have no evidence, except that I seem to feel that I paid that bill sometime recently. And I have electricity. Which is a good thing, because the only thing that is keeping me from melting into a puddle of Swiddle is the THREE fans I have going in my house right now.
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By the by, that bridesmaid dress I mentioned? It’s for my friend Rebecca’s wedding. She lives in Florida. Which means I have to buy a ticket to Florida. And it’s a medieval themed wedding. Which means that I had to shell out $135 for a dress I’ll NEVER wear again. So we’re probably talking upwards of $400 for the total cost of the wedding to me. I’m getting her a spoon or something. No $253.46 present.
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Eonwe, was I waving it at Fattie in a desperate attempt to get him to play Vogue? And was I writing a check for $253.46 at the time? Damned blackouts. (heh. Burlington humor. Seriously, though, that man will NOT play Vogue. EVER. Bastard. I even told him I had a little Vogue dance I’d do. You don’t hang out with as many gay men I as do and NOT learn to Vogue.)
Still no sight of my tank top. I’m thinking that those infernal Gap Ninjas are planning on waiting until this heat spell passes before returning the coolest article of clothing I own. Bastards.
John, have you seen my Detachable Penis?
Yeah, I’ve never been drinking, and then “gotten lost” in an outdoor classic rock concert with several thousand in attendance around me, unable to find my way out of the place only to try and exit through the ticketing entrance, getting upset enough to climb over one 8’ fence and go through a second, stumble through some woods, past a horse pasture, end up backstage somehow, and then finally run into my friends who were on their way to the concert at 7:30PM.
Nope, couldn’t happen to me. . . :rolleyes:
Tripler
And let’s not even discuss my poison ivy. :smack:
Sounds to me like you’ve got something to wear to Ren Faires!
Winnowill: Eh, Ren Faires aren’t my bag. I’ve been to two, (with the aforementioned Rebecca) so I can honestly say that I gave it a shot. Besides, if they were, it would ruin the concept of Swiddles as a Martyr to Friendship. No, this will just exhist as the most expensive Halloween costume in history.
Now, back to our coverage of Tank Top! 2002: The CGN (crack gap ninjas) have communicated:
So seven days from now, I may lounge about in cool comfort. Of course, in seven days, it will not be 96 degrees and so humid that a haze of heat exhists, but that’s just the way it goes.
MannyL, you wouldn’t happen to be a buddy of mine from New Jersey would you? I mean, how many guys can there be from New Jersey with detachable penises?
CJ
This m’dear, is where a little research could have done you the world of good, and thus allowed you to further admonish your father for his lack of foresight.
Ireland is a neutral country, and thus would not get involved in a war, and secondly, Ireland never had conscription.
Also, It might have been possible for him to avoid the first draft had he been Irish.
so there.
and as for Mr BuckWLD, regardless of wether you have a detachable penis ort not, Scorcese MAKES THE BEST FILMS.
Ah, yes, but he would have had dual citizenship, which means he would have gotten drafted over here, anyway. But thank you, I will take this new found information and scream at my dad some more.
Hey, I may not know about the political affliation of the Irish army, but I know something about the US. You know, the Indians lived all over this land. Before we came and killed them. That was very bad of us. That’s the way we are. We’re pigs.
(my apologies to anyone who is not familiar with the…eh…musical stylings of King Missle for the seemingly confusing nature of my post. No apologies to anyone who is familiar, yet still confused. Check out their first album.)
All I know is, Jesus was way cool.
I FUCKIN LOVE HIM. Instead of those idiotic Oscar statues, I think the academy should rip off one of his ears, kick in his teeth, chew his lips off, suck out his eyeball, chew it up and spit it in his face.