Has Child-rearing (and Childcare) Fundamentally Changed Over the Millenia

[even_sven]

@md2000

I wonder though, how much they did see adult interaction? They were obliged to spend the evenings at home? Meals?

The “lesson on being adult” quote I recall, was about teenagers in particular. In your description, this would be when the kids would be obliged to work, probably in tasks that brought them in constant contact with quite a few adults. The fellow contrasted this with North American teens still running in isolated packs, barely even getting interaction with adults during meals; they spent those years in basements palying video games with peers. The closest they came to adult interaction was a 1-on-30 classroom time with their teachers, where likely they got no interaction unless they stood out in a good or bad way.

In rural Cameroon, children typically ate separately from adults. Meals were served on large communal platters, and typically there was one for women, one for men, and one for kids. Often these groups would eat at different times. Cameroon might be a little unique in that it is a strong age hierarchy. Basically any adult can ask any random kid on the street to do any chore- from run to the store to cleaning their house- and the kid will do it. Kids understandably spent a lot of time making themselves scarce. Adolescents might get some more time with their parents (although maybe not- they may be sent to the market to sit and sell stuff or to the river to wash dishes). Both men and women would often be married in their mid to late teens.

In contrast, I remember spending a lot of one-on-one time with my family- meals, watching TV together, reading and playing when I was smaller, in the car running errands, visiting other relatives, etc. I had many, many opportunities to have one-on-one conversations with my immediate family and they were by far my most essential social circle.

in earlier times with more work and more kids, that kind of personal contact would be relatively rare. You’d see your adult relatives much like co-worker or teacher…you may banter with them while you work and even develop friendships, but you’d almost never be entirely focused on each other. There were a lot of people around and a lot to do.

That’s what I’m really getting at- focus. Today, parents are deeply focused on their kids. When you have say, three or fewer kids, the ins and outs of those kid’s lives become very important to you. You know are engaged in their schoolwork, hobbies, likes and dislikes, friendships, etc. In many ways, a modern parent’s life is about their kids. When you have 8-10 kids, however, your focus is more on the household level. The bond is a little less intensely focused.

[robert_columbia]

@apollonia

…

The other very high contribution to skewed mortality rates is death in childbirth. Childbirth is not a zero-risk effort even today, and the day of birth was the most hazardous day in life for both mother and baby. Given a lack of modern contraception and a need for large families, giving birth 6-8 times becomes not unreasonable and quite likely, making the rate of death in childbirth skyrocket.

But I digress!

If you read Victorian literature, you find that there was a preoccupation with orphans. While some of this may simply represent the fact that orphans was a literary meme at the time, that meme itself probably comes out of the fact that there were so many orphans in those days. Think about it - if you are the #3 child out of 6 children, your mom might have died with #6. Then if your dad died at work or something, you are an orphan. Nowadays, childbirth mortality is way down and that helps ensure that children have at least one living parent throughout childhood. Sure, there are still orphans, but it isn’t like we have overcrowded orphanages all over the place.

[Darth_Ayebaw]

@Hari_Seldon

Childhood has certainly changed even over my lifetime. When I was growing up in the 40s, my daily life included playing loads of street games (weather permitting). Curiously, the games we played on my street were totally different from those they played on my grandmother’s street two blocks away (I spent lots of time there too, especially in the summer). When I got home from school, I threw my schoolbag inside my house and went out to play until it got dark or I was called for dinner. The street games were dependent on the fact that few people owned cars and, during the day, they were not parked on the street as people used their single car to drive to work. Also cars coming through the street were rare. By about 1950, though, this was changing and both parked cars and moving cars were increasing. Also that was the year I went to HS and I guess I stopped playing street games then.

Maybe it’s a city/rural thing, but I grew up on the island of Maui in the 90s and it was still much like this. Also it was not an uncommon sight to see kids in kindergarten all the way up to walk to and from school.