# Has the board turned into a bigot magnet? **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [July 31, 2003, 6:15am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/has-the-board-turned-into-a-bigot-magnet/192076 "2003-07-31T06:15:20Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![Uncommon\_Sense](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/u/f9ae1b/32.png) [@Uncommon\_Sense](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Uncommon_Sense)\ **Post date:** [July 31, 2003, 3:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/has-the-board-turned-into-a-bigot-magnet/192076/21 "2003-07-31T15:45:30Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by elf6c \* > \*\*I guess “compassionate conservatism” only applies to straight white rich folks of the “correct” religion who are willing to make frequent donations to the GOP machine. > > :mad: \*\* Good point. These are also the same people that the Lefties hate. And I thought liberals were open to ALL lifestyles. ---
**Author:** ![iampunha](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/74df32/32.png) [@iampunha](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/iampunha)\ **Post date:** [July 31, 2003, 4:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/has-the-board-turned-into-a-bigot-magnet/192076/22 "2003-07-31T16:41:53Z")
**hilltopper** : “But what’s the purpose of starting these threads if not to debate and educate?” The thing is that the bigots who come aboard tend to be of the “my opinion is always right no matter what yards of evidence are put against it” flavor. And I’ve noticed many of the tendencies **Mockingbird** has. It’s one thing to say “no, you’re wrong and here’s why.” once. Or even each time to different people. It’s having to drag it out again and again and again and again and … do you get the point? So in short, it’s that our little bus of homophobes aren’t here to debate or educate or be educated. They’re here to spew. ---
**Author:** ![Mockingbird](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/c68b51/32.png) [@Mockingbird](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mockingbird)\ **Post date:** [July 31, 2003, 5:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/has-the-board-turned-into-a-bigot-magnet/192076/23 "2003-07-31T17:08:22Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by gobear \* > \*\*Yeah, and **Arcite** ’s posts explain why the word Dope is on there, too. \*\* Thank you for posting it before I could. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Mockingbird](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/c68b51/32.png) [@Mockingbird](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mockingbird)\ **Post date:** [July 31, 2003, 5:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/has-the-board-turned-into-a-bigot-magnet/192076/24 "2003-07-31T17:13:43Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Mangetout \* > \*\*Not wanting to spoil the thrust of a decent and worthy rant, but I think _Bigot Magnet_ would make a good band name. \*\* [Sally Field] You **like me** , you _ **really** _ **like me**! [/Sally Field] 😉 ---
**Author:** ![Mockingbird](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/c68b51/32.png) [@Mockingbird](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mockingbird)\ **Post date:** [July 31, 2003, 5:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/has-the-board-turned-into-a-bigot-magnet/192076/25 "2003-07-31T17:18:44Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Velma \* > \*\*I noticed it too. It does go in waves, but I think this one is due in part to all the media attention. Bush, the supreme court, and the pope are all talking about it so it’s on people’s minds. It probably irritates the people who don’t want to think about it at all, so they come here to bitch about it. > > At least here there’s people around to set a counter-example, but it is frustrating to see people bringing up tired arguments that have been debated here a thousand times already. After a while it gets pointless though, because I think most of them are not here to debate, they just want to spew. \*\* Just for that I’m not only setting you up on your dream date with Daphne, you _also_ get the TOASTER OVEN! 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Mockingbird](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/c68b51/32.png) [@Mockingbird](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mockingbird)\ **Post date:** [July 31, 2003, 5:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/has-the-board-turned-into-a-bigot-magnet/192076/26 "2003-07-31T17:33:45Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by hilltopper \* > \*\*Wait a fucking minute. > > I don’t see too many thread titles that say, “gays and lesbians should hide the closet,” or “All gays burn in HELL.” I do see quite a few threads that start “open letter to homophobes I’ve known,” and “ask the gay guy” and “ask the lesbian.” > > Bigots (or attention seeking fake bigots) do see these as big targets to throw out some hate-laced language and watch the fireworks. These threads are like an invitation to those who have a few choice phrases to post whether they believe them or not. Hey if you build it they will come. > > But what’s the purpose of starting these threads if not to debate and educate? I find reading these to be quite educational. Granted there will be your standard idiots who throw garbage out there, but they should be ignored. By responding they are only encouraged. > > Also in the OP you refer to a “bigot posse.” I am a newbie. I have taken a contrary position in one (now 2) homosexuality themed threads. I recently made the mistake of using the word “lifestyle” while making a point in a post. Suddenly I was a homophobe :eek: and the rest of my post was discredited. :mad: It turned into a debate about semantics and got a little nasty toward the end. Does that make me one of these: FROM OP\*\*”I have had the perception that more and more new posters were registering and posting mostly in the threads about homosexuality. Posting to the negative, and in the pit especially, delighting it seems in being as hateful as they can be.”\*\*\*\* > > If so I call bullshit. \*\* From [http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?threadid=199876](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?threadid=199876) > [@](#): > > It seems “homophobe” has become the catchall word for people that don’t understand or agree with gays/the gay lifestyle. And again, yes we do have lifestyle. > [@](#): > > Call me a homophobe because I don’t want a massage from a man if you want. > > But to call me a homophobe because I reference a “gay lifestyle.” to make a point is just wrong. Lets say there is no “gay lifestyle” and (for the sake of agrument) I thought there was one, does that make me a homophobe. Nowhere in your definition of homophobe does it mention ignorance. By the way if Webster says …aversion to…homosexuality is homophobia, doesn’t that include all straights? > > By Narrad: "the Merriam-Webster defines “homophobia” as the “irrational fear of, aversion to, discrimination against homosexuality or homosexuals.” " We have seen the “call me a homophobe if you want” quite often as of late. You are the one on the other hand who was dragging in semantics. When you start the semantic battle, you don’t get to blame others for it. You’ve been registered since February of this year. With your low post count, I would think you’ve been lurking and would have seen in the many, many threads of this nature what might be a hot button term. You got your hand slapped, not a smackdown. I call bullshit, but in a really bored way because I’m filing my nails and they’re more interesting. ---
**Author:** ![hilltopper](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/c68b51/32.png) [@hilltopper](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/hilltopper)\ **Post date:** [July 31, 2003, 6:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/has-the-board-turned-into-a-bigot-magnet/192076/27 "2003-07-31T18:18:27Z")
Wait…Lifestyle or no lifestyle…now I’m really confused So are your calling ME a bigot or not? Do you really want to re-argue my position from the other thread? Why don’t you just go back there and re-read ALL my posts in that thread. Registered since Feb but activley viewing/posting only for the last couple of months. Call me a lurker if you want…🙂 _yawn_ If you’re that bored quit bumping your own thread. ---
**Author:** ![iampunha](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/74df32/32.png) [@iampunha](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/iampunha)\ **Post date:** [July 31, 2003, 6:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/has-the-board-turned-into-a-bigot-magnet/192076/28 "2003-07-31T18:51:46Z")
He isn’t bumping, he’s _posting_. If you are unable to see the difference maybe you should lurk more and post less:p “gay lifestyle” is a phrase used almost exclusively by those who are unclear on some basic concept of homosexuality. Rather than turning this into a train wreck, perhaps the best thing to do would be to tell us what you believe to be true of gay people so that those of us who are more thoroughly versed in the facts can let you know what is right and what is incorrect:) ---
**Author:** ![dalovindj](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/65b543/32.png) [@dalovindj](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dalovindj)\ **Post date:** [July 31, 2003, 6:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/has-the-board-turned-into-a-bigot-magnet/192076/29 "2003-07-31T18:54:42Z")
> [@](#): > > When lifestyle became popular a generation ago, a number of critics objected to it as voguish and superficial, perhaps because it appeared to elevate habits of consumption, dress, and recreation to categories in a system of social classification. Nonetheless, the word has proved durable and useful, if only because such categories do in fact figure importantly in the schemes that Americans commonly invoke when explaining social values and behavior, as in Rachel Brownstein’s remark that “an anticonventional lifestyle is no sure sign of feminist politics, or indeed, of any politics at all.” Fifty-three percent of the Usage Panel accepts the word in _Bohemian attitudes toward conventional society have been outstripped and outdated by the lifestyles of millions of young people._ An even greater number -fully 70 percent- accepts the word in _Salaries in the Bay Area may be higher, but it may cost employees as much as 30 percent more to maintain their lifestyles_, where the context requires a term that implies categorization based on habits of consumption. The above is from a [www.dictionary.com](http://www.dictionary.com) usage note provided with the definition of the word lifestyle. It seems to me that it is possible to refer to gay lifestyle(s) without implying that all gay people are the same. The term as a general descriptor of what a group of people may have in common much of the time seems to be fine usage to me. Gay people have lifestyles, and it is possible to refer to them as such (i.e. “New laws may affect gay lifestyles considerably.”) without suggesting all gay people live the same. The lack of an “s” (as in “The gay lifestyle will be adversely affected by the new legislation.”) could seem a little more pigeon-hole-ish, but I still see it as valid usage that implies simply that the lifestyle of a gay person is likely to be affected even though all people live life in different ways. If someone was to try to say that all gay people are the same, then you’ve got a foul, but simply using the words gay lifestyle does not mean this person thinks the whole group is the same. No foul if the intent is proper. The usage works as far as I can tell. Point out that not all gay people are the same if you feel the need, but my guess is most people know this blatantly obvious fact. Even the bigots. And one more thing: The smoking population of New York has had to deal with a considerable lifestyle change as a result of the new smoking laws. DaLovin’ Dj ---
**Author:** ![iampunha](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/74df32/32.png) [@iampunha](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/iampunha)\ **Post date:** [July 31, 2003, 7:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/has-the-board-turned-into-a-bigot-magnet/192076/30 "2003-07-31T19:02:41Z")
I dunno, **dj** , to me someone saying “the gay lifestyle” means one of a few things: 1. All gay people do X thing the same 2. This is how gay people do/are supposed to act 3. There is something about them being gay that dictates universal behavior > [@](#): > > The lack of an “s” (as in “The gay lifestyle will be adversely affected by the new legislation.”) could seem a little more pigeon-hole-ish, but I still see it as valid usage that implies simply that the lifestyle of a gay person is likely to be affected even though all people live life in different ways. Here’s the thing, though: it _does_ pigeonhole. it says, or implies, or whatever verb you care to use, that all gay people live the same way. Further, those who use it rarely have any valid sense of what it means to be gay. “The lifestyle of a gay person” depends on the gay person, so to say “the gay lifestyle” implies/states/hints/whatever that they’re all the same in some regard. ---
**Author:** ![Mockingbird](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/c68b51/32.png) [@Mockingbird](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mockingbird)\ **Post date:** [July 31, 2003, 7:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/has-the-board-turned-into-a-bigot-magnet/192076/31 "2003-07-31T19:09:10Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by hilltopper \* > \*\*Wait…Lifestyle or no lifestyle…now I’m really confused > > So are your calling ME a bigot or not? > > Do you really want to re-argue my position from the other thread? Why don’t you just go back there and re-read ALL my posts in that thread. > > Registered since Feb but activley viewing/posting only for the last couple of months. Call me a lurker if you want…🙂 > > _yawn_ > > If you’re that bored quit bumping your own thread. \*\* If you are that much of a bored idiot who seems very set to take offense but deny responsibility, feel free to leave the thread. ---
**Author:** ![Mockingbird](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/c68b51/32.png) [@Mockingbird](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mockingbird)\ **Post date:** [July 31, 2003, 7:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/has-the-board-turned-into-a-bigot-magnet/192076/32 "2003-07-31T19:13:39Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by dalovindj \* > \*\*The above is from a [www.dictionary.com](http://www.dictionary.com) usage note provided with the definition of the word lifestyle. It seems to me that it is possible to refer to gay lifestyle(s) without implying that all gay people are the same. The term as a general descriptor of what a group of people may have in common much of the time seems to be fine usage to me. Gay people have lifestyles, and it is possible to refer to them as such (i.e. “New laws may affect gay lifestyles considerably.”) without suggesting all gay people live the same. The lack of an “s” (as in “The gay lifestyle will be adversely affected by the new legislation.”) could seem a little more pigeon-hole-ish, but I still see it as valid usage that implies simply that the lifestyle of a gay person is likely to be affected even though all people live life in different ways. > > If someone was to try to say that all gay people are the same, then you’ve got a foul, but simply using the words gay lifestyle does not mean this person thinks the whole group is the same. No foul if the intent is proper. The usage works as far as I can tell. Point out that not all gay people are the same if you feel the need, but my guess is most people know this blatantly obvious fact. Even the bigots. > > And one more thing: The smoking population of New York has had to deal with a considerable lifestyle change as a result of the new smoking laws. > > DaLovin’ Dj \*\* Why don’t we see articles about the “heterosexual lifestyle”? Or… since we see lots of lovely colloquialisms, why not a reverse of the Phelps type of site with [godhatesbreeders.com](http://godhatesbreeders.com) with the “heterosexual agenda” which also would use terms like “heterosexual lifestyle”? _sigh_ ---
**Author:** ![Velma](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/85e7bf/32.png) [@Velma](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Velma)\ **Post date:** [July 31, 2003, 7:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/has-the-board-turned-into-a-bigot-magnet/192076/33 "2003-07-31T19:18:17Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Mockingbird \* > \*\*Just for that I’m not only setting you up on your dream date with Daphne, you _also_ get the TOASTER OVEN! > > 😃 \*\* _I finally got the toaster oven!_ I love Daphne, but I prefer Roxy.😉 ---
**Author:** ![dalovindj](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/65b543/32.png) [@dalovindj](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dalovindj)\ **Post date:** [July 31, 2003, 7:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/has-the-board-turned-into-a-bigot-magnet/192076/34 "2003-07-31T19:21:22Z")
The gay lifestyle is wide and varying, encompassing people from all walks of life, with all manners of hobbies, and with all manners of views and opinions. The above sentence would be proper usage as far as I can tell. > [@](#): > > “The lifestyle of a gay person” depends on the gay person, so to say “the gay lifestyle” implies/states/hints/whatever that **they’re all the same in some regard.** They all ARE the same in some regard: They are gay. It doesn’t imply that they are clones living identical lives in a cultish fashion. It simply groups them with a common characteristic. To say that all people who are gay have a gay lifestyle does not mean that all of those lifestyles are the same, only that they all possess the quality of a gay perspective. Now, the phrase “The gay agenda” implies a uniformity amongst gay peoples motives (legit beef here - that was one stupid comment on the part of the dissenting members of the SC recently) but “The gay lifestyle” need not imply uniformity among said group other than that they are all gay. It could be used that way, but I think attacking someone for using it by default looks pretty excessive. Even foolish bigots will tend to realize that everyone is different in my experience. It’s just that they hate certain differences. It is the rare cat who would imply that any group of people will be identicle in every way. > [@](#): > > Why don’t we see articles about the “heterosexual lifestyle”? I don’t know about “we”, but “I” see those articles every time I read Maxim, Stuff, and all the other similar magazines targeted at straight men. Love 'em too. Gotten some good tips from time to time . . . DaLovin’ Dj ---
**Author:** ![Mockingbird](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/c68b51/32.png) [@Mockingbird](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mockingbird)\ **Post date:** [July 31, 2003, 7:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/has-the-board-turned-into-a-bigot-magnet/192076/35 "2003-07-31T19:33:59Z")
And they use the term heterosexual lifestyle, dalovindj. ---
**Author:** ![gobear](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/8dc957/32.png) [@gobear](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/gobear)\ **Post date:** [July 31, 2003, 7:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/has-the-board-turned-into-a-bigot-magnet/192076/36 "2003-07-31T19:37:17Z")
> [@](#): > > The gay lifestyle is wide and varying, encompassing people from all walks of life, with all manners of hobbies, and with all manners of views and opinions. OIn other words, it’s so broad as to have no meaning. Compare **Mockingbird** and me; he’s a pagan, leftist MS sufferer, while I’m an atheist, conservative weightlifter. The only thing we have in common is our attraction to men. Ditto for me and any other gay guy. The “lifestyle” thing is nothing other than an attempt to cram all gay people ionto one narrow category so that anitgay activists can point and say “All gay people are alike”. Well, I say they can cram it with walnuts. “Gay lifestyle” is as formless and contentless as “hetero lifestyle.” ---
**Author:** ![iampunha](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/74df32/32.png) [@iampunha](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/iampunha)\ **Post date:** [July 31, 2003, 7:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/has-the-board-turned-into-a-bigot-magnet/192076/37 "2003-07-31T19:41:53Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by dalovindj \* > The above sentence would be proper usage as far as I can tell. They all ARE the same in some regard: They are gay. Right, then. In your opinion, what makes a lifestyle homosexual? What ONE THING do all gay people do specifically because of their sexuality? > [@](#): > > It simply groups them with a common characteristic. Then the adjective is being used in an improper way and it should be said “the lifestyle of gay people”. Which STILL says they’re all doing something (or even more than one thing) specifically because they’re gay. > [@](#): > > To say that all people who are gay have a gay lifestyle does not mean that all of those lifestyles are the same, only that they all possess the quality of a gay perspective. What is the quality of a gay persective, and how can you be sure that, say, **Captain Amazing** , **gobear** , **Freyr** and **Tiburon** all have it? > [@](#): > > Now, the phrase “The gay agenda” implies a uniformity amongst gay peoples motives (legit beef here - that was one stupid comment on the part of the dissenting members of the SC recently) but “The gay lifestyle” need not imply uniformity among said group other than that they are all gay. IMO, both are used in a manner that is often intentionally marginalizing, demeaning and used for the purpose of rendering those things less legitimate. Not _always_, but often. > [@](#): > > It is the rare cat who would imply that any group of people will be identicle in every way. This board must be a fucking haven for that endangered species _felinis homophobis ignoramis_😃 > [@](#): > > I don’t know about “we”, but “I” see those articles every time I read Maxim, Stuff, and all the other similar magazines targeted at straight men. Love 'em too. Gotten some good tips from time to time . . . Right, then, can you cite “heterosexual lifestyle” as a phrase used in any of those magazines?🙂 ---
**Author:** ![hilltopper](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/c68b51/32.png) [@hilltopper](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/hilltopper)\ **Post date:** [July 31, 2003, 7:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/has-the-board-turned-into-a-bigot-magnet/192076/38 "2003-07-31T19:43:42Z")
_deep breath_ OK, I apologize for the reactionary belligerence. I take responsibility for the semantic debate. BUT - I see the words bigot and homophobe being used loosely and IMHO inappropriately. I take exception to that. I find that offensive. ---
**Author:** ![dalovindj](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/65b543/32.png) [@dalovindj](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dalovindj)\ **Post date:** [July 31, 2003, 7:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/has-the-board-turned-into-a-bigot-magnet/192076/39 "2003-07-31T19:55:28Z")
The Mags tend to use the phrase “Men’s Lifestyle”. Not all men have the same lifestyle but if you google “Men’s Lifestyle” you will come up with a bunch of magazines/websites directed at straight men. It would be just as foolish to assume that these magazines assume that all men are exactly identical in thought, action, and habits. Here is one [cite](http://www.writenews.com/2002/102502_ramp_magazine.htm), but the net has MANY more. “Male Lifestyle” tends to assume straight males. Plus everyone knows all straight men are turned off by words with as many letters as “heterosexual”. > [@](#): > > If the English language made any sense, a catastrophe would be an apostrophe with fur. > ~ **Doug Larson** DaLovin’ Dj ---
**Author:** ![Zenster](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/cdc98d/32.png) [@Zenster](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Zenster)\ **Post date:** [July 31, 2003, 8:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/has-the-board-turned-into-a-bigot-magnet/192076/40 "2003-07-31T20:15:56Z")
Everyone has a lifestyle. That said, trying to pigeonhole a person into a specific way of life is pretty damn moronic whether they’re gay, straight or purple with pink polka-dots. An unwillingness to accept individuality is the hallmark of small-mindedness. I’m also thinking that the perceived upswing in homophobia may be due to tripling of the population here in the last year or so. There _will_ be a statistical percentage of mouth breathers in any given crowd. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/has-the-board-turned-into-a-bigot-magnet/192076.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/has-the-board-turned-into-a-bigot-magnet/192076.md?page=3)