# Has your life improved on a whole since childhood? **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [November 29, 2011, 4:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/has-your-life-improved-on-a-whole-since-childhood/604464 "2011-11-29T16:41:49Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![overlyverbose](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/9dc877/32.png) [@overlyverbose](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/overlyverbose)\ **Post date:** [November 30, 2011, 5:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/has-your-life-improved-on-a-whole-since-childhood/604464/41 "2011-11-30T17:34:17Z")
My early childhood was very free, but most of that was because my mom was a beast and wanted as little to do with us as possible. When she did want us around, it was to cry on our shoulders. But I guess she did manage to raise us without hitting us much. Anyway, yes, my adulthood is better than my childhood, though I really noticed the different starting in college when I wasn’t at home anymore. But my adulthood is separated into stages, too: college (not really adulthood, but not living at home), post-college, married without kids and married with kids. College was golden. I had to work a lot and was exhausted most of the time, but I had a fabulous time. Post-college was even better because I had even more of my own money from working, though I was putting myself through grad school with three jobs, which wasn’t easy. Married without children was wonderful, too, though both more challenging and more satisfying because I had to care about what someone else wanted. Married with children has in some ways lowered my qualify of life (less free time, less sleep, more people to worry about, more agitation due to crabby kids, less disposable income), but at the same it’s even more rewarding because it’s more challenging and somehow we make it. There are lots more things that could improve with my life now, but strangely, I’ve turned into more of an optimist than I was before I had kids, so I’m able to look at them as opportunities for change more than I was before. Part of me hates being a Pollyanna, but it works for me. ---
**Author:** ![rhubarbarin](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/eb9ed0/32.png) [@rhubarbarin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/rhubarbarin)\ **Post date:** [November 30, 2011, 8:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/has-your-life-improved-on-a-whole-since-childhood/604464/42 "2011-11-30T20:52:48Z")
Oh god it’s so much better to be an adult. My childhood was miserable for as long as I can remember. Puberty brought a whole new level of pain. I had no hope of ever being happy until I dropped out of school and left my parent’s house… really, no matter what happens to me in the future, I don’t think I will ever be as trapped and unhappy again, as I was as a kid/teenager. ---
**Author:** ![MeanOldLady](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/meanoldlady/32/10737_2.png) [@MeanOldLady](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MeanOldLady)\ **Post date:** [November 30, 2011, 10:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/has-your-life-improved-on-a-whole-since-childhood/604464/43 "2011-11-30T22:06:36Z")
> [@heathen\_earthling](#): > > I just find your enthusiasm for adulthood kind of shocking because it is so different from my perspective on life, but I kind of envy your ability to feel that way. Gwuh? I suppose different people see things differently, but I don’t get how being an adult isn’t awesomer than being a child. The main difference is as a kid you were trapped by school during the day and by parents every other time, and as an adult you’re trapped only by work. Oh, work sucks so very badly, but they give you money that you can spend freely on cool shit, and after that what you eat/drink/fuck/do/say is up to you. I dig it. Of course the threats I made to my mom when I was a child to eat ice cream everyday have gone (mostly) unrealized, but I still say it’s a good deal. ---
**Author:** ![heathen\_earthling](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/13edae/32.png) [@heathen\_earthling](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/heathen_earthling)\ **Post date:** [December 1, 2011, 12:23am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/has-your-life-improved-on-a-whole-since-childhood/604464/44 "2011-12-01T00:23:41Z")
> [@MeanOldLady](#): > > Gwuh? I suppose different people see things differently, but I don’t get how being an adult isn’t awesomer than being a child. The main difference is as a kid you were trapped by school during the day and by parents every other time, and as an adult you’re trapped only by work. Oh, work sucks so very badly, but they give you money that you can spend freely on cool shit, and after that what you eat/drink/fuck/do/say is up to you. I dig it. Of course the threats I made to my mom when I was a child to eat ice cream everyday have gone (mostly) unrealized, but I still say it’s a good deal. The upside of childhood education is that while it does suck, everyone is basically guaranteed access to it. You’re expected to go to school, and you can. No worries. Whereas being an adult, you’re expected to get a job… and what, they also expect you to put effort into _finding one_? And actually _compete_ with other people for the opportunity to be trapped there? That’s bullshit! ---
**Author:** ![Enola\_Gay](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/3ab097/32.png) [@Enola\_Gay](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Enola_Gay)\ **Post date:** [December 1, 2011, 12:38am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/has-your-life-improved-on-a-whole-since-childhood/604464/45 "2011-12-01T00:38:10Z")
> [@heathen\_earthling](#): > > The upside of childhood education is that while it does suck, everyone is basically guaranteed access to it. You’re expected to go to school, and you can. No worries. Whereas being an adult, you’re expected to get a job… and what, they also expect you to put effort into _finding one_? And actually _compete_ with other people for the opportunity to be trapped there? That’s bullshit! I’m with **MeanOldLady** on this one. My parents were terrific and no one ever molested or abused me. But imo the responsibility and freedom that go with adulthood totally trump the lack of control of childhood. ---
**Author:** ![OpalCat](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/8edcca/32.png) [@OpalCat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/OpalCat)\ **Post date:** [December 1, 2011, 12:59am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/has-your-life-improved-on-a-whole-since-childhood/604464/46 "2011-12-01T00:59:14Z")
> [@heathen\_earthling](#): > > The upside of childhood education is that while it does suck, everyone is basically guaranteed access to it. You’re expected to go to school, and you can. No worries. Whereas being an adult, you’re expected to get a job… and what, they also expect you to put effort into _finding one_? And actually _compete_ with other people for the opportunity to be trapped there? That’s bullshit! I’ll take fighting for a job and economic insecurity any day over being the only child of an emotional unavailable single parent, when both of us had severe psychiatric issues that were being untreated, etc. I’m sometimes surprised I survived my childhood–especially high school. ---
**Author:** ![Foggy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/foggy/32/1082_2.png) [@Foggy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Foggy)\ **Post date:** [December 1, 2011, 1:04am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/has-your-life-improved-on-a-whole-since-childhood/604464/47 "2011-12-01T01:04:54Z")
No and my childhood wasn’t all that great to begin with. My life has been mostly miserable, yes there were good times, but they are out weighed and overshadowed by the bad, hard, and painful times. ---
**Author:** ![hogarth](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/hogarth/32/1773_2.png) [@hogarth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/hogarth)\ **Post date:** [December 1, 2011, 2:18am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/has-your-life-improved-on-a-whole-since-childhood/604464/48 "2011-12-01T02:18:02Z")
> [@Enola\_Gay](#): > > But imo the responsibility and freedom that go with adulthood totally trump the lack of control of childhood. Freedom I understand. But you like responsibility? Cause I’ve got a great big pile of responsibility I can give you, at no cost! ---
**Author:** ![Ashes\_Ashes](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/db5fbb/32.png) [@Ashes\_Ashes](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ashes_Ashes)\ **Post date:** [December 1, 2011, 3:13am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/has-your-life-improved-on-a-whole-since-childhood/604464/49 "2011-12-01T03:13:35Z")
I’ve had social anxiety disorder and depression probably since birth. There are areas of my life that are good but on a whole being me sucks. The only improvement being an adult has given me is that I now know there’s good _and_ bad. As a kid, life seemed to promise an inevitable slide to hell. Perspective, hope, and proper medication are good things. ---
**Author:** ![AHunter3](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ahunter3/32/368_2.png) [@AHunter3](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AHunter3)\ **Post date:** [December 1, 2011, 6:04am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/has-your-life-improved-on-a-whole-since-childhood/604464/50 "2011-12-01T06:04:53Z")
Every decade has been an improvement over the previous except possibly my 40s which at best were only a mild upswing from my 30s. The overall trajectory is undeniable. ---
**Author:** ![Electric\_Warrior](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/ee7513/32.png) [@Electric\_Warrior](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Electric_Warrior)\ **Post date:** [December 1, 2011, 2:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/has-your-life-improved-on-a-whole-since-childhood/604464/51 "2011-12-01T14:08:23Z")
> [@Enola\_Gay](#): > > I’m with **MeanOldLady** on this one. My parents were terrific and no one ever molested or abused me. But imo the responsibility and freedom that go with adulthood totally trump the lack of control of childhood. Yep, that’s the perspective from which I (the OP) was coming to this thread. I’m glad to see that most people agree with me, not just because I like being agreed with, but because it means life isn’t a pointless exercise for most of the people who answered my poll. I think Herr Schopenhauer has some explaining to do. ---
**Author:** ![MeanOldLady](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/meanoldlady/32/10737_2.png) [@MeanOldLady](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MeanOldLady)\ **Post date:** [December 1, 2011, 2:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/has-your-life-improved-on-a-whole-since-childhood/604464/52 "2011-12-01T14:14:09Z")
> [@hogarth](#): > > Freedom I understand. But you like responsibility? Cause I’ve got a great big pile of responsibility I can give you, at no cost! Well no, responsibility isn’t fun, but it comes with freedom and is a fair trade off. ---
**Author:** ![Enola\_Gay](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/3ab097/32.png) [@Enola\_Gay](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Enola_Gay)\ **Post date:** [December 1, 2011, 3:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/has-your-life-improved-on-a-whole-since-childhood/604464/53 "2011-12-01T15:49:14Z")
> [@MeanOldLady](#): > > Well no, responsibility isn’t fun, but it comes with freedom and is a fair trade off. Beat me to it. Responsibility is the price you pay in exchange for the freedom. They go hand in hand. But as much as a pain in the ass as responsibility can be, I’ll take it (along with freedom) over powerlessness any day. ---
**Author:** ![Spice\_Weasel](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/spice_weasel/32/5435_2.png) [@Spice\_Weasel](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Spice_Weasel)\ **Post date:** [December 1, 2011, 7:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/has-your-life-improved-on-a-whole-since-childhood/604464/54 "2011-12-01T19:02:07Z")
My childhood utterly sucked. But the worst year of my life was the year I legally emancipated. It’s hard to say whether I was really an adult as an emancipated minor. I had the responsibilities of an adult but a lot of healing and growing up to do. And I think the immediate aftermath of my childhood was worse than my actual childhood. Now things are pretty cool. I have a lot of freedom, I’ve had amazing travel experiences, a good education, a decent standard of living, and thanks to my husband an awesome marriage. The reason we are together is because he saw me speaking openly about my own mental illness as a student mental health advocate. It’s arguable that my childhood trauma brought us together. If those are the wages I had to pay to have the life I’ve got now, I’ll take the deal. ---
**Author:** ![Chefguy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/chefguy/32/138_2.png) [@Chefguy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chefguy)\ **Post date:** [December 1, 2011, 7:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/has-your-life-improved-on-a-whole-since-childhood/604464/55 "2011-12-01T19:08:01Z")
Childhood was not difficult nor bad. But I can eat all the cookies I want now, so that’s a big improvement. ---
**Author:** ![carlotta](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/898d66/32.png) [@carlotta](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/carlotta)\ **Post date:** [December 1, 2011, 10:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/has-your-life-improved-on-a-whole-since-childhood/604464/56 "2011-12-01T22:59:35Z")
I think some people just aren’t suited to being children. I had great parents (still do!), lots of freedom, tree to climb, pools to swim in, libraries to get an endless amount of books from but I like being an adult much more. For one thing nobody decides what I’m going to eat! My parents (who are great! like I said!) were very restrictive about nutrition. To this day I get a little nutty if I’m confined with other people making my dining choices for too long (like being a houseguest). Also, as a child I was afraid a lot of the time, of dumb stuff, like the dark and witches. Now I hardly ever feel afraid. And oh joy oh joy I never never have to go to school again! I did great in school, but oh my how I hated it. P.S. The internet didn’t exist when I was a child, so that is an enormous plus of my adulthood too. ---
**Author:** ![panache45](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/panache45/32/64_2.png) [@panache45](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/panache45)\ **Post date:** [December 2, 2011, 6:06am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/has-your-life-improved-on-a-whole-since-childhood/604464/57 "2011-12-02T06:06:17Z")
Yes. There’s no longer a monster (father) in the house, to beat the crap out of me, and verbally and emotionally abuse the entire family. ---
**Author:** ![LavenderBlue](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/e95f7d/32.png) [@LavenderBlue](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/LavenderBlue)\ **Post date:** [December 2, 2011, 4:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/has-your-life-improved-on-a-whole-since-childhood/604464/58 "2011-12-02T16:09:09Z")
> [@Sam\_I\_Am](#): > > Yes. As an adult I have a fantastic husband, and two wonderful girls. I have work that I love, and time for art. > > As a child I had abusive parents. Me too. I even have a freelance career that allows me to work with flexible hours and without the need for a commute. I wish the baby would start sleeping through the night more cconsistently but that’s about it. Living with loving people by choice sure beats being forced to live with mean people. ---
**Author:** ![XT](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/xt/32/456_2.png) [@XT](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/XT)\ **Post date:** [December 2, 2011, 4:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/has-your-life-improved-on-a-whole-since-childhood/604464/59 "2011-12-02T16:18:19Z")
Materially there is no real question…we were dirt poor when I was a kid, and even when I was a teen ager we were poor. And as far as improvement, it’s hard to believe how far my family and I have come since I was a kid, and how much life has improved. -XT ---
**Author:** ![rhubarbarin](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/eb9ed0/32.png) [@rhubarbarin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/rhubarbarin)\ **Post date:** [December 2, 2011, 8:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/has-your-life-improved-on-a-whole-since-childhood/604464/60 "2011-12-02T20:13:28Z")
> [@heathen\_earthling](#): > > The upside of childhood education is that while it does suck, everyone is basically guaranteed access to it. You’re expected to go to school, and you can. No worries. Whereas being an adult, you’re expected to get a job… and what, they also expect you to put effort into _finding one_? And actually _compete_ with other people for the opportunity to be trapped there? That’s bullshit! The great thing about jobs is that you can quit them. Primary school is more like prison. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/has-your-life-improved-on-a-whole-since-childhood/604464.md?page=2) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/has-your-life-improved-on-a-whole-since-childhood/604464.md?page=4)