While I do have some fond memories of childhood, having a thoroughly shitty mother pretty much overshadows them. Now, I’m free and finally happy.
Come on now.
I work a 9-5 like everyone else and still routinely stay up past my bed time because I can. And of course I don’t spend all of my money on candy and booze, but a shameful amount of my spare cash goes to that, which I can do now since it’s flippin’ mine and I can use my spending money as kindling if I wanted. And no, I can’t have sex with anyone I want (Oh, Ira Glass, you’ll see the light some day!), but I can within reason. Parents like to cock block big time.
Childhood was great. I didn’t have responsibilities and got to watch TV all day. Growing up sucks
Truer words were never spoken. Someone should sew this on a pillow.
That’s cool that having to go to a job most days doesn’t get in the way of you doing whatever you please. I don’t work, and of course sleep at rather irregular hours, but I wouldn’t say I can do whatever I please because there are lots of things I can’t afford to do.
(If you routinely stay up past it, what makes it your bed time?)
Are you kidding, or do you really think (that I think) anyone anywhere regardless of employment status can do *whatever *they want? This is in comparison to your childhood, when you had to ask mommy and daddy for permission every time you wanted to go to your friend’s party. I don’t have to ask anyone if I’m allowed to go out now, I just do it.
My bed time is whenever I say it is. It should be maybe 11:00 if I were responsible, but meh, I’ll stay up late if I feel like it. No one gets all whiny if I just leave my apartment at any given time and don’t come back until the middle of the night or the next day. I enjoy the freedom I have as an adult that I didn’t have during my childhood. No, it’s not absolute freedom; no one’s is, and that was never the point. Please tell me you are intentionally being an ass and honestly don’t have trouble understanding this.
Nah, I don’t think you think you believe that, and neither do I. Sorry if I annoyed you. I just find your enthusiasm for adulthood kind of shocking because it is so different from my perspective on life, but I kind of envy your ability to feel that way.
I can’t imagine ever being told I couldn’t go to a friend’s party as a kid or a teen, but it wasn’t really an issue because I didn’t socialize much with friends outside of school anyway. I think whenever I did go to a party, my mom was happy for me getting out and doing something normal for a night. And my parents never cockblocked me either, because I was totally clueless about how to attract a mate with or without them around. Which I guess is a point in favour of being an adult after all.
Oh god yes, no question. I was an only child raised by a single parent who was selfish, neglectful, and emotionally abusive. I wasn’t allowed to have friends, to go to other people’s houses, to have people over, or to do anything fun. For most of my childhood I wasn’t even allowed to be in the living room of our own house. My first instinct daily upon hearing my mom’s car pull up in the carport was to HIDE. And so I did. I’d hide until she was safely in her room, from where she would rarely emerge until the next day.
My childhood was spent crying, hiding, being picked on in school (liberal kid, forced to go to a very conservative religious school), and walking on eggshells lest I upset my chronically depressed mother.
I hated my childhood. Every minute of it. It was misery–sheer misery. You couldn’t pay me enough to go back.
Now as an adult I’m properly medicated for my bipolar disorder which helps immensely, and I live with people who love me and who I love. My mother, on the other hand, to this day (I’m 39) has never told me that she loved me.
I have friends now both in real life and online, who I spend time with and enjoy–none of that was allowed when I was a child.
No question. It’s ridiculous to even pose the question. My life has improved massively since my childhood. I’m actually somewhat surprised I survived my childhood, considering how suicidal I was through so much of it.
Your mom sucks, Opal, and you deserved way better than that hugs
For me adulthood has been better than childhood. I didn’t have a truly horrific childhood like some on these boards but it was no picnic, either.
Yes, for sure. Downside: I have to buy my own food, lodging and my meager transportation (bum rides from bandmates for gas money, take cabs when that won’t work, and usually take the bus). UpsideS (plural): Within reason, I can do what I want, when I want. I’m also smarter, better at doing lots of things, have been enriched by meeting and occasionally befriending fantastic people, or at least justly famous ones, similarly, living in places my younger self didn’t even really know existed, experienced more art of the highest quality first hand, had my fair share of “romances” (however short-lived some were ;)). I know how people are, how to size up just about anyone and start a bullshitting session with just about anyone who isn’t a crazed meth-head just for fun.
Life is a lot harder, but it’s better, and I know how to make it easier on myself financially if I chose to.
I also, for an impoverished musician living on way less than minimum wage for way less than full-time equivalent McJob, I still own quite a few cool things – music, my library, musical instruments, clothes, a kitchen full of equipment I like to use and food I like to eat – and know how to make to my satisfaction.
I don’t think I had an idyllic childhood, but it wasn’t hell either. I can look back at specific events with nostalgia. There were some cringe-worthy times, but not all the times were bad.
But I prefer my life as an adult over my life as a kid. Being forced to do stuff against my will was the leitmotif of childhood. This feeling is almost certainly exaggerated through the lens of my freedom-rich adulthood, but I just felt held down as a kid. Even when I was “free”, there was always the shadow of dread hanging around. I remember hating Fridays because it meant the weekend was coming, and weekends meant Doing A Bunch of Shit I Didn’t Want To Do. Innocuous stuff, really. Like cleaning the house and going to church. But there was no getting out of it and no reward for going through with it. When I have to do stuff I don’t want to do now, I make it up to myself somehow. Because I have the power to.
Also, there was always the risk of getting yelled at for stuff I didn’t mean to do and being too small and sensitive to do anything but cry. If someone yells at me now, I can yell at them back. And then bask in the self-righteousness. It’s great.
I did okay as a poor kid. I do so much better as an adult with enough discretionary income that I can do what I want when I don’t have to work. Am I saying money buys happiness? No, but then I’m not a millionaire and so my opinion is subject to change with my circumstances. But being the Kenny (South Park) of the school wasn’t fun, despite my extended family ensuring that I was without needs.
The combination of the travel opportunities provided by my career and my somewhat enviable income coupled with my childhood frugalness allow me to enjoy my life much more than I did as a child. I wouldn’t give up my past, though. It’s what made me who I am today.
Hated being a kid, hate being an (sort of) adult.
So I could go either way, really.
Well let’s see…
I was raised in a ghetto, by parents who didn’t know how to handle money. We fluctuated between times of “we’re seriously considering asking the Central Illinois Foodbank for a food basket to get us by until payday” to “we have enough money for a nice vacation; let’s go to Disneyworld!” and back multiple times in my 18 years.
Now I live in a trailer court, Mrs. Homie and I can’t handle money, and we fluctuate between times of “we’re seriously considering asking the Central Illinois Foodbank for a food basket to get us by until payday” to “we have enough money for a nice vacation; let’s go to Disneyworld!” pretty routinely.
I’d say it’s a wash.
Mostly my life is better. But there are certainly some things about my childhood that I miss. My family has split up so much, I have siblings I haven’t seen in thirty years.
I have more money now, but I laughed a lot more as a child. I have more fears as an adult too.
I never worried about mortality when I was 8 or 14. The acne at 14 was pretty darn awful though.
And sex alone is not as much fun as sex with a partner, so adulthood has that going for it.
So in the end, my life is improved in some ways but not in others.
My early childhood was perfect, and almost too good. My later childhood teen years were hell, stupid, and make me vicious to this day. I think the horror at the idea growing up broke part of me. I’d still trade the innocence of a child for all the hookers I’ve had.
It has been a continual roller coaster ride, but even the downs have been exhilarating. Over the past 40 odd years, I could have grown up more, I could have been educated more, I could have earned more money, but I don’t think I would have had half the enjoyment I have had in life.
No lifetime is perfect, but I can easily imagine innumerable ways in which things could have been much worse for me. It has been a wonderful ride from my earliest memories.
I had great parents and a great home life, but adult life is way better.
School sucked. It’s essentially slavery. Work for no pay, no choice not to go. Usually all the other kids sucked.
My father told me that middle school is pretty much a low point, but it gets better from there. He was right.
Better pay, better work, better freedom.
I think a big part of why I’m happier now than I was when I was a child is that I’m medicated for my psychiatric issues now, and I wasn’t then. I wish so badly that I could have been put on mood stabilizers or antidepressants when I was a kid–my whole life would probably have gone differently (for the better). That said, I like where I am right now and who I’m with, so I guess I can’t wish too much change on the past, because otherwise I wouldn’t have gotten where I am today.
What are people using as the end of childhood, for the purpose of this poll? I hated being a teenager, but pre-pubescent childhood was probably the best part of my life so far. So I voted for “My life has constantly fluctuated from good to bad and back,” but I could easily have voted for “No. Life is worse now.”