# Hasbro signs long-term movie deal to make toys into movies. **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Created:** [February 27, 2008, 3:29am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hasbro-signs-long-term-movie-deal-to-make-toys-into-movies/439336 "2008-02-27T03:29:34Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![mobo85](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/b19c9b/32.png) [@mobo85](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/mobo85)\ **Post date:** [February 27, 2008, 3:29am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hasbro-signs-long-term-movie-deal-to-make-toys-into-movies/439336/1 "2008-02-27T03:29:34Z")
You can’t make this stuff up. Hasbro and Universal have [signed a deal](http://www.forbes.com/afxnewslimited/feeds/afx/2008/02/20/afx4675453.html) to make movies based on some of their classic toys and games. The [press release](http://news.moneycentral.msn.com/ticker/article.aspx?Feed=BW&Date=20080220&ID=8215699&Symbol=HAS) states some of the franchises Hasbro hopes to make into movies, and that they plan to make one movie a year starting in 2010. Rumor has it that Ridley Scott is attached to direct _Monopoly._ Movies out of Hasbro franchises are nothing new, of course: last year we had _Transformers_, and a 1980s comedy based on _Clue_ recreated the mysterious aspect of the game by having three endings which were randomly attached to different prints. But I’m not exactly sure if this is a good idea or not. ---
**Author:** ![WarmNPrickly](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/d78d45/32.png) [@WarmNPrickly](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/WarmNPrickly)\ **Post date:** [February 27, 2008, 3:40am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hasbro-signs-long-term-movie-deal-to-make-toys-into-movies/439336/2 "2008-02-27T03:40:30Z")
They could make Risk into a six hour saga where the winner is pretty much known within the first hour. Asia would of course be a complete wasteland at the end. ---
**Author:** ![elfkin477](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/a9a28c/32.png) [@elfkin477](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/elfkin477)\ **Post date:** [February 27, 2008, 4:11am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hasbro-signs-long-term-movie-deal-to-make-toys-into-movies/439336/3 "2008-02-27T04:11:39Z")
Candyland. I can totally see this as an updated Xanadu. ---
**Author:** ![Sage\_Rat](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/sage_rat/32/399_2.png) [@Sage\_Rat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sage_Rat)\ **Post date:** [February 27, 2008, 4:18am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hasbro-signs-long-term-movie-deal-to-make-toys-into-movies/439336/4 "2008-02-27T04:18:51Z")
I rather enjoyed Zathura, though apparently it didn’t do very good at the box office. ---
**Author:** ![mswas](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/e99b99/32.png) [@mswas](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/mswas)\ **Post date:** [February 27, 2008, 4:21am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hasbro-signs-long-term-movie-deal-to-make-toys-into-movies/439336/5 "2008-02-27T04:21:07Z")
Terry Gilliam should do Candyland. ---
**Author:** ![mobo85](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/b19c9b/32.png) [@mobo85](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/mobo85)\ **Post date:** [February 27, 2008, 4:21am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hasbro-signs-long-term-movie-deal-to-make-toys-into-movies/439336/6 "2008-02-27T04:21:11Z")
[QUOTE=Sage Rat] I rather enjoyed Zathura, though apparently it didn’t do very good at the box office. [/QUOTE] So did I. That would be the easy way out for Hasbro- make every movie a _Jumanji_ ripoff. ---
**Author:** ![delphica](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e9a140/32.png) [@delphica](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/delphica)\ **Post date:** [February 27, 2008, 4:22am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hasbro-signs-long-term-movie-deal-to-make-toys-into-movies/439336/7 "2008-02-27T04:22:56Z")
_Lite-Brite_ the Movie would be awesome. If you were stoned out of your gourd. And I’m seeing _Mystery Date_ as an edgy thriller. ---
**Author:** ![blondebear](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/blondebear/32/1022_2.png) [@blondebear](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/blondebear)\ **Post date:** [February 27, 2008, 4:34am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hasbro-signs-long-term-movie-deal-to-make-toys-into-movies/439336/8 "2008-02-27T04:34:13Z")
When _Monopoly_ comes out I wonder…who will play the little race car? ---
**Author:** ![WarmNPrickly](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/d78d45/32.png) [@WarmNPrickly](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/WarmNPrickly)\ **Post date:** [February 27, 2008, 4:35am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hasbro-signs-long-term-movie-deal-to-make-toys-into-movies/439336/9 "2008-02-27T04:35:56Z")
1. A dilapidated skyscraper needs major reconstruction, but finances are limited. 2. The zoo has a problem with hypoglycemic hippo’s 3. Dr. Nick Riviera is highered to remove the presidents gall bladder 4. A disfigured man who needs constant plastic surgery 5. Jenga 6. Hungry Hungry Hippos 7. Operation 8. Mr. Potato Head ---
**Author:** ![Scissorjack](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/c67d28/32.png) [@Scissorjack](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Scissorjack)\ **Post date:** [February 27, 2008, 4:38am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hasbro-signs-long-term-movie-deal-to-make-toys-into-movies/439336/10 "2008-02-27T04:38:54Z")
**Twister** both sucked and blew. ---
**Author:** ![Terrifel](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/c68b51/32.png) [@Terrifel](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Terrifel)\ **Post date:** [February 27, 2008, 5:11am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hasbro-signs-long-term-movie-deal-to-make-toys-into-movies/439336/11 "2008-02-27T05:11:57Z")
I’m vaguely astonished they hadn’t made a \*\*Magic: The Gathering \*\* movie already. Now it’d probably be wiser to shelve the product for another decade, to better capitalize on the 1990s-revival trend. I wouldn’t object to the notion of a **Stretch Armstrong** feature film. Just so long as it’s the original beefy pro wrestler-looking version, instead of that reissued version from a few years back with the cartoony features and horribly creepy grin. I worry that Hollywood might not treat the premise of a stretchable, semi-nude vigilante crimefighter with the gravity it deserves. There is so much hidden depth to be plumbed in the **Stretch Armstrong** concept. Who is better suited to combat the menace of Stretch Monster? What is the secret history that links these two dark, iconic figures? Come to think of it… Hasbro also owns the Transformers and G. I. Joe… and Marvel Comics produced the Transformers and G. I. Joe comics. And what other green 1970’s-era stretchable figure was often seen battling Stretch Armstrong along with Stretch Monster? Of course, it was Stretch Hulk! That’s right: in the 1970s, the Hulk could stretch and wasn’t ashamed to do it. Indeed, Stretch Monster himself suspiciously resembled the Hulk’s longtime antagonist the Abomination. A pattern forms. These are dark, occult waters. And who could Stretch Armstrong rely on for aid in such times of crisis? Yes! None other than Stretch Superman and Stretch Batman! Did you know that Batman had stretching powers in the 1970s? EVERYONE DID. There is massive potential here for multiple film franchise crossovers. Then there was that terrible moment of crisis, the point of no return; when the elastic force was pulled too far, and the consequent hideous mortal rupture of strange mucus: the horror… the horror. Or the slow death, the fatal puncture, the wound to Achilles’ heel resulting in terminal oozy bleedout. Louis Boyle stabbed my Stretch Spider-Man in the groin with a pencil, and it took poor Spidey days to die. Dad tried to patch him with a tire kit, but you just can’t send Spider-Man into battle with a huge black lump on his groin. That just isn’t right. Stretch Armstrong and his ilk taught a grim truth: the flesh fails, and even our heroes are mortal. Strangely they never got around to releasing a Stretch Barbie or anything like that. I kept waiting for them to produce a girlfriend for Stretch Armstrong. It was the obvious next logical step, but no luck. In the end I was forced to improvise. Boy did I ever get in trouble. ---
**Author:** ![devilsknew](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/4da419/32.png) [@devilsknew](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/devilsknew)\ **Post date:** [February 27, 2008, 5:36am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hasbro-signs-long-term-movie-deal-to-make-toys-into-movies/439336/12 "2008-02-27T05:36:43Z")
[QUOTE=Terrifel] I’m vaguely astonished they hadn’t made a \*\*Magic: The Gathering \*\* movie already. Now it’d probably be wiser to shelve the product for another decade, to better capitalize on the 1990s-revival trend. [/QUOTE] You know what would be really cool, an interactive Magic: The Gathering Movie straight to DVD that allows you to accumulate mana and make “card plays” against the different scenes with an interactive DVD menu. Each play would lead to a different and unique movie scene, story, plot, and outcome. ---
**Author:** ![Tapioca\_Dextrin](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/3d9bf3/32.png) [@Tapioca\_Dextrin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tapioca_Dextrin)\ **Post date:** [February 27, 2008, 5:44am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hasbro-signs-long-term-movie-deal-to-make-toys-into-movies/439336/13 "2008-02-27T05:44:08Z")
[QUOTE=Christopher] 1. A dilapidated skyscraper needs major reconstruction, but finances are limited. 2. The zoo has a problem with hypoglycemic hippo’s 3. Dr. Nick Riviera is highered to remove the presidents gall bladder 4. A disfigured man who needs constant plastic surgery 5. Jenga 6. Hungry Hungry Hippos 7. Operation 8. Mr. Potato Head [/QUOTE] 9. Rodent infestation tackled by Rube Goldberg Mouse Trap ---
**Author:** ![mobo85](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/b19c9b/32.png) [@mobo85](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/mobo85)\ **Post date:** [February 27, 2008, 5:44am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hasbro-signs-long-term-movie-deal-to-make-toys-into-movies/439336/14 "2008-02-27T05:44:16Z")
[QUOTE=Terrifel] Strangely they never got around to releasing a Stretch Barbie or anything like that. I kept waiting for them to produce a girlfriend for Stretch Armstrong. It was the obvious next logical step, but no luck. In the end I was forced to improvise. Boy did I ever get in trouble. [/QUOTE] Now that I think about it, I’m surprised Disney never licensed a Stretch Armstrong-style Mrs. Incredible toy. After all, her superpower is stretching. ---
**Author:** ![Sir\_Dirx](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/b77776/32.png) [@Sir\_Dirx](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sir_Dirx)\ **Post date:** [February 27, 2008, 5:56am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hasbro-signs-long-term-movie-deal-to-make-toys-into-movies/439336/15 "2008-02-27T05:56:52Z")
[QUOTE=Tapioca Dextrin] 5. Rodent infestation tackled by Rube Goldberg Mouse Trap [/QUOTE] Already happened, more or less: [http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0119715/](http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0119715/) Also, don’t forget that Pirates of the Caribbean was [very loosely] based on a Dinsey ride. We ended up with a darn popular trilogy of movies. I don’t see a Monopoly movie gaining anywhere near as much fanfare, but this Hasbro toy movie business is not all that implausible. My vote would be for a Stratego movie. I could see that working. ---
**Author:** ![mobo85](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/b19c9b/32.png) [@mobo85](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/mobo85)\ **Post date:** [February 27, 2008, 6:13am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hasbro-signs-long-term-movie-deal-to-make-toys-into-movies/439336/16 "2008-02-27T06:13:32Z")
[QUOTE=Sir Dirx] Also, don’t forget that Pirates of the Caribbean was [very loosely] based on a Dinsey ride. We ended up with a darn popular trilogy of movies. [/QUOTE] Yes, but we also ended up with _The Country Bears_ and _The Haunted Mansion_. ---
**Author:** ![Hey\_It\_s\_That\_Guy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/6f9a4e/32.png) [@Hey\_It\_s\_That\_Guy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hey_It_s_That_Guy)\ **Post date:** [February 27, 2008, 6:16am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hasbro-signs-long-term-movie-deal-to-make-toys-into-movies/439336/17 "2008-02-27T06:16:34Z")
I could see Monopoly working as a turn-of-the-century rags-to-riches sort of story, a picaresque with Uncle Moneybags as a lovable rogue and relentless robber baron, kind of a cross between Daniel Plainview in _There Will Be Blood_ and Scrooge McDuck. Either that or a Guy Ritchie black comedy/crime caper about crooked real estate dealing that introduces the various players at the beginning, complete with captions: “The Iron,” “The Shoe,” “The Dog,” “The Car,” and so forth – as long as Jason Statham and Vinnie Jones were in there somewhere. ---
**Author:** ![mobo85](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/b19c9b/32.png) [@mobo85](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/mobo85)\ **Post date:** [February 27, 2008, 6:36am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hasbro-signs-long-term-movie-deal-to-make-toys-into-movies/439336/18 "2008-02-27T06:36:54Z")
How could I forget [this parody?](http://youtube.com/watch?v=Cl1aZ42Pj7U) ---
**Author:** ![EsotericEnigma](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/e274bd/32.png) [@EsotericEnigma](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/EsotericEnigma)\ **Post date:** [February 27, 2008, 7:47am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hasbro-signs-long-term-movie-deal-to-make-toys-into-movies/439336/19 "2008-02-27T07:47:29Z")
[QUOTE=mobo85] How could I forget [this parody?](http://youtube.com/watch?v=Cl1aZ42Pj7U) [/QUOTE] “There’s two hotels on that property… now give me my !@#$ing rent!” Ohhh thank you for this. ---
**Author:** ![furryman](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/furryman/32/99_2.png) [@furryman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/furryman)\ **Post date:** [February 27, 2008, 6:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hasbro-signs-long-term-movie-deal-to-make-toys-into-movies/439336/20 "2008-02-27T18:58:45Z")
[QUOTE=Big Bad Voodoo Lou] I could see Monopoly working as a turn-of-the-century rags-to-riches sort of story, a picaresque with Uncle Moneybags as a lovable rogue and relentless robber baron, kind of a cross between Daniel Plainview in _There Will Be Blood_ and Scrooge McDuck. Either that or a Guy Ritchie black comedy/crime caper about crooked real estate dealing that introduces the various players at the beginning, complete with captions: “The Iron,” “The Shoe,” “The Dog,” “The Car,” and so forth – as long as Jason Statham and Vinnie Jones were in there somewhere. [/QUOTE] Quentin Tarintino directs: “Why am I The Shoe?” “Because you’re gay.” No disrespect intended towards people who are gay or people who like the shoe. [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hasbro-signs-long-term-movie-deal-to-make-toys-into-movies/439336.md?page=2)