# Hastur, I tried to be the voice of reason, but you are being a schmuck **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [June 2, 2001, 7:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hastur-i-tried-to-be-the-voice-of-reason-but-you-are-being-a-schmuck/67353 "2001-06-02T19:50:27Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 9
**Author:** ![Una\_Persson](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/una_persson/32/346_2.png) [@Una\_Persson](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Una_Persson)\ **Post date:** [June 5, 2001, 10:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hastur-i-tried-to-be-the-voice-of-reason-but-you-are-being-a-schmuck/67353/161 "2001-06-05T22:35:55Z")
Great God, **Scylla** , you did actually _read_ the book, right? And I wish there was an emoticon that had just one eyebrow raised - but there is no emoticon for what I feel šŸ˜› . I mean, I read the book last ā€¦ about 16 years ago? And I still picked out all of your errors. You have been remiss. You need to retire to the john for a few hours and start catching up again. On reading _The Princess Bride_, of courseā€¦ ---
**Author:** ![Scylla](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/a5b964/32.png) [@Scylla](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Scylla)\ **Post date:** [June 5, 2001, 10:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hastur-i-tried-to-be-the-voice-of-reason-but-you-are-being-a-schmuck/67353/162 "2001-06-05T22:55:25Z")
Ha! Fooled you all! All those errors were of course deliberate. I was testing you. Fortunately you passed. (I thought about all the possible excuses and I think this one works best) ---
**Author:** ![Scylla](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/a5b964/32.png) [@Scylla](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Scylla)\ **Post date:** [June 5, 2001, 11:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hastur-i-tried-to-be-the-voice-of-reason-but-you-are-being-a-schmuck/67353/163 "2001-06-05T23:03:03Z")
Iā€™ve read the bonus chapter as well. I even have the secret first chapter of the sequel **Buttercupā€™s Baby**. Now because you were mean to me, I wonā€™t tell you about it. Letā€™s lay off me now, and get back to gratuitously attacking Hastur Ok? Hastur: Your logic is flawed, youā€™re worldview is skewed, your morals are bankrupt, your karate is for shit, Wonder Woman was taking Testosterone shots. You smell bad, and your underwear is dirty. This pretending to be a GenX gay, bad boy facade has gone on to long. Iā€™ve had your ISP traced and your real name is Chad, youā€™re an accountant in Connecticut, and youā€™re married to a girl named Muffy. You want proof? That other day when he was pretending his hand hurt was really because he shanked a shot out of the rough on the 8th and strained his wrist. I had to do it. ---
**Author:** ![Fenris](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/fenris/32/498_2.png) [@Fenris](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Fenris)\ **Post date:** [June 5, 2001, 11:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hastur-i-tried-to-be-the-voice-of-reason-but-you-are-being-a-schmuck/67353/164 "2001-06-05T23:39:04Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Scylla \* > **Wonder Woman was taking Testosterone shots.** Now youā€™ve gone too far. Insult Hastur if you must, but do not dis the Amazon Princess. She was the second super-heroine, her early adventures were weird and she rocked. I have no choice: either you take that comment back or I start spewing Wonder Woman Trivia until your eyes bleed. Let me give you a sample. When Wonder Woman was a girl, she hung out with Jerro the Mer-boy. Donā€™t wanna hear about Wonder-Tot? Then take it back. Marvin, from the Super-Friends cartoon was kinda related to Wonder Woman. Donā€™t wanna know how? Then take it back. Iā€™m warning you Scylla, I know the origin of the original Dr. Psycho (even his wifeā€™s name) and Iā€™m _not scared to recite it!_, so do us all a favor and _take it back_ Never dis Wonder Woman around a fanboy. Fenris ---
**Author:** ![Scylla](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/a5b964/32.png) [@Scylla](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Scylla)\ **Post date:** [June 5, 2001, 11:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hastur-i-tried-to-be-the-voice-of-reason-but-you-are-being-a-schmuck/67353/165 "2001-06-05T23:44:51Z")
Fenris: Cool, a fan! Maybe you can tell me what that big bulge in Wonder Womenā€™s spandex panties was. ---
**Author:** ![Fenris](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/fenris/32/498_2.png) [@Fenris](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Fenris)\ **Post date:** [June 5, 2001, 11:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hastur-i-tried-to-be-the-voice-of-reason-but-you-are-being-a-schmuck/67353/166 "2001-06-05T23:58:48Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Scylla \* > \*\*Fenris: > > Cool, a fan! > > Maybe you can tell me what that big bulge in Wonder Womenā€™s spandex panties was. \*\* Now youā€™ve gone _too_ far. This insult MUST be avenged. You leave me no choice. I present, for your reading pain: **The Conflicting Secret Origins of the Robot Plane:** The robot plane, made of Amazonium, is invisible and can be controlled by mental radio, but _where did it come from_? There are several answers (not including the current, post-Crisis version, and so far, you havenā€™t earned that kind of pain. Yet.) In an early issue, Wonder Woman had to get the sections of the disassembled plane from remote locatons so that they could be assembled into the Robot Plane. However, other texts insist that the Robot Plane is actually the transformed Pegasus. However, the earliest appearance of the Robot Plane involves Wonder Woman being given the plane by Aphrodite. How can these origins be reconciled? I donā€™t know. Now, Scylla, either you take those comments back, or I tell you the origin of Wonder Womanā€™s Tiara. If forced, I am required by law to admit that I know the whole background of The Crisis on Infinite Earths and _will tell it, if provoked_. Save yourself the deep hurting and just retract your comment. Fenris ---
**Author:** ![Scylla](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/a5b964/32.png) [@Scylla](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Scylla)\ **Post date:** [June 6, 2001, 12:00am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hastur-i-tried-to-be-the-voice-of-reason-but-you-are-being-a-schmuck/67353/167 "2001-06-06T00:00:58Z")
Doesnā€™t the dumb bitch realize that an invisible plane is pointless if it doesnā€™t make the occupant invisible? ---
**Author:** ![Mockingbird](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/c68b51/32.png) [@Mockingbird](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mockingbird)\ **Post date:** [June 6, 2001, 12:02am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hastur-i-tried-to-be-the-voice-of-reason-but-you-are-being-a-schmuck/67353/168 "2001-06-06T00:02:07Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Scylla \* > \*\* > This pretending to be a GenX gay, bad boy facade has gone on to long. Iā€™ve had your ISP traced and your real name is Chad, youā€™re an accountant in Connecticut, and youā€™re married to a girl named Muffy. > > You want proof? > > That other day when he was pretending his hand hurt was really because he shanked a shot out of the rough on the 8th and strained his wrist. > > I had to do it. \*\* And you are actually a black lesbian hooker named Towanda who likes to collect Hello Kitty products, and masturbates to Miss Cleo commercials. You insulted Wonder Woman, prepare to die. ---
**Author:** ![Mockingbird](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/c68b51/32.png) [@Mockingbird](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mockingbird)\ **Post date:** [June 6, 2001, 12:03am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hastur-i-tried-to-be-the-voice-of-reason-but-you-are-being-a-schmuck/67353/169 "2001-06-06T00:03:36Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Scylla \* > \*\*Doesnā€™t the dumb bitch realize that an invisible plane is pointless if it doesnā€™t make the occupant invisible? \*\* She no longer has an invisible planeā€¦ Fenrisā€¦ ignore the bad Byrne retcon. It is gone now, and we can be happy with the Perez via Jiminez version that is now going on. Met Phil this past weekend. Extremely cool man. ---
**Author:** ![Polycarp](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/82dd89/32.png) [@Polycarp](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Polycarp)\ **Post date:** [June 6, 2001, 12:18am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hastur-i-tried-to-be-the-voice-of-reason-but-you-are-being-a-schmuck/67353/170 "2001-06-06T00:18:46Z")
Iā€™m glad to know this thread has moved from typical Pititude to literary analysisā€¦ ::: koff, koff ::: In that spirit, I take a quote from my esteemed fellow poster, clear out the specifics, and hereby propose **Fenrisā€™s Law** > [@](#): > > _ā€œYou do know that N.N. wrote a second book, right? (Itā€™s nowhere near as good as {the first one}.ā€ is a universal law of fiction._ ---
**Author:** ![Fenris](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/fenris/32/498_2.png) [@Fenris](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Fenris)\ **Post date:** [June 6, 2001, 12:26am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hastur-i-tried-to-be-the-voice-of-reason-but-you-are-being-a-schmuck/67353/171 "2001-06-06T00:26:26Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Hastur \* > \*\*She no longer has an invisible planeā€¦ Fenrisā€¦ ignore the bad Byrne retcon. It is gone now, and we can be happy with the Perez via Jiminez version that is now going on. > > Met Phil this past weekend. Extremely cool man. \*\* Cool. Jiminezā€™s Wonder Woman is the first time Iā€™ve enjoyed her adventures for something other than camp value since Perez left (I met Perezā€¦good heavensā€¦two _decades!_ ago (now I feel old). Heā€™s one of the coolest creators Iā€™ve ever had the pleasure to meet and Iā€™ve heard similarly good things about Phil.) I loved the civil war storyline that just ended and the current issue with Lois was the best issue in the last 120 or so issues. (And will I earn your eternal wrath if I admit that I kinda liked the Byrne Wonder Woman specifically for the camp value? I meanā€¦he brought back Egg Fu. EGG FU! And Giganta! The only bits he missed were doing a Wonder Woman in her Diana Rigg outfit and some sort of ā€œloving submissionā€ storyline. His stuff wasnā€™t _good_ but it _was_ fun!) I really, really wanna see Phil or George or SOMEone do a one-shot with the depowered, Diana Rigg Wonder Woman (and I Ching!) of the '60s. Fenris ---
**Author:** ![Scylla](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/a5b964/32.png) [@Scylla](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Scylla)\ **Post date:** [June 6, 2001, 12:34am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hastur-i-tried-to-be-the-voice-of-reason-but-you-are-being-a-schmuck/67353/172 "2001-06-06T00:34:33Z")
> [@](#): > > Marvin, from the Super-Friends cartoon was kinda related to Wonder Woman. Duh! Sheā€™s her son. Too bad they donā€™t know who the dad was. She gave Superman the Wonderclap, Aquaman the crabs, scrambled Robinā€™s eggs. Only plastic man (equipped with Latex) escaped disease. Why else did they keep her around. For her crime fighting ability? Yeah right! SHe was always the first one to get captured. Batman and Superman were always getting trapped by the bad guy trying to save her so theyuā€™d get some that night. What a ho. Hell, I heard she even slept with Solomon Grundy. ---
**Author:** ![Fenris](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/fenris/32/498_2.png) [@Fenris](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Fenris)\ **Post date:** [June 6, 2001, 12:38am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hastur-i-tried-to-be-the-voice-of-reason-but-you-are-being-a-schmuck/67353/173 "2001-06-06T00:38:44Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Polycarp \* > \*\*In that spirit, I take a quote from my esteemed fellow poster, clear out the specifics, and hereby propose **Fenrisā€™s Law** > > > [@](#): > > > > _ā€œYou do know that N.N. wrote a second book, right? (Itā€™s nowhere near as good as {the first one}.ā€ is a universal law of fiction._ > > \*\* Poly, Iā€™m flattered, but that would be Fenrisā€™s SECOND Law. [url-ā€œ[http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?threadid=66101](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?threadid=66101)ā€]Fenrisā€™s First Law is: The longer any discussion of Science Fiction lasts, the greater the probability that itā€™ll end up being a debate about Heinlein. Fenris ---
**Author:** ![Mockingbird](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/c68b51/32.png) [@Mockingbird](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mockingbird)\ **Post date:** [June 6, 2001, 12:53am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hastur-i-tried-to-be-the-voice-of-reason-but-you-are-being-a-schmuck/67353/174 "2001-06-06T00:53:36Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Scylla \* > \*\* > > > [@](#): > > > > Marvin, from the Super-Friends cartoon was kinda related to Wonder Woman. > > Duh! Sheā€™s her son. Too bad they donā€™t know who the dad was. > > She gave Superman the Wonderclap, Aquaman the crabs, scrambled Robinā€™s eggs. Only plastic man (equipped with Latex) escaped disease. Why else did they keep her around. For her crime fighting ability? Yeah right! SHe was always the first one to get captured. Batman and Superman were always getting trapped by the bad guy trying to save her so theyuā€™d get some that night. > > What a ho. > > Hell, I heard she even slept with Solomon Grundy. > > \*\* Yā€™knowā€¦ I donā€™t find that amusing. Not even in the slightest. If you are trying to bother me, it is working. I hold Wonder Woman in very high esteem, and as I have researched her to the extent that I am considered a Wonder Woman historian, I donā€™t like to see her besmirched. Call it humorless, but that is how I feel. ---
**Author:** ![Mockingbird](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/c68b51/32.png) [@Mockingbird](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mockingbird)\ **Post date:** [June 6, 2001, 1:02am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hastur-i-tried-to-be-the-voice-of-reason-but-you-are-being-a-schmuck/67353/175 "2001-06-06T01:02:09Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Fenris \* > \*\* > Cool. Jiminezā€™s Wonder Woman is the first time Iā€™ve enjoyed her adventures for something other than camp value since Perez left (I met Perezā€¦good heavensā€¦two _decades!_ ago (now I feel old). Heā€™s one of the coolest creators Iā€™ve ever had the pleasure to meet and Iā€™ve heard similarly good things about Phil.) I loved the civil war storyline that just ended and the current issue with Lois was the best issue in the last 120 or so issues. > > (And will I earn your eternal wrath if I admit that I kinda liked the Byrne Wonder Woman specifically for the camp value? I meanā€¦he brought back Egg Fu. EGG FU! And Giganta! The only bits he missed were doing a Wonder Woman in her Diana Rigg outfit and some sort of ā€œloving submissionā€ storyline. His stuff wasnā€™t _good_ but it _was_ fun!) > > I really, really wanna see Phil or George or SOMEone do a one-shot with the depowered, Diana Rigg Wonder Woman (and I Ching!) of the '60s. > > Fenris \*\* You can like whatever you want. And I mean that without a trace of condescention or scorn. I consider the Byrne years to be her worst. The golden age villains he brought back had only the slightest resemblance to their original state. I thought his attack on post-Crisis continuity by making Hippolyta the golden age Wonder Woman was appalling. This makes the Fury continuity even more difficult, not to mention his hacknayed revision of Donna Troy. While I am glad Donna is again Dianaā€™s sister and an amazon, the process was too deus ex machina and the mark of a mediocre writer. I loathed his art for Wonder Woman, thought the stories were poorly crafted, and he floundered more than in the early Messner-Loebs run. If I had to choose, I would go with the Taco Whiz years over the Byrne run. Just because he did the new X-Men with Claremont and a good run during the 80ā€™s on the Fantastic Four does not mean he should be able to rest on his laurels, turn out just anything and then think people should kiss his ass. Byrne does want people to kiss his ass and worship him, which extends beyond the readers to his fellow artists and writers. My friend Andy Mangels, who also has written for DC and other companies worked a booth next to him at the San Diego con. Byrne wanted to go for food, turned to Andy and told him to watch his booth. He didnā€™t ask, he ordered. Andy rightly told him to go fuck himself, and then he turned to another professional who did what Byrne told him to do. Thus, I see the man as unlikable as a writer/artist and as a human being. YMMV. ---
**Author:** ![Scylla](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/a5b964/32.png) [@Scylla](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Scylla)\ **Post date:** [June 6, 2001, 1:21am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hastur-i-tried-to-be-the-voice-of-reason-but-you-are-being-a-schmuck/67353/176 "2001-06-06T01:21:36Z")
> [@](#): > > I donā€™t like to see her besmirched. Iā€™m out of jokes anyway. Superman may be able to stop a speeding train, but when they need to derail a thread they call me. ---
**Author:** ![yosemite](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/y/3ab097/32.png) [@yosemite](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/yosemite)\ **Post date:** [June 6, 2001, 1:33am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hastur-i-tried-to-be-the-voice-of-reason-but-you-are-being-a-schmuck/67353/177 "2001-06-06T01:33:28Z")
> [@](#): > > Call it humorless, but that is how I feel. Iā€™m _definitely_ calling it humorless. Iā€™ve been following this thread, and was happy to see it take a happier turn. And then this. Oh _please._ Yeah, Iā€™ll say it again. Humorless. ---
**Author:** ![Guinastasia](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/guinastasia/32/5751_2.png) [@Guinastasia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Guinastasia)\ **Post date:** [June 6, 2001, 1:35am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hastur-i-tried-to-be-the-voice-of-reason-but-you-are-being-a-schmuck/67353/178 "2001-06-06T01:35:52Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Hastur \* > And you are actually a black lesbian hooker named Towanda who likes to collect Hello Kitty products, and masturbates to Miss Cleo commercials. This is CRYING out to be used as a sig! ---
**Author:** ![Mockingbird](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/c68b51/32.png) [@Mockingbird](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mockingbird)\ **Post date:** [June 6, 2001, 2:03am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hastur-i-tried-to-be-the-voice-of-reason-but-you-are-being-a-schmuck/67353/179 "2001-06-06T02:03:02Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by yosemitebabe \* > \*\* > > > [@](#): > > > > Call it humorless, but that is how I feel. > > Iā€™m _definitely_ calling it humorless. > > Iā€™ve been following this thread, and was happy to see it take a happier turn. And then this. Oh _please._ > > Yeah, Iā€™ll say it again. Humorless. \*\* I was polite about it and wasnā€™t attacking. Isnā€™t that enough? I think Iā€™m allowed to have feelings. GEEZ. ---
**Author:** ![Mockingbird](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/c68b51/32.png) [@Mockingbird](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mockingbird)\ **Post date:** [June 6, 2001, 2:05am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hastur-i-tried-to-be-the-voice-of-reason-but-you-are-being-a-schmuck/67353/180 "2001-06-06T02:05:02Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Guinastasia \* > \*\* > > > [@](#): > > > > \*Originally posted by Hastur \* > > And you are actually a black lesbian hooker named Towanda who likes to collect Hello Kitty products, and masturbates to Miss Cleo commercials. > > This is CRYING out to be used as a sig! > \*\* Use it in good health, Pearl. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hastur-i-tried-to-be-the-voice-of-reason-but-you-are-being-a-schmuck/67353.md?page=8) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hastur-i-tried-to-be-the-voice-of-reason-but-you-are-being-a-schmuck/67353.md?page=10)