# "Have a Happy Period." (TMI) **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [November 17, 2005, 1:41am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/have-a-happy-period-tmi/331425 "2005-11-17T01:41:48Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![Broomstick](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/broomstick/32/246_2.png) [@Broomstick](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Broomstick)\ **Post date:** [November 17, 2005, 11:07am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/have-a-happy-period-tmi/331425/21 "2005-11-17T11:07:18Z")
Uh… **Chanteuse** … thanks for, um, _sharing_… Get better soon. :::hugs+chocolate::: Although I share everyone else’s reaction. Happy Period? _Happy_ Period? Somehow, that’s not the word I’d use to describe my emotion standing in a bathroom stall at work trying to juggle my outer clothes, my underwear, a pad that looked like it came from surgery on a hemophilliac, toilet paper, new pad, etc. etc. Not to mention worry about dripping blood, clotty bits sneaking away, stains on the clothes, drips on the floor… Yes, I have heavy flow the first day or two… why do you ask? Oh, yes, that spreading pool of — And the “sizes”. Should be listed in gallons or liters or something. None of this “slender” or “super” crap. I don’t want “super”, I want “55 gallon capacity”. ---
**Author:** ![Chanteuse](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/9de053/32.png) [@Chanteuse](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chanteuse)\ **Post date:** [November 17, 2005, 12:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/have-a-happy-period-tmi/331425/22 "2005-11-17T12:59:10Z")
> [@Mac Guffin](#): > > Well, in my opinion we didn’t hit the promised TMI of the title until that last post. > Really. Abraded, clotty, yeast infected chicken-killin coochies on fire? > > _shudder_ I aim to please! 😃 I am getting better, though–_finally_! ---
**Author:** ![Chanteuse](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/9de053/32.png) [@Chanteuse](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chanteuse)\ **Post date:** [November 17, 2005, 1:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/have-a-happy-period-tmi/331425/23 "2005-11-17T13:00:29Z")
Oh, and thanks, **Broomstick** –hugs and chocolate are _always_ appreciated! 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![Excalibre](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/898d66/32.png) [@Excalibre](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Excalibre)\ **Post date:** [November 17, 2005, 2:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/have-a-happy-period-tmi/331425/24 "2005-11-17T14:30:15Z")
> [@Chanteuse](#): > > Oh, and thanks, **Broomstick** –hugs and chocolate are _always_ appreciated! 🙂 How about a firm handshake instead? After you’ve washed your hands, that is. I’m not sure I want to hug someone with a yeast-infected cootchie of fire. Best of luck getting better, though. Antibiotics suck. (I do hope they haven’t given you diarrhea. That would make a bad situation immeasurably worse!) ---
**Author:** ![EmeraldGrue](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/dc4da7/32.png) [@EmeraldGrue](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/EmeraldGrue)\ **Post date:** [November 17, 2005, 2:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/have-a-happy-period-tmi/331425/25 "2005-11-17T14:46:50Z")
Yeah, those ads are a _bad idea_. Flashback: me, in throes of PMS depression, screaming at a giant Always poster plastered 10 storeys up on the side of an apartment building on a busy Toronto street: “IT’S NEVER A F\*\*\*ING HAPPY PERIOD!” and the bf looking awkward. Love the alternate slogans, **Susie Derkins**! ---
**Author:** ![The\_Weird\_One](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/7bcc69/32.png) [@The\_Weird\_One](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_Weird_One)\ **Post date:** [November 17, 2005, 2:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/have-a-happy-period-tmi/331425/26 "2005-11-17T14:47:48Z")
> [@Mac Guffin](#): > > \ coochies on fire \ Band name! ---
**Author:** ![Sattua](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/sattua/32/11906_2.png) [@Sattua](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sattua)\ **Post date:** [November 17, 2005, 3:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/have-a-happy-period-tmi/331425/27 "2005-11-17T15:21:06Z")
Actually, for me, it’s such a relief to get rid of the increasingly worse PMS, I _am_ pretty happy during my period. Messy, but happy. And I do use Always pads. They are nice and thin. ---
**Author:** ![Uncommon\_Sense](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/u/f9ae1b/32.png) [@Uncommon\_Sense](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Uncommon_Sense)\ **Post date:** [November 17, 2005, 3:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/have-a-happy-period-tmi/331425/28 "2005-11-17T15:31:50Z")
I knew I should have stopped after “ **Raging** yeast infection…” Good things could not have followed. It will take me several months to get over my new fear of cunnilingus. Nah, maybe minutes… ---
**Author:** ![Wile\_E](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/c37758/32.png) [@Wile\_E](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Wile_E)\ **Post date:** [November 17, 2005, 3:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/have-a-happy-period-tmi/331425/29 "2005-11-17T15:38:03Z")
> [@Excalibre](#): > > Actually, I’m pretty sure many women have, at one time or another, been _thrilled_ to get their periods. Thrilled to _get_ them, maybe, but after the initial relief of getting it you still have to put up with it for a few more days and then it’s the same old annoying crap. Not necessarily happy. Always pads give me a rash, too. Something about that “dri-weave” top panel of theirs is very irritating to sensitive bits. ---
**Author:** ![Kalhoun](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/3bc359/32.png) [@Kalhoun](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kalhoun)\ **Post date:** [November 17, 2005, 4:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/have-a-happy-period-tmi/331425/30 "2005-11-17T16:01:39Z")
> [@Susie Derkins](#): > > That’s the new slogan for Always pads. > > I, for one, wonder how in the hell my maxi pad can make me “happy” during this miserable time of the month. Does it time-release vodka into my system? Is there a voice chip to reassure me that I still look hot as I struggle to button my jeans over my bloated tummy? Did they install a little vibrating panel? > > If it isn’t any of the above, then I call bullshit. Why not stick to the basics, Always? I think a better slogan would be “Always: Soaking Up Whatever You Squirt Out.” Or maybe “We Work Hard So You Don’t Have To…Throw Out Your Mattress.” Hell, “Better Than Caulk” would be preferable to that dreck. > > “Have a Happy Period”? Give me a break. Hey…lighten up! After all, you couldn’t ride a bike or swim without them!! ---
**Author:** ![Susie\_Derkins](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/e47774/32.png) [@Susie\_Derkins](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Susie_Derkins)\ **Post date:** [November 17, 2005, 4:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/have-a-happy-period-tmi/331425/31 "2005-11-17T16:15:11Z")
Or horseback ride! Can’t forget that one. And **pokey** , you’re just awesome. ---
**Author:** ![Rebo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/rebo/32/13005_2.png) [@Rebo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rebo)\ **Post date:** [November 17, 2005, 4:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/have-a-happy-period-tmi/331425/32 "2005-11-17T16:24:49Z")
I love you guys! 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Aangelica](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/b2d939/32.png) [@Aangelica](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Aangelica)\ **Post date:** [November 17, 2005, 4:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/have-a-happy-period-tmi/331425/33 "2005-11-17T16:26:30Z")
I saw an ad featuring that new slogan and the very first thing that popped into my head was “Why in the name of all that’s sane and holy does Always have a man writing their ad text?” I can buy feeling _relief_ about your period (I’ve been there myself). But “relief” and “happy” aren’t all that close together on the emotion-o-meter. Then again, one of the happiest moments of my life (in terms of long-lasting impact) was the day I discovered tampons. Pads are the devil. Although, there aren’t enough :rolleyes: in the world for the advertising geniuses behind the Tampax “Pearl” campaign. And I fully agree that “super” is a stupid, stupid size distinction. If we’re giving superlatives to things I’m intended to put in my cootchie, I think we should go for “stupendous” or possibly “magnificent” dammit. ---
**Author:** ![Susie\_Derkins](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/e47774/32.png) [@Susie\_Derkins](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Susie_Derkins)\ **Post date:** [November 17, 2005, 4:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/have-a-happy-period-tmi/331425/34 "2005-11-17T16:42:46Z")
If I could code the tampons, “slender” would be known as the “lucky bitch” size. And instead of little flowers on the wrappers, I would have little hands with the middle finger raised. ---
**Author:** ![Aangelica](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/b2d939/32.png) [@Aangelica](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Aangelica)\ **Post date:** [November 17, 2005, 4:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/have-a-happy-period-tmi/331425/35 "2005-11-17T16:52:28Z")
For a while they were calling them the “teen” size, which just chapped my ass when I was a teen and needed the super some days. They could at least pick a size name that’s not associated with fat - I don’t want the notion of “super-size” and my cootchie associated, even in my own brain. Jumbo is right out too. This isn’t helped by my brother (who deserved the smacking he got), who one day when shopping for his wife picked up a box and said “wow I didn’t know you could supersize these! It’s just like fries!”). ---
**Author:** ![calstateworker](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/6bbea6/32.png) [@calstateworker](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/calstateworker)\ **Post date:** [November 17, 2005, 5:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/have-a-happy-period-tmi/331425/36 "2005-11-17T17:04:08Z")
Yes it’s awful, but notice, we are all talking about Always. Have any of us ever given it that much attention before? ---
**Author:** ![CalMeacham](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/calmeacham/32/35_2.png) [@CalMeacham](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CalMeacham)\ **Post date:** [November 17, 2005, 5:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/have-a-happy-period-tmi/331425/37 "2005-11-17T17:28:29Z")
Get your **Happy Period** together with a **Happy Colon**. [http://www.clearwaterherbs.com/colon.html](http://www.clearwaterherbs.com/colon.html) If you get a partial colostomy, maybe you can get **Happy SemiColon**. Then read some **Happy Quotes** : [http://www.geocities.com/breakingset/happyquotes.html](http://www.geocities.com/breakingset/happyquotes.html) ---
**Author:** ![Cervaise](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cervaise/32/16693_2.png) [@Cervaise](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cervaise)\ **Post date:** [November 17, 2005, 9:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/have-a-happy-period-tmi/331425/38 "2005-11-17T21:51:40Z")
> [@Susie Derkins](#): > > “Better Than Caulk” would be preferable to that dreck. Not for radio ads, because some people don’t pronounce the L. ---
**Author:** ![Susie\_Derkins](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/e47774/32.png) [@Susie\_Derkins](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Susie_Derkins)\ **Post date:** [November 17, 2005, 11:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/have-a-happy-period-tmi/331425/39 "2005-11-17T23:48:10Z")
Hmm…you’re right, **Cervaise**. That may boost sales _too_ much. ---
**Author:** ![ryobserver](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/b2d939/32.png) [@ryobserver](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ryobserver)\ **Post date:** [November 18, 2005, 12:18am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/have-a-happy-period-tmi/331425/40 "2005-11-18T00:18:39Z")
My first thought on reading the OP was “Time-release vodka?? For the cramps I used to get, I’d want morphine.” [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/have-a-happy-period-tmi/331425.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/have-a-happy-period-tmi/331425.md?page=3)