# "Have a Happy Period." (TMI) **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [November 17, 2005, 1:41am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/have-a-happy-period-tmi/331425 "2005-11-17T01:41:48Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![lee](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/lee/32/7455_2.png) [@lee](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lee)\ **Post date:** [November 18, 2005, 1:28am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/have-a-happy-period-tmi/331425/41 "2005-11-18T01:28:55Z")
> [@Chanteuse](#): > > Cleaning up leaves me looking as though I’ve been slaughtering chickens, as I’m passing not only large amounts of blood, but numerous clots as well. My girly bits are on FIRE and I’m having to constantly abrade them just to remain sanitary. And I don’t even want to talk about how disgusting it is to try and apply the yeast medication under these circumstances. > > A happy period? Up yours, Always! When I get yeast infections it is usually from taking antibiotics to get rid of bronchitis, so I am always glad to see my period when I am taking antibiotics because it means I probably won’t get a yeast infection. Things don’t seem right down there after a yeast infection until after I have a period. My periods are copious and passing clots the size of hen’s eggs is par for the course. I used to like always, until they started giving me a rash. Now it is stayfree for me. ---
**Author:** ![Susie\_Derkins](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/e47774/32.png) [@Susie\_Derkins](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Susie_Derkins)\ **Post date:** [November 18, 2005, 1:45am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/have-a-happy-period-tmi/331425/42 "2005-11-18T01:45:59Z")
> [@Chanteuse](#): > > Up yours, Always! It just occurred to me that even this would be a better slogan for them. ---
**Author:** ![ILovCoffee](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/e99b99/32.png) [@ILovCoffee](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ILovCoffee)\ **Post date:** [November 18, 2005, 1:52am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/have-a-happy-period-tmi/331425/43 "2005-11-18T01:52:45Z")
Time-release vodka sounds good 'cept I have to work full time and the two don’t mix. I guess I 'm just a wimp because I have been contemplating performing my own hysterectomy with a knife & spoon for the past 4 days. ARRRGHHHH!!! make the cramping STOP! already. Belly laughs from reading this thread and the “air biscuit” one helped a little. ---
**Author:** ![DeVena](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/dec6dc/32.png) [@DeVena](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DeVena)\ **Post date:** [November 18, 2005, 4:43am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/have-a-happy-period-tmi/331425/44 "2005-11-18T04:43:30Z")
OK I’ve got a question… Today the evil “Happy Period” fairy visited. Bitch. I stopped by the store to restock my supplies and, low and behold, I found the Always pad for beyond overnight. **Maximum Protection**. Great, since my flow demands I use tampons and pads simultaneously, maximum sounds perfect. Then I get home and read the package. _For Sizes 14 Plus_. Huh? Sizes? Like dress sizes? Yep. Longer and wider. For us fat chicks. OK they don’t come out and say that. According to the customer service chick at the toll free number, these are designed for women who wear panties size 8 and above. As if my period wasn’t bad enough already. Now every time I need to change pads, I’m reminded I need to go on a diet. I need more chocolate. ---
**Author:** ![gfloyd](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/d2c977/32.png) [@gfloyd](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/gfloyd)\ **Post date:** [November 18, 2005, 6:20am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/have-a-happy-period-tmi/331425/45 "2005-11-18T06:20:53Z")
Okay, is anyone else confused and slightly disturbed by the new Kotex labels? They went from generic color coded wrappers to these weird flowers. And lo and behold, I found while reading the package that it wasn’t a random flower, but the Cactus Dehila (or something like that) which the Aztecs considered to be a sign of elegance, dignity and good taste. What? Good taste? Whatever. And my boyfriend are very happy when we learn that I’m not pregnant … ---
**Author:** ![Mame](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/858c86/32.png) [@Mame](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mame)\ **Post date:** [November 18, 2005, 11:59am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/have-a-happy-period-tmi/331425/46 "2005-11-18T11:59:32Z")
Given the Aztec sacrificial rituals, methinks someone in marketing has a sense of humour!! ---
**Author:** ![irishgirl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/8edcca/32.png) [@irishgirl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/irishgirl)\ **Post date:** [November 18, 2005, 12:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/have-a-happy-period-tmi/331425/47 "2005-11-18T12:31:12Z")
Happy- not a word I would associate with periods. “Always- does exactly what it says on the box.” “Always- your bits deserve better than generic!” “Always- because you’re worth it!” “Always- for stain-free gussets” “Always- it was good enough for your mom!” Surely they could do better. ---
**Author:** ![Wile\_E](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/c37758/32.png) [@Wile\_E](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Wile_E)\ **Post date:** [November 18, 2005, 4:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/have-a-happy-period-tmi/331425/48 "2005-11-18T16:10:06Z")
> [@gfloyd](#): > > Okay, is anyone else confused and slightly disturbed by the new Kotex labels? They went from generic color coded wrappers to these weird flowers. And lo and behold, I found while reading the package that it wasn’t a random flower, but the Cactus Dehila (or something like that) which the Aztecs considered to be a sign of elegance, dignity and good taste. What? Good taste? Whatever. > … A flower from a **cactus** is not exactly something I’d want to associate with my nether bits. ---
**Author:** ![InappropriateHumor](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/eb8c5e/32.png) [@InappropriateHumor](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/InappropriateHumor)\ **Post date:** [November 18, 2005, 4:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/have-a-happy-period-tmi/331425/49 "2005-11-18T16:45:20Z")
I love this thread! It’s very timely. I started yet another period from hell this morning. Woke up @ 3:00 a.m. in a warm, viscous pool of goo, cramps so bad I was seriously contemplating removing my own inner works with maybe a spatula. Also started a raging sinus infection yesterday, apparently to complement the drippage down below. Happy period my ass. And yes, the Kotex tampons packaging strikes me as a bit whimsical. They ought to have a picture of a raging river being calmly contained by a good solid dam, maybe the slogan could be something like “When all you really need is flood prevention”. ---
**Author:** ![MrsMonkey](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/8e8cbc/32.png) [@MrsMonkey](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MrsMonkey)\ **Post date:** [November 18, 2005, 4:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/have-a-happy-period-tmi/331425/50 "2005-11-18T16:53:39Z")
> [@Susie Derkins](#): > > It just occurred to me that even this would be a better slogan for them. 😃😃😃 ---
**Author:** ![Motorgirl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/e36b37/32.png) [@Motorgirl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Motorgirl)\ **Post date:** [November 18, 2005, 8:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/have-a-happy-period-tmi/331425/51 "2005-11-18T20:50:25Z")
It’s totally possible to have a [happy period](http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/0811834409/103-7618546-6407867?v=glance&n=283155&s=books&v=glance) especially if you use the ice cream stickers to ward off cramps. ---
**Author:** ![Broomstick](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/broomstick/32/246_2.png) [@Broomstick](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Broomstick)\ **Post date:** [November 18, 2005, 8:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/have-a-happy-period-tmi/331425/52 "2005-11-18T20:55:52Z")
Can’t help but notice I’m not the only one who gets cramps during the not-so-happy periods. Something I tried recently with good success for me (YMMV) are these one-time-use stick-on heating pads. I find the heat goes a long way to reducing cramps, especially on those icy Chicago morning commutes we’re getting back into these days. I’m taking a lot less painkiller. On the downside, it does seem to increase the flow. I think I’ll just strap a bucket between my legs. ---
**Author:** ![InappropriateHumor](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/eb8c5e/32.png) [@InappropriateHumor](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/InappropriateHumor)\ **Post date:** [November 18, 2005, 9:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/have-a-happy-period-tmi/331425/53 "2005-11-18T21:20:21Z")
> [@Broomstick](#): > > Can’t help but notice I’m not the only one who gets cramps during the not-so-happy periods. > > Something I tried recently with good success for me (YMMV) are these one-time-use stick-on heating pads. I find the heat goes a long way to reducing cramps, especially on those icy Chicago morning commutes we’re getting back into these days. I’m taking a lot less painkiller. > > On the downside, it does seem to increase the flow. I think I’ll just strap a bucket between my legs. I’ve had some relief from ThermaCare Heatwraps. They’re good for 8 hours or so. Haven’t seen the stick-on heating pads yet, but now I’ll keep an eye out, thanks. Not sure I’d notice increased flow; ever since the tubal ligation I bleed like a hemophiliac on Cumadin. On second thought, maybe I’ll take that tip about the bucket, too… ---
**Author:** ![PinkNailFile](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/8491ac/32.png) [@PinkNailFile](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/PinkNailFile)\ **Post date:** [November 19, 2005, 4:29am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/have-a-happy-period-tmi/331425/54 "2005-11-19T04:29:30Z")
> [@Aangelica](#): > > For a while they were calling them the “teen” size, which just chapped my ass when I was a teen and needed the super some days. > > They could at least pick a size name that’s not associated with fat - I don’t want the notion of “super-size” and my cootchie associated, even in my own brain. Jumbo is right out too. This isn’t helped by my brother (who deserved the smacking he got), who one day when shopping for his wife picked up a box and said “wow I didn’t know you could supersize these! It’s just like fries!”). AAAAAAAAAAAAHAHAHAHAH. 😃 FUNNY! That is possibly the funniest thing I’ve heard all day. I am never going to be able to look at a tampon again without craving McDonald’s. Supersized tampons. Bwahahahaha. OK anyway. Having your period sucks. It’s not happy. It blows. Personally, my friendships detiorate around my period. I start snapping and it just hurts everyone and I apologize and they still feel hurt and they don’t understand I’m PMSing because they… choose to ignore it? I dunno. The point is, Always can Always Suck It. ---
**Author:** ![Telperien](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/65b543/32.png) [@Telperien](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Telperien)\ **Post date:** [November 19, 2005, 6:15am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/have-a-happy-period-tmi/331425/55 "2005-11-19T06:15:53Z")
There is a size beyond super plus in tampons–o.b. makes “ultra.” A boon, I say. I also rather like the connotation of ultra–beyond. Beyond normal bleeding. (though I don’t like the actual bleeding, no) Yes, we have that. (But why don’t they have those ultra ones in applicator type? Unfair!) Always is out unless I absolutely have to use them, due to the weirdness of their top layer. Stayfree has started making pads with a similar icky top layer, too, so I shun them. I’m left with Kotex, which are OK. Although I do rather like the idea of the Always “fat chick” pads, as my friend Georgie and I call them. Had to get one from her in an emergency and it performed as advertised. I bought a pack later and aside from the icky top layer, I thought they were about as good a period product as one could find. ---
**Author:** ![irishgirl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/8edcca/32.png) [@irishgirl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/irishgirl)\ **Post date:** [November 19, 2005, 11:13am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/have-a-happy-period-tmi/331425/56 "2005-11-19T11:13:42Z")
Hey, it’s period thread, I think it’s time for a menstrual cup link (oh yes it is!). > **[The DivaCup - A Better Period Experience | Easy To Use Menstrual Cup](https://divacup.com/)** > > The DivaCup offers up to 12 hours of leak-free protection, comfort and convenience. Enjoy a better period experience! Switch to The DivaCup today! > **[Home of the Original Menstrual Cup - The Keeper Inc./Moon Cup Co.](https://keeper.com/)** > > The Keeper Menstrual Cup is the most trusted & recognized name in the menstrual cup industry; manufacturing menstrual cups since 1987. [http://www.mooncup-info.com/](http://www.mooncup-info.com/) Really, seriously, the best products in the world for heavy, crampy periods. Don’t dismiss out of hand. ---
**Author:** ![A.R.Cane](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ee7513/32.png) [@A.R.Cane](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/A.R.Cane)\ **Post date:** [November 19, 2005, 11:22am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/have-a-happy-period-tmi/331425/57 "2005-11-19T11:22:59Z")
Old guy (w/ fingers stuck in ears) La, La, La, La, La, La, La, La, La, La, La, La, La, La, La, La, La, La… (just kidding) ---
**Author:** ![Susie\_Derkins](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/e47774/32.png) [@Susie\_Derkins](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Susie_Derkins)\ **Post date:** [November 19, 2005, 7:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/have-a-happy-period-tmi/331425/58 "2005-11-19T19:05:07Z")
**Motorgirl** , that is some funny stuff. I have to admit though, I was a little thrown by the brown thing on the rollercoaster. I think (hope?) that it is a chocolate bar. **irishgirl** , I have been toying with the idea of getting a DivaCup. I just worry that if a cup failed me, it would do so in a spectacular fashion. Is that ever an issue? ---
**Author:** ![Idlewild](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/8491ac/32.png) [@Idlewild](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Idlewild)\ **Post date:** [November 19, 2005, 7:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/have-a-happy-period-tmi/331425/59 "2005-11-19T19:22:27Z")
> [@Susie Derkins](#): > > **Motorgirl** , that is some funny stuff. I have to admit though, I was a little thrown by the brown thing on the rollercoaster. I think (hope?) that it is a chocolate bar. > > **irishgirl** , I have been toying with the idea of getting a DivaCup. I just worry that if a cup failed me, it would do so in a spectacular fashion. Is that ever an issue? I’m not **irishgirl** and this is way TMI but I used one of those wee cups, and managed to disloge it accidentally and it was very spectacularly messy. Never was comfortable using it after that. Everyone else’s mileage seems to vary and I’ve probably just got weird shaped innards. Or it didn’t go in right, though it felt like it was in place properly. **Pokey** is some kind of genius of marketing to actual women. 😃 I would so buy Xtreme tampons! ---
**Author:** ![irishgirl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/8edcca/32.png) [@irishgirl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/irishgirl)\ **Post date:** [November 21, 2005, 9:42am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/have-a-happy-period-tmi/331425/60 "2005-11-21T09:42:15Z")
**Susie Derkins** I’ve never, ever had a problem with my Mooncup (it’s the brand availabe here, but is essentially identical to Divacup). No leaks, no mess, it’s actually harder to feel than a tampon and it doesn’t make my cramps worse, the way that they can. Capacity isn’t a problem, as it holds over 30mls, way more than even a pad/tampon combo, I get away with emptying mine every 12-14 hours. The first few days I used it, I did keep checking and emptying, as I wasn’t at all convinced. Apart from needing a little adjustment now and then for comfort reasons due to my dodgy technique, it worked exactly like it said it would. TMI-well, strictly speaking, MORE TMI The trick is placement…you need to be able to feel your cervix. I find that if I set the rim so that it forms a seal around my cervix not only is it leak-proof, but also comfy. It takes a little effort to get it right, but since you only need do it twice a day in the privacy of your own home, it’s not a problem. The brilliant thing about them is that if you try it for 3 cycles and don’t like it, you get your money back. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/have-a-happy-period-tmi/331425.md?page=2) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/have-a-happy-period-tmi/331425.md?page=4)