I had some MLM drone (Herbalife instead of Amway but same tactics) actually try to recruit then insult me at work last year. I’m the lingerie dept. manager, the money ain’t great and it wasn’t what I wanted to do when I grow up, but it pays the bills, suits my ribald sense of humor, and I like my coworkers and gabbing with the customers. She was an unremarkable (at first) customer. So I help her find a suitable bra, ring her up, here you go, have a good day. Then the following exchange: (note: italics are what I wish I could get away with saying)
Herbalife drone: I just wanted to ask you…
me: the restroom’s one floor up in the housewares department.
HL drone: Are you satisfied with the direction your life is taking right now?
me: *Shit. Shitshitshitshitshitshitshitshittyshitshit. * Pretty much, yeah.
HL drone: (sounding chirpy and/or brainwashed) Well, what if I told you you could earn at least 3 times your current salary in less than half the time you spend here, from the comfort of your own home?
me: *I’d say I wasn’t born yesterday, dipshit. * (cheerfully dismissive) Oh, I like this job and housework’s a pain. (to nearby customer) Ma’am, can I help you find anything?
customer: No hurry, you finish up there first.
me: DAMMIT!
HL drone: (whips out brochure, still chirpy) This contains some very inspiring success stories from people who made…
me: No thank you, I’m not interested.
HL hag: (less chirpy, still determined)…their dreams come true by sharing our weight loss products with…
me: * Don’t make me jam a girdle down your windpipe, hag. * No thank you, I’m not interested. Take a hint already!
HL jackass: (whips out sample packs, snidely) Well, I’ll give you some samples of our products too, you could use them…
(I’m admittedly overweight but sure as hell not morbidly obese or anything)
customer: (loud gasp)
me: (reaching for phone) Wait just a moment until I get store security up here, because I don’t have to stand for personal insults.
customer: Yeah, you apologize to that young lady right now!
HL shithead: (ducks and slinks away)
coworker: (who had been watching from a safe distance, the chicken-livered coward. she is also less than 5’ tall and probably 95 pounds after a big dinner) I can’t believe she called you fat! I’d have punched her!
She did leave the brochure, though, which was shown around the floor and snickered at for daysbut despite the amusement value I have a rather dim view of these types of companies…