# Have any of you attempted auto fellatio? **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [January 31, 2006, 3:44am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/have-any-of-you-attempted-auto-fellatio/342310 "2006-01-31T03:44:42Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![SkeptiJess](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ea666f/32.png) [@SkeptiJess](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SkeptiJess)\ **Post date:** [January 31, 2006, 3:44am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/have-any-of-you-attempted-auto-fellatio/342310/1 "2006-01-31T03:44:42Z")
Not succeeded, necessarily. But, in a weak moment, have you _tried_? I just finished reading Paul Feig’s second memoir Superstud: or How I Became a 24-Year-Old Virgin. Very funny stuff. And one of the funniest chapters was about his attempt to blow his own horn (if you know what I mean). At the beginning of the chapter, Feig writes, “Maybe it’s because I feel the need to confess, in the hope that other guys will tell me that they too have done what I’m about to tell you I attempted at one point in my life…” And that started me thinking – _do_ a lot of guys try this? I know it’s _possible_ – my dad tells a fairly freaky story about coming into the berthing area of a ship he was on and finding a group of guys huddled around a rack in which a shipmate was successfully having his way with himself – but this is surely a pretty rare talent. But trying? Could be commoner, I’d think. So. Have any of you attempted this? Or do you know anyone else who has? ---
**Author:** ![scotandrsn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/a4c791/32.png) [@scotandrsn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/scotandrsn)\ **Post date:** [January 31, 2006, 3:49am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/have-any-of-you-attempted-auto-fellatio/342310/2 "2006-01-31T03:49:08Z")
Mmphttmmphted? ---
**Author:** ![Whifton\_Polekitty](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/97f17d/32.png) [@Whifton\_Polekitty](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Whifton_Polekitty)\ **Post date:** [January 31, 2006, 3:49am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/have-any-of-you-attempted-auto-fellatio/342310/3 "2006-01-31T03:49:50Z")
I’m certain that, if plied with enough alcohol, every male you’d ask this of would say “Sure, damn near broke my back, too!”. Add more alcohol and the stories involved would escalate to epic tales of adventure no doubt. Personally, I frequently have dreams about such an act, and then when I wake up I feel profoundly disappointed. ---
**Author:** ![Omniscient](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/omniscient/32/3290_2.png) [@Omniscient](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Omniscient)\ **Post date:** [January 31, 2006, 3:50am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/have-any-of-you-attempted-auto-fellatio/342310/4 "2006-01-31T03:50:54Z")
Um, ahhhhh… _wanders off_ ---
**Author:** ![Czarcasm](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/czarcasm/32/4050_2.png) [@Czarcasm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Czarcasm)\ **Post date:** [January 31, 2006, 3:53am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/have-any-of-you-attempted-auto-fellatio/342310/5 "2006-01-31T03:53:53Z")
> [@scotandrsn](#): > > Mmphttmmphted? Unless you’ve brought enough to share with the rest of the class, I want you to spit that out right now, young man! ---
**Author:** ![Queuing](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/q/90ced4/32.png) [@Queuing](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Queuing)\ **Post date:** [January 31, 2006, 4:01am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/have-any-of-you-attempted-auto-fellatio/342310/6 "2006-01-31T04:01:14Z")
I recently saw a show, called **Sin Cities** (its apparently british) where one of the Go-Go dancers on Ibiza did this as part of his act. His member was of impressive size, but flexibility was his true secret. He could actually get it in, not just lick the head. ---
**Author:** ![fishbicycle](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/aeb1de/32.png) [@fishbicycle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/fishbicycle)\ **Post date:** [January 31, 2006, 4:12am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/have-any-of-you-attempted-auto-fellatio/342310/7 "2006-01-31T04:12:47Z")
Hey, if I could do that, I’d never leave the house. ---
**Author:** ![ZebraShaSha](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/eada6e/32.png) [@ZebraShaSha](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ZebraShaSha)\ **Post date:** [January 31, 2006, 4:14am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/have-any-of-you-attempted-auto-fellatio/342310/8 "2006-01-31T04:14:32Z")
…No, I never have and almost certainly never will try. However, I do know of one poster one time who said something similar, expecting everyone would pat him on the back and say, “ah, yea man, in my days we called that college.” Instead, his revelation was met with blank posts, as everyone became confused, scared, or curious. Seems analogous, at least. ---
**Author:** ![Beware\_of\_Doug](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/278dde/32.png) [@Beware\_of\_Doug](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Beware_of_Doug)\ **Post date:** [January 31, 2006, 4:16am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/have-any-of-you-attempted-auto-fellatio/342310/9 "2006-01-31T04:16:23Z")
I’ve never found a car small enough to fit in my mouth. ---
**Author:** ![asterion](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/4da419/32.png) [@asterion](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/asterion)\ **Post date:** [January 31, 2006, 4:39am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/have-any-of-you-attempted-auto-fellatio/342310/10 "2006-01-31T04:39:32Z")
> [@Beware of Doug](#): > > I’ve never found a car small enough to fit in my mouth. I tried it once but I burned my lips on the tailpipe. ---
**Author:** ![zoogirl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/b9bd4f/32.png) [@zoogirl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/zoogirl)\ **Post date:** [January 31, 2006, 5:49am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/have-any-of-you-attempted-auto-fellatio/342310/11 "2006-01-31T05:49:45Z")
Og help me, but I gotta ask… Spit or swallow?! 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Feydeau](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/df788c/32.png) [@Feydeau](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Feydeau)\ **Post date:** [January 31, 2006, 6:08am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/have-any-of-you-attempted-auto-fellatio/342310/12 "2006-01-31T06:08:20Z")
When I was younger (15 or 16) I could successfully fellate myself. I was able to get a couple of inches in my mouth, and I swallowed. Good times, good times. (I’m heavier now, so I can’t contort in quite that same manner, but man, once I lose some weight…) ---
**Author:** ![betenoir](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/258eb7/32.png) [@betenoir](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/betenoir)\ **Post date:** [January 31, 2006, 9:48am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/have-any-of-you-attempted-auto-fellatio/342310/13 "2006-01-31T09:48:12Z")
> [@ZebraShaSha](#): > > Seems analogous, at least. No, to be analogous you have to bend in the opposite direction. ---
**Author:** ![Malacandra](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/45deac/32.png) [@Malacandra](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Malacandra)\ **Post date:** [January 31, 2006, 10:05am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/have-any-of-you-attempted-auto-fellatio/342310/14 "2006-01-31T10:05:17Z")
[old joke]Why do dogs lick their genitals? - Because they can[/old joke] I’ve dreamed about being able to, but in the real world, not a hope by a very long way. ---
**Author:** ![Silentgoldfish](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/e36b37/32.png) [@Silentgoldfish](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Silentgoldfish)\ **Post date:** [January 31, 2006, 12:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/have-any-of-you-attempted-auto-fellatio/342310/15 "2006-01-31T12:07:58Z")
Just to prove there’s a Bill Hicks quote for every occasion: “If guys were all flexible enough to blow themselves all you ladies here tonight would be here by yourselves… watching an empty stage.” ---
**Author:** ![matt](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/a6a055/32.png) [@matt](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/matt)\ **Post date:** [January 31, 2006, 12:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/have-any-of-you-attempted-auto-fellatio/342310/16 "2006-01-31T12:26:39Z")
> [@Jess](#): > > Not succeeded, necessarily. But, in a weak moment, have you _tried_? Certainly, why not? Doesn’t even require a weak moment. ---
**Author:** ![DrMemory](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/977dab/32.png) [@DrMemory](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DrMemory)\ **Post date:** [January 31, 2006, 2:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/have-any-of-you-attempted-auto-fellatio/342310/17 "2006-01-31T14:20:46Z")
Usta could, as a teen. Have since gotten older and less flexible. ---
**Author:** ![NurseCarmen](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/5daacb/32.png) [@NurseCarmen](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/NurseCarmen)\ **Post date:** [January 31, 2006, 2:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/have-any-of-you-attempted-auto-fellatio/342310/18 "2006-01-31T14:52:02Z")
The question should really be: Have any of you ever been a male teenager? My answer would of course be yes. ---
**Author:** ![LouisB](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/dfb087/32.png) [@LouisB](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/LouisB)\ **Post date:** [January 31, 2006, 2:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/have-any-of-you-attempted-auto-fellatio/342310/19 "2006-01-31T14:55:56Z")
One of my buddies could, did, and would happily demonstrate if asked to do so by a skeptic. IIRC, we were about thirteen at the time. His act was a real crowd pleaser. ---
**Author:** ![Inigo\_Montoya](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/inigo_montoya/32/124_2.png) [@Inigo\_Montoya](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Inigo_Montoya)\ **Post date:** [January 31, 2006, 3:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/have-any-of-you-attempted-auto-fellatio/342310/20 "2006-01-31T15:05:31Z")
I remember the old \*similar[/] thread as well. There was only one person who confessed to having the flexibility, and he acted completely disgusted and confused by the idea. Clearly, he had issues. [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/have-any-of-you-attempted-auto-fellatio/342310.md?page=2)