# Have anyoone here even been involved in an Interracial Affair? **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [March 1, 2004, 1:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/have-anyoone-here-even-been-involved-in-an-interracial-affair/231898 "2004-03-01T13:49:44Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Starguard](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/8dc957/32.png) [@Starguard](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Starguard)\ **Post date:** [March 1, 2004, 1:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/have-anyoone-here-even-been-involved-in-an-interracial-affair/231898/1 "2004-03-01T13:49:44Z")
Have you ever been (or still are) involved with someone outside of your race? How long did it last and what was it about your significant other that attracted you to them. ---
**Author:** ![Cartooniverse](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cartooniverse/32/3084_2.png) [@Cartooniverse](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cartooniverse)\ **Post date:** [March 1, 2004, 2:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/have-anyoone-here-even-been-involved-in-an-interracial-affair/231898/2 "2004-03-01T14:20:26Z")
I was in High School, and it was a fairly brief love affair. Bonnie was sparklingly intelligent, very funny and had eyes that made me want to stop being a gentleman and get serious with a spatula. ( What can I say, the movie “Stripes” was very important to those of us who were in High School in 1979… 😃 ). I’m wondering if your OP is hinting at posters saying what it was about the person in terms of it being risky or exotic or edge or dangerous in terms of family acceptance. My parents didn’t give a rat’s patootie about race issue, and so I didn’t think about that stuff. She didn’t turn me on any more or less because she was the only black girl I’d dated, I dug her because of who she was. I saw her in 1987, in a bar. She was clearly hooking, and clearly emaciated on cocaine. It was entirely heartbreaking and I’ve no clue if she’s alive. In fact, this thread makes me want to try to find out. Cartooniverse ---
**Author:** ![Paul\_in\_Qatar](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/ccd318/32.png) [@Paul\_in\_Qatar](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Paul_in_Qatar)\ **Post date:** [March 1, 2004, 2:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/have-anyoone-here-even-been-involved-in-an-interracial-affair/231898/3 "2004-03-01T14:39:15Z")
Yes, sixteen years in August. ---
**Author:** ![Dragon\_Phoenix](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/bcef8e/32.png) [@Dragon\_Phoenix](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dragon_Phoenix)\ **Post date:** [March 1, 2004, 2:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/have-anyoone-here-even-been-involved-in-an-interracial-affair/231898/4 "2004-03-01T14:44:51Z")
Five years in July. And planning to keep in that way. ---
**Author:** ![Dragon\_Phoenix](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/bcef8e/32.png) [@Dragon\_Phoenix](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dragon_Phoenix)\ **Post date:** [March 1, 2004, 2:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/have-anyoone-here-even-been-involved-in-an-interracial-affair/231898/5 "2004-03-01T14:45:55Z")
Heh - that could lead to misunderstanding. I of course mean that we plan to be together TDDUP. ---
**Author:** ![whiterabbit](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/cab0a1/32.png) [@whiterabbit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/whiterabbit)\ **Post date:** [March 1, 2004, 2:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/have-anyoone-here-even-been-involved-in-an-interracial-affair/231898/6 "2004-03-01T14:52:01Z")
Briefly, but it just didn’t work, for reasons that had nothing to do with skin color. It’s a shame, on paper we were perfect. My family wouldn’t have cared. The only person who would have died not long ago, and she was far too much of a lady to say anything anyway. I have the feeling my grandma would be thrilled. She’d be even happier if I brought home a girlfriend (no, really, she WOULD be) but that’s not gonna happen! ---
**Author:** ![Profane](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/e47774/32.png) [@Profane](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Profane)\ **Post date:** [March 1, 2004, 3:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/have-anyoone-here-even-been-involved-in-an-interracial-affair/231898/7 "2004-03-01T15:00:57Z")
My first serious boyfriend. I was attracted to him because he was really hot, and he wasn’t the kind of boy you want your parents to meet. Hey I was 16, IQ and sense of humour weren’t high on my list. It lasted a few months, and ended when I found out I wasn’t his only girlfriend. ---
**Author:** ![Kent\_Clark](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kent_clark/32/105_2.png) [@Kent\_Clark](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kent_Clark)\ **Post date:** [March 1, 2004, 3:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/have-anyoone-here-even-been-involved-in-an-interracial-affair/231898/8 "2004-03-01T15:01:44Z")
23 years so far. As the others have said, it didn’t have anything to do with her looks or racial characteristics. ---
**Author:** ![ZipperJJ](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/zipperjj/32/211_2.png) [@ZipperJJ](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ZipperJJ)\ **Post date:** [March 1, 2004, 4:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/have-anyoone-here-even-been-involved-in-an-interracial-affair/231898/9 "2004-03-01T16:19:12Z")
For about 8 months when I was 16. We met online (pre-GUIs) and I didn’t know he was black. It didn’t matter because he was the most wonderful guy I ever met. He is married now (to a white girl) and he’s still an amazing guy. I was forced to break up because of my parents. They, sadly, are racist. I tried to hide the relationship for a long time but it wasn’t easy. It ended up coming down to having to choose between him and my family. At 16, the choice isn’t easy but it is obvious what I needed at the time. I am so happy for him now, he’s got a wife he loves and he’ still the same guy I knew 8 years ago. It took me a very long time to get over him, and I know it took him a long time to get over me having to say “I can’t see you because of the color of your skin.” It makes me feel like dirt. ---
**Author:** ![Balthisar](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/balthisar/32/2825_2.png) [@Balthisar](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Balthisar)\ **Post date:** [March 1, 2004, 4:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/have-anyoone-here-even-been-involved-in-an-interracial-affair/231898/10 "2004-03-01T16:23:21Z")
Officially 3 years on Feb. 10th. Although depending on which part of the country you’re in, it’s not interracial. I’d say so, though. ---
**Author:** ![alimarx](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/e274bd/32.png) [@alimarx](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/alimarx)\ **Post date:** [March 1, 2004, 4:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/have-anyoone-here-even-been-involved-in-an-interracial-affair/231898/11 "2004-03-01T16:26:34Z")
I’ve had several interracial relationships, including my current of six years (just married in December). I’ll admit it: looks and racial characteristics had a LOT to do with it! I mean, c’mon, physical attraction is a very important part of any relationship, at least in the beginning. Whether or not that particular relationship lasted had nothing to do with race (never a prob with 'rents or friends), just compatability, and who they were on the inside (as with any relationship). Not sure why, but I just don’t find women of my own race particularly attractive. ---
**Author:** ![Chefguy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/chefguy/32/138_2.png) [@Chefguy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chefguy)\ **Post date:** [March 1, 2004, 5:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/have-anyoone-here-even-been-involved-in-an-interracial-affair/231898/12 "2004-03-01T17:55:07Z")
Yes! Two Latinas: one Puerto Rican, the other Nicaraguan, both gorgeous and passionate. I’ll admit that at that age it was mostly a factor of having a perpetual hard-on and willing partners, but I find brown-skinned women to be irresistable. Oh, and there was a Canadian woman; everyone knows that Canadians are a different race, and possible even a different species alltogether. ---
**Author:** ![TheJungOnes](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/cab0a1/32.png) [@TheJungOnes](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TheJungOnes)\ **Post date:** [March 1, 2004, 6:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/have-anyoone-here-even-been-involved-in-an-interracial-affair/231898/13 "2004-03-01T18:20:31Z")
We will have been married 1 year in May. I went to middle and high school in a largely Latino area. I admired the Latinas (especially the “Cholas”) in high school, but they would not give this skinny white guy the time of day. Years later I found one that would and I married her. ---
**Author:** ![Mister\_Rik](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mister_rik/32/491_2.png) [@Mister\_Rik](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mister_Rik)\ **Post date:** [March 1, 2004, 6:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/have-anyoone-here-even-been-involved-in-an-interracial-affair/231898/14 "2004-03-01T18:21:27Z")
I’m a big fan of non-white women. I think a lot of Mexican women are gorgeous. I came close to a relationship with a Mexican woman a few years ago, but unfortunately it didn’t work out, due to the language barrier. She spoke almost no English, and I don’t think she realized that I speak almost no Spanish. She was asking me a question in Spanish one day, and when I shook my head to indicate that I didn’t understand, she got very embarrassed, said, “I’m sorry” several times and then hurried away. I was really puzzled until I asked related the incident to a mutual friend (her boss), a bilingual Mexican-American. It turns out that she was asking if she could be my girlfriend. I guess she took my head-shaking to mean “no”. ☹ I’m currently drooling over a beautiful young black woman I see on the bus all the time. It’s not that I’m specifically attracted to women because they’re not white - I think it’s more that I’ve had so many unhappy experiences with white women. I could be looking more for women who have a different cultural outlook. (i.e. more interested in who I am, than in what kind of car I drive). ---
**Author:** ![gooti](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/eb8c5e/32.png) [@gooti](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/gooti)\ **Post date:** [March 1, 2004, 6:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/have-anyoone-here-even-been-involved-in-an-interracial-affair/231898/15 "2004-03-01T18:24:53Z")
**mouthbreather** and I have been together almost 8 years (we just got married in October. He’s white; I’m black). He never really dated anyone before we started dating. And I had had several IRs from my senior year of high school until we met. As far as _physical_ “racial characteristics,” I really don’t have a preference. A good-looking man is a good-looking man, period. I think with me it’s more of a cultural thing…especially relating to the type of humor I have and the things I’m interested in (i.e. types of music, etc). I’ve just always “hit it off” better with white guys than black. ---
**Author:** ![TitoBenito](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/2acd7d/32.png) [@TitoBenito](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TitoBenito)\ **Post date:** [March 1, 2004, 6:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/have-anyoone-here-even-been-involved-in-an-interracial-affair/231898/16 "2004-03-01T18:46:20Z")
Yes. It will be five years when we get married this fall. I was attracted to her initially because she was and still is attractive and we had a lot in common. ---
**Author:** ![badmana](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/977dab/32.png) [@badmana](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/badmana)\ **Post date:** [March 1, 2004, 7:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/have-anyoone-here-even-been-involved-in-an-interracial-affair/231898/17 "2004-03-01T19:09:36Z")
Should this be in GQ? I’m currently in a “mixed race” relationship. I’m 100% Japanese and she’s 100% Bulgarian. Best friends turned lovers and all that. No problems to report. Both families get along with us and I’ve never had any problems with strangers. Race never mattered to me or my parents (somewhat the same with hers) and so I never thought about the implications about a relationship between me and her. Of course, as a typical horny male, I wasn’t exactly looking at her skin colour when we started getting serious 😃 ---
**Author:** ![mailman](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/8491ac/32.png) [@mailman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/mailman)\ **Post date:** [March 1, 2004, 7:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/have-anyoone-here-even-been-involved-in-an-interracial-affair/231898/18 "2004-03-01T19:16:37Z")
My first girlfriend was black. We were 14, in a few classes together and just hit it off. My parents were mortified, as was her mother [she still scares me], so things were not easy. Real early on we realized that we liked each other too much to get stressed out about it; so we became “just friends.” Parental units relaxed to some degree, and we remain friends to this day. We both married spouses of our own race, had kids, and talk/email on a pretty infrequent basis. I can’t really blame the parents involved, since we hid pretty much everything from them, but they did what they could to discourage the relationship. I was attracted by everything about her–looks, sense of humor, laugh, peer group, you name it. ---
**Author:** ![John\_Kentzel-Griffin](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/ccd318/32.png) [@John\_Kentzel-Griffin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/John_Kentzel-Griffin)\ **Post date:** [March 1, 2004, 7:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/have-anyoone-here-even-been-involved-in-an-interracial-affair/231898/19 "2004-03-01T19:17:45Z")
General Questions is for questions with factual answers. IMHO is for opinions and polls. I’ll move this to IMHO for you. **DrMatrix** - GQ Moderator ---
**Author:** ![Anaamika](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/5f9b8f/32.png) [@Anaamika](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Anaamika)\ **Post date:** [March 1, 2004, 7:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/have-anyoone-here-even-been-involved-in-an-interracial-affair/231898/20 "2004-03-01T19:26:24Z")
Yeah seven years come April. My parents don’t like him, his parents love me. [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/have-anyoone-here-even-been-involved-in-an-interracial-affair/231898.md?page=2)