# Have Clog Boy translate your favourite insult to Dutch! **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [April 10, 2000, 11:35am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/have-clog-boy-translate-your-favourite-insult-to-dutch/15793 "2000-04-10T11:35:00Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Coldfire](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/a587f6/32.png) [@Coldfire](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Coldfire)\ **Post date:** [April 10, 2000, 11:35am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/have-clog-boy-translate-your-favourite-insult-to-dutch/15793/1 "2000-04-10T11:35:00Z")
Yes, that’s right folks. Come and get it. As I promised Neuro in some Pit thread I forget right now, I’m hereby opening the Official Coldfire EN-DU Insult Translation Booth. Translations will be provided with the correct pronunciation. Since Neuro set me up to it, she’ll be getting the first five insults for free. The rest of y’all will owe me one eternally for every translated insult. Fire away, and I shall return fire in Dutch! (Euty: Dutch insults are usually very polite and hardly contain profanities. However, given the foul nature of the English language, this might actually become a rather iffy topic for MPSIMS. You are of course free to move this baby to the Pit if necessary.) * * * **Defect borg: _“Refutile is sistance. Your ass will be simulated”._** * * * **WallyM7** on Coldfire: _ **"Yeah, he knows a little about everything because they have a good prison library."** _ ---
**Author:** ![meek](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/ce73a5/32.png) [@meek](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/meek)\ **Post date:** [April 10, 2000, 11:37am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/have-clog-boy-translate-your-favourite-insult-to-dutch/15793/2 "2000-04-10T11:37:00Z")
Ok - I’ll bite… Translate: Smart as a bowl of hair. Thanks. * * * Take care. ---
**Author:** ![Coldfire](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/a587f6/32.png) [@Coldfire](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Coldfire)\ **Post date:** [April 10, 2000, 11:42am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/have-clog-boy-translate-your-favourite-insult-to-dutch/15793/3 "2000-04-10T11:42:00Z")
> [@](#): > > Smart as a bowl of hair. Zo slim als een schaal met haar. “zow slim olls un scháál mit háár” The “sch” sound is very hard to pronounce though. I don’t know any English speaker that has mastered it properly. ---
**Author:** ![meek](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/ce73a5/32.png) [@meek](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/meek)\ **Post date:** [April 10, 2000, 11:45am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/have-clog-boy-translate-your-favourite-insult-to-dutch/15793/4 "2000-04-10T11:45:00Z")
Thanks. * * * Zo slim als een schaal met haar. ---
**Author:** ![WallyM7](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/b5e925/32.png) [@WallyM7](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/WallyM7)\ **Post date:** [April 10, 2000, 11:46am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/have-clog-boy-translate-your-favourite-insult-to-dutch/15793/5 "2000-04-10T11:46:00Z")
Somebody dipped Bj0rn into the stupid pot. Twice. ---
**Author:** ![Coldfire](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/a587f6/32.png) [@Coldfire](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Coldfire)\ **Post date:** [April 10, 2000, 11:49am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/have-clog-boy-translate-your-favourite-insult-to-dutch/15793/6 "2000-04-10T11:49:00Z")
> [@](#): > > Somebody dipped Bj0rn into the stupid pot. Twice. Iemand heeft bj0rn in de idiotenpot laten vallen. Twee keer. “Eemund hafe-t bj0rn in du eedeeyo-tun-pot látun vallun. Tway kirr.” ---
**Author:** ![WallyM7](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/b5e925/32.png) [@WallyM7](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/WallyM7)\ **Post date:** [April 10, 2000, 11:51am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/have-clog-boy-translate-your-favourite-insult-to-dutch/15793/7 "2000-04-10T11:51:00Z")
Thanks, Coldy. ---
**Author:** ![meek](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/ce73a5/32.png) [@meek](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/meek)\ **Post date:** [April 10, 2000, 11:52am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/have-clog-boy-translate-your-favourite-insult-to-dutch/15793/8 "2000-04-10T11:52:00Z")
“As sharp as a pound of wet liver” ---
**Author:** ![Coldfire](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/a587f6/32.png) [@Coldfire](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Coldfire)\ **Post date:** [April 10, 2000, 11:54am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/have-clog-boy-translate-your-favourite-insult-to-dutch/15793/9 "2000-04-10T11:54:00Z")
> [@](#): > > “As sharp as a pound of wet liver” Zo scherp als een pond natte lever. “Zow scherp àls un pônd nàttu layvir.” ---
**Author:** ![Mullinator](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/c2a13f/32.png) [@Mullinator](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mullinator)\ **Post date:** [April 10, 2000, 12:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/have-clog-boy-translate-your-favourite-insult-to-dutch/15793/10 "2000-04-10T12:13:00Z")
Coldfire, You rock. And amazingly, even though it is a Monday morning, I am getting sick, and I have to compute sales & use taxes all day for my company, I am in a pretty splendid mood. I don’t require an insult translation. If Mr. Socko keeps up his shenanigans, I will be back. * * * We went right out there and refused to do accoustical versions of the electrical songs that we had refused to record in the first place. ---
**Author:** ![SwimmingRiddles](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/43a26b/32.png) [@SwimmingRiddles](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SwimmingRiddles)\ **Post date:** [April 10, 2000, 12:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/have-clog-boy-translate-your-favourite-insult-to-dutch/15793/11 "2000-04-10T12:36:00Z")
I was friends with a Dutch exchange student in high school, who would regularly scream: “If ONE more person asks me if it’s true that prostitution/pot/anything else is legal in my country, I’ll…” “You’ll what?” “I’ll not answer them!” She rocked. Anyway, I got her to tell me what “You are a monkey-face” in Dutch is, but I forgot. I learned that phrase in Indonesian, along with a few choice phrases. (phonetically: Kamu barrrr-mooka mon-yet). * * * * * * I’m waiting for my Wally quote. ---
**Author:** ![Coldfire](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/a587f6/32.png) [@Coldfire](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Coldfire)\ **Post date:** [April 10, 2000, 12:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/have-clog-boy-translate-your-favourite-insult-to-dutch/15793/12 "2000-04-10T12:40:00Z")
> [@](#): > > Originally posted by SwimmingRiddles: > “You are a monkey-face”\*\* Je bent een apekop! “Yu bent un áápu-kop!” That’s quite an archaic one, though. ---
**Author:** ![aha](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/eada6e/32.png) [@aha](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/aha)\ **Post date:** [April 10, 2000, 12:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/have-clog-boy-translate-your-favourite-insult-to-dutch/15793/13 "2000-04-10T12:44:00Z")
Ok Coldy here is one to translate, Mr socko is a cheeky monkey * * * I Don’t Know Whether To Kill Myself Or Go Bowling. _famous C&W song_ Yours truly, aha ---
**Author:** ![NickyLarson](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/b2d939/32.png) [@NickyLarson](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/NickyLarson)\ **Post date:** [April 10, 2000, 1:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/have-clog-boy-translate-your-favourite-insult-to-dutch/15793/14 "2000-04-10T13:35:00Z")
My turn. “He hasn’t got his head TOO far up his ass.” * * * You’d think that Superman would be a good person to invite to a barbecue but trust me, he’s not. I mean, sure he can cook the hot dogs fast with his heat vision, but they all taste of charred eye boogers. ---
**Author:** ![Flypsyde](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/f0a364/32.png) [@Flypsyde](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Flypsyde)\ **Post date:** [April 10, 2000, 1:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/have-clog-boy-translate-your-favourite-insult-to-dutch/15793/15 "2000-04-10T13:37:00Z")
Fuckwaffle. Just for you, Cold. * * * Battles are won in nuance. ---
**Author:** ![Coldfire](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/a587f6/32.png) [@Coldfire](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Coldfire)\ **Post date:** [April 10, 2000, 1:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/have-clog-boy-translate-your-favourite-insult-to-dutch/15793/16 "2000-04-10T13:40:00Z")
> [@](#): > > Originally posted by aha: > Mr socko is a cheeky monkey Meneer Sokje is een brutaal aapje. “Mun-ir Sôk-yu is un brew-táál áápju” ---
**Author:** ![Coldfire](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/a587f6/32.png) [@Coldfire](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Coldfire)\ **Post date:** [April 10, 2000, 1:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/have-clog-boy-translate-your-favourite-insult-to-dutch/15793/17 "2000-04-10T13:42:00Z")
> [@](#): > > Originally posted by NickyLarson: > “He hasn’t got his head TOO far up his ass.” Hij heeft zijn kop niet TE ver in zijn reet zitten. “Hi hafe-t zááy-n kôp neet TÛ vèr in zááy-n rate zittun.” ---
**Author:** ![Coldfire](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/a587f6/32.png) [@Coldfire](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Coldfire)\ **Post date:** [April 10, 2000, 1:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/have-clog-boy-translate-your-favourite-insult-to-dutch/15793/18 "2000-04-10T13:43:00Z")
> [@](#): > > Originally posted by Flypsyde: > Fuckwaffle Neukwafel. “Nóó-k wáá-ful” My fave so far 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Squee](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ba9def/32.png) [@Squee](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Squee)\ **Post date:** [April 10, 2000, 1:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/have-clog-boy-translate-your-favourite-insult-to-dutch/15793/19 "2000-04-10T13:49:00Z")
Alright CF: “Please remove your penis from my mountain goat” 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![Coldfire](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/a587f6/32.png) [@Coldfire](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Coldfire)\ **Post date:** [April 10, 2000, 1:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/have-clog-boy-translate-your-favourite-insult-to-dutch/15793/20 "2000-04-10T13:54:00Z")
> [@](#): > > Originally posted by Squee: > “Please remove your penis from my mountain goat” Wilt u alstublieft uw penis uit mijn berggeit halen? “Wilt úú àls-túú-blee-ft úúw pay-nis úît mááy-n bèrg-gay-t háálun?” WTF??? 😉 [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/have-clog-boy-translate-your-favourite-insult-to-dutch/15793.md?page=2)