# Have Clog Boy translate your favourite insult to Dutch! **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [April 10, 2000, 11:35am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/have-clog-boy-translate-your-favourite-insult-to-dutch/15793 "2000-04-10T11:35:00Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![NickyLarson](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/b2d939/32.png) [@NickyLarson](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/NickyLarson)\ **Post date:** [April 10, 2000, 1:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/have-clog-boy-translate-your-favourite-insult-to-dutch/15793/21 "2000-04-10T13:57:00Z")
Danke Schoen, Coldfire! * * * You’d think that Superman would be a good person to invite to a barbecue but trust me, he’s not. I mean, sure he can cook the hot dogs fast with his heat vision, but they all taste of charred eye boogers. ---
**Author:** ![SqrlCub](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ea5d25/32.png) [@SqrlCub](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SqrlCub)\ **Post date:** [April 10, 2000, 1:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/have-clog-boy-translate-your-favourite-insult-to-dutch/15793/22 "2000-04-10T13:57:00Z")
My favourite insult that I made up for girls is as follows: Shut-up! You putrid producer of human caviar! For boys: Shut-up! You flatulant flinger of hillbilly ejaculate! HUGS to you Coldfire! Sqrl * * * [SqrlCub’s Arizona Adventure](http://boards.straightdope.com/ubb/Forum4/HTML/005351.html) ---
**Author:** ![Coldfire](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/a587f6/32.png) [@Coldfire](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Coldfire)\ **Post date:** [April 10, 2000, 2:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/have-clog-boy-translate-your-favourite-insult-to-dutch/15793/23 "2000-04-10T14:05:00Z")
> [@](#): > > Originally posted by SqrlCub: > Shut-up! You putrid producer of human caviar! Hou je bek! Jij gore producent van menselijke kaviaar! “How jû bèk! Yááy gore-û pro-dúú-cent vôn men-suh-luh-kuh kà-vee-yáár!” > [@](#): > > You flatulant flinger of hillbilly ejaculate! Jij ruftende boerenzaadverslingeraar! “Yááy rùf-tun-du booh-rùn-záád-vursling-uh-ráár!” OK, that last word is completely made up since there is no such thing as a Hillbilly in Holland. It literally would translate into “Farmers Semen Slinger” 😃 ---
**Author:** ![SqrlCub](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ea5d25/32.png) [@SqrlCub](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SqrlCub)\ **Post date:** [April 10, 2000, 2:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/have-clog-boy-translate-your-favourite-insult-to-dutch/15793/24 "2000-04-10T14:08:00Z")
Jij ruftende boerenzaadverslingeraar! hehheheh… I would like to throw that last word into a search engine and see what I can come up with. I bet it would find some pretty unusual porn sites. 🙂 You Rock, Coldfire! HUGS! Sqrl * * * [SqrlCub’s Arizona Adventure](http://boards.straightdope.com/ubb/Forum4/HTML/005351.html) ---
**Author:** ![Coldfire](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/a587f6/32.png) [@Coldfire](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Coldfire)\ **Post date:** [April 10, 2000, 2:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/have-clog-boy-translate-your-favourite-insult-to-dutch/15793/25 "2000-04-10T14:11:00Z")
No hits on Altavista… as I said, I made it up 😉 ---
**Author:** ![danielnsmith](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/c89c15/32.png) [@danielnsmith](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/danielnsmith)\ **Post date:** [April 10, 2000, 2:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/have-clog-boy-translate-your-favourite-insult-to-dutch/15793/26 "2000-04-10T14:50:00Z")
Coldfire, could you please translate the following: Take a flying leap at a rolling donut! and: You’re a few bricks short of a chimeny! Thanks ---
**Author:** ![Satan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/e9bcb4/32.png) [@Satan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Satan)\ **Post date:** [April 10, 2000, 3:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/have-clog-boy-translate-your-favourite-insult-to-dutch/15793/27 "2000-04-10T15:36:00Z")
Lick my bag. * * * Yer pal, Satan ---
**Author:** ![Coldfire](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/a587f6/32.png) [@Coldfire](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Coldfire)\ **Post date:** [April 10, 2000, 3:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/have-clog-boy-translate-your-favourite-insult-to-dutch/15793/28 "2000-04-10T15:44:00Z")
> [@](#): > > Originally posted by danielnsmith: > Take a flying leap at a rolling donut! Spring vliegend naar een rollende donut! “Spring vlee-gunt náár un roll-unde donut!” > [@](#): > > You’re a few bricks short of a chimeny! Voor een schoorsteen kom je een paar bakstenen te kort! “Vore un schore-stain kôm ju un páár bàkstain-un tu kôrt!” ---
**Author:** ![Coldfire](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/a587f6/32.png) [@Coldfire](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Coldfire)\ **Post date:** [April 10, 2000, 3:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/have-clog-boy-translate-your-favourite-insult-to-dutch/15793/29 "2000-04-10T15:46:00Z")
> [@](#): > > Originally posted by Satan: > \*\*Lick my bag. > \*\* Ah… the always Eloquent Dark One 😉 Lik mijn zak. “lik mine zàk.” ---
**Author:** ![Seraphim](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ad7895/32.png) [@Seraphim](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Seraphim)\ **Post date:** [April 10, 2000, 4:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/have-clog-boy-translate-your-favourite-insult-to-dutch/15793/30 "2000-04-10T16:22:00Z")
How about this one? Get off my back, you tulip-picking windmill fucker! ---
**Author:** ![Kamino\_Neko](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kamino_neko/32/34_2.png) [@Kamino\_Neko](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kamino_Neko)\ **Post date:** [April 10, 2000, 4:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/have-clog-boy-translate-your-favourite-insult-to-dutch/15793/31 "2000-04-10T16:48:00Z")
You’re a slice short of a loaf, a joker short of a full deck, a coffin short of a funeral, and about 3 bits short of a byte. (I really _must_ use that one.) * * * _Eschew Obfuscation_ ---
**Author:** ![Satan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/e9bcb4/32.png) [@Satan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Satan)\ **Post date:** [April 11, 2000, 5:05am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/have-clog-boy-translate-your-favourite-insult-to-dutch/15793/32 "2000-04-11T05:05:00Z")
Well, thanks Coldfire, but I wasn’t asking for a translation. I was just saying, “Lick my bag.” * * * Yer pal, Satan ---
**Author:** ![Satan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/e9bcb4/32.png) [@Satan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Satan)\ **Post date:** [April 11, 2000, 5:07am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/have-clog-boy-translate-your-favourite-insult-to-dutch/15793/33 "2000-04-11T05:07:00Z")
You sir, are nothing but walking anal leakage. This time, I’m looking for a translation… 😃 * * * Yer pal, Satan ---
**Author:** ![Andy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/aeb1de/32.png) [@Andy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Andy)\ **Post date:** [April 11, 2000, 5:09am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/have-clog-boy-translate-your-favourite-insult-to-dutch/15793/34 "2000-04-11T05:09:00Z")
How about ‘You can stick your total football up your arse’?. Or maybe ‘4-1’. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Rysdad](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/7cd45c/32.png) [@Rysdad](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rysdad)\ **Post date:** [April 11, 2000, 5:55am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/have-clog-boy-translate-your-favourite-insult-to-dutch/15793/35 "2000-04-11T05:55:00Z")
Two translations please: 1. Kiss me on the fat part of my ass! 2. Why don’t run along and play hide and go fuck yourself? Thanks, Clogster. * * * This is getting hard. Somebody relieve me. (A Wallian exclamation) ---
**Author:** ![Gazelle](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/b4bc9f/32.png) [@Gazelle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gazelle)\ **Post date:** [April 10, 2000, 7:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/have-clog-boy-translate-your-favourite-insult-to-dutch/15793/36 "2000-04-10T19:08:00Z")
Oooh oooh! How does one say, “Suck my ass” in Dutch? Big love to ya, **Coldy**! * * * You have the right to remain silent. Anything you say will be misquoted, then used against you. With love from the poster voted as having the **"Most Confusing Username"** ---
**Author:** ![phouka](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/c5a1d2/32.png) [@phouka](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/phouka)\ **Post date:** [April 10, 2000, 7:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/have-clog-boy-translate-your-favourite-insult-to-dutch/15793/37 "2000-04-10T19:16:00Z")
Hmmm, here’s one I used at work, recently: “Fuck off you cum burping, corporate whore and let me pee in peace.” Acknowledgements, of course, to PLDennison. ---
**Author:** ![tracer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tracer/32/20578_2.png) [@tracer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tracer)\ **Post date:** [April 10, 2000, 7:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/have-clog-boy-translate-your-favourite-insult-to-dutch/15793/38 "2000-04-10T19:56:00Z")
That sounds somewhat reminiscent of “sperm-burping gutter slut.” _sigh_ I miss _The Dysfunctional Family Circus._ ---
**Author:** ![WhiteNight](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/b38774/32.png) [@WhiteNight](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/WhiteNight)\ **Post date:** [April 10, 2000, 8:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/have-clog-boy-translate-your-favourite-insult-to-dutch/15793/39 "2000-04-10T20:22:00Z")
A friend of mine desires to have “Fuck them, if they can’t take a joke!” translated into six different languages. Being that English is one, we could assume we only need five more. So, Coldfire, could you please tell me what “Fuck 'em if they can’t take a joke!” translates into in Dutch? Thanks. And, anyone else able to translate it into something else is hereby requested to do so. ---
**Author:** ![Surgoshan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/e95f7d/32.png) [@Surgoshan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Surgoshan)\ **Post date:** [April 10, 2000, 8:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/have-clog-boy-translate-your-favourite-insult-to-dutch/15793/40 "2000-04-10T20:44:00Z")
Hmm. “What in the sweet name of holy fuck is wrong with you? Will you please stop making noises with your mouth? You seriously annoy me. In fact, I’m beginning to progress into a stage of annoyance the likes of which the world has never seen before. QUAIL BEFORE ITS AWESOME GLORY! THIS ANNOYANCE IS BEYOND ALL! BEHOLD, HE IS RISEN!” Translation please. * * * I sold my soul to Satan for a dollar. I got it in the mail. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/have-clog-boy-translate-your-favourite-insult-to-dutch/15793.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/have-clog-boy-translate-your-favourite-insult-to-dutch/15793.md?page=3)