# Have to enter a talent show. Have no talent....

**URL:** https://boards.straightdope.com/t/have-to-enter-a-talent-show-have-no-talent/535781
**Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share
**Created:** [April 11, 2010, 10:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/have-to-enter-a-talent-show-have-no-talent/535781 "2010-04-11T22:59:00Z")
**Posts on this page:** 4
**Page:** 2

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### Author: ![Spectre\_of\_Pithecanthropus](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/spectre_of_pithecanthropus/32/12343_2.png) [@Spectre\_of\_Pithecanthropus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Spectre_of_Pithecanthropus)
#### Post date: [April 15, 2010, 10:18am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/have-to-enter-a-talent-show-have-no-talent/535781/21 "2010-04-15T10:18:55Z")

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And here I sit, with all this talent, and I never get asked. How ironic life is! 😃

OK, all kidding aside, I have two words for you.

NIAGARA FALLS!

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### Author: ![Zebra](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/c0e974/32.png) [@Zebra](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Zebra)
#### Post date: [April 15, 2010, 5:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/have-to-enter-a-talent-show-have-no-talent/535781/22 "2010-04-15T17:20:26Z")

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[![]( " - YouTube") ](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=C570byQCLpI)

Do this.

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### Author: ![Chimera](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/8e8cbc/32.png) [@Chimera](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chimera)
#### Post date: [April 15, 2010, 5:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/have-to-enter-a-talent-show-have-no-talent/535781/23 "2010-04-15T17:25:07Z")

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Sing really badly.

Then say “I had to enter. I didn’t have to win.”

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### Author: ![HeyHomie](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/heyhomie/32/207_2.png) [@HeyHomie](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/HeyHomie)
#### Post date: [April 15, 2010, 6:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/have-to-enter-a-talent-show-have-no-talent/535781/24 "2010-04-15T18:46:01Z")

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Open with this.

“It’s so great to be here! I’ve _always_ wanted to be a stand-up comedian… Well that’s not entirely true. I wanted to be a gold prospector, but that didn’t pan out.” [http://www.instantrimshot.com](http://www.instantrimshot.com)

Then have a volunteer (or a plant) come up from the audience.

YOU: So, what’s your favorite sports team?

THEM: [whatever they answer]

YOU: I’m sorry?

THEM: [repeats first answer louder and more clearly]

YOU: I heard you, I’m just sorry. [http://www.instantrimsot.com](http://www.instantrimsot.com)

Then have another volunteer (or plant) come up from the audience.

YOU: So, have you ever been out of the country?

THEM: [whatever they answer]

YOU: Well that’s great. I’ve actually been to Italy. I even know a little Italian… His name is Mario, and he’s nine years old. [http://www.instantrimshot.com](http://www.instantrimshot.com)

Then say “You’ve been a great audience. Thank you, good night.”

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