You are not alone in absolute terror and misery - I can join you in that.
I had an MRI about five years ago for a hump on my back, and I was not told anything at all about what to expect. I lay on the stretcher and alarm bells began to ring when the technician strapped my arms down. When he started to feed me into the tube, I had only got about my head and shoulders in when I panicked. I asked him to get me out, and he didn’t move fast enough, so I kicked him hard, ripped off the straps and wriggled out myself.
I am sweating as I type this…
After I got out, I was horrified by what I had done, and apologised endlessly. He wasn’t bothered, he said there is a percentage of people that can’t take MRIs, and I was just one of them. He sent me up to the doctor again for another idea on how to scan the lump.
What finished the whole thing for me was that upon getting back to the doctor, when I was just about over the shaking and embarassment, he laughed at me. I mean really sneered, and laughed. I felt like a worm.
In the end they did a CAT scan but it was about on the level of what I could take, and by then I cordially hated everyone in the hospital, and my stress levels beforehand were ridiculous. And the lump turned out to be fat, giving the Dr another chance to sneer and riducule me when I went back for the results…
This all took place in Japan, where pain relief, or tranquillisers etc are very hard to pry out of medical staff. I worry so much that if I ever need another one, I don’t know what I would do. I think a tranquilliser would just make me woozy and incapable of expressing my panic. Nothing short of a promise of a general anaesthetic would make me agree to one again.
Since that time, I am severely claustrophobic. I cannot sleep in my bedroom with the door closed, and panicked on a crowded elevator. I have bad night terrors, usually involving screaming and running from some frightening thing. The first time my husband tried to restrain me I decked him, so now he lets me run and attempts to keep up and get all the light on. (Poor guy!) I really was not a nut case before that dammned MRI!
So no, you are not the only one…
(BTW, aside from this incident and one very nasty run-in with a psychopath for an OB/GYN, I have had nothing but kind, professional, seriously kind and helpful medical staff in Japan. Between them they have saved my sight, my life and the life of my baby, so this is not a blanket damning of medical care in Japan!)