# Have you continued your relationship with an extremely jealous partner? **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [July 7, 2016, 2:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/have-you-continued-your-relationship-with-an-extremely-jealous-partner/759309 "2016-07-07T14:00:53Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 11\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Omar\_Little](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/omar_little/32/269_2.png) [@Omar\_Little](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Omar_Little)\ **Post date:** [July 7, 2016, 2:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/have-you-continued-your-relationship-with-an-extremely-jealous-partner/759309/1 "2016-07-07T14:00:53Z")
Seems like there are consistent themes in threads about relationships, the jealous partner. And when I mean jealous, I mean overly insecure jealousy. Examples include: - not having friends of the opposite sex - not having lunch with a co-worker of the opposite sex - having to explain every FB friend you have of the opposite sex - having to give your partner access to your email account - having to account for your whereabouts at all times to your partner basically no trust from your partner. Who has continued in a relationship with these soul suckers and is willing to talk about it. Fortunately, I’ve never continued any type of relationship with anyone that showed signs of these types of behavior, so I don’t know what it would be like to stay with someone like this. I have had friends and family members that have, and I’m clueless as to why they would stay. ---
**Author:** ![RickJay](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/bb73d2/32.png) [@RickJay](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RickJay)\ **Post date:** [July 7, 2016, 2:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/have-you-continued-your-relationship-with-an-extremely-jealous-partner/759309/2 "2016-07-07T14:11:30Z")
My wife is jealous. And for no reason, I hasten to add. I am loyal, and also ugly. (She has terrible eyesight, which explains the disparity in attractiveness.) It’s abated with time, though; she’s getting better about it. So I’m fine with her being irrationally jealous and insecure from time to time because I know she’s conscious of it and is working on it, and just as it’s not as bad as it was a year ago, it will likely be better still a year from now. I am working on what I do poorly as well. It’s easier to accept such things when you know your partner is aware of it and is trying to improve. If someone just refused to stop being crazy jealous, yeah, that’d kill things eventually. ---
**Author:** ![Cazzle](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cazzle/32/75_2.png) [@Cazzle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cazzle)\ **Post date:** [July 8, 2016, 12:02am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/have-you-continued-your-relationship-with-an-extremely-jealous-partner/759309/3 "2016-07-08T00:02:44Z")
I try to give my partner no cause to worry, and to be scrupulous and above-board in my friendships with other men, probably beyond what’s really necessary. If, after all that, I still had a partner who was suspicious or possessive, I couldn’t see myself staying in the relationship. ---
**Author:** ![xizor](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/xizor/32/102_2.png) [@xizor](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/xizor)\ **Post date:** [July 8, 2016, 9:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/have-you-continued-your-relationship-with-an-extremely-jealous-partner/759309/4 "2016-07-08T21:31:05Z")
My partner’s ex was a serial cheater and he already used up all the valid arguments to further his cheating. That has made her extremely jealous and possessive and suspicious. So I am patient, and hope she learns to trust me. She is a great person despite this one flaw. And as long as I see it is getting better, I give her the chance to continue working on fixing herself. ---
**Author:** ![Procrustus](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/procrustus/32/2994_2.png) [@Procrustus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Procrustus)\ **Post date:** [July 8, 2016, 9:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/have-you-continued-your-relationship-with-an-extremely-jealous-partner/759309/5 "2016-07-08T21:36:32Z")
> [@xizor](#): > > My partner’s ex was a serial cheater and he already used up all the valid arguments to further his cheating. That has made her extremely jealous and possessive and suspicious. > > So I am patient, and hope she learns to trust me. She is a great person despite this one flaw. And as long as I see it is getting better, I give her the chance to continue working on fixing herself. Same here. It’s gotten much better over the years, but I take extra care to assuage her fears. ---
**Author:** ![Skald\_the\_Rhymer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ecccb3/32.png) [@Skald\_the\_Rhymer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Skald_the_Rhymer)\ **Post date:** [July 8, 2016, 9:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/have-you-continued-your-relationship-with-an-extremely-jealous-partner/759309/6 "2016-07-08T21:41:30Z")
The woman I lived with in the late 90s was quite jealous. But with good reasons; I was both cheating on and gaslighting her. I don’t mean that to boast; I was a huge asshole to her and deserved a beatdown I never got ---
**Author:** ![Omar\_Little](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/omar_little/32/269_2.png) [@Omar\_Little](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Omar_Little)\ **Post date:** [July 8, 2016, 10:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/have-you-continued-your-relationship-with-an-extremely-jealous-partner/759309/7 "2016-07-08T22:00:49Z")
> [@Skald\_the\_Rhymer](#): > > I was a huge asshole to her and deserved a beatdown I never got _Note to self: Skald is due a beatdown._ ---
**Author:** ![Skald\_the\_Rhymer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ecccb3/32.png) [@Skald\_the\_Rhymer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Skald_the_Rhymer)\ **Post date:** [July 8, 2016, 10:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/have-you-continued-your-relationship-with-an-extremely-jealous-partner/759309/8 "2016-07-08T22:03:24Z")
> [@Omar\_Little](#): > > _Note to self: Skald is due a beatdown._ Everybody knows that. I think it’s in the FAQ. ---
**Author:** ![Maastricht](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/a88e57/32.png) [@Maastricht](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Maastricht)\ **Post date:** [July 8, 2016, 10:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/have-you-continued-your-relationship-with-an-extremely-jealous-partner/759309/9 "2016-07-08T22:19:44Z")
You were gaslighting her,\*\* Skald\*\* ? Can you say something about how you justified that to yourself at the time? I’ve never ever heard someone admit they were gaslighting a spouse, and I am very curious. Lying to, yes, but gaslighting is more then lying, it is making the spouse feel bad/mad/sad about having dared to mistrust. ---
**Author:** ![Skald\_the\_Rhymer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ecccb3/32.png) [@Skald\_the\_Rhymer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Skald_the_Rhymer)\ **Post date:** [July 8, 2016, 10:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/have-you-continued-your-relationship-with-an-extremely-jealous-partner/759309/10 "2016-07-08T22:23:04Z")
> [@Maastricht](#): > > You were gaslighting her,\*\* Skald\*\* ? Can you say something about how you justified that to yourself at the time? I’ve never ever heard someone admit they were gaslighting a spouse, and I am very curious. Lying to, yes, but gaslighting is more then lying, it is making the spouse feel bad/mad/sad about having dared to mistrust. It’d be a hijack. ---
**Author:** ![Maastricht](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/a88e57/32.png) [@Maastricht](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Maastricht)\ **Post date:** [July 8, 2016, 10:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/have-you-continued-your-relationship-with-an-extremely-jealous-partner/759309/11 "2016-07-08T22:44:30Z")
Thanks for the PM explanation, Skald. /end hijack.