# Have you ever attended a same-sex wedding? Would you? **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [December 13, 2016, 2:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/have-you-ever-attended-a-same-sex-wedding-would-you/774611 "2016-12-13T14:34:01Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![AK84](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/85e7bf/32.png) [@AK84](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AK84)\ **Post date:** [December 13, 2016, 4:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/have-you-ever-attended-a-same-sex-wedding-would-you/774611/21 "2016-12-13T16:23:51Z")
No. And I would not. Though who knows what life brings. ---
**Author:** ![Pabitel](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/bbce88/32.png) [@Pabitel](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Pabitel)\ **Post date:** [December 13, 2016, 4:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/have-you-ever-attended-a-same-sex-wedding-would-you/774611/22 "2016-12-13T16:24:02Z")
It would have to be someone that was very close to me, like my daughter. I think the last wedding I attended was my own, 25 years ago. I don’t have that many single acquaintances and none that I am particularly close to. If I got an invitation for any kind of wedding I would RSVP with my regrets and send a nice card with a gift card enclosed. Nothing to do with the genders of those tying the knot though. ---
**Author:** ![kayaker](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kayaker/32/441_2.png) [@kayaker](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kayaker)\ **Post date:** [December 13, 2016, 4:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/have-you-ever-attended-a-same-sex-wedding-would-you/774611/23 "2016-12-13T16:26:11Z")
> [@Northern\_Piper](#): > > Why not? Define “attended a wedding”. When invited to a wedding, I go to the reception, but skip the church. I’ve been to [del]hundreds[/del] dozens of receptions, but only one or two church ceremonies. ---
**Author:** ![Chronos](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/chronos/32/134_2.png) [@Chronos](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chronos)\ **Post date:** [December 13, 2016, 4:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/have-you-ever-attended-a-same-sex-wedding-would-you/774611/24 "2016-12-13T16:29:58Z")
> [@](#): > > Quoth **jtur88** : > > Aside from several of my own, I’ve been to very few weddings. But one was my stepdaughter which was single sex. Only one I was ever at that I wanted to kiss both the bride and the groom. What was a groom doing at your stepdaughter’s single-sex wedding? Me, I’ve been to plenty of weddings. My extended family is very large, and we have weddings instead of family reunions. It happens that none of them yet have been same-sex, but if I were invited to a same-sex wedding, of course I’d go (subject to the same constraints as any other wedding, of how close I am to the person getting married, how far away it is, etc.). I do have a lesbian aunt, who I think might have finally married her long-term partner now that it’s legal, but she isn’t too close to any of the family now (in part because that side of my family mostly isn’t accepting of homosexuality), and she lives clear across the country. ---
**Author:** ![Velocity](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/velocity/32/18006_2.png) [@Velocity](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Velocity)\ **Post date:** [December 13, 2016, 4:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/have-you-ever-attended-a-same-sex-wedding-would-you/774611/25 "2016-12-13T16:32:16Z")
No. ---
**Author:** ![Nava](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/da6949/32.png) [@Nava](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Nava)\ **Post date:** [December 13, 2016, 4:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/have-you-ever-attended-a-same-sex-wedding-would-you/774611/26 "2016-12-13T16:48:07Z")
> [@DrFidelius](#): > > My Wife was matron of honor for a couple we know. But middle-aged lesbians seem to be effectively invisible. Well, they’re middle aged women. ---
**Author:** ![MoonMoon](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/moonmoon/32/2959_2.png) [@MoonMoon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MoonMoon)\ **Post date:** [December 13, 2016, 4:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/have-you-ever-attended-a-same-sex-wedding-would-you/774611/27 "2016-12-13T16:52:19Z")
> [@Nava](#): > > Well, they’re middle aged women. Ha! True story. ---
**Author:** ![QuickSilver](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/quicksilver/32/7832_2.png) [@QuickSilver](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/QuickSilver)\ **Post date:** [December 13, 2016, 4:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/have-you-ever-attended-a-same-sex-wedding-would-you/774611/28 "2016-12-13T16:57:32Z")
No reason I would not, and yes I have. ---
**Author:** ![pulykamell](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/pulykamell/32/3166_2.png) [@pulykamell](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pulykamell)\ **Post date:** [December 13, 2016, 5:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/have-you-ever-attended-a-same-sex-wedding-would-you/774611/29 "2016-12-13T17:07:07Z")
I’ve worked (photographed) a couple ceremonies, but I haven’t had a chance to witness my same-sex couple friends’ ceremonies (only the reception, as I rarely attend friends’ ceremonies as I typically work those days.) But, of course I would/will. ---
**Author:** ![Skammer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/skammer/32/143_2.png) [@Skammer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Skammer)\ **Post date:** [December 13, 2016, 5:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/have-you-ever-attended-a-same-sex-wedding-would-you/774611/30 "2016-12-13T17:26:05Z")
I am friends with several same-sex couples, but they either were married before I knew them, or had private (or, out of necessity, out-of-state) weddings. So I wasn’t invited to any, or I would have gone. I was also invited to a baby shower for one of the couples, but I had to work that day. My wife went. ---
**Author:** ![RTFirefly](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/c77e96/32.png) [@RTFirefly](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RTFirefly)\ **Post date:** [December 13, 2016, 5:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/have-you-ever-attended-a-same-sex-wedding-would-you/774611/31 "2016-12-13T17:31:45Z")
Haven’t, but would. The daughter of some friends of ours is engaged to another woman, and if invited to the wedding, we would be delighted to help them celebrate. ---
**Author:** ![SanVito](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/sanvito/32/2805_2.png) [@SanVito](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SanVito)\ **Post date:** [December 13, 2016, 5:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/have-you-ever-attended-a-same-sex-wedding-would-you/774611/32 "2016-12-13T17:38:02Z")
Heck, I went to my\* own\* this year. ---
**Author:** ![kopek](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kopek/32/337_2.png) [@kopek](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kopek)\ **Post date:** [December 13, 2016, 5:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/have-you-ever-attended-a-same-sex-wedding-would-you/774611/33 "2016-12-13T17:41:38Z")
Not just attended but was one of the officials along with my wife. Our friends went with a modified Quaker format and we were honored as heck to have the function of being the witnesses of record for the state. Odd thing – for us a lot of the long-term couple we thought would get married once the law changed haven’t; they wanted the right even if they never really wanted that path for themselves. Most of the ones we know and have participated in have been more the “surprise” kind; couples we wouldn’t have guessed would go that route. But in all cases it looks to have brought them a lot of joy and in the end that is all that matters. ---
**Author:** ![Draelin](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/ce73a5/32.png) [@Draelin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Draelin)\ **Post date:** [December 13, 2016, 5:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/have-you-ever-attended-a-same-sex-wedding-would-you/774611/34 "2016-12-13T17:43:26Z")
> [@Skammer](#): > > I am friends with several same-sex couples, but they either were married before I knew them, or had private (or, out of necessity, out-of-state) weddings. So I wasn’t invited to any, or I would have gone. Same. I have many same-sex-couple friends, most of whom were married before we met. ---
**Author:** ![ZonexandScout](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/zonexandscout/32/544_2.png) [@ZonexandScout](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ZonexandScout)\ **Post date:** [December 13, 2016, 5:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/have-you-ever-attended-a-same-sex-wedding-would-you/774611/35 "2016-12-13T17:50:58Z")
Perhaps surprisingly, there was a same-sex wedding (actually a “civil union”) at Pullen Memorial Baptist Church in NC in 1992. (I know it’s difficult to wrap your head around “Baptist” and “NC” in this context, but stick with me.) One of the couple worked for me and my wife and I were pleased to be invited. Pullen caught a lot of flak for allowing this. They were associated with the Southern Baptist Convention at the time and the SBC was not happy. At that time, it was not possible to obtain a marriage license, but it was an actual wedding, officiated by the minister, and had a fantastic reception. Another surprising thing to come out of NC was that an SBC church there called and ordained a female pastor in 1983. At about the same time, an SBC church in Chicago was expelled from the Metro Baptist Association because it had simply ordained a female deacon. Being rural and in the heart of SBC territory does not always mean that a church is backwards. ---
**Author:** ![edwards\_beard](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/7bcc69/32.png) [@edwards\_beard](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/edwards_beard)\ **Post date:** [December 13, 2016, 6:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/have-you-ever-attended-a-same-sex-wedding-would-you/774611/36 "2016-12-13T18:34:28Z")
Not only have I attended one, but I had the honor of walking one of the brides down the aisle. ---
**Author:** ![bump](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/7c8e57/32.png) [@bump](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/bump)\ **Post date:** [December 13, 2016, 6:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/have-you-ever-attended-a-same-sex-wedding-would-you/774611/37 "2016-12-13T18:48:04Z")
I have, in 2012, so the wedding was in the Netherlands (one is Dutch), so we actually made a trip out of it. (they’ve subsequently gone to the courthouse and got hitched US-style) But other than the fact that the marrying couple happened to be two men, it was just like any other wedding. Maybe a bit more fabulous- they wore matching bespoke suits, and one wore heels to the reception along with it. And the food/drink were stellar, which I’d also expect from those two. Probably the best part was the other wedding guests. It turned out that only their best friends were willing/invited to go across the ocean to the wedding, and we were all of a like mind and had a lot in common. So it was really more like a 4 day party with a lot of fun, interesting, intelligent, educated people that was interrupted by a wedding ceremony than anything else. ---
**Author:** ![Intergalactic\_Gladiator](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/intergalactic_gladiator/32/112_2.png) [@Intergalactic\_Gladiator](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Intergalactic_Gladiator)\ **Post date:** [December 13, 2016, 7:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/have-you-ever-attended-a-same-sex-wedding-would-you/774611/38 "2016-12-13T19:41:03Z")
I have and would again. ---
**Author:** ![missred](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/missred/32/14096_2.png) [@missred](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/missred)\ **Post date:** [December 13, 2016, 7:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/have-you-ever-attended-a-same-sex-wedding-would-you/774611/39 "2016-12-13T19:45:55Z")
The last one was this Labor day and I’ll be at a Christmas party in their home next weekend. I went to my former stepdaughter and her wife’s, who were married in Massachusetts when it became legal there and New York (where they lived) recognized SSMs performed elsewhere. Over the years, even before last year’s SCOTUS ruling, I went to quite a few union ceremonies, some of which I played music for. The crowd that I run with tends to be LGTBQ friendly. ---
**Author:** ![Nawth\_Chucka](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/c57346/32.png) [@Nawth\_Chucka](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Nawth_Chucka)\ **Post date:** [December 13, 2016, 7:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/have-you-ever-attended-a-same-sex-wedding-would-you/774611/40 "2016-12-13T19:50:11Z")
> [@jtur88](#): > > Aside from several of my own, I’ve been to very few weddings. But one was my stepdaughter which was single sex. Only one I was ever at that I wanted to kiss both the bride and the groom. Why did you want to kiss the groom at your stepdaughter’s wedding to another woman? [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/have-you-ever-attended-a-same-sex-wedding-would-you/774611.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/have-you-ever-attended-a-same-sex-wedding-would-you/774611.md?page=3)