# Have you ever become friends with a former boss? **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [August 6, 2007, 8:42am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/have-you-ever-become-friends-with-a-former-boss/414601 "2007-08-06T08:42:23Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 12\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Rigamarole](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/77aa72/32.png) [@Rigamarole](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rigamarole)\ **Post date:** [August 6, 2007, 8:42am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/have-you-ever-become-friends-with-a-former-boss/414601/1 "2007-08-06T08:42:23Z")
So I’m quitting my job… in 2 days as a matter of fact. It’s something I’ve been planning on doing for a while but I realized the time was right and put in a 2-week notice. Anyway, I have one manager in particular who I’ve always been very friendly with, kind of playful and just generally have had a lot of fun working with. But of course she has been my boss and we’ve respected the sanctity and professionalism of the employer/employee relationship. But since I put in my 2-week notice things have gotten… different between me and her. She has been treating me a little different, talking to me and confiding in me more and I am feeling more like an equal to her than her employee - in 2 more days I **won’t** be her employee any more anyway. And she has brought up staying in touch, and the thought hadn’t even _occurred_ to me before because, well she was my boss and it’s just generally not done for bosses to hang out with their employees outside of work. (at least, I don’t think it is, maybe some do) But she is the kind of person I really could be friends with, once I completely absorb the fact that she isn’t my boss anymore. Has this ever happened to you? ---
**Author:** ![Khadaji](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/9e8a1a/32.png) [@Khadaji](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Khadaji)\ **Post date:** [August 6, 2007, 11:15am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/have-you-ever-become-friends-with-a-former-boss/414601/2 "2007-08-06T11:15:47Z")
It is very common for me to be friends with my boss. I usually socialize with my boss and his boss. ---
**Author:** ![sandra\_nz](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/eada6e/32.png) [@sandra\_nz](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/sandra_nz)\ **Post date:** [August 6, 2007, 11:27am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/have-you-ever-become-friends-with-a-former-boss/414601/3 "2007-08-06T11:27:09Z")
I’ve had two instances of being friendly with my boss. The first instance was when I worked at a takeaway shop during my university years. One of my co-workers worked there full time and when the shop owner decided to put the store up for sale, she bought it. The second instance was when I worked for a small hr consultancy, and I just became very friendly with my boss over the years. I consider her to be a dear friend now, although when we were working together, there was still that aspect of ‘she’s my boss’. I think the second one is more akin to your situation. It does take time for the feeling of hierarchy to fade, but it does happen. Looks like you’ve found yourself a new friend! 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![Athena](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/35a633/32.png) [@Athena](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Athena)\ **Post date:** [August 6, 2007, 12:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/have-you-ever-become-friends-with-a-former-boss/414601/4 "2007-08-06T12:25:05Z")
Heh. Mr. Athena used to be my boss. Now I’m his boss 😃 Aside from that, I keep in touch with at least one former boss. I’d say overall I tend to be more friends with bosses than anything else. Not to say that there’s not a few that I can’t even stand to be in the same room with… ---
**Author:** ![Canadjun](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/76d3ee/32.png) [@Canadjun](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Canadjun)\ **Post date:** [August 6, 2007, 12:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/have-you-ever-become-friends-with-a-former-boss/414601/5 "2007-08-06T12:48:21Z")
I’m still good friends with my two previous bosses (from the same company - the first retired and was replaced by the second), but I considered them friends while they were my bosses as well. ---
**Author:** ![Mama\_Tiger](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/6de8d8/32.png) [@Mama\_Tiger](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mama_Tiger)\ **Post date:** [August 6, 2007, 12:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/have-you-ever-become-friends-with-a-former-boss/414601/6 "2007-08-06T12:56:43Z")
I’m still good friends with my former boss; we yak by email regularly, and I even helped her boyfriend find a job last year when the company he was working for (same line of business as I’m in now) went under. Although I will say that even when I worked for her, our relationship was more friends than boss/subordinate even though she gave orders and I took them. ---
**Author:** ![Lionne](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/8e8cbc/32.png) [@Lionne](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lionne)\ **Post date:** [August 6, 2007, 2:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/have-you-ever-become-friends-with-a-former-boss/414601/7 "2007-08-06T14:43:32Z")
Yep, I regularly hang out with my former boss. He’s a good friend to me and we get along well. It’s taking me a while to quit introducing him as ‘my old boss’ though. I can’t help it; that’s just how I see him. A boss who became a great friend. ---
**Author:** ![Cyn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/a88e4f/32.png) [@Cyn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cyn)\ **Post date:** [August 6, 2007, 2:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/have-you-ever-become-friends-with-a-former-boss/414601/8 "2007-08-06T14:49:36Z")
Yes, two fo my former bosses became friends after they retired. Both were female, as I am, and both quite a bit older than me, making it easier, I think, to go from a boss/mentor to a friend/mentor. YMMV. ---
**Author:** ![krisolov](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/krisolov/32/3724_2.png) [@krisolov](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/krisolov)\ **Post date:** [August 6, 2007, 2:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/have-you-ever-become-friends-with-a-former-boss/414601/9 "2007-08-06T14:54:49Z")
actually I’ve done somewhat the opposite. I had friends previously who became my bosses. For a lot of folks it would be an awkward situation, but we were nothing but professional and never had issues of friendship conflicting with work demands. I liked it as it removed some of the formality of business communications; i felt that we could talk more honestly about things. We are still friends to this day. As for bosses who I had not known previously, I have never made friends with them and have always felt that our relationships were purely professional in nature. Not that we weren’t friendly, but we didn’t socialize outside of work. ---
**Author:** ![SCSimmons](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/e495f1/32.png) [@SCSimmons](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SCSimmons)\ **Post date:** [August 6, 2007, 5:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/have-you-ever-become-friends-with-a-former-boss/414601/10 "2007-08-06T17:56:00Z")
My darling spouse is still friends with one of her bosses from about six years ago … I think it’s unusual, but it seems to work for them! ---
**Author:** ![Troy\_McClure\_SF](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/troy_mcclure_sf/32/4150_2.png) [@Troy\_McClure\_SF](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Troy_McClure_SF)\ **Post date:** [August 6, 2007, 6:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/have-you-ever-become-friends-with-a-former-boss/414601/11 "2007-08-06T18:24:45Z")
I’m not really close with him or anything, but I’ve gone out drinking my ex-boss and watched his cats while he was out of town a few times. ---
**Author:** ![Khadaji](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/9e8a1a/32.png) [@Khadaji](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Khadaji)\ **Post date:** [August 6, 2007, 6:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/have-you-ever-become-friends-with-a-former-boss/414601/12 "2007-08-06T18:27:20Z")
[QUOTE=SCSimmons] My darling spouse is still friends with one of her bosses from about six years ago … I think it’s unusual, but it seems to work for them! [/QUOTE] When I lost my job in 2006 my boss from 2000 gave me a job and increased my salary by 25%. Your spouse is wise in keeping those connections open.