# Have you ever been a best man or maid of honor? **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [May 10, 2017, 4:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/have-you-ever-been-a-best-man-or-maid-of-honor/786296 "2017-05-10T16:33:04Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![flatlined](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/eb9ed0/32.png) [@flatlined](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/flatlined)\ **Post date:** [May 10, 2017, 8:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/have-you-ever-been-a-best-man-or-maid-of-honor/786296/21 "2017-05-10T20:23:01Z")
Twice. Once for a rather small (-200) biker/Marine ceremony which went very smoothly. The second time was horrible. The person I thought I knew and loved suddenly turned into Bridezilla. In retrospect, it was pretty funny, but at the time it was a nightmare. At one point, I found myself driving 45 miles to get the right _shade_ of color of balloons that were going to be released to the ceiling BEFORE the guests arrived to the reception. The pearl colored ones she had approved a month earlier suddenly weren’t the right shade of pearl 2 days pre-event. Many of us were taking bets on if the marriage would survive the honeymoon, but she did a complete turnaround the day after night after the wedding and became the person we all knew and loved again. ---
**Author:** ![Una\_Persson](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/una_persson/32/346_2.png) [@Una\_Persson](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Una_Persson)\ **Post date:** [May 10, 2017, 8:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/have-you-ever-been-a-best-man-or-maid-of-honor/786296/22 "2017-05-10T20:26:26Z")
I’m probably the only person on this board who has been both best man and maid of honor. 🆒 ---
**Author:** ![Dendarii\_Dame](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/bbce88/32.png) [@Dendarii\_Dame](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dendarii_Dame)\ **Post date:** [May 10, 2017, 9:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/have-you-ever-been-a-best-man-or-maid-of-honor/786296/23 "2017-05-10T21:23:10Z")
I was my sister’s maid of honor. She was my matron of honor, and her daughter was my flower girl. ---
**Author:** ![Patx2](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/73ab20/32.png) [@Patx2](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Patx2)\ **Post date:** [May 10, 2017, 9:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/have-you-ever-been-a-best-man-or-maid-of-honor/786296/24 "2017-05-10T21:34:53Z")
Yes, once for one of my sisters.She was mine. ---
**Author:** ![stillownedbysetters](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/41988e/32.png) [@stillownedbysetters](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/stillownedbysetters)\ **Post date:** [May 10, 2017, 9:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/have-you-ever-been-a-best-man-or-maid-of-honor/786296/25 "2017-05-10T21:37:49Z")
I was Maid of Honor for my high school best friend’s first wedding. I was invited to her second wedding, but not asked to be a member of the wedding party. I think she grew to resent me because I introduced her to hubby the first. I was in a good half-dozen weddings as a bridesmaid/matron. ---
**Author:** ![Kent\_Clark](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kent_clark/32/105_2.png) [@Kent\_Clark](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kent_Clark)\ **Post date:** [May 10, 2017, 10:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/have-you-ever-been-a-best-man-or-maid-of-honor/786296/26 "2017-05-10T22:30:48Z")
My father famously told his best-friend-ever-since-they-were-kids, “Geez, I thought you’d ask me to be Best Man at at least ONE of your weddings!” ---
**Author:** ![Leaffan](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/leaffan/32/299_2.png) [@Leaffan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Leaffan)\ **Post date:** [May 10, 2017, 11:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/have-you-ever-been-a-best-man-or-maid-of-honor/786296/27 "2017-05-10T23:08:47Z")
> [@Una\_Persson](#): > > I’m probably the only person on this board who has been both best man and maid of honor. 🆒 I would imagine so. Sent from my XT1635-02 using Tapatalk ---
**Author:** ![RivkahChaya](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/rivkahchaya/32/8919_2.png) [@RivkahChaya](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RivkahChaya)\ **Post date:** [May 10, 2017, 11:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/have-you-ever-been-a-best-man-or-maid-of-honor/786296/28 "2017-05-10T23:32:53Z")
> [@Una\_Persson](#): > > I’m probably the only person on this board who has been both best man and maid of honor. 🆒 Yes, but I have worn both a bridesmaids’ dress at a regular old heterosexual wedding, and a dinner jacket with tails and white vest and tie at a lesbian friend’s wedding. I wasn’t the main attendant, just a member of the party, but I wore what she asked me to wear, and I looked damn good, if you want to know. 😃 It was a fun wedding. One side had all the attendants in dinner jackets, and all were women, except one of the women’s straight brothers, and all the other side’s attendants were in evening dresses, and most were men, and two were accomplished drag queens, although a few were women, but I think only one was someone’s straight sister. I’ve been an attendant three times, but never the main one. My brother’s wife didn’t ask me to be an attendant, because I had a baby at the time who needed his own attending, plus, we didn’t know until the last minute we’d be able to make it. My cousin, who was my maid of honor, didn’t reciprocate, because again, there was some question as to whether I could make it, but I was an attendant, squeezed in when it was certain I was coming. ---
**Author:** ![FairyChatMom](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/fairychatmom/32/21906_2.png) [@FairyChatMom](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/FairyChatMom)\ **Post date:** [May 10, 2017, 11:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/have-you-ever-been-a-best-man-or-maid-of-honor/786296/29 "2017-05-10T23:41:03Z")
Never been a maid of honor, nor did I have a maid of honor, since I eloped. In fact, I was only in one wedding - I was a junior bridesmaid when I was 9 or 10 for one of my cousins. I sang at one sister’s wedding, and did a reading for another sister. Just a guest at my brother’s wedding, and didn’t even go to the last sister’s rescheduled wedding. ---
**Author:** ![Regallag\_The\_Axe](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/regallag_the_axe/32/445_2.png) [@Regallag\_The\_Axe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Regallag_The_Axe)\ **Post date:** [May 11, 2017, 12:37am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/have-you-ever-been-a-best-man-or-maid-of-honor/786296/30 "2017-05-11T00:37:22Z")
I was best man at my brother’s wedding. I gave a toast that was short and straight from the heart, probably less than a minute. The maid of honor had a long, rambling, tearful speech. On average, the joke went, we were perfect. ---
**Author:** ![kopek](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kopek/32/337_2.png) [@kopek](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kopek)\ **Post date:** [May 11, 2017, 2:44am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/have-you-ever-been-a-best-man-or-maid-of-honor/786296/31 "2017-05-11T02:44:15Z")
Once and I swear to this day it was an evil plot to get me to do something I didn’t even do for my own wedding; wear a tux. ---
**Author:** ![jtur88](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/e9c0ed/32.png) [@jtur88](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jtur88)\ **Post date:** [May 11, 2017, 3:14am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/have-you-ever-been-a-best-man-or-maid-of-honor/786296/32 "2017-05-11T03:14:10Z")
Yes, a couple of times but only at very informal events, at which my wife and I were the only other attendees. ---
**Author:** ![Steken](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/e274bd/32.png) [@Steken](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Steken)\ **Post date:** [May 11, 2017, 6:49am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/have-you-ever-been-a-best-man-or-maid-of-honor/786296/33 "2017-05-11T06:49:33Z")
Yessir, best man once, for my best friend. Organised the stag party, prepared a big speech, etc. ---
**Author:** ![Gus\_Gusterson](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/85f322/32.png) [@Gus\_Gusterson](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gus_Gusterson)\ **Post date:** [May 11, 2017, 12:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/have-you-ever-been-a-best-man-or-maid-of-honor/786296/34 "2017-05-11T12:08:22Z")
Nope. My only chance would have been to be best man for my younger brother, but he chose his best friend instead. I got him back by choosing our younger sister as my best man. ---
**Author:** ![Dragwyr](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dragwyr/32/2855_2.png) [@Dragwyr](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dragwyr)\ **Post date:** [May 11, 2017, 12:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/have-you-ever-been-a-best-man-or-maid-of-honor/786296/35 "2017-05-11T12:12:43Z")
I’ve been the best man at a wedding twice. Once for my college roommate. He got married about 2 years after we were roommates together. I remember he called me to tell me he was getting married and he wasn’t sure who he wanted for best man. It was basically between me and another friend of his. I told him that it did not matter to me and that I would just be happy to be there to support him. He chose me. The funny thing is that we’ve grown apart and don’t even speak to each other. The other time was for my brother’s wedding. He grew up being quite the rowdy child, but after marriage, he settled down. He and his wife now have a 10 yr old and are very happy. ---
**Author:** ![HoneyBadgerDC](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/honeybadgerdc/32/1033_2.png) [@HoneyBadgerDC](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/HoneyBadgerDC)\ **Post date:** [May 11, 2017, 12:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/have-you-ever-been-a-best-man-or-maid-of-honor/786296/36 "2017-05-11T12:18:29Z")
I worked with a guy who didn’t have any friends and he asked me to be his best man. A couple of other times good friends had their brothers stand up as best man because they didn’t want to show partiality between their friends. We all ended up as ushers. ---
**Author:** ![JacobSwan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/a6a055/32.png) [@JacobSwan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/JacobSwan)\ **Post date:** [May 11, 2017, 12:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/have-you-ever-been-a-best-man-or-maid-of-honor/786296/37 "2017-05-11T12:37:48Z")
I’ve been Man of Honour, the male equivalent of Maid of Honour. I didn’t get to wear a bridesmaids dress though, and the marriage barely lasted a year. I’m currently playing the role of shoulder to cry on for both parties while they sort out their divorce. That’s less fun! ---
**Author:** ![panache45](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/panache45/32/64_2.png) [@panache45](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/panache45)\ **Post date:** [May 11, 2017, 2:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/have-you-ever-been-a-best-man-or-maid-of-honor/786296/38 "2017-05-11T14:33:00Z")
I was the WORST best man ever. This was when I was much younger, and my best friend was getting married and asked me to be his best man. I hadn’t been to a wedding since I was a kid, and all I knew was the best man had to give the groom the ring during the ceremony. So nothing else got done. Thanks to me, there was no bachelor party, no prepared toast, nothing else that the best man was supposed to do. But I did give him the ring. ---
**Author:** ![MovieMogul](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/f08c70/32.png) [@MovieMogul](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MovieMogul)\ **Post date:** [May 11, 2017, 10:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/have-you-ever-been-a-best-man-or-maid-of-honor/786296/39 "2017-05-11T22:07:23Z")
> [@CalMeacham](#): > > I was a Best Man three times in one year. > > Never a Maid of Honor, though. Hope springs eternal. 😉 ---
**Author:** ![Rick\_Sanchez](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/e19adc/32.png) [@Rick\_Sanchez](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rick_Sanchez)\ **Post date:** [May 11, 2017, 10:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/have-you-ever-been-a-best-man-or-maid-of-honor/786296/40 "2017-05-11T22:09:16Z")
I’ve been a best man once, for a good friend of mine. While I was honoured to be asked, and certainly don’t regret the experience in any way, I can honestly say I am never, ever, _ever_ doing it again. I had no problem handling the organisational aspects. I sorted out two stag dos for the groom (one abroad and one local), and I remembered to bring the ring to the ceremony and all of that. That bit wasn’t the problem. It was the speech. Now, I pride myself on being good at public speaking but man, I’ve never been so scared as I was before giving that best man speech. Turns out talking in front of large crowds, and being funny in front of large crowds are _totally_ different things! I don’t know how stand up comedians do it. The speech went very well, and a lot of people came up to me afterwards and said they enjoyed it and that it hit just the right note (irreverent but sentimental, and _ever so slightly_ salacious :)) and even the lady who managed the venue (and who has presumably seen hundreds of best man speeches) said it was one of the better ones she’d seen, but I will happily cut my own throat before putting myself in that position again! I learned the speech by heart, and it’s a good thing I did because if I’d had notes everyone would have seen how badly my hands were shaking. Seriously, great experience, but _NEVER_ again! P.S. - Six years and bride and groom are still going strong 🙂 [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/have-you-ever-been-a-best-man-or-maid-of-honor/786296.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/have-you-ever-been-a-best-man-or-maid-of-honor/786296.md?page=3)