# Have you ever been caught masturbating? **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [March 12, 2001, 2:45am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/have-you-ever-been-caught-masturbating/57603 "2001-03-12T02:45:24Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 4
**Author:** ![Rachellelogram](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/rachellelogram/32/8689_2.png) [@Rachellelogram](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rachellelogram)\ **Post date:** [January 1, 2014, 4:49am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/have-you-ever-been-caught-masturbating/57603/61 "2014-01-01T04:49:12Z")
Once my sister walked in on me (I was in my early teens). I walked in on her once, about 6 months later. Both times were under covers, but it was still fairly obvious. So we’re square. Other than that, no. All accidental, if that wasn’t clear. After these incidents, we \*\*always \*\*knocked first. ---
**Author:** ![panache45](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/panache45/32/64_2.png) [@panache45](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/panache45)\ **Post date:** [January 1, 2014, 6:02am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/have-you-ever-been-caught-masturbating/57603/62 "2014-01-01T06:02:24Z")
No, but I walked in on my ex once. I got off work early, and walked in on him having phone sex with someone. Very awkward moment. Funny in retrospect. ---
**Author:** ![Cheshire\_Human](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/5f8ce5/32.png) [@Cheshire\_Human](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cheshire_Human)\ **Post date:** [January 1, 2014, 8:34am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/have-you-ever-been-caught-masturbating/57603/63 "2014-01-01T08:34:34Z")
> [@Bob Ducca](#): > > You’re done. Uhhh… Not quite yet… Gimme a couple more minutes… ---
**Author:** ![KneadToKnow](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kneadtoknow/32/3999_2.png) [@KneadToKnow](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/KneadToKnow)\ **Post date:** [January 1, 2014, 2:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/have-you-ever-been-caught-masturbating/57603/64 "2014-01-01T14:49:07Z")
> [@Blackberry](#): > > This is a thing that happens?? “Who can come first” competitions among teenage boys are described in _Everything You Always Wanted to Know about Sex_\* as “ironic,” considering that as adults, most men would prefer greater endurance. ---
**Author:** ![Siam\_Sam](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/d78d45/32.png) [@Siam\_Sam](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Siam_Sam)\ **Post date:** [January 1, 2014, 2:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/have-you-ever-been-caught-masturbating/57603/65 "2014-01-01T14:54:41Z")
Does it count as “caught” if you’re running up to people while doing it? ---
**Author:** ![GrizzRich](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/7ba0ec/32.png) [@GrizzRich](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/GrizzRich)\ **Post date:** [January 1, 2014, 3:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/have-you-ever-been-caught-masturbating/57603/66 "2014-01-01T15:56:48Z")
My wife is a member of a bulletin board on which was a thread “what would you do if you caught your husband masturbating?” She told me that many of the women would take immediate offense and seemed to jump to the conclusion that there was something wrong with the marriage and counseling must be sought _immediately_. Further she volunteered that if she caught me masturbating, she’d join me saying something like “need some help with that, big boy?” She’s “caught” me more than a few times since that revelation! ---
**Author:** ![James\_Toothpaste](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/e56c9b/32.png) [@James\_Toothpaste](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/James_Toothpaste)\ **Post date:** [January 1, 2014, 4:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/have-you-ever-been-caught-masturbating/57603/67 "2014-01-01T16:49:16Z")
Not yet. 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![Nisslbody](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/e36b37/32.png) [@Nisslbody](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Nisslbody)\ **Post date:** [January 2, 2014, 4:46am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/have-you-ever-been-caught-masturbating/57603/68 "2014-01-02T04:46:37Z")
> [@GrizzRich](#): > > My wife is a member of a bulletin board on which was a thread “what would you do if you caught your husband masturbating?” She told me that many of the women would take immediate offense and seemed to jump to the conclusion that there was something wrong with the marriage and counseling must be sought _immediately_. > Further she volunteered that if she caught me masturbating, she’d join me saying something like “need some help with that, big boy?” > > She’s “caught” me more than a few times since that revelation! Seriously, I don’t understand why some people seem offended at the idea that their partner might “catch” them… it’s hot! ---
**Author:** ![Machine\_Elf](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/82dd89/32.png) [@Machine\_Elf](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Machine_Elf)\ **Post date:** [January 2, 2014, 2:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/have-you-ever-been-caught-masturbating/57603/69 "2014-01-02T14:39:47Z")
> [@Nisslbody](#): > > Seriously, I don’t understand why some people seem offended at the idea that their partner might “catch” them… it’s hot! They’re not offended at the idea of _being caught,_ they’re offended at the idea of catching their marriage partner at it. ---
**Author:** ![Malacandra](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/45deac/32.png) [@Malacandra](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Malacandra)\ **Post date:** [January 2, 2014, 3:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/have-you-ever-been-caught-masturbating/57603/70 "2014-01-02T15:21:02Z")
> [@slowlearner](#): > > My sweetie walked in on me a couple years back and it ended up in some enthusiastic coupling on the floor. And I admitted I did it a lot to my neurologist after he diagnosed me with Carpal Tunnel and I just had to know why, if I have 2 hands and only one pecker my dang hands had worn out first? You did it a lot to your neurologist? 😛 ---
**Author:** ![Themis00](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/13edae/32.png) [@Themis00](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Themis00)\ **Post date:** [January 6, 2014, 11:39am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/have-you-ever-been-caught-masturbating/57603/71 "2014-01-06T11:39:44Z")
No, but once my mom raided my room, when she came to visit. I was in the shower and she started searching my room, after she heard rumors about my sex life. She found my vibrator and confronted me about it. She asked my why a woman in a relationship would have a “self stimulator”. I died of embarrassment. ☹ ---
**Author:** ![Blackberry](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/ecd19e/32.png) [@Blackberry](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Blackberry)\ **Post date:** [January 6, 2014, 12:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/have-you-ever-been-caught-masturbating/57603/72 "2014-01-06T12:56:52Z")
> [@Themis00](#): > > No, but once my mom raided my room, when she came to visit. I was in the shower and she started searching my room, after she heard rumors about my sex life. > > She found my vibrator and confronted me about it. She asked my why a woman in a relationship would have a “self stimulator”. I died of embarrassment. ☹ Your mom should be friends with my mom, she went through my stuff constantly. That’s why when I was staying at her house for a few terrible months in my 20s, I put my stuff in my storage unit. Another time when I was in my 20s she was helping me move and found a condom and “confronted” me about it. I tried to get all my personal stuff and put it in my car before the people came to help me move but it’s easy to miss a couple things. One more reason I despise moving! ---
**Author:** ![JohnGalt](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/johngalt/32/184_2.png) [@JohnGalt](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/JohnGalt)\ **Post date:** [January 6, 2014, 5:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/have-you-ever-been-caught-masturbating/57603/73 "2014-01-06T17:15:17Z")
Going at it in my college dorm room, late one Friday night when my roommate was away, when I noticed a buzzing sound. I pulled up my clothes just as the RA (dorm supervisor) walked in. It was the building’s fire alarm, and he had to check all the rooms. That was the last time I did that while wearing headphones! ---
**Author:** ![simster](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/simster/32/1047_2.png) [@simster](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/simster)\ **Post date:** [January 6, 2014, 5:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/have-you-ever-been-caught-masturbating/57603/74 "2014-01-06T17:41:33Z")
> [@JohnGalt](#): > > Going at it in my college dorm room, late one Friday night when my roommate was away, when I noticed a buzzing sound. I pulled up my clothes just as the RA (dorm supervisor) walked in. It was the building’s fire alarm, and he had to check all the rooms. That was the last time I did that while wearing headphones! You should look into a better lubricant if your setting off fire alarms “going at it”… ---
**Author:** ![Lust4Life](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/ecc23a/32.png) [@Lust4Life](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lust4Life)\ **Post date:** [January 10, 2014, 5:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/have-you-ever-been-caught-masturbating/57603/75 "2014-01-10T17:44:27Z")
Yes I have , and Woolworths banned me from all of their stores after that . ---
**Author:** ![Machine\_Elf](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/82dd89/32.png) [@Machine\_Elf](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Machine_Elf)\ **Post date:** [January 10, 2014, 6:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/have-you-ever-been-caught-masturbating/57603/76 "2014-01-10T18:31:42Z")
> [@JohnGalt](#): > > Going at it in my college dorm room, late one Friday night when my roommate was away, when I noticed a buzzing sound. I pulled up my clothes just as the RA (dorm supervisor) walked in. In other words, you _almost_ got caught. Or did he realize what you had been up to just before he barged in? ---
**Author:** ![Cobi](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/5f8ce5/32.png) [@Cobi](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cobi)\ **Post date:** [December 30, 2025, 7:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/have-you-ever-been-caught-masturbating/57603/77 "2025-12-30T19:55:15Z")
Yes a few times. The first time, I lwas 19 living in Germany and was out for a walk in the woods. It was a summer day, so I had on shorts and a t shirt. I was getting kinda horny and there was nobody in sight. I stripped off to take care of business…and was going at it with my eyes closed when I heard a female voice. Snapping my eyes open I saw a woman, older than me, probably in her 30s, standing about 15 feet away. There I stood, naked, business in hand so to speak. It felt like my heart literally stopped in my chest. We stood frozen for a few seconds looking at each other. So She broke the silence with “Well don’t let me stop you.” The long story short is that she watched me finish, then invited me to her home for a repeat performance. ---
**Author:** ![markn\_1](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/f9ae1b/32.png) [@markn\_1](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/markn_1)\ **Post date:** [December 30, 2025, 7:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/have-you-ever-been-caught-masturbating/57603/78 "2025-12-30T19:59:34Z")
Yes, that sounds like a totally normal thing for a woman to do, based on my reading of _Penthouse Forum_. ---
**Author:** ![Darren\_Garrison](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/darren_garrison/32/92_2.png) [@Darren\_Garrison](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Darren_Garrison)\ **Post date:** [December 30, 2025, 8:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/have-you-ever-been-caught-masturbating/57603/79 "2025-12-30T20:22:29Z")
And that woman was Angela Merkel. ---
**Author:** ![engineer\_comp\_geek](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/engineer_comp_geek/32/504_2.png) [@engineer\_comp\_geek](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/engineer_comp_geek)\ **Post date:** [December 30, 2025, 8:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/have-you-ever-been-caught-masturbating/57603/80 "2025-12-30T20:53:14Z")
[Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/have-you-ever-been-caught-masturbating/57603.md?page=3) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/have-you-ever-been-caught-masturbating/57603.md?page=5)