# Have you ever been in love with someone you didn't like? (Or the reverse.) **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [August 7, 2011, 5:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/have-you-ever-been-in-love-with-someone-you-didnt-like-or-the-reverse/591841 "2011-08-07T17:47:39Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 14\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Skald\_the\_Rhymer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ecccb3/32.png) [@Skald\_the\_Rhymer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Skald_the_Rhymer)\ **Post date:** [August 7, 2011, 5:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/have-you-ever-been-in-love-with-someone-you-didnt-like-or-the-reverse/591841/1 "2011-08-07T17:47:39Z")
Inpsired partly by the _Moonlighting_ discussion going on elsewhere, but mostly because RealPlayer just randomly played “You Really Got a Hold on Me.” For purposes of this poll, “in love” refers only to romantic love. The fact that I can’t stand my oldest brother’s company for more than twenty seconds, but nonetheless would give him a kidney if he needed one, means that relationship is disqualified. Poll in a moment, but don’t let that stop you. I was going to make the results public as part of my always-be-a-jackass policy but just now changed my mind. ---
**Author:** ![Serenata67](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/serenata67/32/10646_2.png) [@Serenata67](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Serenata67)\ **Post date:** [August 7, 2011, 6:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/have-you-ever-been-in-love-with-someone-you-didnt-like-or-the-reverse/591841/2 "2011-08-07T18:41:15Z")
I was in a relationship where I felt very deeply for this guy. I was crazy for him. He was crazy for me. We were passionate, intensely in love. But he was a dick. He had a lot of personality flaws that made me not like him a lot of the time. But when I was in his arms, I couldn’t help but feel like I loved him. Maybe it was love, maybe it wasn’t. It was intense. It was passionate. It was a mess. ---
**Author:** ![Rushgeekgirl](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/rushgeekgirl/32/3715_2.png) [@Rushgeekgirl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rushgeekgirl)\ **Post date:** [August 7, 2011, 7:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/have-you-ever-been-in-love-with-someone-you-didnt-like-or-the-reverse/591841/3 "2011-08-07T19:59:56Z")
I’m just here for my sundae. But I really don’t think it’s possible. Because if it was, I wouldn’t like my stupid recently X’ed boyfriend. ---
**Author:** ![brujaja](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/4af34b/32.png) [@brujaja](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/brujaja)\ **Post date:** [August 7, 2011, 8:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/have-you-ever-been-in-love-with-someone-you-didnt-like-or-the-reverse/591841/4 "2011-08-07T20:04:18Z")
**Have you ever been in love with someone you didn’t like? (Or the reverse.)** The reverse. I’ve liked someone I wasn’t in love with. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Taomist](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/53a042/32.png) [@Taomist](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Taomist)\ **Post date:** [August 7, 2011, 8:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/have-you-ever-been-in-love-with-someone-you-didnt-like-or-the-reverse/591841/5 "2011-08-07T20:06:22Z")
I, too, want ice cream. Also, while I’ve had the momentary hot and hornies for someone I knew I’d want to smack upside the head the next day, I can’t imagine that lasting long enough to qualify as even temporary romantic love. I have had the opposite experience though, and wished madly for over a decade that I could feel romantic about my best friend. Loved him to death and still do, just…something was missing. Which was a crying shame. ---
**Author:** ![WhyNot](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/c77e96/32.png) [@WhyNot](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/WhyNot)\ **Post date:** [August 7, 2011, 8:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/have-you-ever-been-in-love-with-someone-you-didnt-like-or-the-reverse/591841/6 "2011-08-07T20:15:51Z")
Yes, both ways, loved and loving. We’re much happier and better friends divorced. ---
**Author:** ![Skald\_the\_Rhymer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ecccb3/32.png) [@Skald\_the\_Rhymer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Skald_the_Rhymer)\ **Post date:** [August 7, 2011, 8:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/have-you-ever-been-in-love-with-someone-you-didnt-like-or-the-reverse/591841/7 "2011-08-07T20:22:17Z")
NM ---
**Author:** ![Skald\_the\_Rhymer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ecccb3/32.png) [@Skald\_the\_Rhymer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Skald_the_Rhymer)\ **Post date:** [August 7, 2011, 8:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/have-you-ever-been-in-love-with-someone-you-didnt-like-or-the-reverse/591841/8 "2011-08-07T20:23:44Z")
> [@Rushgeekgirl](#): > > I’m just here for my sundae. Did you want the one with or without [del]potassium cyanide[/del] nuts? > [@](#): > > But I really don’t think it’s possible. Because if it was, I wouldn’t like my stupid recently X’ed boyfriend. I remember the tale, but I’m not sure that follows. if it’s not too personal, can you elucidate? > [@Taomist](#): > > I, too, want ice cream. Turn on your teleport pad. Chocolate with sprinkles, right? ---
**Author:** ![KinkiNipponTourist](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/e9bcb4/32.png) [@KinkiNipponTourist](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/KinkiNipponTourist)\ **Post date:** [August 7, 2011, 8:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/have-you-ever-been-in-love-with-someone-you-didnt-like-or-the-reverse/591841/9 "2011-08-07T20:24:37Z")
That is the perfect way to describe it. What a colossal asshole! But yeah, I went there. During an argument once, I asked him, how did your first wife deal with you always being such a jerk? “Hrm,” he said, thinking aloud. “she got used to it.” Well alrighty then! :smack:😃 ---
**Author:** ![Moonlitherial](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/4bbf92/32.png) [@Moonlitherial](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Moonlitherial)\ **Post date:** [August 7, 2011, 8:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/have-you-ever-been-in-love-with-someone-you-didnt-like-or-the-reverse/591841/10 "2011-08-07T20:28:57Z")
I can’t say for sure because we haven’t spoken more than a dozen words a year in almost two decades but I’ve been told that the reason my ex hates me so much is because he still loves me. I myself have never disliked someone I love romantically so I have always found it a little difficult to imagine. ETA - Hot fudge sundae please! ---
**Author:** ![Rushgeekgirl](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/rushgeekgirl/32/3715_2.png) [@Rushgeekgirl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rushgeekgirl)\ **Post date:** [August 8, 2011, 10:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/have-you-ever-been-in-love-with-someone-you-didnt-like-or-the-reverse/591841/11 "2011-08-08T22:22:30Z")
> [@Skald\_the\_Rhymer](#): > > Did you want the one with or without [del]potassium cyanide[/del] nuts? > I remember the tale, but I’m not sure that follows. if it’s not too personal, can you elucidate? > Turn on your teleport pad. Chocolate with sprinkles, right? Keep your nuts to yourself! What I meant was, I love him, and I still like him too. You’d think I wouldn’t after all the pain, but nope, I still like him enough to be concerned with his feelings and welfare. I’m angry with him, of course. For me _love_ is just\* like\* times a hundred. You have to like if you love. It doesn’t even make sense not to like if you love. ---
**Author:** ![Becky2844](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/91b2a8/32.png) [@Becky2844](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Becky2844)\ **Post date:** [August 9, 2011, 4:55am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/have-you-ever-been-in-love-with-someone-you-didnt-like-or-the-reverse/591841/12 "2011-08-09T04:55:54Z")
> [@Serenata67](#): > > I was in a relationship where I felt very deeply for this guy. I was crazy for him. He was crazy for me. We were passionate, intensely in love. > > But he was a dick. He had a lot of personality flaws that made me not like him a lot of the time. But when I was in his arms, I couldn’t help but feel like I loved him. > > Maybe it was love, maybe it wasn’t. It was intense. It was passionate. It was a mess. Makes the best love songs… ---
**Author:** ![Becky2844](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/91b2a8/32.png) [@Becky2844](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Becky2844)\ **Post date:** [August 9, 2011, 5:06am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/have-you-ever-been-in-love-with-someone-you-didnt-like-or-the-reverse/591841/13 "2011-08-09T05:06:28Z")
Deeply. Madly. Alarmingly. When I (we) broke it off I felt like I’d lost my mother. But sometime later (a loooong time) I felt like I’d woken up from a spell. Phernomes are a bitch. ---
**Author:** ![Serenata67](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/serenata67/32/10646_2.png) [@Serenata67](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Serenata67)\ **Post date:** [August 9, 2011, 7:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/have-you-ever-been-in-love-with-someone-you-didnt-like-or-the-reverse/591841/14 "2011-08-09T19:55:15Z")
> [@Becky2844](#): > > Makes the best love songs… I did some of my best writing when I was with him…