# Have you ever been involved in a threesome? **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [October 19, 2009, 11:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/have-you-ever-been-involved-in-a-threesome/514408 "2009-10-19T23:13:03Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![Tapioca\_Dextrin](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/3d9bf3/32.png) [@Tapioca\_Dextrin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tapioca_Dextrin)\ **Post date:** [October 20, 2009, 3:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/have-you-ever-been-involved-in-a-threesome/514408/21 "2009-10-20T15:53:25Z")
I picked up a girl at a party many years ago and a mutual female friend asked if she could watch. I declined :smack: ---
**Author:** ![Beltane](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/aca169/32.png) [@Beltane](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Beltane)\ **Post date:** [October 20, 2009, 4:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/have-you-ever-been-involved-in-a-threesome/514408/22 "2009-10-20T16:03:24Z")
> [@Diogenes\_the\_Cynic](#): > > If you are a guy, then you really shouldn’t count 2 guys and a girl as a three-way. That’s kind of a Michael Scott thing to do. > > Personally, I can’t see how having another dude in the room would be appealing at all. > > Two girls makes a nice fantasy, but I’d rather leave it that way. Monogamy is really where it’s at. Actually some of us guys prefer 3 guys, but have done two guys and one lady. It would be interesting to see how sexual preference correlates., to the types of threesomes ---
**Author:** ![corkboard](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/e9bcb4/32.png) [@corkboard](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/corkboard)\ **Post date:** [October 20, 2009, 4:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/have-you-ever-been-involved-in-a-threesome/514408/23 "2009-10-20T16:21:15Z")
> [@Diogenes\_the\_Cynic](#): > > If you are a guy, then you really shouldn’t count 2 guys and a girl as a three-way. That’s kind of a Michael Scott thing to do. > > Personally, I can’t see how having another dude in the room would be appealing at all. > > Two girls makes a nice fantasy, but I’d rather leave it that way. Monogamy is really where it’s at. Having the other guy there wasn’t the appealing thing, it was just sort of an “isn’t this wild!?!?” thing. Afterward, my friend and I agreed that it was a little weird watching her service the other one, but the fact that I was a single guy & getting some good sex from an enthusiastic, willing, horny, sexy partner was the best part about it. Watching her blowing him while I was fucking her wasn’t necessarily a turn-on, but it wasn’t a turn-off, either. ---
**Author:** ![Really\_Not\_All\_That\_Bright](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/e8c25b/32.png) [@Really\_Not\_All\_That\_Bright](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Really_Not_All_That_Bright)\ **Post date:** [October 20, 2009, 4:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/have-you-ever-been-involved-in-a-threesome/514408/24 "2009-10-20T16:28:46Z")
I think **Dio** ’s point is that it doesn’t count as a threesome if you’re a guy in a MMF threesome and you’re not attracted to guys, since your only concern is the girl and which hole you’re moving onto next. Girls generally (though presumably not always) play with each other during FFM threesomes as well as the guy, so for them it’s an actual threesome, as it were. ---
**Author:** ![Diogenes\_the\_Cynic](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e99b99/32.png) [@Diogenes\_the\_Cynic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Diogenes_the_Cynic)\ **Post date:** [October 20, 2009, 4:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/have-you-ever-been-involved-in-a-threesome/514408/25 "2009-10-20T16:31:38Z")
> [@Beltane](#): > > Actually some of us guys prefer 3 guys, but have done two guys and one lady. It would be interesting to see how sexual preference correlates., to the types of threesomes I should have been clear that I was only talking about straight guys. Obviously, if guys are your preference, then it’s the girl that’s in the way. ---
**Author:** ![Diogenes\_the\_Cynic](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e99b99/32.png) [@Diogenes\_the\_Cynic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Diogenes_the_Cynic)\ **Post date:** [October 20, 2009, 4:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/have-you-ever-been-involved-in-a-threesome/514408/26 "2009-10-20T16:36:00Z")
> [@Really\_Not\_All\_That\_Bright](#): > > I think **Dio** ’s point is that it doesn’t count as a threesome if you’re a guy in a MMF threesome and you’re not attracted to guys, since your only concern is the girl and which hole you’re moving onto next. > > Girls generally (though presumably not always) play with each other during FFM threesomes as well as the guy, so for them it’s an actual threesome, as it were. Even if the girls don’t touch each other, you still get the visual and sensory stimulation of two girls. But yeah, if you’re straight, the difference between MFF and MMF is the difference between getting two milkshakes and having to share a milkshake. Plus, for me personally, it was just be gross. ---
**Author:** ![Belrix](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/ed655f/32.png) [@Belrix](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Belrix)\ **Post date:** [October 20, 2009, 4:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/have-you-ever-been-involved-in-a-threesome/514408/27 "2009-10-20T16:41:35Z")
Sure it’s a fantasy but I think it would bring problems down the road, adding another woman to my wife’s and my playtime. Maybe I’d consider it if I could be sure that I’d never see the third party again - just a Kleenex girl to be used once and thrown away. I don’t want the complications that knowing the person would bring. ---
**Author:** ![Really\_Not\_All\_That\_Bright](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/e8c25b/32.png) [@Really\_Not\_All\_That\_Bright](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Really_Not_All_That_Bright)\ **Post date:** [October 20, 2009, 4:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/have-you-ever-been-involved-in-a-threesome/514408/28 "2009-10-20T16:43:04Z")
> [@Diogenes\_the\_Cynic](#): > > Plus, for me personally, it was just be gross. _deletes private message_ ---
**Author:** ![gaffa](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/e68b1a/32.png) [@gaffa](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/gaffa)\ **Post date:** [October 20, 2009, 4:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/have-you-ever-been-involved-in-a-threesome/514408/29 "2009-10-20T16:55:52Z")
> [@Really\_Not\_All\_That\_Bright](#): > > I think **Dio** ’s point is that it doesn’t count as a threesome if you’re a guy in a MMF threesome and you’re not attracted to guys, since your only concern is the girl and which hole you’re moving onto next. I don’t get why, or why my experience - me and a friend with his girlfriend - isn’t in the poll. It was her idea, and having been in that situation that MMF makes much more sense and works far better for the woman. Any woman can outlast any single man, no matter how big his ego, so having a second penis available is very helpful. I suspect this “MMF is not a threesome” meme comes from the Playboy Advisor column, who I recall ruling that “two men, one woman is a gang bang” - which seems pretty judgmental to me. A woman who has participated in a threesome is seen as sexually adventurous. But one who has been in a “gang bang” is seen as a slut. In my case, there was limited sexual contact between my friend and myself - while she was sitting on my face, he sucked my dick, thus moving me from a 0 to a 1 on the [Kinsey Scale](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Kinsey_scale). I wonder if I’d be a 2 if I had come? ---
**Author:** ![Jophiel](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jophiel/32/66_2.png) [@Jophiel](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jophiel)\ **Post date:** [October 20, 2009, 5:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/have-you-ever-been-involved-in-a-threesome/514408/30 "2009-10-20T17:07:39Z")
> [@diogenes the cynic](#): > > but yeah, if you’re straight, the difference between mff and mmf is the difference between getting two milkshakes and having to share a milkshake. drainage!! ---
**Author:** ![Procrustus](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/procrustus/32/2994_2.png) [@Procrustus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Procrustus)\ **Post date:** [October 20, 2009, 5:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/have-you-ever-been-involved-in-a-threesome/514408/31 "2009-10-20T17:15:12Z")
my S.O. and I have done it a few times. (with other women) I enjoyed it quite a bit, and she says she did too. I was afraid I might like it _too much_, and not be satisfied with “normal sex” after that. Turns out, our every-day sex life is still great, and we don’t crave another threesome, but are open to it any time if we get a chance. ---
**Author:** ![Really\_Not\_All\_That\_Bright](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/e8c25b/32.png) [@Really\_Not\_All\_That\_Bright](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Really_Not_All_That_Bright)\ **Post date:** [October 20, 2009, 5:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/have-you-ever-been-involved-in-a-threesome/514408/32 "2009-10-20T17:15:45Z")
> [@gaffa](#): > > I suspect this “MMF is not a threesome” meme comes from the Playboy Advisor column, who I recall ruling that “two men, one woman is a gang bang” - which seems pretty judgmental to me. A woman who has participated in a threesome is seen as sexually adventurous. But one who has been in a “gang bang” is seen as a slut. > > In my case, there was limited sexual contact between my friend and myself - while she was sitting on my face, he sucked my dick, thus moving me from a 0 to a 1 on the [Kinsey Scale](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Kinsey_scale). I wonder if I’d be a 2 if I had come? I think you misunderstood: while an MMF session would not be a threesome for me (since I would have no interest in or sexual contact with the other male), it _would_ be for the girl, since she would have interest and sexual contact with both males. Similarly, if two bi or pansexual or whatever guys and a girl are involved in an MMF encounter, that’s a threesome for all parties, since each participant is into both other partipants. In an FFM scenario, if the girls are into each other as well as the guy, it’s a threesome for all concerned; if, however, the two girls have no interest in each other and are just sharing, that’s not really a threesome for them, it’s just having sex with half a man at a time. To drag it out a little further, let’s say you have a scenario involving three people of one gender, but two are interested _only_ in the “middle” participant, only the middle person has really had a threesome. As far as the “gang bang” vs. “threesome” thing goes, yes, it’s unfair, but I think that comes down to the fact that women will rarely (if ever) participate in a threesome unless they’re going to enjoy the other girl _and_ the guy. ---
**Author:** ![Diogenes\_the\_Cynic](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e99b99/32.png) [@Diogenes\_the\_Cynic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Diogenes_the_Cynic)\ **Post date:** [October 20, 2009, 5:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/have-you-ever-been-involved-in-a-threesome/514408/33 "2009-10-20T17:19:43Z")
> [@gaffa](#): > > I don’t get why, or why my experience - me and a friend with his girlfriend - isn’t in the poll. It was her idea, and having been in that situation that MMF makes much more sense and works far better for the woman. Any woman can outlast any single man, no matter how big his ego, so having a second penis available is very helpful. > > I suspect this “MMF is not a threesome” meme comes from the Playboy Advisor column, who I recall ruling that “two men, one woman is a gang bang” - which seems pretty judgmental to me. A woman who has participated in a threesome is seen as sexually adventurous. But one who has been in a “gang bang” is seen as a slut. > > In my case, there was limited sexual contact between my friend and myself - while she was sitting on my face, he sucked my dick, thus moving me from a 0 to a 1 on the [Kinsey Scale](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Kinsey_scale). I wonder if I’d be a 2 if I had come? This was a bisexual three-way, not just two straight guys banging one chick. If you are not interested in guys (as you obviously are), then an extra guy is just an obstacle, not an enhancement. ---
**Author:** ![Who\_me\_1](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/958977/32.png) [@Who\_me\_1](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Who_me_1)\ **Post date:** [October 20, 2009, 6:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/have-you-ever-been-involved-in-a-threesome/514408/34 "2009-10-20T18:12:01Z")
> [@Diogenes\_the\_Cynic](#): > > This was a bisexual three-way, not just two straight guys banging one chick. > > If you are not interested in guys (as you obviously are), then an extra guy is just an obstacle, not an enhancement. Your definitions don’t interest me. A MMF threesome is just as much a threesome as a FFM. Not all FFM threesomes have play between the females, just as not all MMF have play between the guys. ---
**Author:** ![gaffa](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/e68b1a/32.png) [@gaffa](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/gaffa)\ **Post date:** [October 20, 2009, 6:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/have-you-ever-been-involved-in-a-threesome/514408/35 "2009-10-20T18:12:22Z")
> [@Diogenes\_the\_Cynic](#): > > This was a bisexual three-way, not just two straight guys banging one chick. No, this was two straight guys having sex with the same woman. And, while one guy had a pretty large woman sitting on his face, the other guy experimented. Sexuality is not defined by bright lines. If two men are double-penetrating the same woman, does it suddenly become a “bisexual three-way” if their balls touch? > [@](#): > > If you are not interested in guys (as you obviously are), then an extra guy is just an obstacle, not an enhancement. Huh? This was his girlfriend. _I_ was the “extra guy”. She wanted to experience two men at once, I was available, we had fun. Other than that one incident, I’ve never had sex with a man - I’d rank it just slightly above a Boy Scout camp circle-jerk on the gay scale. It is entirely possible for two totally heterosexual men to have sex with one woman and avoid any contact at all (even contact that would be acceptable while wearing a football uniform). In the same way, two heterosexual women having sex with the same guy would count that as a threesome even if they refrained from any contact. ---
**Author:** ![corkboard](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/e9bcb4/32.png) [@corkboard](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/corkboard)\ **Post date:** [October 20, 2009, 6:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/have-you-ever-been-involved-in-a-threesome/514408/36 "2009-10-20T18:18:49Z")
> [@Diogenes\_the\_Cynic](#): > > But yeah, if you’re straight, the difference between MFF and MMF is the difference between getting two milkshakes and having to share a milkshake. I drink your milkshake! I understand the distinction you’re making, but I don’t understand why from the girl’s POV, she’s in a threesome (with two guys), but from the perspective of one of the guys, he’s not in a threesome. Same group of people; a threesome for one but not for the others? It’s semantics. So what would one of the guys call it? “I was having sex with a girl and there was another guy there, who she was also having sex with, in a somewhat alternating fashion.” ---
**Author:** ![Diogenes\_the\_Cynic](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e99b99/32.png) [@Diogenes\_the\_Cynic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Diogenes_the_Cynic)\ **Post date:** [October 20, 2009, 6:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/have-you-ever-been-involved-in-a-threesome/514408/37 "2009-10-20T18:22:11Z")
> [@Who\_me\_1](#): > > Your definitions don’t interest me. A MMF threesome is just as much a threesome as a FFM. Not all FFM threesomes have play between the females, just as not all MMF have play between the guys. This is incorrect. If you are only having sex with one person, then you are not having a threesome. That’s the difference between a gang bang and a three-way. it’s only a three way if all three people are mutually involved. ---
**Author:** ![Diogenes\_the\_Cynic](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e99b99/32.png) [@Diogenes\_the\_Cynic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Diogenes_the_Cynic)\ **Post date:** [October 20, 2009, 6:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/have-you-ever-been-involved-in-a-threesome/514408/38 "2009-10-20T18:24:21Z")
> [@corkboard](#): > > I drink your milkshake! > > I understand the distinction you’re making, but I don’t understand why from the girl’s POV, she’s in a threesome (with two guys), but from the perspective of one of the guys, he’s not in a threesome. Same group of people; a threesome for one but not for the others? It’s semantics. In my opinion, you count the number of people that you personally have sex with. > [@](#): > > So what would one of the guys call it? “I was having sex with a girl and there was another guy there, who she was also having sex with, in a somewhat alternating fashion.” It’s called a gang bang. ---
**Author:** ![Really\_Not\_All\_That\_Bright](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/e8c25b/32.png) [@Really\_Not\_All\_That\_Bright](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Really_Not_All_That_Bright)\ **Post date:** [October 20, 2009, 6:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/have-you-ever-been-involved-in-a-threesome/514408/39 "2009-10-20T18:27:10Z")
I call it a spit roast. 2 guys does not a gang bang make. I mean, if there are only 2 people in your gang, you better live in a pretty safe 'hood. ---
**Author:** ![Who\_me\_1](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/958977/32.png) [@Who\_me\_1](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Who_me_1)\ **Post date:** [October 20, 2009, 6:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/have-you-ever-been-involved-in-a-threesome/514408/40 "2009-10-20T18:28:21Z")
> [@Diogenes\_the\_Cynic](#): > > This is incorrect. If you are only having sex with one person, then you are not having a threesome. That’s the difference between a gang bang and a three-way. it’s only a three way if all three people are mutually involved. This is incorrect. See? I can cite my opinions too. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/have-you-ever-been-involved-in-a-threesome/514408.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/have-you-ever-been-involved-in-a-threesome/514408.md?page=3)